December 2007 - Not Quite Two, Already Terrible ;)

[claraquack]

Just checking that this worked....

i was ADAMANT that we would only have one.
guess i got over myself a bit.
and although we all know it's going to be harsh in the first year, and a bit grim in the first few months, a lot of the painful bits last time were about adjusting to motherhood and losing self/past/independence. most of that is happily dealt with now, so fingers crossed will only be a bit bonkers if we succeed!

Dundee 2 is much better tha 1 (although my reasons is because I am a lazy parent...2 entertain themselves).

Our bloody roofers seem to have fecked off somwwhere,,,at least we haven't paid them... well they didn't come yesterday and seemingly not today...still at least its quiet but I wat them finished before this baby turns up.

Ahh I must phone the midwife and the doctor as I need some more bp medication ...ahhhh I can't be bothered. Thank god I don't have some chronic medical condition ... all this phoning makes me feel quite stressed!

Hi all!

BT I would be hopping mad too! My eldest DS has mentioned FB but there is no way he's having an account until he is properly old enough! I would also be furious at any of my friends who put innappropriate stuff on their status after accepting him as a friend! Currently though I think he'd be painfully bored by it all...(he's 10). Great about Daniel's talking though! Its funny how they all of a sudden say loads!

Dundee A second baby is much easier to adjust to IME, I was so much more relaxed and enjoyed it all more. I think, like you say, that you have already gone through giving up independence and the other changes motherhood brings plus you are more confident having already done everything with DC1. Good luck!

Buzzy I don't get how he can leave her either, I just don't think men are as attached to their children as women are. For me, my children are a part of me and I don't think twice about planning things around them and such but DH definitely doesn't think/feel the same way about them! He loves them but still plans his own time to suit himself rather than them. I hope DD enjoys the horse riding though, it will do her good to have something lovely to do to take her mind off things.

Cazzy, ooh, nearly baby time! Have the builders turned up yet? Now I know how close Cambridge is would you be up for a picnic in a park or something later in the school holidays (baby permitting)? I think you are doing well to get any sucess with Evie on the potty front, I can't get my Evie to go at all! She woke up this morning, very full bladder (dry nappy despite 2 beakers of milk and one of water just before bed), I sat her on the pot and applied gentle pressure (as instructed by health visitor to help her recognise the feeling of letting it go) - nothing. She has the bladder of a camel I'm sure! Am going to Cornwall for a week in August so think I might wait until I'm home to try properly

Clara, I am not in Colchester but only about 20 minutes away in Sudbury, I used to work in Colchester before the DCs but mainly office type work - nothing so interesting as working for a paper! Have you moved now? Hope it went well!

Skid, DS2 had a flat head too although his was flat on one side as his head was always turned that way. He had to have his neck checked as they suspected the ligaments may have been shorter in one side (hence why he always turned his head that way) but all was fine and they were not concerned about the flat spot. His head is just about normal shape now and any oddness is well hidden by his hair! I was advised to give him lots of tummy time and it started to sort itself out as soon as he was sitting up.

We had DDs 2.5 year check last week... she is 98th percentile for height and 91st for weight! Bless her, she seems to have grown loads lately! Trouble is that because she is tall and talks well people assume she is 3 or 4 and expect her to behave older than she does

Clara have just been looking at my friend's hol pics and realised that she went to St Lucia and she has pics of her dc's on the pirate ship thing you linked to with the pic of your dd1

Hi dundee, good luck ttc

BT sounds v annoying, surely he is too young for fb anyway, especially to see innappropriate stuff if that's what she has on there.

Beckle at least your dd is dry in the morning. DD is still soaked every morning. I try not to stress about it becuase I know it's normal to still be wet at night at 4 but none of her friends are still wearing nappies and with her still having accidents in the day it does make me worry a bit. Think ds will be dry at night before her, his nappy is less full than hers now anyway. And we were out all day on Monday with preschool, dd had 3 accidents, ds had none

Beckle - potty training is a no go here - Ds has nappy rash because he never tells us he has done a poo, so we don't always spot it straight away - it's easy in the house because I notice pretty quickly but it is not always so noticeable when he is outside! And I will ask him if he has done a poo and he always says no! I honestly don't get why he does tell us - it can be comfortable for him!

Tomorrow I am off to Liverpool all day, won't be back until after DS has gone to sleep!
I am going to Shop Direct's HO (who i provide call centre services for). Really looking forward to it

I emailed DH's aunty who has said she will defriend DSS. I pointed out that she had posted something that was very inappropriate on her page (link to shagging people on Google Earth) and he can access it. She is going to ask DH's cousins' to do the same.

I'll bet DH will get loads of grief of his ex

Hello all,

been having a diaster with our broadband and its still being flakey! I've missed chatting to you guys

cazy - hope you manage to get some time to relax now you are maternity leave

beckle - my ds2 is bug for his age too - there is 18 months between him and ds1 and they share clothes and ds2 has bigger feet it didn't help him being potty trained just before he was 2 as people always expect more of him, I got told off in park the other day by another mum when he tantrumed about another child touching his scooter, she said he 'should have grown out of that by now' ffs he's 2.5yrs and my 4 yr old still gets possessive, I don't think she believed he was only 2!

dundee - number 2?!?!

my news is I'm back on anti depressants but now feel great, happy to take them as long as need to, I'm definitely enjoying being a mum again now. I've also had to take some horrible horrible medication to stop my milk (I gave up breastfeeding at the end of Feb but my body refused to stop producing milk I've been leaking since) I finish it tonight and I'm hoping it works, it lowers your blood pressure and makes you feel sick but should be worth it if I 'get my body back' at long last

oh and work refused my flexible working request am trying not to get to worked up by it all but I'm losing a day with ds2 and ds3 and paying more childcare, still trying to work out a solution but they have a pretty strong business case and I was kind of looking forward to doing some work again (I feel guilty even saying that ) so I don't think SAHM is for me....

anyway off to read a few more posts to see what I missed x

HELP!!

Hi Insy

Good luck to you all TTC!
Cazzy I think there's another Dec07 due very soon - was it suey? How're you enjoying the school hols?
Hi Insy - I think you wanted to go back 3 long days? What have your work offered you?
Where's DrSkid?
BT, hope you had fun in Liverpool!
Beckle - DD1 has always hovered around 98th %ile for height too and it is a pain that everyone assumes they're older. I especially remember her lying on the floor of a shop when she was about 3 or 4 and getting disapproving lokos from people who assumed she was around 6!
Clairey, have posted on your other thread, not sure how much help tho.
Poor DD1 came back from her Dad's tonight very sad. It will be the last night she spends in his house for a long time. He flies out next Wed and she will spend that day with him. I don't think school will be a high priority for the next few weeks - or at least only as a way of distracting her. We have finally agreed a parenting arrangement which hopefully he will honour in terms of keeping in contact with her. She is desperate to Skype him the minute he arrives in the UK, but of course that won't be possible until they get set up.

FO - would love to help sounds like you have your hands full but I am having a hard time coping with just the one child who won't do as he is told, to the point that I end up screaming at him in the middle of town
I would like to skip the whole toddler stage now as I am just finding him unbearable, and I am losing my temper with him constantly because he just won't listen

Hello! I have missed you! Have been manically busy moving house (no internet for ages), then DS1 had (has) chicken pox, now DS2 is teething and miserable - SIGH so clairey and BT I am with you on being emotionally drained...

buzzy - your poor poor DD it is just so awful

oh no I have to go! AAAAAgggh, more soon

Hey there DrSkid, nice to see you. Tell us more about how the move went!
Ex leaves tomorrow and just dropped around some of DD's stuff. I was expecting boxfulls but instead got 1 box of well-loved soft toys, 1 box of board games and a small cuitcase of unwashed clothes! Apparently he's given some stuff to his sister to keep at her place. I can only hope that the stuff is nicer as what I received was rather pathetic considering she's lived with him 50% of her life since she was 1 year old
Trying to be nice I wished him all the best and said I hoped the good-byes tomorrow wouldn't be too traumatic (thinking that surely he must be feeling SOMETHING) - to which his response was "she'll be OK - she's just got to get on with it"
I'm picking her up from his neice's house after he's left for the airport tomorrow evening. What can I possibly do to make tomorrow bearable for her???

Buzzy - your poor DD, how callous she is being treated I'm not sure what you can do except asking a huge fuss over her.

It does make me wonder if he is deliberately trying to emotionally distance himself from her because he doesn't think he is going to put the effort into see her.

Oh God buzzy, I don't know what can make it bearable - probably nothing. All you can do is be there and listen to her and be the rock in her life that you already are. Poor poor little thing - I can't believe what he said about her having the get on with it - he sounds really heartless

Buzzy how is your dd? Hope the goodbyes went ok and she is feeling ok.

Just had a lovely 5 days staying with my friend and her dd, she said it was a bit of a wake up call for her with the difference between having just one child and two or three-she found the constant "I want the pink cup, no I want it, it's my turn today" etc exhausting as well as not being able to compliment one child without having to reassure the others that yes they look pretty too, yes their picture is very good, yes their dress is as beautiful as the others etc etc. I don't even notice it now it has become so automatic to make sure everything is the same, equal or fair but she found it hard going!

And I survived two 5.5 hour, four train (inc underground), one bus journeys on my own with two dc, a buggy and enough stuff for a week Quite proud of myself!

Buzzy how is DD holding up? No ideas on how to make this all easier for her other than what Skid said, keep on being there for her like you are, understand she may lash out at you in her frustration or may shut herself away - just be there x

Clairey, that's impressive! It is very wearing trying to keep 2 happy, my boys bicker constantly some days and it exhausts me! Sometimes DD throws her bit in too but mostly (being that bit younger) she is not too involved - although at times she is the cause. At least I have DH to whinge at though, he does a good job of pretending to listen!

Glad I'm not the only one not managing potty training too! DD likes to try, insists on a clean nappy everytime she wees. She can have a really full bladder (she holds it for hours) and can't let it go. She's so cute though, she sits there and says "I'm 'laxing Mummy but the wee won't come out!" (I tell her to relax or she strains!)

I haven't started potty training, DS still won't sit on the potty - we have had one sat in our living room (and one in the bathroom) for weeks and he still refuses to sit on it.
Will keep trying and having some nappy off time.

Hi everyone - just quickly checking in. We're back in the UK, currently staying with my parents. DH has gone up to work in London for the week - I am also going up for the night on Wed (woo hoo) as I have an appointment with a researcher who is doing some research for the FCO on the effect of traumatic experiences overseas on spouses/families. Anyway I am just looking forward to a child-free night in London! Although I am also a little worried about leaving dd2 as she has been very unsettled at night since coming home and in particular has decided she is now officially scared of the dark....I am going to buy some little fairy lights for their room for tonight and see if that helps!

Buzzy - I hope your dd is ok, what did you do with her in the end the day her dad left? He does sound extremely heartless, I am going to give him the benefit of the doubt and hope he is emotionally distancing himself from her as his way of coping but still. Skype is great though so hopefully he will have that up and running still. When will your dd get to see him next?

Clairey - I read your other thread and wish I could wave a magic wand and make it better but I suspect that this may still have a lot to do with the split with H and the fact that you are having to do everything on your own now. FWIW my two can also play up terribly but I do at least have dh to fall back on - which makes it easier for me to cope. You're just not getting them breaks! Also dd1 is a year older than your dd and that year has made a huge difference. Hang on in there. Perhaps when she starts school (Sept?) things will get easier?

Skid - we moved house last week too, four days before flying home. I've had less stressful weeks! How does dd feel aboutu starting school in Sept?

Insy - I hadn't realsied you were on Antidepressants before? Was that after ds2's birth? Just out of interest, were you offered any counselling? If so was it any use/if not would you have liked to have been? I only ask because I am thinking of doing some counselling training and wondered about specialising in PND as I don't think there is enough offered for us. A friend of mine was offered it by a man who didn't have a clue...

Right gotta go as dd2 just covered herself in pen....

Hello,

Buzzy - sorry to hear about dd and her dad, how has it all gone? I think the advice on here just to be there for her is the best and probably all you can do x

skid - moved again? where are you now? my ds1 is also starting school in sept, clairey - is your dd too? he's gone from being really worried about it to not being able to wait, hopefully it'll still be exciting in Sept, I think I'm more nervous than him.

clara - enjoy your child free time and as for AD's I'm on... I took them when ds1 was about 6 months till he was 9 months (and I fell pregnant) - was told it was PND but this time round they think its all hormonal, long story short is I've never really had periods, I stopped bfeeding at the end of feb and still leaked milk for ages, so been on drugs to lower my higher than normal prolactin levels and then some other hormone treatment to 'balance' everything out, the anti depressants are more of a 'complimentary' treatment as I was starting to feel like I couldn't cope... in fact I wasn't, as such I haven't been offered any councelling, they basically think I've been ok because when I'm pregnant hormones are ok (and I've been pretty much continuously pregnant or breastfeeding for about 3.5 yrs!) and before then I was on pill to 'regulate' my cycle which in fact just masked the underlying weirdness of it all... I think I was doing ok until I stopped breastfeeding in Feb, I distinctly remember enjoying being with the boys around christmas time and then feeling like I was in a fog for no real reason

Have decided to change my talk name!

(It's BT btw)

Hello all, thanks for all your lovely messages. DD1 is doing OK. I took the day off on Friday to be with her and we couldn't have chosen a more perfect day weather-wise. She loved going horse-riding then we went to the zoo and she got to cuddle a dingo puppy (Australian wild dog). She definitely has her moments of introversion and sadness but as you say I'm sure there's much that will stop that and hopefully they will lessen over time. The last day with him sounds like it was OK until right at the end. I remain gob-smacked however that he could actually get on that plane. I suppose he must have been distancing himself for some-time. Probably helped along by the evil SM (I jest, in part at least...)

Anyway now we just get on with things and try and take advantage of the upsides - like the weekly horse-riding, which wouldn't have been possible under our previous "turn-about" weekly custody arrangement.

Hope you're all well. Any news cazzy?!

I'm glad dd1 had a lovely day

And it will get better in time, she has you and her sister and your mum and the rest of her family to love her and spend time with her

just spotted on facebook cazzy has had her baby! a little girl, she looks gorgeous, huge hugs and congrats!

oh I'm so !

Just saw that too Insy and gone all squishy inside! Lovely news - Congratulations Cazzy!

I'm glad DD had a lovely day too Buzzy, I saw the pic with the Dingo pup on your FB - its gorgeous! I'm glad she's doing okay too although I also, like you, fail to see how he could step on the plane I just don't think men are as attached to their children as women are. DH I'm sure sees them as part of his life but I see them as part of me.

Why the name change BT? Any special meaning? Glad I'm not the only one not potty training!

Clairey - my DS1 was still in night nappies at 4 too (and still had the odd accident) and some of my friend's DCs have been in them even later. Nighttime bladder control is a tricky one to learn and it just takes some longer than others to master it! DS2 on the otherhand was dry night and day at 2.3 he just refused to wear the nappies at all! They are all different and if you stress, they'll stress and it'll make it harder .

I am so excited, I have booked myself onto a one day photography course on Saturday! I am really looking forward to a day just for me (although it will be wierd being away from the DCs all day).