Dec 08 - 9 months in, 9 months out!

[jumpjockey]

Hope you don't mind the dodgy thread name but all our babies are 9 months old now or in the next few weeks

Meant to add.

Effie, I am really sorry to hear about your friend's DH. I think you could just say that you are here if she needs to chat.

Hi -

Effie thats so sad for your friend. How about some food/something practical ? When my mum died what I wanted most was just company.

I feel very jealous of those of you that dont have AF back fully. With both of mine I started on my full 24 day cycle not long after the boys were born - 10 weeks after for DS1 and about 12 for DS2, and both have been fully breastfed. I cant believe that effectively my body thinks its ready to go again so quickly !

Crawling - DS2 doesnt, either. If he was my first I might be worried but as he is the second I am glad he isnt mobile yet, I'm sure things will get much more difficult when he is ! Its hard not to worry but I think some babies just like to observe and some are physical, and more impatient.

Kayz, I'm sorry about the tax credits, I think it is really stupid too. I wanted to be a SAHM and I earn (a bit) more than DH, but our tax credits wouldnt change either, and we couldnt afford it.

LadyT I hope you are Ok and considering new career options. I think it is incredibly hard to keep the romance going in a relationship after the kids arrive. Sometimes I feel full of resentment and anger, sometimes just disinterest and sometimes I miss DH terribly, if that makes sense. I dont know what the answer is, but I do know that when I'm tired and stressed and upset then DH gets it in the neck even though he often doesnt deserve it. He gets nagged more than praised, dismissed more than encouraged, and now I can see this I make an effort to take a deep breath, think "Is this really worth stressing about" and then say something nice and give him a hug. Seems to be working for us. I also find (and this is a sad admission) that late night car journeys are great for conversation as 1) the kids are asleep, and 2) there are no distractions, and 3) no-one can escape the conversation

I hope the poorly babes are getting better. WG, I hope madam has turned a corner with her sleeping, it can only get easier now, surely ?

effie - meant to ditto njan - talking/food/company. and especially in a couple of months time when teh initial shock is over, and it looks like life is supposed to go on, but you still feel dreadful. i really liked going for long walks with friends, which allowed me to talk about trivialities, or deep things.

beans, njan, ladyt - yes yes yes about relationships. beans, i was almost in tears reading what you wrote about your dh and your relationship. it is tough work to keep things going, isn't it? dh and i really miss each other, even though we're with each other a lot. we miss our old selves. it's our wedding anniversary in the middle of october and every year we've been away for a posh minibreak. can't this year. the only person we would consider leaving madam with for a weekend is my dad's ladyfriend and she's not available.

Effie sorry about your friend's husband. REally not got any good suggestions as I am also crap at that sort of thing/knowing what to say, etc. I am sure most people feel crap at it though.

wg wahoo to the sleep and i hope it keeps up!!

ladyt sorry you are feeling fed up. The work thing is a funny one isn't it? I was on the phone to the bank this morning about house insurance, and they knew I had a baby but I had told them I was going back to work. And they said so what is your employment then, oh, you are a HOMEMAKER aren't you. I hadn't a scoobies what they were on about and then I realised that they meant Stay at home mum or whatever you want to call it. I don't know why but I felt a bit annoyed, it's partly because someone had earlier suggested I get a credit card with them and then said that I couldn't have one after all as I was on maternity leave (couldn't be bothered to argue as I didn't particularly want the bloody thing anyway). And because I had told her I was going back to work, so I said "well I actually have a job you know". But I guess my point is I was surprised by how annoyed I felt, it was partly I think because of the stupid term "HOMEMAKER", bloody hell if you saw my home you wouldn't think I was very good at it if that was my job!!
Sorry about the romance....what is it that is getting you down, is it lack of attention/thought/consideration from him or actual romantic gestures? DH and I are not big on the romantic gestures, but he is very considerate, so I won't complain.

Beans hello!!! Where have ya been all this time!?

on periods, mine hasn't come back and it is about 3 weeks since I completely stopped breastfeeding. Keep expecting it but not yet. Not up the duff though as I checked

Oh and veggie too much information on the bonking, tee hee. Only joking, you made me laugh!

hi njan I meant to ask before, the hospital you were talking about isn't Addenbrookes is it (post quite a while back?). They seemed to be quite pro pain relief when I was there.

DYLAN is asleep!!!! Woooooo!!

hello all, we're back! Had some lovely food, lots of great sunshine , a poo epic (4 in three hours including one on the B&B floor while DH dashed to the car to get more nappies ), and despite failing to sleep beyond 5am most days , dd charmed absolutely everyone, the little sod. I worked up the courage to drive the car a) at all and b) in a foreign country, then lost a wing mirror Some great catching up with old pals, plus met some great new people who will hopefully be there again next year.

Oh, and we left with 3 teeth and came back with 4!

DH finally got to see what it's like looking after her full time and while it's not good that he's ended up being tetchy and getting cross with her when for the 80th time she tries to pull a lamp on herself, at the same time he finally appreciates how hard it's been keeping sane, and realises that come the end of the day I'm not actually going to kill her, am just tired...

Right, off to bed now! She was up for the day at 4am [aaaarrrghhh) and we're utterly knackered. See you in the morning ladies and will catch up hopefully.

evening.
I'm back from the in-laws, the girls are asleep and my Chinese is going down nicely
Effie so sorry to hear about your friend's dh. I agree with what others have said about practical help. Also I find that when I don't know what to do/say I tend to be honest and say something along the lines of "I've no idea what to say to you or how to help, so please tell me what you do and don't want from me". For me that's better than trying to say the 'right' thing.
WG pass on our congrats to Madam for her good night. Here's hoping she does the same again tonight - or even better!
LadyT in answer to your question - no I don't think you should be worried about your relationship. Not in the sense that it's abnormal. But I think it is normal to be bothered by it, IYKWIM. I think if you are aware that things are different - even if it's bad-different - then you are on safer ground than if you hadn't noticed any change. I have found that if I try to make dh and I what we were, I am disappointed and frustrated, and I worry about our future because it feels like we failing to be 'us', but if I accept that we are both bound to change, both as individuals and as a couple, then it's freeing. We aren't the same 'us' as we were pre-children but we now share the amazing role of being parents. We have times when we feel just like a team where we get on and do what needs doing, other times when we're like house mates, co-existing with no hint of relationship, or even friendship at times. Then other times we're just pals enjoying yet another evening in, and then every now and then we're lovers. Not often. Although we were never like rabbits in the first place TBH (sorry if TMI!). I've found that the little things, like a little squeeze when doing the washing up, move us from housemates to more than housemates. Sorry I'm waffling and probably making no sense. What I'm trying to say is that it's normal for a relationship to change dramatically post children, and for a while you just live with it and focus on the tasks of the moment, but there comes a point when you both have to face the changes and work together on how you respond to them.
Veggie - you obviously have the romance thing sorted if you're giving your dh a birthday treat
beans P is crawling but won't put any weight through her legs so is not even pulling to standing, never mind walking with support. My dd1 didn't crawl until her first birthday. They just do things in their own time. Worry not
well I need ought to go and put some effort into my relationship, rather than MN all night .
Hope all babies behave well tonight...
night xxx

Beans - Not even a hint of crawling here and DS is now over 9 months. I think he won't bother...he gets onto his tummy from sitting and then just lies there like a beached whale shouting until I get him up. He just wants to stand and cruise (but can't pull up himself). If I stand him up on something, he will stay there for ages very happily. He is massive (12 kg!), so I think he just has too much heft to schlep around!

Jump - Welcome back!

Kayz - Yay for Dylan asleep!

Maybe my annual flow/trickle was just a false start as I am still fully breastfeeding(though haven't fed at night for over 6 weeks) but I had the cramps and associated misery so who knows. Had forgotten how yuck it is to have period cramps! I'm pretty sure that pregnancy is a scientific impossibility as I am straining to even think of the last time there was activity (but pretty sure I wasn't holding DS's hand at the time....ha ha Veggie)...though am now just realising it was 2 weeks before this spotting/non-period appeared. Couldn't be surely?? We have been very careful about wrapping up.

As I am now rambling about my sex life on the internet, should probably head to bed! Night all! Will be back bright and early I imagine as DS has chosen 4:45 for his wake up time for the last 3 days.

Mom I'm giggling about your wrapping up comment.

Trace believe me I really wasn't up for it in fact I fell asleep while he was brushing his teeth and taking his contact lenses out. But it was his birthday and well...you know. Trace you described relationships post baby perfectly.

Hello Jump NJAN & Beans lovely to hear from you. Glad France was so nice Jump.

WG hooray I'm genuinly so pleased about Madams sleep.

Effie Sorry about your friends DH. Several years ago a good friend was killed and his wife and I were quite close, I found that she quite appreciated a nice catch up and talking about our memories of her DH. We had a lived together at one time in my single years before meeting my DH and we had done some travelling together so lots of fun memories. I think she liked being able to talk about him in a fun light and not have to be looked on as the sad widow. She might just appreciate a catch up sometime.

Morning.

DS2 slept all night. He went to sleep at half 8 an has just woken up. I didn't though, I kept waking up.

Hope you are all ok.

Can you believe we are still talking about sleep 9 month on! DS2 had another very painful night, he woke at 2.20 4.20 and 5.30 each time screaming histerically in pain. I duly gave whichever pain relief I could at the time and took him for a little walk around while cuddling which seemed to help soothe him but he wouldn't take the boob all night as I think again his teeth hurt too much to suck finally at around 6 am he had a huge feed and fell asleep until nearly 8am. Of course DS1 woke up unbetween this time so I could sleep in but at least DS2 got a decent sleep. He is a bit chirpier this morning but is looking no where near a nap as he slept in so long. He is usually down by now so I've usually had my coffee by now. Think I will just give up and have it, I'll make a pot incase he needs to go for a nap halfway through.

Wow I missed or missed spelled a lot of words there. I meant to say DS1 woke up inbetween times so I didn't get to sleep until 8.

Hello
Beans it's been forever!!! I don't think i've seen you since that CJ meet up when we all filed in to the restaurant massively pregnant!! How are you? Do you still hear from Penny?
Lady very quiet from you, is all any better?
GREAT news about sleep Kayz!! Sorry about tax credit thing
Veggie house is good - have had dh baby and dog proofing things. We need to get a few more things but eventually! So much more space here - I often come downstairs and then go back up a million times as i'm not used to having such a big place! Can Leo go to Amsterdam with you for a year?

We have some very fast crawling here and some half kind of pulling up on furniture, but mainly just the tv so he can watch it 2 inches from the screen! He is obsessed with electical wires and and plants that he can batter until the leaves fall off!
Will quietly say his sleep is textbook... had the odd day of being upset and stirring in the night due to his teeth but typically sleeps 7pm to 6-7am ish and has a couple of naps in the day of anywhere from 40 mins to 2 hours each. He quite likes his new room too. But I know and am very thankful that he is like this as I suspect #2 will be a different story, so hopefully it will be in reverve for those of you having a hard time now. I do feel for you, as I remember the tiredness in the early months and to have that still continuing must be getting old....
Also has at least 7 teeth but some of them "halves" still!! I can see more wanting to poke through...
Someone was asking way back about ttc - still trying here but no joy, though guess it's only been two proper months of possible positive outcomes...
I'm back to work in December regardless..... But part time thankfully.
back later -

PMK, I hope your DC2 will not be like mine. DS1 was a brilliant sleeper and DS2 is awful really.

oh i'm almost certain....

I think DC3 might be a mix of the 2 somehow.

Right better get ready for work. I'm doing half 11 to half 4 and I'm all on my own. Boring.

Have nice days everyone.

Well hopefully he or she has DS1's gorgeous curls!

hi all.
I've just got back from vaccinating 360 girls! There were 5 of us so I guess we did 70ish each! I'm so tired though from yet another bad night with P. She actually seems to be getting worse. I was in tears in the night then had a dream that I cried on my HV, then when I arrived at work this morning (not in my dream!) 2 colleagues asked if I was ok and I had to use everything I had not to cry in front of them. We seem to be leaving her to cry for ages but in the end I go to her because we can't lie awake listening to her cry all night, and it feels like she would never stop if we didn't go to her. I'm at a loss. That beautiful week where she slept so well is just a distant memory now. One good week in 9 months Will she ever sleep? WG how is it going?
I'm off to go and pick the girls up now. Sorry to just pop on and moan then disappear.
will try to come back later in a better mood.
xxx

Ooooooh something wierd happened today. I was at work and a lady came over wearing the Jolly/Dec 08 Mums spotty Mac. She had a little girl in a pushchair and she was born on the 13th December 2008. I was so tempted to mention MN and our thread but I thought I might look like a wierdo!!

Trace sorry to hear about P. I hope she sleeps tonight.

Happy birthday everyone

Kayz I got over-excited about the brilliance of mumsnet ante-natal threads at a wedding the other day. I think the pregnant woman I was browbeating talking to thought I was a complete loon

Work have offered me a great job to go back to, so am really pleased. But really fed up of looking for a nanny. We're doing 2 interviews tonight and 2 more tomorrow. And I think my nanny share might have fallen through so could be back to square one. Aye me. Arti are you any happier with yours?

Having a bit of a potty training nightmare at the moment. Was all going brilliantly and then DS has started pooing on the floor. Urgh. Effie did you fix it with DS? Is there an answer? Keeping calm and trying to be calm about it is driving me insane. Thank God for wooden floors though.

DD babbling away like a mad thing at the moment though - which is very endearing, and I woke up this morning to the sound of the two of them laughing. So not all bad. Am trying to teach her to say mummy or at least an approximation. Rather scarred by the fact that DS could say 'giraffe' before he got round to bothering with mummy.

There was more but bathtime beckons.Back later.

Oh my goodness what are the odds of 2 women having the same spotted mac with a baby born on the same day. Her child isn't a boy named Jordan is it?

Trace that's all a bit much at the moment. It's compounded by the fact that you don't know your work collegues well enough to be yourself or to just have a cry if you need. I used to love the immunization campaigns. I only did the special schools and private schools so not the on mass stuff like you do, but we used to train the SHO's while we did it and they always loved coming out into the community. I loved the private schools because they made proper coffee for us while we gave the jabs.
I hope things improve soon Trace, you did have that good run so it can happen, but also I guess you've tasted sleep and you now want (need) more. You don't think there might be something behind it like teeth or something. Would it be worth giving her some calpol tonight before bed just to see if it helps, then you'll know if it's teeth or not? Just a thought. It's always afterwards that these things appear and then we realize that was what caused the tears.

DS2 managed about 40 mins of sleep all day today and is currently wide awake bring entertained with a Thomas story told by DS1. He did however feed well this afternoon and didn't seem to have pain on the boob, and ate an unbelievable amount of curry & rice. He ate all he own curry, then finished off his brothers! He then ate most of a hipp organic fruit duet & yogurt. I have no idea where he puts it all. I'm happy though as he hasn't eaten much or had many feeds in the last couple of days because of his teeth. He's still dribbling for England and I keep needing to change his clothes but he seems to be having less pain.

No but she said she nearly called her Alexandra but didn't because of the winner of X Factor being called that.

It was very strange.

Hello all! quick pop in to wave at you all from Berlin, only a few days left now

pmk as soon as I'm back this weekend will respond properly about that whoozit, I promise!!

wg hope Madam is sleeping a bit better?

Apologies for no more personals, have to go and finish dinner. Oh, one last thing - I finally put some pics on my profile of BabyPanda!

Mental day. Don't know why I am surprised because DH is away so of course everything would go haywire.

DS was basically awake from 3:00-5:00 and then up for the day at 5:45 and then inconsolable all morning. He has been bad all week (getting over a cold from last week) and I just assumed teeth, but today was off the charts.

Eventually took him to the doctor this afternoon and he has a fever and ear infection. Poor guy. He perked up after some Calbuprofen...I have been trying to avoid giving him drugs during the day (saving that tactic for nighttime!) but he was so so uncomfortable today. Doctor has suggested keeping up with the Calbuprofen and Calpol regularly to keep the fever down, so hopefully that will help DS get some rest.

But he still won't eat any solids...so unlike him. I am feeling much empathy for those of you with tricky eaters - it is so gutting to keep preparing food and then throwing it away!

Kiwi - Enjoy the last couple of days of your hols. And how cute is the Baby Panda! Hard to believe these seemingly perfect little cherubs are responsible for all the venting on the 6 month sleep thread!

Welcome back PMK! Urbane - Hope you have luck with your nanny search. Have you tried posting for a nanny share on the EDForum (can't remember how close you are to EDulwich?)? I found two potential nanny shares through that, but had only had initial chats with each of them before I found my childminder.

Night night! Early to bed as who knows what the night holds with an ill BabyMOM.

DS2 is asleep. It took 1 hour instead of 1.5 hours like last night. I hope he sleeps all night again.

MOM, Hope DS perks up soon. Poor little mite.