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Original poster

March 08: We're about to get our first little sister or brother!

620 replies

turtle23 · 29/08/2009 07:31

Thought I'd start a new thread as as soon as evie pops we're bound to fill it hugely and some of us have phones to work with!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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FfreckleFface · 14/10/2009 15:14

On Abingdon Road? Cool. Lunch, maybe? I will, no doubt, have a small ginger child in tow, but she is reasonably civilised if bribed with food.

littleducks · 14/10/2009 22:36

am free on fri

merryberry · 15/10/2009 11:09

aw, ewe, i had no idea. what a lot to get your head round. so sorry for your upheavals. i hope you're ok, how's T?

FfreckleFface · 15/10/2009 14:57

Littleducks, I'm not free tomorrow, but I am next Friday. Is that ok for you?

My smugness at having a child who eat everything has bitten me on the arse. Ff is nearly over babyflu, but yesterday would only eat blueberries (nappy of DOOM) and today has refused all but cheese. I am blithely ignoring - it'll pass, right?

bumpyandfrumpy · 15/10/2009 17:50

For the firsttime in my life I am genuinely concerned that I am going to seriously injure someone. No prizes for guessing who. I can't keep my head straight.

HolidaysQueen · 15/10/2009 20:03

oh baf
what has he done now?

FfreckleFface · 15/10/2009 20:33

You are too pregnant to be dealing with twuntishness. Especially twuntishness that makes you angry. What has he done? Is there anything we can do?

bumpyandfrumpy · 15/10/2009 20:53

Sorry. Just need to vent a bit. Will try to keep it short-
P and I at inlaws today (they weren't there) playing in garden. Had stomach cramps and feeling of doom so thought I should make a move. DH rang and said don't leave, I'll be there in 15 mins and let you in, spend time all three together...
45 mins later he turned up at same time as his parents. By now cramps are turning to NEED TO GO HOME TUMMY UPSET(please note their toilet doesn't flush well and is embarassingly close to lounge). I was angry and picked up P and left. By the time I got in car was in agony and couldn't turn properly to back out of drive. Scraped car a tiny bit.
DH comes home, tell him what happened, he shouted at me in front of P, telling me what a stupid bitch I was and wouldn't calm down. It's only a fucking car and I was NOT WELL. P clung to my legs and was scared. Cramps have triggered BH badly and I am in tears...
Basically row continued til I asked him to leave, he said no, said I would go and started packing.
He has gone out in a huff, I am hiding under a duvet with chocolate and a hot water bottle trying to remember whose books are whose. Says he will think about going now. Am too sad to cope.

bumpyandfrumpy · 15/10/2009 20:55

Book comment makes no sense. I am splitting possessions in lounge. Or trying to. How the hell do you split the books? We both read a lot, who can remember who actually bought them?

Ewe · 15/10/2009 22:37

baf, give him the fucking books if it gets rid of him! We'll replace them all for you! What an absolute arse.

Is there anything I can do? Come over and knee him in the bollocks? It'd be a pleasure

How are you feeling now?

We're just grand mb, thank you. I think at the moment we just need some space. His space is currently out in Soho at gay karaoke with his best mate. Is it odd that I hope he might come home and come out and he could live with me as my gay best friend? Yeah, odd, thought so.

HolidaysQueen · 15/10/2009 23:00

agree with ewe - give them to him if it gets him out of the door.

you need to wash that man right out of your hair, lovely baf.

bumpyandfrumpy · 16/10/2009 06:32

I dont think he cares about the books. I just cant imagine living in a house without at least some of my favourite books about. (I am a geeky bookworm)
He came back and said "We'll talk about it next week..."wtf? Am realising that he is just too lazy and stubborn to go so it will have to be me.
As much as I would love to get a MN brigade round to take turns hurting him...he is still the father of my children and I am a grown up. Sigh.

Ewe- Sorry for moaning when things are shite for you too.

bumpyandfrumpy · 16/10/2009 18:08

Ok. How the fuck do I get him to leave? I pissed him off by not ringing the bank. He got the phone, rang the number and thrust it at me. I hung up and threw the phone ontop the sofa, at which point he grabbed me by the wrists hard enough to have little bruises and started shouting. And yes, in front of P. Not enough to get the police out but enough to make me wonder what the fuck I am meant to do.
I cannot carry on like this.

Original poster
turtle23 · 16/10/2009 18:28

FUCK IT. I'm back as me.

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littleducks · 16/10/2009 18:50

Leave.

Not sure where you can go, (no spare bedroom here, or i'd say come (though in an emergency could def provide a safe haven if ever required you only have to ask, ok?)

Could you call womens aid? I know you dont see it as 'domestic violence' but as your pg maybe a chat with them about options could help?

littleducks · 16/10/2009 18:50

Leave.

Not sure where you can go, (no spare bedroom here, or i'd say come (though in an emergency could def provide a safe haven if ever required you only have to ask, ok?)

Could you call womens aid? I know you dont see it as 'domestic violence' but as your pg maybe a chat with them about options could help?

Original poster
turtle23 · 16/10/2009 18:59

He has agreed to be out by the end of the weekend. I just want him gone now. This is so not good for little baby.

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Original poster
turtle23 · 16/10/2009 19:08

He wants to know how often he can see P. What do I say? What is usual in these circs? I'm fucked if I'm having him have P for the night at the moment but am happy for him to come and give me a break in the day. Is coming by to take him out twice a week too mean? (Keep in mind he never does anything like this much normally.)

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littleducks · 16/10/2009 19:27

If he isnt out by 8am monday you are leaving,ok?

I dont know much about access tbh, but say that you will be more than willing to allow good regular contact and try to actually leave detail until he has gone?

Cant you stay somewhere, he held you, hurt you and verbally abused you, you have little P and the bump that is so not FUCKING on

FfreckleFface · 16/10/2009 19:30

Ok, grabbing you hard enough to leave bruises, little or not, IS enough to get the police. Take pictures.

You're heavily pregnant, and he hurt you in front of the baby, after shouting at you in front of him yesterday. I know exactly what my answer would be to how often he can see P.

Are you ok? I mean physically - do you and the bump feel alright?

Original poster
turtle23 · 16/10/2009 19:47

I'm ok, I guess. Just very emotional and trying to keep calm. Desperately want to just go and soak in the bath but P not asleep yet and I know I wont relax til he is.
I'm really hoping that it wont be as long as Monday. I'm so worn out. ANd now it has just occurred to me that I will have to have backup childcare for when I go into labour as DH wont be here. Should think about it anyway as DH is off on retreat (yup...again) in a week. I know I'll only be 36 weeks but still...
Thank you for all being so kind. I do know how to stop moaning. Really.

OP posts:
Original poster
turtle23 · 16/10/2009 19:49

(Apologies for excessive use of F word. Cant help it at the moment.)

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littleducks · 16/10/2009 20:11

turtle just leave

go to a hotel to 'give him space to pack' for the weekend if you dont want to permanently move

tell your mw what he did to you, get it recorded somewhere

Dontpanic · 16/10/2009 21:48

turtle, if he goes, make sure you have the locks changed, don't take his word for it that he won't let himself in or that he hasn't got a spare key anywhere.
And please don't give any more benefit of the doubt, if he isn't making signs of moving tomorrow, don't hang around. Like the others said, find yourself somewhere like a hotel tonight if you feel any more in danger. And yes, take photos of the bruising so they can't say there's no evidence.

If you've nowhere else to go, we have a spare room, just might be too far for you to travel.

Original poster
turtle23 · 17/10/2009 07:03

He has said he will make life difficult if I change the locks. Am I actually allowed to do that anyway? Tis his name on the mortgage.
Back to trying to work out where in the country I will be able to live on the tiny amount I will end up with.
Are we all planning a meetup antime in the next month?

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