Dec 08 babies are nearly one - PARTY TIME!

[EffiePerine]

As I accidentally filled up the old thread I thought I'd better start a new one

Afternoon ladies.

WG I was reading what you said about Madams sleeping. DS2's hasn't really changed with the move and many different beds lately but he like madam does this really early waking and is really upset about it. It's as if someone has woken him and he is desperate to get back to sleep. He wails and sobs and even throws himself around the bed trying to sleep. I have tried to avoid giving too much neurofen (calpol doesn't help) but on the nights I give it to him when he wakes early he does go back to sleep sometimes til 8.30am!!! But if I don't give it like Madam he will be upset until about 7am when magically he suddenly sits up and giggles and makes his happy noises. Giving the remedies helped too but I have managed to lose all the new strong remedies my homeopath sent over. I can only assume the teeth a niggling and bothering him enough to annoy him and keep him awake when he doesn't want to be.

wg glad you had a lovely time and away, and that you got the present siyuation sorted with your Dad. Re: the sleep have you tried letting Madam cry for a bit and see if she goes back off? Not to everyones taste but DS was a 5.30am boy( well a 1am, 3.30am, 5am to be precise) in the end we had a bit of tough love and ignored his early starts. He got the message after a few mornings and now regularly sleeps till 7am.

Oh my DS has just taken 4 very tentative steps unaided between sofas. Where's the stupidly proud mummy emotion when you need it eh??

Daisy that;s lovely news on the walking/ Well done H. M still likes standing and cruising, but has only ever taken 1 step once unaided, so I don't think I can say he's walking yet.

Hello, Happy new year everyone!

wg we are still having sleep problems here, similar to you now. Waking up at 4-5am. He does tend to go back to sleep eventually, as I bring him in to bed with me. Most nights he is waking at other times and waking me up but we ignore him unless he is furious. I think he has about 4 teeth coming through at the same time, so I guess not surprising, am going to try calprofen if he wakes tonight rather than calpol. I am so tired and not even back at work yet (moan moan moan)

daisy glad the visiting hospital thing is all sorted

kayz sorry about your rabbit

syb do tell us what your MIL did to drive you mental! mine really pissed me off over the holidays by being stroppy about getting no sleep due to DS. Just makes me think, great, nice to see you too, you got more sleep than me at least you stayed in bed. Grrrr...And moaning that DS napped at the wrong point just as she wanted to go out for a walk, and DESPITE the fact that I said "Oh I'm goign to try and get him to sleep" and nothing was said, and then as soon he was asleep it was the end of the world as it was the only tiny slot in the day where we could all go for a walk, and hence her day was ruined, etc, etc. Grrrr...
Also on that front the other thing that really pissed me off is her sodding dog. It is a rescue greyhound a bit temperamental so I just CANNOT relax when DS is around it. I am constantly having to stop DS trying to stroke it, and if he gets to close and the dog growls it is always my fault (oh the poor dog, etc, etc). Really pisses me off and scares me as well. If we end up with 2 DCs I just don't see how it's going to work with us going there, MIL is always giving DH chores to do and I don't think i would be able to watch 2 children for long around it. What would you do? I just can't see any solution.

Anyway I didn't really mean to moan moan moan about MIL, only came on to wish everyone happy new year and avoid the kitchen while DH is determinedly trying to feed DS something not from a jar and hence he is screaming the house down.

Kayz sorry about your rabbit

Veggie congrats on Emily's arrival!

WG that place sounds pimp! Thats exactly what I'd like to do - get the whole family together plus extended family etc and stay somewhere like that. Shame the period arrived but yay to the shorter cycles - wow they have been long! Fingers crossed for next month

Daisy, great news on the steps! DS took a couple of very tentative steps unaided on Xmas day and now will do 3 or 4 but then realises it's faster to crawl when he wants to get to the laptop, so dives to the ground

On a different note, I have a problem of ds not staying in the bath! He constatly stands up and tonight tried to actually climb out Any tips anyone?

Oh and one other thing - when he drinks from his cup and he's had a sip or finishes, he doesn't put it down on the counter, he just drops it and I'm not sure if it's because I usually hold it but he just sort of lets go if I don't - will he just grow out of this and realise he has to put it down on the table? wierd question, I know!

Syb what did your mil do?

rube DS drinks from his cup and then drops it over the edge of the high chair. However, this is what he does with anything he doesn't like (most things) or anything he has finished with! I think it's normal, but it's very annoying!

Hello Summer -
hmm in light of everything you said i'd be royally pissed!! I'm with you on the dh getting jobs to do as well (sounds familiar)
But she sounds like she's just pissed about everything, and yes as far as the dog - i'd be worried as well if it's growling. My dog is as placid as can be and only licks but if I ever heard her even come close to a growl, she's be outside for life! I must admit, I'd probably avoid going around there....

hello
summer that sounds rubbish As for the dog thing, I know I wouldn't feel happy. We had an unpredictable cat for 5 years before we had Lucy (got the cat from RSPCA and she clearly had emotional baggage!) but we knew we couldn't trust her so we actually gave her back to the RSPCA after a few months of L being around. She had scratched her arm and I just couldn't imagine how we would deal with it if anything worse happened. My ILs have a cat who is very soft usually but can play with claws out so I'm always trying to stop P from touching her/ pulling her ears/ poking her eyes/ grabbing her tail... I just think you can't trust an animal - no offence meant to anyone with dogs - I guess I just have The Fear - especially having seen way too may children needing surgery after dog bites
Anyway summer your MIL sounds very annoying and selfish.
kayz sorry to hear about your rabbit.
Veggie your lovely homely bubble sounds so wonderful. If ever I'm looking for a new family I think I might join yours . Mine's hard work at the mo.
wg sounds like you had a fab new year and you really deserve it too.
My Aunt Flo arrived in the night - whilst I was BF - in a cream chair so today I have been attempting to remove the stains. Is there no end to the embarrassment of being a woman?
Congratulations babyDaisy on the walking . Our exciting news is another tooth - so now she has 3! Two top and a bottom one now - and it's already making a difference to what she can eat. Today she ate a satsuma and ate the whole thing rather than just sucking the juice and spitting out the empty skins!
Back to work tomorrow I'm actually looking forward to it, and also my friend who has been overseas for 6 months doing mission work is back and she's coming to stay tomorrow night, so I can't wait to see her again.
MIL is coming to look after Lu tomorrow because she doesn't go back to school until Tuesday. Then it's my birthday on Wednesday and it's my day off - seeing the CPN first thing then just hanging out with Phoeb all day
Right ought to go and sort things out for the morning. Hope the babies sleep well and give us all some lovely rest... xxx

Happy New Year everyone! Sounds like all our little buggers scamps are up to the same shenanigans. T also throwing stuff out of the high chair and standing up in the bath. At the moment I just grab my opportunities where I can, so I give him a shower standing up in the bath and try to keep him from getting up to too much mischief in the high chair by singing stupid songs while he smiles at me pityingly. Not v helpful advice but all I know is that saying no just makes him do the opposite. I find myself getting easily annoyed when he acts up, and assume it's a normal reaction to annoying toddler behaviour. But I came off my ADs a few days ago and I'm sure am more tetchy. For those who had PND before and had treatment, did you experience any side effects when you came off them?

We had a good Christmas and New Year but still have these annoying cold viruses and I feel really run down. Should probably have a few days off the cheerfulness but it's so cold and dark I can't imagine a warming dinner without a nice glass of red or two to cut through it.

Glad you got a decent pressie in the end, WG. It sounds like you handled the situation really well.

Daisy, hurrah on the walking! Maybe a proud mummy emoticon could be ?

X-posted, Trace, good news on the tooth, and HB for Weds if I don't make it back on before then

Hello all

SL I would be worried as well if I were you - makes it so stressful having a dog you can't trust around. My parents have an alsatian and it's not allowed in the house when the kids are around (it's in the laundry/hall not freezing outside). And sometimes they put it in kennels. Am more worried about when DS gets older, because he's a bit of a loon and more than capable of trying to tease it. My inlaws also have a dog....I don't know what your DH is like, but mine is fairly rational and prone to think that I over-react and over-worry so I just made sure that over time he read/saw those awful stories there are from time to time about dogs and children.

People are stupid about their dogs though- and tend to think that they wouldn't hurt a fly. Perhaps you can persuade MIL that it's not fair on the dog being around your DS and that maybe it should be outside/out of the way so it doesn't get upset?

Kayz sorry about your rabbit. Hope F was ok about it - children can be surprisingly stoical about these things. Am going to join you and Veggie on your run.

Rubes DD is constantly trying to get out of the bath - and at my parents house managed to pivot herself on the side of the bath and throw herself out headfirst . We managed to catch her though. I am such a scardy cat and my children are fearless nutters.

Hello Trace - I meant to comment on your other thread and got distracted. Sorry - will try to remember what I was going to say.

Wg your new year sounds absolutely lovely. I know what you mean about this age though - they are delightful - but like giant babies rather than small toddlers if that makes any sense. So quite hard to manage being out and about. If your DD is anything like mine she's really not keen on being strapped in the buggy either. But so sweet and cuddly. DD is giving us proper cuddles now (for 2 seconds before she wants to be off doing something). Lovely.

Hey all. Apologies in advance, this is going to be a bit of a me me me whinge...

Am feeling rather jealous of all who are saying what a lovely age this is. DD has turned into a totally nightmare at the moment. Constantly grumpy, just wants to be carried around the house, not happy doing ANYTHING for longer than 2 seconds, howling in pushchair, howling in cot, howling in house, howling howling howling. She starts nursery tomorrow which is going to be fun as she saves her special high pitched ear splitting howls for when I am out of eye shot - but to be honest I am massively looking forward to NOT having her with me all the time. Then feeling guilty about that. Her sleep has always been awful but last night was a new low - woke up howling 8 times, finally DH gave up trying ot get her to sleep and got her up at 5.50 after nearly an hour of howling. She normally sleeps (if I BF her during the night) until 7ish so she is clearly exhausted but won't go to sleep, still howling. Under my arm right now. Oh joy.

i think I am had some absurd idea that when she turned 1 she would miraculously stop being such effing hard work. .
I went to see my lovely new nephew at the weekend (he was born new year's day) and found myself chatting to my lovely 2 year old niece thinking "please can I have a fastforward button to this stage?". And every time I see someone elses baby of around this age they seem so much less hard work than DD. I was nearly in tears yestserday in the library when I saw a mum reading her c.1 year old a book as he sat on her lap. DD won't sit on my lap, she just dives off after seconds then screams to be picked up again, I can't seem to do anything right and I keep ridiculously find myself asking her "what do you WANT then?" I so want to be able to cuddle her and read her stories and teach her animal noises and so all the things I thought I would be doing now but she has no interest.

Sorry sorry for the moan but I am losing the plot a bit and I feel like everyone else is better at this than me now. I have a friend with a 4 week old who seems more together than me. I bet she's not in her dirty dressin gown crying into her laptop while the baby howls.

Oh dear, Kiwi, have just got to answer you even though I am at work, naughty me!

Poor you, she sounds exhausting! You are not doing crap, your DD is just going through a difficult phase. Seriously, you are right not all 1 year olds are as hard work as this, but it is not your fault. She WILL get better. She sounds like she is uncomfortable at night and not sleeping and then grumpy during the day, if it is teeth or something then when that gets better and she sleeps better she might be more cheerful?? Just wonder if it is worth getting her checked out at the doctors? My DS is quite like this when he is ill?

Whatever you do, don't feel guilty that you don't want to be around her! DH and I are tired from DS's lack of sleep (which is not as bad as yours) and we both confessed to each other that we can't wait until he goes to bed at night. Which is awful as he is quite good fun during the day.

Sorry I didn't come up with anything helpful really. Can you get a hip sling or something to carry her around so that you can do something (I think JJ has one?) while she is being clingy. And maybe nursery, although likely to be hard for her at first might make her a bit more independent and less clingy? Fingers crossed!

Also, is there anyone who can give you a break?

Morning supergirls

I have a week to do a particular writing project so I can't be dallying but I did want to do a proper post. What ho to anyone returning to work today, Trace and others. I had a massive guilt this morning when DP went out into the cold, not wanting to go to work at all, but then I suppose I didn't choose to be kicked out of my job though I do worry I am getting out of the work swing and getting all soft and institutionalised... Mind you, unless I suddenly strike lucky with one of my neverending irons in the fire (if I can't mix metaphors horribly on here, where can I)I will have to go back to work in a year or so anyway, even if it's just temping or something.

The time at my sister's in the Midlands was smashing, really enjoyed that; and then dinner at my cricket captains on the 30th in London was lovely - he has a 3.5 month old DD now who was very cleverly born at the end of the season. 31st was big house party at friends nr Parliament Hill - such fun, although rotten hangover the next day. A couple of people went for a dip in one of the ponds on Hampstead Heath on New Year's Day - but not me, obviously. And we ended up staying in London an extra day, which I loved, obviously.

Kayz, I am sorry about your poor rabbit. What a shame. We had various rabbits when I was a child and they are quite fragile creatures really.

Urbane - I'd have liked to have seen that production of Frost/Nixon. I know what you mean about treating your DH as a boyfriend. I want to make a similar effort and not just treat DP as a flatmate (although he has got to do the same and not continually loaf around in pyjama bottoms watching Dave ) Oooh, and Liberty jewellery - they do have a nice selection. Mmmmm.

The Veggiecocoon sounds lovely...

WG - glad you sorted out the prezzie thing. What sort of coat do you have in mind? Jaeger/Jigsaw/LK Bennett/Laura Ashley all have good sales but none of these places are very 'street'...Which reminds me, I was intrigued when Rubes said your trip was 'pimp'. Is that like saying it's mint? I like the look of your big house. A bunch of our friends are trying to organise something similar (we tried adn failed last year). You haven't missed anything with my work other than the rag who give me the odd travel piece are running one piece of mine and have commissioned another. Not a big thing, just a very cheering one!

SummerL, your MIL sounds exceedingly childish I must say.

Rubes, are you watching Celeb BB? You must be Quite an interesting bunch in there, though the Jordan link with two of them just feeds my ridiculous interest in the dreadful woman. How are you feeling? I remember those early stages being so TIRING.

Spot - well done about the ADs. How's the work going? My splendid nephew has applied to Sussex University. He'd love Brighton, I reckon.

Daisy, well done to DS on the walking! And really glad you came up with a compromise re: visiting MIL with the kids, it was a tricky one.

Trace, are you doing anything special on your birthday?

Oh crikey, phone's ringing.

Morning and a happy new year to you all! Have finally caught up but have forgotten all I wanted to say...

Kiwi: DS2 goes through phases of being adorable and being hard work. I find him lovely most of the time, but I am finding DS1 very hard at the moment, Christmas and changes of routine have been bad news for us and his behaviour is getting v trying. He bit me last night for no reason I can see and has been hitting and pushing DS1. I think it comes down to parenting being Hard Work. You just get through any way you can and hope it works out in the end!

Daisy: thinking of you and your MIL. Did you get to wave through the window?

SLEEP: DS2 is appalling atm, he is waking a llot in the evenings (several times between bbedtime at 7ish and us going to bed at 10/11) and then eaking every 2 hours or so at night for feeds... must do something about it but not sure what. We also need to move him into DS1's room, but not sure whether to sort sleep first or do it both at the same time. Gah.

Sorry for the moans, quite nice to be back at work! We did have a lovely Xmas and New Year, saw family and friends and DH bought me a sewing machine! V excited despite being cack-handed at such things. I have some nice material and a pattern for a v v simple skirt, so will try and make a start this eve.

Hope everyone is well and not too frozen - bloomin' cold here.

Crossposted with Urbane, Kiwi and SL.

Kiwi - I love my DD dearly but she can be a bit of a pain in the butt. She also screams when I walk away (often, but not every time, admittedly), but I just wave and say something reassuring, and keep waving, and carry on with what I was going to do. They are just testing, and half the time they don't know what they want. Don't fret. It will get better. It's not her fault and it most certainly isn't yours. Enjoy work and savour any good moments. It sounds like she is either suffering with teeth or tiredness (as Summer says) or else with the general frustration that a lot of them seem to experience around now. Vent on here all you like and ride it out somehow. 'Twill all be ok in the end.

Summer, I love it when you break your rule of not posting when you are at work 'Tis the devil in me. Post! Post!

And where's Effie?

Ah, THERE's Effie. Right: WORK.....

kiwi just a quick thought but it might be worth taking her to the Drs - DS did exactly this when he was smaller - as did DD over Christmas and both times they turned out to have ear infections. In fact DD has had throat and ear infection over Christmas and now she's better difference is remarkable - like different baby.

Oh Kiwi, not sure I can offer any advice except to agree with the great advice you have been given. ds is a good sleeper most of the time (7-730) but can be a bit all over the place if it's his teeth. Having said that, it doesn't sound anywhere near what you are going through as he would possibly not settle then wake maybe once during the night when I would have to dose him up plus give him dentinox gel and he's back to sleep which is why i'm certain his few unsettled times are his teeth. Do you use the powders? They have a calming effect too and you can give them one every two hours if need be. When he is teething he is really irritable during the day from obvious lack of sleep. Oh, and i'm in a dirty robe on the laptop sometimes days in a row - ie now

Lady - too funny yes that word pimp has become sort of a running joke / over used word in this house since I always hated that show pimp my ride that dh used to watch! It turned into using the word constantly, and as we were renovating we were pimping our flat, then dh pimped ds's cot (yes there is strip led lights illuminating underneath it), so now everything we see that is "done up" we say is pimp or been pimped
I'm feeling quite queasy in the mornings and then exhausted in the afternoons, plus I feel like a whale. Thanks for asking - I don't want to go on and on about my symptoms on here as you lot would all get so tired of my whining! I will be getting my scan date on Wed so I will check if you are free when I know? Yes I am most definitely watching Celeb BB and gee I laughed last night - all "celeb's" but don't know who each other are! Can't stand Alex but quite like Dane and Vinnie. I laughed when you said Crikey - gee you come out with a lot of words from my childhood!

Glad there are other bath escapee's out there - I actually dread bath time and tbh he doesn't get one every night. ds is a fearless nutter as well, and I also worry like mad wheras dh barely bats an eyelid. DS still launches himself head first off the couch.

Has everyone taken down their Xmas tree now? I've been dying to (since Boxing day) bus dh says it must be the 6th for traditional reasons rather than bad luck. I'm only going along with it as I'm superstitious, so I looked it up to see about bad luck etc but it says some people believe it is bad luck to put it up before the 24th and down before the 6th so I figured we've already screwed that up anyway as it was up a week early?

Oh and yes I definitely agree - kiwi maybe take him to the GP to rule out anything else

Goodmorning ladies.

Kiwi you poor thing you sound so so down with it all. Please don't think your doing really badly while we are all swanning about like mums of the year. Surely you remember WG and her hell of sleepless nights and SL's stress of feeding probs and sleeping and well I think I can pretty much name almost all if us on the sleepless front. I think you are tuning into all the good stuff we say and assuming your DD is 'bad' in comparison. All you say sounds very much like my DS2 at the mo but, a) DH has been home loads lately and b) he's my 2nd and in the intervening years between DS1 & 2 I have managed to reduce the pressure I put on myself and are not so stressed that everything I do will adversely emotionally scar him for life! (probably still will but I'm less stressed about it now. You might want to check out the GP ear infection thing, I have to say when DS1 was at his most ear splitting screamathon (which was unusual for him but took me stepping back to realize) it turned out to be an ear infection.

A sling would also be a help look up baby wearing or slings on YouTube and you'll find all sorts of styles you can use to wear her and still get about your day, and most you can make yourself (might need Effie's machine though). But I think more than anything you need to step away from DD and not just to go to work. Your DH may find it difficult if she cries when you are gone but you need some space to be just on your own without your personal space invaded by a small person. You need to be reminded that your someone other than DD's mum and also you need to miss her, which you will but you will both survive. Finally you are doing a fantastic job, clearly, as she wants to be with you all the time. Let someone else do the job occasionally now.

Gosh I do go on don't I.

I wonder how Beans chat with her FIL went?

Trace, DS2 has teeth and he still sucks out the juice and drops the skins of the mandarins around the house, lovely having a walking boy as now I get to be surprised by little wet bits of yukky skin left on any area of floor in the house.

DH is at work today and I dropped DS1 to school this morning with the bike and trailor like a proper Nederlanse Moeder! It was freezing so I gave each of the boys a little hot water bottle each to cuddle for the short trip. I actually bought the bottles, each with a little roll necked jumper on it when I was preparing for DS2's birth. They were for pain relief but I didn't need them before I got into the pool, so finally they have a purpose.

I finished reading your late DH's book last night Lady, I loved it but needless to say I was sobbing at 12.30am when I finally finished it. It's really really good, you must be eternally proud. I want to read his other book now. I have passed it onto DH now and will be sending one to a friend who is a massive cricket fan in Australia (not named Greg).

Thanks guys, really appreciate the advice/support. I'm sure last night's screamathon was due to teeth - she's only got 2 so you'd think it's about time for another.. but alas the general grumpiness seems to be some developmental thing because its been going on for ages and generally speaking, the sleep has been ok (by which I mean she still wakes in the night and demands feeding but goes back to sleep pretty easily after). I think I am particularly rubbish at coping on not much sleep - not that anyone like sit but DH seems to be able to cope fine (whether he's working or looking after DD) whereas I'm a mess!

Veggie I think you are very right about needing time away from her. In the last year I've looked after her constantly - no help from anyone other than DH (who is fab but obviously has to go to work sometimes..) My in-laws however are fabulous, they are currently on a train to come to London today (a 2 hour trip) just to take her off my hands for a bit, bless them.

I have decided in the last few weeks that I just am not that much of a baby person. I like toddlers who can talk and be talked to. If we have another (which DH desperately wants) I want it to be born age 2.. though DH points out that no baby can possibly be as difficult as DD has been, from the very beginning...

Oh and I definitely should dig out one of my slings. I do find that very useful. I have a hip seat which is great for toting her around the house too. I suppose I should thank my stars that she only weighs 18 lbs at this point...

Oh and Rubes we have a plethora of bath toys but DS2 still often tries to get out after just getting in. Often the only thing which will make him stay is if he is bathed with his favourite toy, DS1. However, of late DS1 refuses to bath with DS2, might be memories of poo in the bath?

Fair suck of the sav Lady are you trying to get an Australian passport? You have been hanging out with some very Aussie Australians

I follow a silly tradition from home of putting up on the 1st and taking down on the 1st Jan. We couldn't put up on the 1st this year due to where we were but I took it down on the 1st anyway. DS1 cried the whole time and as a result the tree is outside next to his cubby house, not decorated though.

Oh and SL I'm quite surprised how iiresponsible your MIL is with that dog. We would like a retired greyhound oneday but they need a lot of exercise so lots of walks and aren't good with small children as they are quite hyperactive better with 7+ years at least. So therefore not a dog for either an older lady or one with small grandchildren!

Ooh, is crikey Aussie then? I thought it was uber British. It is one of my favourite exclamations, along with gosh, blimey, good heavens and shitters.

Veg, I am indeed eternally proud He wrote a few biographies but I think you'd have to be interested in the people involved. But his novel is exceedingly good although very very very long. It was longlisted for the Booker, which was ace. Anyway, it's brill that so many of you have read the cricket book because he writes very much how he was, so I feel as if you know him a bit.

Oh, and Greg wasn't that bloke's real name. He was called Glen but the publishers insisted on a change as the portrait was so unflattering. The surname of the Irish/Malaysian brothers was also changed. I was at Sean's the other night for supper and I met DP through James (one of the twins), to whom I am particularly close, (as he is a solicitor who briefs DP). And P.Daniels is the eminent employment solicitor who helped me and whose fancy dress wedding I went to in Sept. Finally (as I am boring those of you who haven't read the book, so apologies) the piece the newspaper are running next month is my description of our tour to Trinidad and Tobago in April 2008 when I had just found out I was pregnant (which I don't mention, for various reasons...) I will email it to you, Veggie, if you want.

I don't really want to take my tree down yet. We put it up late and also I can't be bothered But I don't believe in bad luck anyway. Rubes, do give me a shout when you are going in for your scan, yes. DP's at RCC for most of this week and if I wasn't writing I would have gone in with him one of the days and done a spot of shopping. And do tell us all about how you are getting on. I need to remind myself and anyway, it's good to get it down!

Right. Must.work.