Fab Feb 2009 - 9 months in, 9 months out, now they're sitting, standing and crawling about

[TheHAUNTEDHouseofMirth]

Here we go again!

Oh no MOS - FW only seems to be capable of making an effort in 24 hour stints. I know you've done the counselling/mediation course but it must be so difficult to try to apply it - and all your professional knowledge - to a situation when you're in the middle of it. Can I make a suggestion - can I suggest that you and DH go into separate rooms when the kids are down and honestly write down on a piece of paper 10 things that you love about each other and being together and 10 things that drive you crazy about each other and being together and then sit down, over a civilised meal and glass of wine (only 1 each ) to discuss each other's lists so you can figure out if this is just a rough patch you can work through or something that is more sinister? When DH and I are having blips we always find it helps to be reminded that despite being so angry at each other there are things about each other that we still love and there is still hope so we can work through it. Hope the crazy Bonsoir thread cheered you up. Also for a feelgood feel read the childbirth thread about StellaMel being snowed in and in labour (she was the one whose idiot DP wanted to go off motorbiking through Afghanistan and other war zones) - made me fell all warm and fuzzy inside reading it last night. Hope the snow shifts so you can get DD1 to school, bed in your house and to the airport for Friday.

LittleSez - glad Izzy is on the mend and those evil teeth have finally broken through Another rubbish night last night thanks to runnybummed DS1 and teething Danny. Oooggs - I take my hat off to you with 4 kids - sleep must be non-existent in your house at times! Sounds like skipping nursery was a wise move...

KBN - our school is closed due to lack of teachers (living in deepest darkest Essex/Kent and struggling to get it). Also on Tuesday when it opened there was no heating at all in the nursery building so DS1 and the 59 other nursery kids (there are 2 nursery classes) all had to go into the main school building lower hall for the morning. Accordingly to my nanny it was absolute chaos with small kids wailing left right and centre - however (proud mummy alert) DS1 was a trooper and not phased at all, and even went and cheered up one of his little friends from the downstairs nursery who was wailing by giving him a hug and taking him off to play with some cars.

SilveryMoon - missing you and hoping you get back on soon.

Pinktulips - hope A's sleeping is back to normal now!

hi dinky thanks for your kind and sensible words. You are right about the counselling and mediation being no use to me now Funnily enough, I had thought a few weeks ago about DH and I writing down how we feel. Just not sure he would agree as 'he doesn't have a problem'.
I think one of the worst things is his really short fuse. He was shouting at H last night for not going to sleep (stupid bloody idiot) and just now is shouting at G for getting in his way. He is trying to put together a new bed in DD1's room and of course G wants to 'help' but is bugging him. Wish he'd stop shouting, it really gets me down.
Speaking of which, have just been to the doctors. Saw a new gp there who was lovely. Didn't really know what I was going to say when I made the appointment but it all came spilling out going back from when I first found out I was pregnant, the shock of it, the awful pregnancy, CS, mums death, FWs recent behaviour etc. GP then went through a questionnaire with me and apparently I scored very high as having depression! It had been mentioned as a possibility by FWs company doctors in KSA but FW dismissed it. Have now got 3 months worth of 'happy pills' so hopefully they will help.

Also had a contraceptive injection as I know that has been a big issue. I can't take most types of pill due to DVT history and have been terrified of falling pregnant again. (fell with H when on less reliable form of pill!) That is 3 months protection so the way I see it, I have 3 months to make a decision regarding my life and where I want it to be.

I have to thank all you lovely ladies for being there for me and listening to my whinging over recent weeks/months.

{{{hugs}}} mos. i hope the pills help but it seems unlikely they'll magically turn FW into a decent human being. hopefully feeling well will help you make a decision that you're happy with. you know we're here if you need to rant/vent/cry/whatever

A has shoved out another tooth so that might explain alot of the recent sleep issues. he's having trouble shutting down for daytime naps though as he's so busy practicing his walking and playing with the older two... hopefully when they're back at school he'll get more quiet time and be easier to settle. although at this stage lord knows when the school will be open again... currently they're saying monday but as the weather is supposed to last another week i'm not convinced!

mos... dd had no teeth at all until the week of her 1st birthday when she sprouted 8 in 2 days

oogs, the last couple of times i left A with dp he had goats milk... there's no way he'd take formula at this stage.. i remember dd rejecting the taste and he's used to goats in his cereal so i figured a cup or two while i was out wouldn't hurt.

Snowtulips nice seasonal change (again)
Maybe I should grind the pills up and put them in his coffee?

Another tooth . God 8 in 2 days sounds hard going. I'm pretty sure I can see one almost popping out, reckon it will be here tomorrow.

Hi guys! I have been snowed in at my mums since monday and off home today as have a lift in a 4x4. well we came here with 3 and a half teeth and we are leaving with 6 and one just coming through! What a week.

I have missed hubby so much its unreal shhhh dont tell anyone but he said he slept with Isobella's blanket

MOS maybe write down all the things you love about him? could give you the answer

DOES ANYONE KNOW WHAT I COULD PUT ON IZZY'S CHEEKS? They are bright red and gone dry and look sore think form teething?

xxx

Littlesez - must be a relief to be returning home! Good luck with the drive...Danny more often than not has red little cheeks due to the cold and teething. The key is to lock in the moisture - do you massage Izzy after her bath? If you do, when you're massaging do it when she's still abit damp and rub her cheeks with the oil and will help lock in the moisture. Otherwise I would suggest maybe an organic baby balm to sooth dry skin?

Little, Hope you've made it home safely, wow at 3 teeth in a week. When C was born he had a bright red chin and one doc suggested E45 cream - to moisturise - which worked a treat.

MOS, hope things get better for you.

I couldn't take C out to groups yesterday as found out one was cancelled and thought other would be, so I spent hours in the shed, digging out a baby walker for C - then my dad came by briefly and we picked the boys up from the CM early so they could have a couple more hours in front of the TV at home instead of at hers, but it was quite nice. Still, I've said to my boss that I will change my leave if groups all end up being off again (will take Tuesday next week if there's something fun to do that day).

SM belated birthday wishes for yesterday, sorry I forgot then Hope you had a lovely day and sort your laptop battery out soon.

littlesez wow at all those teeth. Very sweet of your DH and the blanket
Good idea writing down what I love about him. Think I have a very small post it in my handbag
I'd use E45 or maybe vaseline on cheeks if really bad

elkiedee what a pain about groups being cancelled. Its daft how everything just shuts down here for a bit of snow. We should be prepared for it by now

Hi all.
Had a quick catch up.
Dp managed to get charger working so we are never turning this thing off again!!
But the actual reason I haven't been around much is because I've been in hospital for a couple of days with a kidney infection. They kept me in until my temp dropped and my pulse slowed.
Glad to be home now. There was a proper loon on the ward who would yell all night and keep everyone awake. Last night I told the senior staff nurse that I felt like a prisoner of war being punished with sleep deprivation. They finally sedated her at 10pm last night. Is very because she really should be in a unit that can actually look after her.
But, I am feeling a lot better, just need to take it easy.
I am now oing to de-fluff as a few unexpected days in hospital means I am now quite hairy

sm - glad you are back and hope you are feeling better at the 'loon' not fair on her or the rest of you

mos - thinking of you and hope things are improving

dinky - you always give really sound advice

elkie - I'm sick of grops being cancelled as well. This morning I invited a few to my house instead. Still got to see people but I didn't have to drag mine out

littlesez - so sweet of dh. On Izzys cheeks I would go for E45 or a baby moisturiser/oil

Snowtulips - hope A has settled a bit and you are all getting some more sleep

We are having 'Christmas Day' on Sunday. Huge roast dinner and presents well the children are. MIL is down from Barton (nr Hull) so we are doing it all again.

Anyone else suffering with very dry hands? Mine are sore and sometime bleed

Littlesez, Lansinoh is magic on dry skin.

littlesez That is so cute about your dh and Izzy's blanket
mos I hope the pills kick in soon and help to clear your mind a bit.
oooggs Your career break sounds the best option.
littlesez I try to keep the rain cover over the pushchair when we're out to protect them from the wind, but sometimes I use a bit of vasaline on Luke's face

oooggs It was quite sad with this lady, because although it was very annoying, it's not her fault and some of the staff were really rude to her, it was quite shocking. One nurse said to us (openly in the room) "I'm on until 8:30 tonight, but I won't be in here much, I can't put up with her all day" I mean, that is really bad isn't it? That made me quite angry actually.

Our group has said they might not open next week. It's just a joke isn't it? Why can't anyone just get on and deal with it? I don't remember my school closing for a bit of snow

Silvermoon - the career break thing brings a different type of guilt. Luke won't have the same start as the rest of them as the nursery is fantastic, changing dts to a local pre school which is term time only which is great for them but then in the holidays ds1 doesn't get time on his own.

The parenting lark is full of guilt from start to finish and my head is spinning. No idea why I am fretting about it (may just be about making changes) as my break has been approved so it is happening and no going back.

Therefore Luke won't be going as he has been removed from the waiting list and as not working I can't afford for dts to stay there (even though they are entitled to until they start school) so they will leave at end of March when my pay stops which is perfect timing to start new place as that is when they turn 3.

Sorry but I had to get that down as my head is spinning to whether I have made right choices/decisions.

sorry I spelt your name wrong, LLB was much easier

yes very sad, poor lady, poor state of affairs

oooggs Yes, there is always alot of guilt no matter what we do, but IMO/E each child has quite a different start to life than the last anyway don't they?
I was thinking and talking about it earlier actually. Ds1 was born an only child. I had 100% time to give him 100% attention. I could sit there and hold him all day and it was lovely.
Luke however, was born a younger brother so therefore has never had 100% attention, has never been held ALL day, has never been held for a 2 hour nap and tbh, has been left to find his own way a bit iykwim. The result, is that he is doing things like standing and cruising a bit quicker than Jacob did.
There are pros and cons to each situation and where your Luke may not get the same benefits as the others from attending nursery, but he will get benefits that the others haven't from getting that 1 on 1 time at home with mum.
At home with parent vs attending nursey equals different benefits doesn't it?

yes you are right (I just need to be told reminded)

James had 100% of everything for 3.3 years, Erin and Jack have had to share everything, including tummy space!! at least Luke will get time to do different things like swimming (something I couldn't manage on my own with twins) and I may even do crafty bits . Having them on the same site as the school will be great once we get going.

Morning all. Lovely to see you back SilveryMoon but sorry to hear you've been back in hospital with kidney problems - hope you're fully recovered now and no longer ressembling Chewbacca

Oooggs - I suffer from dry hands - Neutrogena norwegian formula is a god send. I also find including lots of Omega 3 in diets or supplements helps my skin out. No matter what you do as a mum you suffer from guilt - your plan for the next 3 years for L, the twins and DS1 sounds really well thought through and sensible. The person it is going to be hardest on is you! The DTs will probably love being at preschool where their big brother is and feel really grown up starting at preschool - and I bet you they'll love it there within a month of starting. Its great that they have each other too. And you'll have some lovely quality time with Luke while he's still little.

MOS - hope your flight is ok and not hampered by the snow. MIL has said its a blizzard down in Brighton at the moment -hope the weather is better over your way.

Went out with DH to La Clique at the Roundhouse last night which was brilliant - then got home and was faced with poorly Danny (DS1 thankfully better now - went to preschool on Friday and they had their belated xmas party - he was overjoyed) who was awake between midnight and 5am this morning crying and demanding attention. Am shattered and immensely thankful that the snow has caused the running class I was meant to be joining today to be cancelled...

Hope you all have a good day.

Thanks dinky I've spent most the day in bed because I still feel so run down really. Dp is a bit annoyed and thinks they wouldn't have sent me home if I was still unwell. Try explaining to him that they didn't send me home to put my super-hero outfit on and be wondermum did they?!
I hope Danny has a better night tonight. I really don't know how you do all of that and still go to work! I think you're amazing. If I had some of the nights you've had I'd struggle to get dressed!

I do feel a bit sorry for dp. He has got to go to work tonight and do a 10 hour shift, so it is a lot to then have to have the kids all day, but I can't stand up straight, I hope the oral AB's kick in tonight.

silverymoon - hope you are feeling better, it is hard to schedule in feeling unwell when you have children to look after

dinky - you are right, by the middle of may everything will be settled and be the norm.

MOS - hope flights etc ok

will try that handcream stuff - they hurt and keep bleeding and my night out tonight was cancelled due to the weather

just seen an emirates flight to dubai was boarded by armed police after an apparent bomb threat by some passengers. i've an awful feeling that was mos' flight. if it was i hope it wasn't too hideous an experience and you're en route now.

thats not good katie mos hope everything is ok and you are winging your way 'home'

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Where did you see that?

bbc news website.

hope you're feeling much better SM. how were the kids while you were away?

link here