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August 2008 - Whistle No. More Here It Is!

933 replies

TwilightSurfer · 04/11/2009 01:11

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OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 18:51

hi TS, lovely of you to join us, why not tell us a bit about yourself, we have a fab thread administrator who'll add you to the list

alittlebitshy · 11/11/2009 19:00

ouch, poor seb. sounds nasty. I also vote for metanium.

Good luck with the drastic action queen. you can do it, and once it is done you will feel so proud (and you'll have all that nice child free time on your hands).

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 19:04

thanks ALBS

Hi ts good to see you. I had some problems posting this afternoon as well.

RedLentil · 11/11/2009 19:41

The whole thing was behaving like a screen shot for some reason.

i love the new name Queen. Can dp get a tub of vaseline on the way home as barrier it makes if you apply enough would keep the urea off the sores better than the sudocrem.

Poor thing. That sounds awful.

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 19:56

Queenie I only keep a tube of metonium for the more serious moments as (horrible as it is) it works!! Wee soul, having never had my own penis I can't imagine how uncomfortable a sore on the end of it would be [soothing thoughts]

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 19:57

ALBS how is darling Henry? hopefully no more 'episodes' whilst I was absent

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:07

right - ds is being all miserable. Do I chance a repeat of last night and put him to bed?
I think I should. BUT I will have to bite the bullet and stand firm when he wakes up [meep]

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:11

QofD - time to start, as someone explained and I wholeheartedly agree it will be like hell on earth for the next few nights but once you've cracked it and Seb has an understanding of whats going on it will all help

take him up, settle him down in a dimly lit but cosey room, get him comfy and in a firm but kind voice tell him its time to sleep and put him down

we're all here, just ask

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:28

ok - he fell asleep on the boob, then woke up when I went to put him down. Now he's screaming his head off up there.
So do I give it a couple of minutes then calm him down and put him down again?

SazZaVoom · 11/11/2009 20:33

Exactly

Go and empty the compost, or something to remove yourself from having to bear listening, then go in, lay down, say night night and leave again. YOU CAN do this

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:34

yes, you need to start letting him go down awake so he learns how to settle himself down to sleep - does he have a favourite toy/dummy/blanket?

I used to sit outside DD1's bedroom listening to her howl, broke my heart but I always wondered if she would stop in the next minute as then I would have to start all over again if I went in - not everybody's cup of tea and I understand why as it is sooooooooooooo hard to do but after about 5 nights getting easier every night she went down like a dream

I know its not much use to you tonight though and I'm sorry. try to calm him and then lie him down again, even sit next to the cot and stroke his back to soothe him - you can start moving further and further away as the days progress until you're outside?

SazZaVoom · 11/11/2009 20:35

Sorry, meant to say lay HIM down, although you may feel like lying down with a cool flannel on your forehead

How is he?

SazZaVoom · 11/11/2009 20:36

I have to go and eat as only just home but will be back later, hopefully listening to a virtual snoring Seb. Stay strong

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:37

I'll stay for a wee while as my head is bouncing with this fecking cold but as Sazz says, whichever you choose to do YOU CAN DO IT

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:40

well, he's making mumbling noises up there now. I do love him loads, but BOY he's hard work (I know, no one ever said having kids was easy)
The REAL challenge will be when DP is home and seb is doing this. DP's first reaction is always 'I'll bring him down then' so not only do I have to be firm with ds, I have to be firm with DP too... (and myself obviously)

RedLentil · 11/11/2009 20:44

Here too, though dh may nick the computer at any stage.

You can do this, and when Seb is better rested in the daytime he will be happier.

Parenting easy?

poppysocks · 11/11/2009 20:45

Your break sounds utterly fab dizzy . Dramas apart! And yes, we are serious about planning a trip. But all depends on my Mum and her willingness to pick up the reins in our absence. She's coming next week though and I have a cupboard well-stocked with gin...[hopeful]

So sorry thing are feeling so difficult at the mo queen. Just articulating the things you know you're not doing so well at the mo is a big thing. You can crack the routine and that will give you such a boost to tackle the rest. In some ways the routine is the easy bit as you know from the wealth of experience on here that it will get better, and quite quickly, once you're consistent. As others have said, you just need to pick your battles. Good luck. We are all here for you.

Thanks for asking about BiL and family red. BiL seems to be battling hard. All this talk about routine/structure is very interesting as it chimes in this, very different(!) instance too. He now recognises the need to have a routine, keep busy, achieve things, however small each day and to keep moving forwards. Doesn't make the horror of the last 6 months any easier but it does make it easier to deal with iykwim. MiL's health isn't great at the best of times and it's nose-dived recently, which hasn't helped DH's frayed nerves.

Sorry to hear about DS1's school woes VG. Hope all goes well with the new school. I know exactly what you mean about taking positive action making you feel better. Trouble is that in this case, would this actually be better for the DDs or just my work commitments? I'm going to meet a childminder and a nursery tomorrow and am starting to feel calmer and more open-minded about the whole situation so we'll see. Still bloody annoyed (and tired!) though.

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:46

Awww dizzy you should be going to bed and sleeping off the cold, not sitting up here listening to me wittering on.
All quiet upstairs right now.
I should go prepare veg etc for our dinner, so it's all ready to cook when DP gets home. That way, I can deal with Seb's wakeup when it comes. I think the trick is going to be NOT to ask DP to do a settle, as he will go up there, take seb into our room and then bring him downstairs saying 'I couldn't get him to sleep'

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:48

just seen a story on msn about a woman handed and asbo for noisy sex. EVERY NIGHT OF THE WEEK
How can you be so loud that the postman complains??

poppysocks · 11/11/2009 20:49

Sorry - that took literally hours to post as bedtime, dinner, chatting to DH came in between. However, I too am here queen.

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:52

Queenie it is sometimes harder for them to realise that they're not helping when they think they are, especially if he hasn't seen the wee man all day.

Explain to him that you NEED for the sake of everyone's health and sanity to get Seb into a settled routine at bedtime and whilst you appreciate he wants to help you're both going to have to make some changes. Explain to him clearly and simply how you want to go about this and ask him to respect it just for a few days to see if it will work/help improve things

I took DH completely out of the equation when dealing with DD1 and did it when DH was on late shift and therefore couldn't interfere help, it was a horrible struggle but it worked and she then knew what to do when either one of us was putting her down

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:53

I love you ladies.
Still all quiet here. very tempted to go check on him, but worried I'll set him off again if I do.

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:55

poppy glad to hear of improvements, however slight, with BIL - I mean it whole heartdly when I say we're here for whatever you need if we can ever help shall be delighted to help plan your NY trip if your mum steps up to the plate too

good luck with the CMer and nursery tomorrow - trust your instincts and I'm sure you'll do no wrong by the wee ones - shall have to get together soon, L asking after M although its hard to explain to a 3yr old that she's riddled with disease and not the best playmate at the moment

dizzydixies · 11/11/2009 20:56

Queenie I cannot stress this enough LEAVE HIM ALONE!!!! do NOT go in - I made this mistake last night and had a hellish night

QueenofDreams · 11/11/2009 20:58

ok - am leaving him alone. I have not been up, nor will I.
Will sit on my hands instead.
ALthough it would be more productive to go peel potatoes or something.