Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

Oooh there is a sleep thread? I might join you if this doesn't work.

Just running in to say that I haven't fallen down a big rabbit hole, I have just been variously rowing (I mean arguing, not rowing on the machine which would have been a better use of my time) and dashing to London because I had a meeting yesterday, and being taken out for a posh lunch today by DP who is genuinely trying to make up for the weekend, I think. There's loads I want to say to different people and I will do a long post either late tonight or early tomorrow morning, but for now - keep your chin up Trace, you are doing a brilliant job on an impossible amount of sleep - and you somehow manage to be so wise as well - and I have said it before, but what a totally cheering thread this is, hurrah for it. Oh and dear Beans - DD STILL not crawling, but I was thinking of binding her legs until we move anyway as we haven't really got the space for her to be mobile ]

Evening All,

Welcome back from your hold JJ. Glad that you had fun and also that your DH got a chance to see how hard 24 hour child rearing is. When do you start back at work?

Nice to see you Beans. I am sorry that you have had a few hard moments with your DH settling into life as parents. I do think Trace's description of being parents and partners was so brilliantly true. It is such a change, particularly for women, and big change is HARD.

MoM - me periods are doing on things too. I hadn't had a hint of anything until we were in Turkey where, spotting my bikini wardrobe and plans for a week in the pool, my AF came out of hiding. For 24 hours I had a horrendously heave flow and then, bam, that was it. All over. Not a spot has been since. I use to have a pretty average flow but over five days. V odd.

Sorry to hear about poorly little Veggies and Kiwis. I hope your households get better nights tonight.

Nice to see you PMK. I hope your having fun TTC . My DD2 loves electrical wires too. She particularly loves chewing them...

Well girls I am really enjoying being back at work at the moment. I love getting up and playing with the girls for an hour, then putting on a nice smart suit and heels and heading out to the office where its all peaceful and quiet and people actually listed to what I say! Then I love coming home in the evening and arriving back to two fed and washed and pajamaed girls and snuggling up with them on my bed for cuddles and stories before bed. I feel refreshed and like I can handle anything that the girls or work throws at me because neither of them are asking for my all. The new nanny seems to be working better. DD2 seems quite happy now, and some of my local friends who have seen then nanny out and about with the girls, report that they all look happy and that DD2 seems very attached to the nanny. So hopefully things are looking up. The only think I feel quite awkward about is that the nanny keeps cleaning the house - hoovering, dusting, scrubbing. She is not paid to do this and its not in her contract. And I rather thought the house was in good order . I admit this is not a bad problem to have in the greater scheme of things but I always need something to worry about....

Blood iPhone keypad. I am not really illiterate!

AAGGGGHHHHH. Bloody iPhone keypad!!!!

Kayz that is spooky. Looks like the kids have come up with the goods against west brom.

Kiwi, babypanda is so beautiful! How big are those eyes, you could get lost in them. Enjoy your last couple of days of you fav city. Any closer to moving there one day.

Urbane hope the nanny interviews go well and well done on the job thing, so heartening to hear a good work return story after all the just terribly unfair and discriminant stories we've been hearing of lately. Finally a boss knows the good thing they've got in you.

Arti how on earth does your nanny get time to look after the girls, taking them out and about AND clean your house!? I'm pleased to hear they are loving her and how happy you sound. Not sure what to do about the cleaning, I have to say I'd be quite fine with it, but you could just remind her it's not in her contract.

Lady I read the first sentence of your post a little too quickly and thought you had fallen down a rabbit hole. I was thinking you had gone out for a walk in the countryside and done your ankle or something. Either that or you were dabbling in Quantum physics. But on rereading I saw you were just explaing you had not fallen down a rabbit hole. Sorry about your rows, hope lunch was nice. Does it work as an apology though, does he see what needs to happen to go forward?

Hi everyone, I?ve read and re-read all the posts about relationships, especially Trace?s post, as we too don?t seem to know who we are from one day to the next. There?s no romance between DH and I (although what did I expect ? marrying a farmer ), but more than anything right now I value the companionship we have, and the endless self congratulation we share on producing such a beautiful and delightful DD. Although I long for a 'date' with DH and to be a couple again, if only for an hour. Saying that, we?re going away next week for 2 days/1 night and leaving DD for the first time. I?m very excited, but worried that we won?t have any conversation other than DD and we will feel like strangers when alone

LadyT I?m pleased to her your DP is making an effort this week, I hope that it gets things heading back to normality (if you can even remember what that is, I don?t think I can anymore). But Veggie seems to have it all sorted and has found the perfect parenting/romance balance

Mom I had a bit of spotting yesterday for the first time, so I?m expecting a period soon. Have been expecting it for a few weeks though, since I?ve dropped down to just 2 BF?s a day. Despite that, I was still a little shocked to see it and felt like I was 13 again and unsure what to do

I also don?t have a crawler, well she managed about 3 ?steps? on Sunday night. She?s determined to do it properly though, no commando crawling on her tummy, she rocks and rocks on her hands and knees but just can?t get the forward motion. She shows no inclination to stand or walk at all, but is a very effective roller

Sorry to hear of your friend?s loss Effie Trace we too have had one good week of sleeping through, although I will admit that our bad nights (3 wakings) are not a patch on yours and you would probably count them as a good night, as would some others on here. I was really quite annoyed by the HV today, as I was talking to her about sleeping, and me coping ok now but wanting to sort it before I return to work. Her response ?it?s normal for BF babies to not sleep through for at least a year, so you?re not alone?. And then nothing else, no hints or suggestions on how to help DD to sleep better. And again, I broached with her about dropping DD?s bedtime and night BF?s and get her onto formula for all feeds, as I?m not enjoying the BF as I used to. And again I got told ?but many people do BF up to and beyond a year, so its fine to keep going?. Grr, I know its fine to keep going, but I feel that I?ve done enough now and so for me it?s not. Sorry, have turned the topic from your sleep into my rant in the space of a few lines. I hope you have a better night tonight. Is it your day at home with P tomorrow?

Great news on the job Urbane, when do you go back? And Arti, I really enjoyed reading your post about having the best of both worlds at the moment. I?ve always thought that I?d want to be a SAHM, and I don?t think there?s anything I enjoy more than spending my day playing with DD, but the closer it comes for me to go back to work, the more I am looking forward to using my brain and having conversation about something other than puree, crawling and napping

DD has had a very sleepy day today, she didn?t nap at all yesterday (a long, hard day ...) so I expected her to be a bit tired. But bless her, she woke at 5 for a feed as normal and then came into my bed for a cuddle and snooze until a reasonable get up time. She fell fast asleep and didn?t wake again til gone 9 . I couldn?t possibly get out of bed, in case she woke and rolled off, so I grabbed a book and had the longest lie in and read since she was born ... bliss . And then when she woke, she opened her eyes, looked right at me and gave me the biggest smile, just like I?m the best thing ever to wake up . So after her mammoth sleep I thought she wouldn?t possibly nap today, but by lunchtime she was so tired I had no choice but to put in her cot as she could hardly keep her eyes open, where she slept for an hour, and then again she slept for another hour this afternoon. So unlike her, as I count myself lucky if I get 2 half hour naps, I?m a little concerned she might be coming down with something, but she?s been on great form otherwise so I guess she just needed the catch up. Tomorrow is the weekly bonding session with my Mum ? how many tantrums do you think DD will throw this time? Night everyone x

morning
zj it sounds like your hv had potatoes in her ears when you were talking to her. silly lady. hope you can find someone more constructive to talk to. Does she have her formula in a cup? Hope the bonding session goes well.
arti it was so lovely to read your post and I'm so pleased for you that you're having to look for things to worry about, rather than being squished by worries all round . So glad that dd2 is warming to her new nanny. I said 'so' too many times then.
kayz how was the sleep last night?
and wg - anything to report on the sleep front?
Yesterday when I picked P up from nursery the staff were laughing because she is such a gannet! Apparently when the other babies were eating their snack, P crawled around under all the high chairs gathering all the bits that fell to the floor and shooving them in her little mouth This was after she'd had her snack! She obviously has her mother's apetite (says she, who went to the chemist this morning and accidently bought a large chelsea bun from the bakers while she was out )
Veggie I took your advice and when P woke up at 9.30 I gave her calpol. She eventually settled around 10.30 then slept till 3, so maybe she is suffereing with teeth or something. She was really trumpy too so I guess she might have had tummy ache. Anyway that's her longest stint in ages so maybe we'll see some better nights soon. I'm toying with the idea of ringing the HV for advice, but I think I know really that she won't be able suggest anything we've not already tried. I think part of me wants to ring her just to have her acknowledge that it's hard and to say keep going, but that's just silly and selfish of me.
Well P is asleep so I ought to try to do the ironing while I have the chance, unless Arti's nanny fancies a quick trip up North to help me out?

hope you have good days....
xxx

Hello!!

Trace He slept all night again. I am so pleased. Hopefully it will continue forever now.

Hi all,

This thread always feels like its run away from me when I haven't been on for a few days...

Its been a bit busy here, we had a disastrous journey to Manchester last weekend to see the in laws - took a record 7 hours to get there and poor little DS threw up in the car. Otherwise the DCs were remarkably tolerant. The visit itself was long overdue but a bit stressful. The in-laws are somewhat elderly and set in their ways, with MIL getting very het up about meal times etc.

Work/home life has been busier all round. Sort of progressing slowly on the job hunt, but no real news there. It is more fun when its busier at work though - makes me remember why I like it, rather than wallowing in the crap stuff.

Sorry not to do a proper catch up, but also been interested in everyone's take on relationships and the effect that DCs have on them. I find that the big change is that once the DCs arrive life is much more about doing the stuff you need to do, just getting through the grind of the day and somehow there just isn't room for doing the fun stuff that made you a couple in the first place. I really miss things like all the cinema going DH and I used to do, or just having aimless evenings in the pub with DH and friends. Of course we can organise babysitting and go to see a film, but it isn't quite the same as when you randomly decide you fancy going out on the day...

Evening all, invis glad you feeling better about work but yukky yuk yuks on the long car trip. I was the car sick child in our family. hooray for sleep kayz and Trace, DS2 slept through to 7.30 this morning waking only briefly for a massive feed at 5.30.

ZJ sorry about the dirty eared HV, there is a push lately in HP/client communication to not always assume people want advice but may in some cases just want a listening ear and reassurance. On the other hand she may have had no idea or been in a lazy mood. On the formula front have a chat to SL as she changed over recently so could give the best advice. Sleep wise that is a load of crap about the BF it's the baby not how they are fed, and what a unhelpful statement, on one hand she is not telling about formula feeding, obv because she feels it may undermine BF (something she's professionally not allowed to do) and then she says that! Now if you were on your knees with tiredness it doesn't matter how commited to BF you are that would tempt you to swap to FF surely.

A question for anyone whose been on easy jet with LO's, do they charge for pushchairs in the hold. We are taking the quinny zapp to Sardinia which apparently fits on as hand luggage but I don't believe it, so it will prob go in the hold. We have paid for 2 bags in the hold but I don't want to use our hold allowance for a pushchair.

veggie, no they don't re easy jet. It's included. And you get to take them up to when you get on, you just leave them as you get onto the plane and they put them in the hold.

Invis: oh dear, DS1 gets carsick as well (as did I) so much sympathies. Now he's a little older we drug him give him the Joy Rider (?) tablets which are 3+ but were recommended by our pharmacist when he was about 2 1/2. They really seem to work and have the advantage of making him dozy.

Veggie: I thinkit was you who asked about DS2's inhaler? It was salbutomol but the doc did say it might not work. the steroids seem to have done the job for now. But now he's awakle again so need to go!

Thanks for all the v helpful advice re: my friend

Arti: I totaly agree re: having a home/work balance, I think if you can keep that (i.e. if work don't start heaping too much stress on you) it's ideal. The DSs haf a really good day at the cm's the last day I was back, I honestly think it's good for them as wel, esp DS1 who could use the extra stimulation. My only worry is that the cm(who is more used to girls) will decide she can't take the strain!

Trace and others struggling with sleep: I am with you on the middle of the night wobbles, only half-awake as I have given up on th cot for the time being soDS2 is in with us. Which did mean a rant at DH at 6am when he had the temerity to roll over just as I;d got DS2 back to sleep. Poor man. He has gone to Suffolk today to drink beer so I don't feel I need to be too repentant

Evening all. Veggie thank you for lovely words re DD, she has got huge eyes! Strange how someone can look so like their Daddy and yet be so cute

I'm in a bit of a state tonight re childcare - the nursery we were hoping to get DD into can't give us a place at the one nearest to us (and en route to train to work) but they can offer us one at their other location, which is a bit inconvenient as it's not near the train. About 30 mins walk or I suppose quick cycle (though I don't yet have a bike seat for her). She can transfer when they have space at the original one.

But I've just started having a complete wobble about my plans for working 4 days a week, mainly not bhecause of the number of days but because she'd be there so long. I'd have to drop her off at 8 and even if I request, and get, a shortened day, I can't really get back to her before 5. Do you think that's too long? Or am I just being silly? Would really appreciate all your advice. I think nursery is right for her over childminder or nannyshare because she's so sociable and loves other people, and I hope that the activies and business will distract her more at first from my absence.

Sorry for such a me me me post, but I suddenly feel really miserable about leaving her. She's been so lovely the last month when it's been all three of us together all the time, I feel like she just wants her mummy and daddy around!

Thanks for that SL. Good to know we have extra room now for other crap now. We are staying with a friends dad and will be spending time with all his family. He is quite a close friend and we have met his family over there a few years back when we stayed with them before we cycled around Sardinia. Our friend lives here but his dad obviously lives there and is just lovely and we want to get him a present to say thanks for lettin us stay but also to just show we like him but I can't for the life of me think what to get? The DS's are going to have a great time our friend has 6 siblings and he is the only one who doesn't have kids. There is a whole brood of them all under 6 so will be great fun. I'm quite excited because the best pizza I have ever had is at a pizzeria just a few minute walk from our friends father's house and the best gilateria is in Caglari not far away too. It actually makes a vanilla one that has chunks of natella in it!

Effie glad the croup has settled.

Oh sorry cross posted Kiwi. I'll be honest Kiwi I'm no use answering your nursery question as I put DS1 in nursery at 1 yr for 3 days a week. I lasted 1 month and couldn't cope with the drop off and rush to work then the rush home to puck up. In theory DH was supposed to drop him off but he worked away a lot do it fell on me. I worked 8-4 but if I had to drop him off that became 9-5 which meant with the usual overtime because something always happened just as I was due to go home (the rest of my team work 10 hrs shifts so they worked to 6) I often was the last to pick up at nursery at 6pm. My commute was 40 mins and was just so stressful because I was desperate to get to him. In the end more than half my wages went on his nursery so we decided it just was not worth the stress so we gave up. I think I'm a bit weak in that respect and just could do a stressful days work after a rushed morning getting DS1 ready and to nursery (with an emotional screaming farewell) following that day with a stressed trip home and a upset DS1 when I arrived back.

However, I have friends whose children have gone to nursery 5 days a week from 8-6 and they ate perfectly fine well adjusted and quite lovely little humans so I wouldn't so much think about what effect a long day at nursery will have on DD but more coping with the long drop off trip and commute. Sorry that is probably not at all helpful.

Sorry damn itouch clearly my friends children did not eat perfectly fine well adjusted little human beings, they are infact themselves perfectly fine..oh you know what I mean.

Dylan is asleep only took 5 minutes!!! Woooo

Yay Dylan and well done Kayz!

Kiwi - I have the exact same feelings re: nursery. I'm excited about the childminder we found, but very unhappy about leaving him. The reality of a London commute is that I will not be able to get to him until 5:00 at the earliest (like Veggie I hope that DH will be able to drop off, but he is often travelling too). I am working 4 days/week too and I had originally had grand plans of only leaving him in childcare for 3 days and somehow making up the 4th day somewhere....but since I have been trying to send a single email to work all week and haven't managed it, I don't think I'll be able to find a spare 8 hours anywhere! So I will be leaving DS with the childminder 3.5 days/week. Wednesdays at home with me, and Friday afternoons at home with me. I have thought about going down to 3 days/week, but I am being naughty and hoping I won't be there long before I can go on maternity leave again so hoping I can manage with 4 days in the meantime. Anyways, not at all helpful....but I'm in the same boat! The way I am thinking about it is that, if things aren't going well we can always make a change.

veggie lol
kiwi I understand your wobble because it is so hard to leave them. My dd1 did 4 years at nursery and LOVED every minute. DD2 started 2 weeks ago and seems really happy. DH drops her off at about 8.15, and whoever is back first picks her up, usually between 4 and 5. She is full of smiles and the staff have said she is already making friends with the other babies and seems to have a favourite - her and another baby girl stare at each other and touch each others' faces (which was probably a nice way of them telling me that P has been mauling the other one!). Anyway, I think each baby is individual and will have his/her own idea of how long they want to be in nursery for! Would you be able to do a few short days initially while she settles then build up to full days? I don't think 8-5 is too long in theory. P is in 4 days and I do miss her and look forward to picking her up, but it makes my weekends and my wednesdays super special and I love spending the time with her then even more . Although I must admit as dd1 got older I would sometimes leave picking her up till as late as I could so that all I had to do was take her home for bath and bed rather than having to play too Very Bad Mummy.
I didn't ring the HV about sleep. I think I'm feeling a bit 'on my own' since going back to work, just in relation to seeing other mums/ child workers etc at groups. I loved the under 1s group and tiny tunes, and used to get a lot of encouragement from being there. I guess I'm feeling like the time of going back to work and losing all the contact with groups is a time when I feel I'd like a little HV encouragement, but as P is no longer newborn there's no longer any real need for any input, so everything has gone and it's just me working stuff out as I go along. I don't think I'm making any sense. sorry!
Anyway must go and make packed lunches before I fall asleep [there really should be a yawn emoticon on MN]

I have a feeling I might be pg. I have strange stretching feelings in my pelvis that I have had with both boys in the early days. AF is due on Saturday.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh Kayz! Are you TTC now? Come on Saturday....

veggie your cannibal children made me laugh !

mom thanks so much, sometimes even just getting confirmation that others are in the same boat is great (lets hope they are both sleeping better by then eh??)! And trace that's really cheered me up, thank you. DD is a sociable little soul who often seems happier out in company than alone with me so I think that nursery should be up her street - just hope I'm right!