April 2009 - Chapter 5 - The one where no-one is allowed to feel guilty (except about all the chocolate...)

[Guimauve]

There will be chocolate fines for the guilty!

Aha, the proper drug delaer arrives.

Dealer even. Must stop taking crack, it plays havoc with the old synapses.

Haven't missed me, Puzzle. Thanks for the good wishes. Am around tomorrow morning too but expect to be a basket case really. Be warned, there might be many many random posts (alternatively long boring witterings about slings). I ought to spend the morning having quality time with DS1.

All this is very silly, as it's a pretty minor operation I think, once it comes down to it (just sounds scary cos it's lungs). It's the irritating unpreparedness that's the problem and something someone ought to do something about. I have a leaflet which tells me to bring an unopened tin of formula, my baby's dummy (neither of which we use) and "dressing gown and slippers" but it doesn't say if they're for E or for me and I have no intention of using such things anyway. And nothing else.

Bugger E woken up.

Oh good. I hope to be on in the morning. Ramble at will.

Right, i'm off to bed. Night.

So are you going to turn up with a tin of formula and a dummy, and then ask them what the hell they're for? Or perhaps they're all for you, even the dressing gown and slippers?

I saw you mention you had a thing about travel high chairs, as well, mrsg - so to start you off, we have one of those ones you hang on the table like magic, and one of the fabric ones that you can tie onto any chair. Wot you got?

Gui I always found the teaspoon measure in cooking difficult till I started using calpol. Now I have a kitchen drawer full of those effing plastic spoons!

Gui - I used a teaspoon - but is a teaspoon of anything really 5g? what about a teaspoon of lead?

I'm surprised I am not being jumped on for loathing HF-W - he seems to be unaccountably popular in some circles - yet more evidence of the sanity of the April Fanjo Warriors.

Puzzle - I can get you anything you want darling, at the right price, assuming you are prepared to front the cash and trust me to wander off with it to find some mate or other within some unspecified time frame, although I will probably forget what I was looking for and eventually come back with a handful of unusual looking pills insisting that they are top gear and what the DJ is on, in the manner of Jack and his beans.

ROFL about the plastic spoons! DD1 actually asked for 'calcol' (calpol) earlier for 'me sore mouth'.

Mrsgboring - thinking of you and E. Are you going to take some expressed milk instead of formula? You could pop over to the Christian prayer thread if you'd like some people to pray for you, E and the doctors and nurses tomorrow

Thanks for voting for M Puzzle.....

Morning all. DS1 is still asleep . E, however, has been doing delightful dolphin squeals since 4am and has already had a massive breakfast.

Tee hee WFH. You may jest but I did actually consider taking in jars of babyfood (the ridiculous "stage 4 meal in a jar" stuff) for myself. Instead I've gone for those snap pots of spaghetti hoops and beans, salami that doesn't need the fridge, tinned sweetcorn, raisins and a very very dull but high fibre packet of biscuits. Cereal bars for breakfast. Oh joy. Gui I'll have you know there's no cake among my food stash at all (because aforementioned need to be sensible. And also because while the coffee shop sandwiches are disgusting, the cakes are excellent so am hoping to stock up while E is in theatre ). Thanks for the "rumbling good vibes" btw.

Swali can't express so I'm just going to wing it with my ample bosom (arguably something I've been doing since my teenage years) and hope for the best.

DS1 finally awake. Will be back to witter about highchairs later, probably.

Apologies btw for the disgraceful lack of catchup lately.

Thinking of you MrsG. I have to go and sort out the girls though so I can't stop and talk for long. It's amazing how mobile B is all of a sudden (and even more amazing how entertaining an empty coke bottle is ),

Morning Mrsg - I know I'm not on here often , but just to say I'm thinking of you for E's op. The cake(s) should help pass the time nicely.
Your E and my M must have been singing to each other I reckon, is anyone else joining in the dolphin chorus? AAAA-EEE-AAAAAUU-HHHHAAAAA

Swali - Glad to hear B is finally on the mend (and you too).

Puzzle - hellooooo. Hope H enjoyed her dip. I shouldn't worry about the odd swallow of water, it goes along with the 'peck of dirt' that our grandparents prescribed, only cleaner. We have a family swim almost every night and she sleeps much better now. The benefits definitely outweigh the cons.

Ginger, you're right of course, a tsp of lead probably a touch more than 5g. Fortunately very few cakes have lead in them these days! And then you get recipes including a 'scant tsp', 'level tsp', 'heaped tsp' - and baking is supposed to require accuracy But, other than Heston et al, you don't see many people baking using a digital balance. I've always thought it was all more of an art than a science! Though I do have a lovely retro-styled digital balance on my Amazon wishlist

Very little proper weighing and mixing involved in drug-dealing these days. I haven't had to weigh anything for a good 7 years. Even the heroin and cocaine comes pre-measured (sigh). It's not like it was.

This morning, I am making bread!

I'm a bit meh about H F-W. I have the books, though have cooked very little. I'm not too keen on him, though I don't mind the River 'Cottage' programmes. Meh.

I much prefer CBeebies now the schools are back. Charlie and Lola and Postman Pat so far. Excellent. Not sure about stuoid new Postman Pat theme tune though

MrsG - I'm sure your ample bosom will be...ample, though I suspect it may fox the staff! Witter all you like if it helps to distract you

MrsG - Reminds me of the mumsnetter who was stopped at customs while a man spent an age rifling through her baby changing bag. He finally asked where she was keeping the baby's milk.
"Err, in my breasts".

omg he wasn't the brightest button on the shirt was he? Hello puzzle

Mrs g will be thinking about you and it isn't silly at all. The thought of Hannah having any sort of operation however minor really upsets me. Take care of yourself and lo.

And boffin - great news about the nanny. Have you seen who the most recent mn q&a is with????

ok have to quickly scan through as my window of opportunity is closing for mn today. We all post to much

Breastfeeding puppies, I saw a magazine at the checkout yesterday about bf'ing a cat so perhaps not so far fetched. Wrong VERY wrong people! If you want an animal bf'd by something not its own species use a goat. They are brilliant for it!

ginger as for not pouncing re H F-W we don't tend to pounce on much except chocolate on this thread I do think you aren't giving him a fair go mind

As for the visit, guess what? They want to reschedule for 17/09 as on of the people coming has had to take compasionate leave. So we'll see what happens then.

GoingToDealWithSamAgainTiggaxx

Damnation. Have forgotten to put salt in the bread . Oh well.

Morning Brett. Yup, she said he went scarlet and moved her along very quickly.

Bebe- I forget to eat too

MrsG- hope all goes well

AA- I think your farmers wife used to live in Royston Vasey

Boff- shes sounds fab. Hope she keeps it up

Puzz- I took Izy swimming again yesterday and dunked him twice so if the waters bad for him I?m in the crap. Hes only had his first lot of jabs too. Wr go each week and have dome since he was about 8 weeks. One child I don?t feel like I?ve let down

Ginger- I really like H F-W but you?re perfectly entitled not to. I must be insane then,

Puzz- after yesterday and me being the last parent there and him the only one on the verge of tears this morning I wasn?t allowed in with him so he queued up behind all the other children and their parents and went in on his own.

oh gui, your bread will have that authentic made-by-a-real-person-undersalted taste. quite nice in its way.

making the pizza dough yesterday was so nice it made me want to get back into making bread. but i am so porky and homemade bread is so horribly moreishly edible. Maybe it could be allowed served with soup or something as dinner. hmmmm fish soup.....

sorry about no caps, there seems to be a miniature human being sucking my nipple.

swali, how is b? still on the mend? "calcol" is so cute. we are awash with calcol here - it looks as if dp tried to put it in v's mouth from a distance of 30 feet with a water pistol.

So Moo's been very throw-uppy lately And I'm not sure why...could it be teething? or her stuffy nose? It happens without the slightest clue...just suddenly she makes this weird sound and rancid pukey milk comes pouring out of her mouth...(and usually down my clothes and into her hand and down her sleeve since her hand always seems to be in her mouth lately)

Bronze - Oh bless him. DH and I are dreading Ellen's first day of school, I don't know who will be more of a wreck. Actually I do. DH.

Chortling over this thread title, though the content was most disappointing. I knew you ladies would understand

She does look something like the Julie Andrews picture, in fact, but without flowers on the hat. ;.)) I am not sure now I have found a wife that I want to share her. it must be great being a certain kind of bloke, getting all this stuff done for you and just coming home to a happy household.

Back at work today and just off to have a sandwich with the other grown ups. I am liking this and everyone seems pleased to see me too.