radical cross stitch, theological debate, Easter bunnies, changing bags,and a baby brother...it must be June 08!

[spongebrainbigpants]

Welcome to our new thread .

ktpie, it might be on the Meridian website, I think it was last time? Will check and link if I like it!

Quick post before the school run, but Rolf, last year my eight year old swallowed a ball bearing (similar story, had it in mouth to impress little sister, acidentally swallowed) It was quite large but passed through no problems. We noticed only because it ended up sitting on the bottom of the toilet after he poohed and flushed. Obviously too heavy to go around the u-bend with the rest of his deposit. Keep an eye on the toilets, it may beyout lucky day!

Hello. Not posted for ages , but I have been lurking. For some reason I am not feeling that I have much to add to the thread at the moment, although I am enjoying following what everyone is up to.

Rolf been thinking about you a lot over the last few days and thinking what an amazing job you do. I think you have had good advice on this thread from Sponge and Essie.

Essie so relieved for you that a deal has been struck at work.

Amber lots of luck with the fertility treatment.

Neenz congratulations

Deb Southwark would be fine. Very central, so you would be able to walk across the Thames and into the West End if you wanted. As an area, it is a mixture of places where things have been tarted up, and more normal inner city stuff. You could also walk along the South Bank with all the things that are there e.g. Royal Festival Hall, London Eye, Tate Modern, Globe Theatre. We could even arrange a London meet up in your honour if you have a lunch spare? We used to meet up on the South Bank in the good old days . However, if you and Nigel wanted you would be welcome to stay in our granny flat. We are 35 mins from Waterloo on the train and we are also on a direct trainline (40 mins) from Gatwick. Our house is very near our mainline station. I expect though that you are looking forward to a night together without children in a London hotel, rather than in a house with a toddler that wakes up at 5.15! Anyway, the offer is there.

P is fine. No news really. Trying to get ready for Christmas as we have both sets of GPs staying at the same time for three days.

Just a quick one for now - rolf I have sent you a message on FB. (cryptic heh?!)

x

Actually, there's a thing! I meant to respond to Deb but forgot - Spider said it. I like the Southwark area but don't know it v. well - I have a friend who lives there though (swanky flat because she's a key worker!) I might be able to beat Spider's offer - we're on the Northern Line, and DH's London house is often empty so you're welcome to use that as well.

Just been catching up on the last few days posts. Amber I'm so glad you're getting treatment, deb I also agree Southwark is fine (I used to live in London), and Neenz I'm sorry if I gave you sleepless nights worrying about the news leaking out . I am glad you've been reassured that it won't!

Rolf I'm not qualified to advise on your DD at all but I think Sponge and Essie have given some sound advice. You're not a crap parent at all. It sounds like there are good support mechanisms out there and i'd recommend chatting to your GP.

Big hello to everyone else!

Ooh, just had message from DH who's in London to say he's won a weekend break in Liverpool.

Hi spider, I'm v impressed that you are hosting both sets of GPs at xmas!

BDQ, yay on the weekend away - will it be child free?

Wow, I'm so touched at the thought you have put into your replies. Thank you so much. I found MrsMattie's post helpful, and the lady with the long list.

The last couple of days I have been wondering if it's all a storm in a teacup. I think the main worries are that they can't identify what triggers her bad behaviour, and when she is behaving badly they haven't found a way of getting through to her. When they try to lead her away from the situation, she lashes out.

I think I might cancel the GP appointment and speak to the teacher after Christmas . Everyone is busy and tired at the moment (including DD1). Maybe things will have calmed down by then.

I really struggle with being a "case". Going I dread the thought of people talking about my DD and what intervention is being planned for her. I want to chose what I share with people. When I was pregnant with her and the problems came to light, I told one or two people who told others and before I knew it I had well-meaning acquaintances coming up to me and hugging me. I just can't bear that sort of head to one side, pitying, kindly attention. I know I need to set that aside and focus on DD...

Right, must get back to working out radiator output requirements...

Will do a proper friendly how are y'all post soon.

BDQ when is your DH coming up to Liverpool? Is it for the whole family? Liverpool is a nice city .

Not sure of the detail about Liverpool trip so still to discuss whether or not it'll be child free.. I also used to live in Liverpool so it'll be nice to go back.

Firstly Rolf - you are not a crap parent! You have 4 children and are a lone parent lots of the time, I don't know how you do it, I struggle with 3. It sounds like you're lucky that dd1 has a very experienced teacher and it's great that you're both consistent in your approach. What does your dh say? Does he see the same behaviours?Does he ever have time to take your dd out for some one to one time? I liked the colour card system that someone posted - I think that could work as there are tangible results/outcomes which to a 4 year old are important.I think it might be wise to wait until after Christmas to approach the GP.At the moment your dd is coping with school, the excitement of Christmas quickly approaching and the recent work in the house with all that entails.Please speak to the teacher again and say that you are obviously taking this seriously but you feel that your dd needs to get over Christmas first etc etc...Maybe take on board a different reward system at home and see how it goes through the holidays.REMEMBER - we are all here for you, we won't judge you or your dd, do not run away and hide - we'll find you!!!

Spider/Essie - thank you so much for your kind offers.Spider - I think swapping one toddler for another on our child free night away might be a little too much House on the Northern Line sounds great Essie - how trusting is that - yes stay in my empty house, we haven't even met!!I'm getting all emotional nowAs for a London meet up, I would have loved it and if I had Ethan in tow I would have suggested it straight away but whilst Nigel is working my Mum's coming down to London for the day to meet up for lunch and shopping/chatting etc.... I'm really looking forward to it as we used to go quite regularly when I was growing up for girly weekends away(from my dad!!!) But I would love to meet some more of you sometime.

KTpie - wow 32 weeks aready

Sponge - looking forward to seeing you on the telly(box of tissues in my hand)

Wish me luck everyone - I took the plunge and have invited a Mum from toddler group for coffee tomorrow.Her dd is a couple of months older than Ethan and they are the youngest 2 in toddlers. She doesn't seem to know anyone either . I hope it's OK but she doesn't speak English so should be fun, Ethan really needs a playmate of his own age though - the last little one we had here was Spider's ds in June!!!!

night all

Good luck with your playdate Deb. I find it extraordinary that someone I haven't met knew exactly what I'd be doing - I was hiding, after looking at a v useful link someone posted on my other thread. Children with this brain thing can seem to be developing fine but differences can kick in at about DD1's age . And they can get worse as the child matures, and the bit of brain that DD1 is missing, in normal children, assumes greater importance. Or she could just develop normally. I know it's irresponsible but I wish wish wish I didn't know about it. I wish I'd never had all those scans. We'd just assume that she was being stroppy and would grow out of it, but instead any little niggle becomes Significant. I really can't do this. I feel as though I'm being picked for the wrong team.

That was a lovely post, Deb - you're really supportive. And I mean it about the house - you seem nice. Seriously - I won't be there in February; worst case is that DH is, but he's ok really!

Rolf I had a word with my Mum - she pulled a face and said the complaining women need to hope their children don't misbehave...too quick to judge and all that... half her day involved separating biters, hair pullers and throwers. Mum didn't think it sounded like a serious offence (from a four year old, got to remember she's only four). That's assuming she's not always doing it every time she gets near sand (but even then, Mum said the teacher should stop that if it was the case).

I'm going to London tomorrow overnight - I've been in denial until now! It's for DH's work Christmas dinner. It's our first night out together since Iestyn was born so basically he's doing emotional blackmail (DH, that is) but I so don't want to go. Iestyn will be with my parents, and they're both sleeping over in my house so that Iestyn isn't too confused. (Although it can't be worse than last week - Monday he woke up to my Mum; Tuesday to me and Tim; Wednesday to me and Mum; Thursday to just Tim; Friday to me and Tim again.)
Probably won't catch up until Saturday night - we'll be back in the afternoon.

Rolf, no! From the outside she sounds like a normal four-year-old. Who sometimes loses control - don't we all?

Rolf - Do you have a consultant who treated your DD before who you could contact and have a chat to about your fears? I know it isn't something you want to revisit but this is obviously really worrying you and some answers from an expert may either put your mind at rest about whether it is related or get you on the right track for dealing with it.

Looking forward to the link Sponge!

Hi Spider! Good to hear from you.

BDQ - brilliant about the weekend away!

Deb - I hope the coffee goes well, J only has one playmate his age and he is the one moving to Australia in January. Keep feeling panicky about him having no friends

Essie - enjoy your night out.

rolf my SIL has posted on your thread - she's odisco. (this is not as random as it seems everyone, honest)

essie I always find with DH's work night out that even when I'm not looking forward to it, I end up enjoying myself, I'm sure you'll have a great time.

deb enjoy your coffee, hope it goes well!

olittletown, interesting post from your SIL. Hope it helps Rolf, I cannot imagine how stressful this must be for you and I think the more people you talk to about it the better as they can provide help/strategies, etc.

Have a friend coming to visit today - she is in the middle of her seventh IVF cycle. Puts my worries about sleep deprivation into perspective .

Rolf - you can't get away from it though, you do know about the condition and surely that means that you know why she's behaving like she is. She's not being naughty, maybe she just can't help it. The best you can do is to hope that she develops "normally" and if not then look for answers.Like others have said the more people you talk to the better. (however much you don't want to)So - no more hiding eh? I wish I was in the UK, I think we'd get on!!

Coffee went really well thanks everyone. She did understand some English so I could fall back on that when I got stuck. As usual with Austrians she came bearing gifts - 2 pictures for Ethan's bedroom and a box of fruit teabags(she drinks that and I think she didn't know if I would have some)all nicely packaged with ribbon!Ethan and her dd played really well, no real arguments over toys, he wasn't as possessive as I thought he'd be, so it was a good morning. She's invited me to hers but she lives halfway up the mountain so I might have to keep putting that off until the snow goes or use the skibus!!!

KTpie - that's bad timing about your ds's friend moving away isn't it? I'm sure he'll make friends with someone else soon.You maybe need to start inviting Mums for coffee and see how it goes.

Essie - rofl at your alcoholic house vandal mumsnet stranger comment!!!I'm sure you'll have a great time at the works do, I will be fine with your Mum , it's not as if she's a stranger is she?

Sponge - 7th IVF I really hope everything works for her this time. I have a friend(3 attempts so far at IVF) who's having serious problems with her dh but she's on the list for an egg donor and should be hearing soon. She doesn't know whether to go through with it in case they end up not together, this is her last chance and I've said to go for it because otherwise she'll spend the rest of her life thinking what if it had worked that last time.When I had Stefan she had just been through her 1st course and I don't know who cried more when she came to the hospital to see us - her or me?

olittle town - I thought odisco was some medical term until I read the thread and saw it was her username!!oops

Debs that post confused me, I thought you were saying you would be OK staying with Essie's Mum. The I realised that I was referring to Iestyn not you!
Glad the coffee went well and you are right I need to take the plunge and get chatting to more people.

Lol ktpie, I had the same thought about Deb staying with Essie's mum!!

Deb, glad the coffee went well - what a lovely, but rather expensive, tradition to bring gifts! I hope this is just for new friends and not everytime you have coffee!

My friend has had 3 BFNs and 3 early m/cs so they have given up using their own eggs/sperm and are going for double donor. I don't really think her dh is v happy about it though - all v sad all round.

How hard for your friend to make that decision .

Rolf I'm really sorry if I upset you. I only found out that the girl was being refered as my friend told me she was joining dd's Rainbow pack and I mentioned she had hit her a while ago and then she told me she was still quite aggressive. I wouildn't even mention it to the mother as I feel it's none of my business! I was thinking about your dd and wondered if her teacher would have the same reaction if she was a boy. There are a few boisterous boys in dd1's class and it is accepted behaviour for boys and no intervention is expected, certainly not in infant school age children.

Lol- it does sound like I would be staying with Essie's Mum which I'm sure would be very nice but not exactly what we had planned for our night away!!

still giggling about staying with Essie's Mum

hi rolf my SIL's email is on the corpal webpage here I'm not sure how often she checks mumsnet, but she would be happy to answer your questions, and she's based near you.

How is DS1 - did he find his pocket money? here is a rubbish joke on the subject of swallowing money...

"Dr Dr, my son has swallowed a £1 coin"
"Well, he'll need an XRay now and another one in 3 days time."
"Why does he need another Xray?"
"To check for any change!"

Deb I also momentarily thought you were going to stay with Essie's Mum!

sponge how awful for your friends, I hope they have success this time, and her DH can come to terms with it.

I have been successfully avoiding buying anything in the Boden Sale today - plaudits please!