March 08: We're about to get our first little sister or brother!

[turtle23]

Thought I'd start a new thread as as soon as evie pops we're bound to fill it hugely and some of us have phones to work with!

out of order, laying anything except loving hands on you ever. you need to start a 'help me sort the practicalities out thread'. there are women on mumsnet who have recently and are going through the end stages of relationships. they know now what's good and what's dodgy in terms of sorting a split. i do think you need to start accessing legal advice through CAB - you can do your waiting for an appointment through childbirth and the 4th trimester. you are married aren;t you? i shouldn't worry so much, at least there is law written and precendent set for you in these ccircumstances. much love to you, strength and equanimity in tough times.

I don't know what the legal niceties are T, forgot it wasn't in your name. However, are you comfortable living anywhere that he thinks he has access to 24/7? If you get your own place, damn well make sure you have sole access to it, sounds like he expects visitation rights on demand & that's not beneficial to you in the slightest.

Fancy Oxford at end of the month? Looks like I'm meeting Ff then, Littleducks - are you up for that too?

I absolutely agree with mb - no excuse for anything physical except love from him. you have to change this situation now - you won't have the strength or time to do it with a newborn, you will be exhausted and emotional, so i think you need to be out of this situation by then.

I came on this morning to say start a thread for practical advice on what you now need to do - looks like mb got there first. i've seen women get really good advice from them, and also get the strength to work through all they need to step by step with handholding along the way from people who have been there. One of us can start it for you if you would prefer.

The house in his name is not ideal, but as you are married then I don't think that is an insurmountable problem. There is a lot of legal protection for you when married and splitting versus not being married at all.

You must take photos of the bruises. Also remember that a diary of what has happened is good - I remember somebody leaving their DH and everything was on various threads on MN so someone searched and pulled it all together into one document as a 'diary' for her. Worth you doing that, or one of us doing that for you if you are worried he'll find or delete it.

Much love to you, P and bump xx

Thanks all. Am making sure he leaves. Have had enough. He still thinks he's done nothing wrong. Did I tell you the latest fab joke? P was playing his all-time fave game "empty the wallet" with daddy's wallet the other day. He suddenly went "mmmmm!!!" I thought he'd been given something to eat as he only exclaims like this when given something a bit naughty to eat.
Turned around to find he'd pulled 2 condoms out of wallet and obviously thought they were sweets.

"D"H's explanation? I found them in a cupboard downstairs so put them in my wallet. Yeah. Cos that's what you do when you are barely speaking to your wife(who's pg and runs no risk of further pg) and you haven't touched her in 8 or 9 months. He swears he's not sleeping with anyone, I dont know why I care...but come on...better excuses, please?

Ewe is kindly rescuing me tomorrow. Have made plans to be out all day every day until he goes.

On a different note...Argos sell magnetic drawing board thingies for £2.99 Keeping one in car and one athome...fabo.

Golly I'm a thread-killer...carry on, ladies! I'm ok...talk about something else, please.

Don't worry, Turtle, you didn't kill the thread. Had a weekend of RL I'm afraid (and by RL I mean studying, cooking Sunday lunch for my parents, sister and grandfather, and watching X Factor).

EU law is driving me bananas. I'm sure that soon it'll click and drop into place, but for now it's hard.

Finally found a winter coat for Ff. I searched high and low, finally finding something practical and not ugly in Next. She only wants to wear her red dressing gown though.

Been off in my own little world, sorry!

Turtle, I just have to say for you at your DH being on a "retreat". WTF? A retreat from what? Grrrr, I am so pissed off for you. I hope that today brings you a bit of space and calm. Let me know if you need me, I'm always around!

And our spare room is on offer until Thursday when my parents arrive. God help me.

Would love a meet up, but just not sure when I can next venture out. Parents are here for a week but sometime first week of November would work for me I think.

i've been busy with an entertaining fantasy where i hunt him out of his retreat, and garrotte him with 'old' condoms tied together

No you're not, I've just been wondering what the hell magnetic drawing boards are useful for...but I guess P has discovered opposable thumbs unlike my little chap. On the other hand, maybe they'll fascinate him

FfFf this is the address of the hotel here I don't know the area so where's best to meet?
Is 1ish ok for you, would really like a lie-in, so I don't plan to get there any earlier!

MB, I've just snorted herbal tea over the desk at your fantasy, but I'm sure you can do better than a simple garotting?

MB- You will let me know if you decide to do it so I can watch, wont you...

personally I think mb's condom ligature would be put to better use around a more, ahem, sensitive (and also more appropriate) part of his anatomy... he'd never need to put a johnny in his wallet again

I need to find a way of making myself understood. Now it is "I'm not going to be able to move out before I go away on Friday." I think he is moving in with a friend down the road...am thinking maybe I ring up on Friday afternon and explain situ, pack all his shit and then drop it round there TO HELP HIM OUT so it's all there when he comes back from his running away retreat...

could you accidentally get P to vomit over all his things so you have to throw them out anyway, maybe after setting fire to them just to make sure the virus doesn't spread?

He's so taking the piss. If he ain't gonna pack himself, get the bin bags and leave the stuff by the door. Which side of the door is up to him, what day is bin-day?

btw, not saying that P has to actually be sick again, but y'know, he may have a teeny bit left inside for special occasions?

lots of vom here! teach me to foist monster munch on a boy i thought need cheering up. who actually needed leaving alone. oops.

DP-Fab idea, but if it involves P ever vomming again (after the last two week bout) I'll do it myself. ;)
Have had a steady stream of emails from friends of both of us and friends of HIS saying that they think he's behaved terribly and they're on my side. Even his best friend said if it ever came to a nasty court-type situation that they'd be there to speak on my behalf.
Says a lot, really, doesn't it?

I'll send Bloke round if you want? He is enormous quite large, and a trained killer expert negotiator. Along with MB and her condom weaponry your husband would be out in no time.

Brrr. Might have to rethink wardrobe. Was so excited about finding a coat for Ff I forgot me. Am two sizes smaller than I was last winter, so need one that fits soi don't look like a mad bag lady to all these trendy student types on my course.

Turtle - sounds like DH's friends are much better people than him. I hope they are giving you lots of RL support too.

FfFf - two sizes smaller? . I think I am nearly a stone heavier than this time last year!!! Sigh. This time last year I was breastfeeding and on a diet and walking in the park every day. I then gave up breastfeeding within a couple of weeks of going back to a static desk job with chocolate machine in close proximity. And I have zero will power. Sigh.

House move still on. Exchange next week all being well - might need some handholding as it gets closer!

Brief whinge - I have swine flu and a secondary chest infection which is requiring steroids and anti-biotics Poor me!

I can't believe he is dragging this all out so much turtle, surely he can't be enjoying this at all?

@ FfFf too. I also am probably about a stone heavier, despite diet after bloody diet. Cut out wheat and dairy now so hoping that will help as if I am honest with myself I know they don't agree with me. Hoping being at home more will help too!

HQ you must be so excited about the exchange! Fingers crossed it goes smoothly for you.

mb, you have a wicked imagination! You create a great visual image with your garrotting fantasy!

JFly - I thought you might have been training so hard that you had no energy left to type to us anymore

From beginning of Nov I will be down to two days per week so am fairly free for meet-ups.

you should let paul mckenna mess with your mind. got given an old set of his hypnosis cds (one cd is missing, hopefully not a critical one) and seeing as i'm so influenced by the hypnobirth ones have given it a whirl for 9 days now. its not a diet, more a positive doing good things brainwash. doing me a power of good. stopped emotional eating within about 5 days. well the proof of the pudding will be in the eating it senseibly in a years time, so we'll see and good for you Ff tho yes still

i've got cabin fever, scuse me ewe do get well soon xfx

Get well soon, Ewe. That sounds horrible. Have you got help with T?

Ah yes, the tried and tested Husband-In-A-War-Zone diet never fails. Running around after Ff and the two dogs on my own for 6 months, not really drinking because I had no one to drink with, and eating dinner with Ff at 5pm did it. Plus, I held onto weight while breastfeeding - we stopped in May and I lost half a stone in a week.

But...it'll probably creep back on. Already wine on the weekends and eating with a boy is starting to take it's toll. I was a 14 - I have to work quite hard to maintain size 10, so I fully expect to be back around the 12 mark by Christmas.

Is DS1 any better, MB? Saw your fb update, bless him.

yup thanks, fever broke at about 4pm and he's already driving his dad nuts by the sounds of it

thank GOD i'm shagged of being in and gg needs time out too