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AUGUST 2008 - One year on and you would think we would all be getting some sleep by now!

1001 replies

oopsacoconut · 15/09/2009 16:23

New thread!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
hotterpotter · 17/09/2009 10:14

I passed! Woo hoo

Hopefully back later to catch up and chat instead of workingbut just wanted to say thanks for all the good luck vibes and phew that theyu seem to be working again

cyteen · 17/09/2009 10:22

They obviously are - look, no bold!

Well done girly, it's a piece of piss innit

LoveBuckets · 17/09/2009 10:23

Happy birthday Seb, good luck HOts. Lentil £100+ I'm afraid, Crafter is a good make with good sound for the money. But if he's just starting out get a cheaper one, grownups are just as likely to give up as kids.

LOTI Sorry but the not making formula or changing nappies is absolutely unacceptable IMO. Until he does the basics, you can't expect much more really. Did you get paid for the work you did for him btw? You could try (if you ever get the time[wink) listing all the jobs that get done and the time they take, cutting them up into individual cards and getting him to sort them into 2 piles of you and him? He probably thinks that he gets the short end of the stick so this would be a good visual aid (to accompany stick up his bum.) He needs to ask himself where he would like himself and his family to be in 10yrs time and whether his current habits are taking him closer or further away from that.

TS Nothing wrong with a day of nothing but cereals once in a while. I bought both big kids gifts yesterday for settling in nicely back at school and introduced hers to Daddy with 'so she's not going to cry in the mornings anymore.' Just a little cuddly toy (DS1 had fallen in love with the iconic Ikea heart-with-arms cushion.)

Tuesday night was crap, had another self-medicating cock-up. Took Anadin Extra for my tonsils forgetting it had caffeine! Hours of freezing in bed and wondering why I was wide awake still. Then took some herbal sleepers and just felt drunk each time Kurt woke (he has a cold.)

But Wednesday night was great!!! Went for impromtu dinner at community cafe with 2 friends then on to Ukulele Jam showcase night (just watching and singing along.) Knew loads of people, got to chat to my sexy neighbour's v cool wife again who I really want to hang out with. Honestly this couple make me feel like a spotty teenage limpet they are so cool and I wanna be in their gang!

miamla · 17/09/2009 11:18

oh buckets, can't imagine you being like an uncool limpet but know exactly what you mean!

well done HP now get back to work!

hmm, can't remember what else i was going to write and the messages are on the previous page...

miamla · 17/09/2009 11:21

cyteen your DP does sound amazing! mine's good but he does need a little push/reminder sometimes

miamla · 17/09/2009 11:21

noooooo its all gone bold again!!!!! my eyes!!!!!!

miamla · 17/09/2009 11:32

i know its only while i've got crutches, and i know its not doing DS any harm but i feel so guilty about him spending some much time in his travel cot/play pen/cage at the moment
He's happy, especially right now..he's worked out how to undo his poppers on his babygro (i know, i haven't even got him dressed yet, i'm still in my pyjamas too) and he's trying to do them up again! there's more 'undoing' than 'doing' though!

cyteen · 17/09/2009 11:59

Gah, the bold is back!

Miamla, where my DP sometimes benefits from gentle nudging is noticing things like washing up left undone. Just so you know he's not a saint!

TwilightSurfer · 17/09/2009 12:16

Lucky I've got words but time is short so I'll be back in about 6 hours to share them. Apologies but it's school run for both and pilates and errands...well you get the picture.

gone

miamla · 17/09/2009 12:17

DP came home yesterday moaning that he was coming back to a dump. when i 'politely' pointed out that we'd had two babies playing with all the toys in the morning and that my carrying/tidying capabilities were some what hampered at the moment, he changed the subject! he has since apologised and he cleaned the kitchen before he left for work

RedLentil · 17/09/2009 13:22

A learner? .

He was the bass player in the Wigan band of the year, 1988, as chosen by the local music reporter, Stuart Maconie. Their best song 'Pie' contains the line 'In the pie of life, you are the crust.

It took 5 years for him to tell me the band name: 'Those Naughty Corinthians.'

And they supported Ocean Colour Scene.

Rock and 18thC poetry. That man knows how to mix it up a little.

Also, BitofFun clicked on my profile recently and said he was quite fit. I was unreasonably happy about that.

He has faults, but twould not be in the birthday spirit to list them ...

Buckets, I think you are cool, and will be your groupie if you like.

TwilightSurfer · 17/09/2009 13:43

Lucky from my vantage point I see things as being one of two ways: either your dh is completely lost where caring for females is concerned (which makes me wonder if he'd be walking a different path if you'd had a boy child) OR your dh is just one of those guys who has his lovelys (which is why you were attracted to him) but isn't considerate of others. Either way, a family is a process and a togetherness. He seems to be your roommate (with benefits I'm sure). Does he realize his disconnect with you, the girls, the home and the family as a whole? Not that a fight would help but a chat with loving intentions. You do need time to step out of mommydom occassionally. He needs to be the loving partner and give you that moment. In our community we have a program for father's through FIRST THINGS FIRST. Here is a link to the website. I contains useful information that might help you (and him) find a common ground and a better relationship.

SazzlesA · 17/09/2009 13:53

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cyteen · 17/09/2009 14:02

Absolutely, don't they still owe you a bunch of flowers?

SazzlesA · 17/09/2009 14:07

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VintageGardenia · 17/09/2009 14:29

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alittlebitshy · 17/09/2009 14:29

Oh no miamla I should have tidied. Sorry sorry sorry.

LoveBuckets · 17/09/2009 14:32

LOL Lentil, he'll probably turn up his nose at anything you buy then!. But if you can afford it, Crafter are generally well-respected, my DH's favourite accoustic is one (he won't tell me how much it cost.)

My DH is v well-trained, innately kind and thoughtful (apart from the usual male default solipsism setting) and also doesn't see the point of having kids if you're not going to aim for 50/50 as much as you can. He also knows which side his bread is buttered (how many wives would forfeit a playroom for a Mancave?) and from experience he has found that no matter how hard you work at work, working on your marriage and family pays more dividends and helps you cope with the workstress better. This is v hard I think though, men are so singleminded it must be so hard to pull your head out of the work cloud. Took a breakdown for DH to learn to detach himself enough to cope at work.

luckoftheirish · 17/09/2009 15:58

thank you for all your kind words ladies.. all i seem to do is moan atm...

i absolutely adore dh and that is probably my problem, i have let him get away with murder for 8 years so trying to change him now is so difficult...

he just seems to live on a different planet.. still loves his nights out at least once usually twice a week, plays footie on sats, goes on at least 2 jollie boys trips a year, and when he comes home from work tired, cannot wait for the girls to go to bed...

that said he loves them completely just cannot handle the day to day trundle of life...

any how... well done sazz!!!! i hope that you enjoy this little extra time and when you go back in Jan there is a more suitable position closer to home for u..

Thank u ts as always for your lovely words of wisdom..

Yeah hp on passing

waves to everyone else

SazzlesA · 17/09/2009 16:02

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luckoftheirish · 17/09/2009 16:09

Sazz I'll take any advice , plans on offer!!!!

miamla · 17/09/2009 16:38

ALBS don't be daft! mum has popped round this afternoon and offered to tidy but i told her there was no point til DS in bed! DP just had a boring day at work so was in a bit of a grump when he came home!

TwilightSurfer · 17/09/2009 16:55

Where's the Live Band??

So much for a day of running errands and having some "me" time. Reese cried at drop off so I quickly drove to pilates then drove back. She was asleep by the time I got back. I decided to scoop her up anyway. She needs me today so I guess I'll be happy with being needed and park myself with her. We might pop over to dd1's school for something in a few.

Lucky I'm so glad you aren't hurling tomatoes at me. I worried over my choice of words all the way to pilates and back. Somebody else made the point better by calling it single-mindedness. I meant what I said, any time you want just hop a flight over and I'll work some magic to get you some "me" time while you children are well cared for.

My human eating machine is fast a work today. NonSTOP!!

Decorating Question: Is yellow the best color for a bathroom?

TwilightSurfer · 17/09/2009 16:58

Miamla I'm glad DP has settled. I was going to lend my service via conference call to straighten things out...point out the obvious handicap!

TwilightSurfer · 17/09/2009 17:00

30 minutes of pilates and i'm aching. I think I've found a few muscles I didn't know existed. The thought of 1 hour 5 days a week might be too much starting in October. Right?

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