May 09 - Six months on. Sleepless nights, hen nights and a sexybuilder.

[HeadlessLadyH]

Over here!!!!

spangle - definitely a good idea to go back at a different time to look again at the nurseries.

Slightly different, but when we were looking for a childminder I met quite a few, and met a couple a second time. I ruled out one instantly because when I arrived, her front door was open - not just unlocked, but open on to the street. The first time I met the CM we use now, I thought she was a bit too business like, but then the second time I met her I was sold. We all think she's great, DD1 loves her.

Bonsoiiiir.

Gawd, you turn yer back for 5 minutes and whoosh, there's a zillion pages to read!

Am back at parents AGAIN as I'm off to our annual conference tomorrow and Thursday. It's only in Reading, so Mum is looking after M for me. Have to go to the conference dinner (oh dear, shame) as well!

It's all been happening, eh? Grumpy, your post made me larf! M loves my parents dog (a bloody great big boxer) she was poking her in her eyes and up her nose earlier, and poor dog just let her do it, amdist lots of licking. M was squealing away!

Sympathies re the crap nights. M is up and about whenever. She usually settles after a bottle though, after she goes 'woooo waaaah hoooo haaaaa hehehehe' for about half an hour. Oh, and raspberries as well.

Soooo wedding! It was lovely, it all whizzed by so quickly. I'll put a link up to the posh photographers website for you when the pics come through so you can all have a proper gawp. My parents and the ILs practically ignored each other, apart from MIL syaing that thing about M being on solids. Spose thats better than them arguing! MIL did exactly the opposite of what she was asked - we made it clear that M was not to be whisked off anywhere, but she did just that - taking her outside when it was night time (no coat, hat, etc - just her black babygro with the glow in the dark bones!) - M was in her pram at one point and she was jiggling it fiercely making her cry even more. DH (hehe) had a right go at her on that. Also, My brother's partner H (who is about to have a baby too) was 'in charge' of M for the day - and a jolly good job she did too. However, at one point, I was chatting to her - she as sitting down and M was on her lap, and MIL came over and said 'oooh can I have a cuddle' and H looked at me and I nodded, so she handed her over - and MIL promptly walked off into the crowd! H couldn't charge after her being as hefty as she is, and I couldn't swish with the bloody long veil - saw DH and told him to sort it out NOW which he did. H even went into the area where MIL was at one point (at another point when she had hijacked M) and lay on the sofa and pretended to be asleep but was really listening in! Bloody hell, what a nightmare! Still, all done and dusted!

Organist broke his hand 2 days before so we had to get someone else in - she did do an ok job, but it did sound a bit Les Dawson-like at times. Ipod broke during the meal, so there was no music, but you couldn't really hear it anyway. Bugger as it took us ages to do a playlist. Brother offered to put his ipod on shuffle, but he had lots of thrash metal on there which may not have gone down well with the olds..

Apart from that, all went swimmingly, but I was exhausted - we went to a lovely swanky hotel for the night - M was still at my parents - and we just collapsed in a giant heap and snored away all night. Honeymoon was lovely, we went to Cornwall where it pissed it down every day, but there were some bits of sun so we got out and about then.

Ho hum. Now I've got to work on my re-re-submission for my PhD proposal. Sent them a draft before the wedding, and got comments back today. FFS, still have tons to do. Still, can take it to Spain with me, so not too bad.

Blimey, how long is this? Best go and be sociable to my parents.....!

Childcare? Am cacking myself about it I go back in April..

mrsSausage yay sound like you had a good time despite the shenanigans of mil and the usual last min disasters! You looked lovely and yes please to the link for the proper photos good luck with the re-submission... when do you have to get it in for?

spangle i have no experience of nurseries but it does sound like you need another look to compare them properly. Now you've seen the other one you'll be able to compare them a lot better after a 2nd look. When i was looking at primary schools for ds in sept/oct I had to go back for a 2nd look at the 1st one i saw as i wasn't sure if i liked it as i knew nothing else or because i really did like it iyswim... turns out i liked it just as much the 2nd time too.

MrsSaus - grrr at MIL, but glad that the day went well otherwise. Looking forward to seeing 'proper' photos, you looked really elegant in the few we've seen already .

I'd love to get married again...to DH, obviously, but we had such a fab day (even though my mum had changed all the buttonholes without telling us , and then she and the rest of my family were late!)

I've just been out to my Tues evening church group (7.30-10). I left O asleep in his cot with DH armed with monitor and bottle of EBM. Did the same last week and O didn't stir and DH said it was easy. This week I got a phonecall to please come home as "he's been awake an hour". Turns out he's been awake half an hour. DH says he's not sure I can go out again. Don't think he means it
In any case, DH is looking after him all day Thurs as I have a KIT day and then Fri night all 6 girls from our NCT group are going for a girls night out. Think I might tell DH not to phone on Fri unless really desperate.

saus - would love to look at posh piccies when you get chance to post the link.

Belgian - sounds like your house guests were quite a help except for the grocery blip

Mrssaus or is it Mrsmash? You loked beeeyotiful. DH and I argued just before our wedding and I had to take a taxi driven by a 17 year old. I arrived in style

Belgian spaghetti S had some of my 'tag bol' tonight and there was much arm waving and heavy breathing. She recognises the yoghurt pot now, that gets the full works, she's very partial to the coconut yog. She isn't 6 months yet, but she's been grabbing for the past couple of weeks so I'd given it a try. She loves food.

A word of warning though. If you happen to think 'ooh a mango - sweet, juicy, the fruit of fruits - would be a lovely thing for DC to try', think again. The resultant nappy is horrifying......

Uh-oh. The creature stirs.........it awakens..........

loked? loked? shurely shome mishtake.

looked

good to see you MrsSaus, so glad you had a lovely wedding. youlooked gorgeous and can't wait to see the new photos.

belgian, I wonder if H woke up last night because of the cold then. our house can get so cold as well and often down to 14c. I'll put an extra blanket on her tonight and we'll see if that helps.

spangle, 2nd looks are best. you'll see things you've missed the 1st time.

work, was supposed to go back in Jan but will prob be Feb.

spangle- it's definitely worth going back for another viewing, especially as H may be going to the nursery for a few years so you need to see how each age group is handled. I would say from my experience that the baby room is quite hands off, unless the baby is upset/needs a cuddle. With 3 babies for each NN, they are spread quite thin. I think it's good for the babies to learn independent play too. As they get older, they do more group activities- painting, water/sand play, etc. In fact, my DS did his first painting when only 9 mo . We only viewed one nursery for DD as we just wanted one near our house and there was only one. I was a bit concerned at first as it was very small so the babies were in with toddlers up to 18 mo old, and she did get pushed around a bit (she was only 6mo), but as it expanded, they split the rooms up which was better. Then when we moved, we looked at a few and in the end, went with one which friends use, even though it was more expensive and not as flexible about hours (full days only). Don't stress too much about it as you can always move nurseries. Some other things to consider are menus (what food they provide and is it cooked on the premises etc), activities (e.g. baby yoga, outside play, trips out) and daily routine (e.g. I was put off one where some children were sat watching TV even though that's what mine do a lot of at home ).

Grumpy....

to S's mango nappy......!

Talking of nappies...has anyone warned first time weaners about banana nappies?!

Gawd all this chat about childcare etc is making me worry so much. I'm going to go back 2 days a week but still back to my old job - the commute on the tube and bus is ridiculous and I am going to have to leave home at 7am and won't be back till around 7pm either. That's DH's usual times. What am I going to do?!

DH wants to move in the new year (complex issues with his house, mostly his Dad has money in it and DH doesn't want him to so he wants to pay him off and start anew with our own house - basically FIL lent DH some dosh when DH got divorced from first wife, to buy her iout of her share in the house.... eergh too complicated) - anyway, he wants to move to wherever I want to go, and it depends on my job. At my wedding my boss was showering me with praise to anyone that walked by and I would be daft to leave there really.... so watch out Dandy, I may yet be back down there to live!! (fingers crossed!)

Fi - proposal has to be in on 1st Dec. Have to take it with me to Spain to do but that's ok as Mum and Dad can easily help with M.

Siiiiigh. Anyone got any good articles on document analysis in qualitative research? Snoooooore.....

grumpy, xposted. Hi!

just had a look in at H who is very fast asleep, still doing the 'i surrender' position. I tucked a blanket round her just in case it gets too cold tonight. Hope she stays snug and asleep.

oops. actually xposted flippin, saus, AND pula... a good evening to you all!

Great to hear about the wedding MrsMash. You looked fantastic in the photos and Im looking forward to seeing the other photos.

Jael sorry to hear about what happened. I second what someone else suggested about chatting it over with someone. It is bound to have an impact on any normal person, I'd say.

Spangle my advice regarding childcare is to ignore the scientific things like Ofsted reports and facilities and go with your gut instinct. I'm a true believer. I looked at a pre-school for DS1 that was rated as "outstanding" but it didn't have any windows and when I got there the front door was left open onto a busy main road. When I pointed it out no one seemed particularly bothered, either.

Childcare I hated leaving DS1 at first but picking him up after being away at work was wonderful. I loved seeing his little face light up and he had such fun with the childminder. My friends have children in nurseries and they actually ask to go there on their days off, they love it so much!

Ses your DH definitely needs more practice!

muddled a kinky cervix? The mind boggles!

runningmoneky I find the time between 4 and 6 the most difficult too. I call it the witching hours as both boys are usually pretty grumpy and tired and I'm not much better either.

Grumpy you're totally misnamed. More like craaaaaaaaaaazyoldcaaaaaaa than grumpy.

Febes at your bra size! I have to go and be measured as none of my bras fit.

Reggiee I'm so jealous of your incredible sleeping baby. Mine is awake and being cuddled by his daddy right now. Grr.

Work I've decided not to go back but have various strategies up my sleeve to manage this without repaying the half pay and get my holiday pay. I'm going to ask for a career break for one year following my maternity leave so I'll be due back on the 1 April 2011. The woman covering my maternity leave did the same so there is a precedent. I don't want to go back but it does give me a fallback in case DH and I hate working together! Ideally I want to put the place behind me but it is a lot of money to give up.

DS2 did a massive poo today so I'm hoping that was the cause of his sleeping problems. Off to feed him now as he has woken up again.

Hello to everyone I've missed.

Oooh Dandy have a look around your local area. Two ebay shops have opened up near us and they will sell your things on ebay for a small commission so they get all the hassle.

childcare - I'm off to look at a second nursery tomorrow. I like the look and feel of it from the prospectus and the phone conversation except for the fact that they won't take EBM and store it for use during the day. I guess if everything else is great, I'll have to look into DS having some formula...
On the other hand, I'm starting to consider a nanny or childminder. I'm just not v clear on the difference between a nanny and a CM It seems that nannies come to your home and CMs you go to their home. What about their qualifications? Can anyone fill me in on pros/cons?

Llare - that seems like a great plan re work

Flippin - enlighten me on the banana nappies then. I know banana can cause constipation...

Morning all.

Good luck with the nursery, Ses.

Another bad night here and I really didn't want to get out of bed this morning! It is so cold...

Morning,
Not a bad night here only up twice.

All this talk of nurseries has spurred me on to email some CMs this morning. Ses as I understand it you have the difference between a nanny and CM spot on. The other difference is that a CM might have more than one child but they usually aren't allowed more than 1 under 1. CM's are registered with and inspected by Ofsted as are nurseries. I am not sure about CMs. Personally I am leaning towards going for a CM as I need a little bit more flexibility with hours than most nurseries might provide. For example I occasionally have parents evenings after school and so DH would have to do pickup which would be an hour or so later than I would normally pick up. I also like the idea of A being cared for one a more one-to-one basis in a family type setting while she is still little, but might transfer to nursery when she is older. I also have v fond memories of my own CM who looked after me from age 1 right up to after schools when I was 11. She became a part of our family and looked after both my brothers as well (she came out of retirement to look after my youngest bro ). Was devastated when she died two years ago Sorry I digress, I think you have to go with what you feel is the best option for your lo, my Mum works with nurseries and CMs and she said to look at both and go with your gut instinct.

I always seem to post and forget people

Hi mrssaus your day sounds fab despite the slight IL issues.

grumpy Nice to 'see you' sounding so chipper. hope you have a lovely time with yr DH

Hi everyone

I've skimmed the last 20 pages from the last ten days (you lot can't half talk) and need to claim a name check amnesty...

Well, we're in the new house and kind of unpacked. Sort of. MIL came to stay for (count 'em) 5 days and has now gone home very relaxed and happy - she loved the house. It's fair to say that I was not relaxed and happy by her last day. She's just a constant stream of non-sequiturs. I will provide examples at a later date when I am able to laugh about it.

DH was in Leicester yesterday and Edin today so is learning travel times etc. My M&D have been amazing - loads of dog walking and unpacking help plus they have swapped our huge sofa for a smaller one as ours wouldn't fit through a corner in the hall in the new house and amusingly they have sofas to spare.

There are, however, some issues with the sale of our house which are making me worry it might fall through. Hopefully I'll know more later today but yesterday I was all set to hire a removal company to move back to Yorkshire. There were tears. I am exceptionally stressed - it always comes out in my face and my whole face and head are very achy!

The house is fabulous, by the way. Every room is big and outside I can hear cows and the river. And the pig and chickens. Love it. There are only storage heaters and an open fire plus the cooker doesn't work (we left our lovely range as part of our house sale so asked the landlords to leave in whatever was here. No wonder they sounded dubious about it!).

We've found a nursery for F - and they do all childcare vouchers. It's the only one in within 10 miles but I felt really comfortable there and we saw three at our old house so I'm confident it's a good one.

Re weaning, F isn't 6 months for another couple of weeks but he sat in my M&D's highchair on Sunday when we were eating Sunday dinner and ended up eating. We put some carrot on his tray and he ate quite a lot (I was surprised when I saw his nappy on Monday morning!). Since then I've offered him broccoli and green beans on Monday (don't think he ate anything), banana yesterday (ditto) and pear today which he loved. I am not going to do any more than pop fruit / veg on his tray once a day until he is over the 6 month mark. I feel a bit cross with myself for having given him the food but it's up to him what he eats and doesn't eat - surely he must be ready? [hopeful emoticon]

I go back to work on 4th Jan - and the good news is that from not having a job for me (that's been a bit scary too, what with the move), it looks like there is a really fab sounding position being created - it's being suggested to our COO and my name is I believe the only one on the list. And it seems it's a work from home role. So, fingers crossed they approve the funding, it is as billed and I do get it!

Sorry about the rubbish English; am trying to get loads done while F sleeps.

hope all well, have enjoyed all weaning stories and tales of babies' gorgeousness, sympathise greatly with those feeling poorly or sad and have as usual laughed a lot during my mammoth skim read.

Right. Must get on.

Hi Reebee, glad the new house is good, hope the sale of your old house goes through ok, from our experience earlier this year you have my utmost sympathies. Re weaning, we are doing exactly the same with A as she decided to eat some banana for herself but isn't 6mo yet.

Talking of whom, madam has been asleep for 2hours now I am supposed to be going out in 40 mins to a friends' house for coffee... looks like I might be a bit late

Hello!

reebee - good to hear from you, glad your new house is great and hope your other house sale gets sorted soon.

Banana poo - sometimes it looks like worms! Brown worms!

Nannies don't have to be registered/inspected/qualified. I think they work out expensive for one child, but get to be ebtter value if you have more than one child needing care. We went for a CM because we needed a bit more flexibility (DH often works away so I'd have to dropoff/pick up either side of commute to London) and also DD1 was going through a very extended period of separation anxiety (and wasn't very confident), I was worried that she would struggle in a large group/fewer staff situation. She has got on really well with the CM, it's been fab and worked out really well for us but realise not suitable for all. Some CMs can work out significantly cheaper than nurseries, but ours hasn't (she's one of the priciest where we live, but I liked her best).

Potty training not so great today - all wees on toilet but two poos in knickers. Ah well, we're still only on day 5 so there's plenty of time yet. I think?

Afternoon all

Well, I am picking my beloved DH up in about 1.5 hours, I cannot wait (as some of you may have gathered from my FB status!). I have actual butterflies, even after almost 10 years together.

I am dashing about now, I shall be back later.

oh and do I look pretty?

Oh gosh just quickly read through

reebs I hope everything goes ok, I am a veteran of house moves (more than 11 in 8 years ), I know how stressful they are. Sneaky hugs your way.

And I'm giving S food before she's 6 months because the girl is ready. She has tiny tastes of what we're having and gets excited at the sight of me with a bowl/pot and spoon. I swore I wouldn't wean before 6 months but I'm going with my instinct.

CM/Nurseries - DD1 went to CM when she was a baby but DD2 went to Nursery. She stayed at that nursery right up to school though, it was a wonderful small, independent nursery and I've ended up being great friends with the owner . Over here they can go to school from 2 if they're (almost) potty-trained and a lot of childcare is free. French women go back to work a lot sooner though.