Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Post-natal clubs

Join our Postnatal Clubs forum to find parenting advice for newborns.

May 2007 - I beg of you... Come out, come out wherever you are Scoot.

745 replies

largeginandtonic · 26/08/2009 19:41

We needed a new thread. It took blardy ages to load.

Now where are you Scoot?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
AprilMeadow · 06/09/2009 19:20

fell = feel

Themasterandmargaritas · 06/09/2009 19:45

LG&T at the thought of you having to explain all these things to Phin. You will both handle it remarkably when the time comes I'm sure.

Could be the night tonight April Is it school for Jack tomorrow or Tuesday?

Rudi, now that is cool! We got a few raised eyebrows in the playground in deepest darkest south west with J, but what the hell, stand out from the crowd

We have had a very social weekend, with a 3am stay out last night (taking my cue from MrsJB naturally). Dh has now gone off again, this time to Joburg, then Barcelona. For once I don't really want him to go. Not only does school start on Tuesday, his parents arrive on Wed to live here and at the weekend I have an event taking place that I have been organising to raise funds for a mental health organisation. He has perfect timing

largeginandtonic · 06/09/2009 19:57

They are coming to live there!!! What?! Will that be good?, have they been to see you lot's?, do they know what it's like?

Good grief. Will they be far away from you?Whenis dh back? Sorry that was an awful lot of questions... are you ok?

AM you seem calm and resigned to the long haul. This is the best possible route to take imho. You will either be in a good spot OR pleasantly surprised

I am a bit worn this evening. The kids are driving me a bit crazy and i have just offloaded to dh via email. He will never want to come home at this rate! Poor man. His wife is a basket case.

OP posts:
Themasterandmargaritas · 06/09/2009 20:37

You are so not a basket case. I bet he appreciates being updated with everyday kind of stuff.

The ILs spent many years living here. FIL was born here, under a bush and is about to celebrate his 90th birthday So for them it is 'coming home'. They have bought a house in a retirement village about 10 mins away. The dc are delighted, me too actually as it will mean a more normal life with them being around. I get on well with them, so long may it continue!!

How did Hugs get on?

AprilMeadow · 06/09/2009 20:58

Jack doesnt start until next Monday so this is his last full week at nursery - scary stuff!

How lovely to have some family just down the road TMAM and also very sweet that your FIL is 'returning home'.

LG&T I really honestly dont know how you do it! Hopefully once all the school age dc's are settled back into their routine things will become a bit calmer for you as they will be using their energy up during the day away from the home.

Night night all xx

Tillyscoutsmum · 06/09/2009 21:35

Sleep well AM - I'd go you down for tomorrow so you need to get your energy up

Gin - you are about as far from a basket case as I am from a size 8. My DH gets home from work at approx 6.20 pm each evening and, if he's running slightly late, I have been known to be on the phone to him at 6.25 asking him where he is because I can't cope a moment longer I have one child and a very hands on dh who is around every evening. You do a, frankly, amazing job and I'm sure your dh has no problems at all with you offloading occasionally.

TMAM - Sounds like good news on the in laws.... I wish my in laws were down the road

AprilMeadow · 07/09/2009 08:49

Morning!
Just packaged Jack off for his last full week at nursery - scary stuff!

Managed to get a full 8.5hrs sleep last night and feel slightly more human today.

Baby cant come today as dh starts his Archeology A-Level tonight and i really dont want him to miss it. He started it last year but after a few sessions they cancelled it due to small class size. He is very excited .

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 09:32

I'd love to do an archaeology a-level. Oh well, your career would probably end in ruins anyway.

AprilMeadow · 07/09/2009 09:50

Hahahaha SOH

He went on a dig about 2wks ago that was run by the course tutor and had a great time. They were digging up bits of flint that were about 6/7,000 years old. The location had been used to make tools etc. No sign of people living there. Dh found a left handed knife type thing. Both he and the tutor were very impressed.

largeginandtonic · 07/09/2009 10:30

I used to want to be an archaeologist or geologist. I was fascinated by it all, still am. I had never thought about doing an A level in it! Hmmmmmmmm

I am so knackered. B was up with me till late and Blubell taging him all night. I may move in to the front room at the weekend and leave her to cry. She does not need food every 2 hours in the night, she is eating really well in the day and having 4-5 BF too.

A fun week ahead for me I am fairly stressed. DD1 has her counselor on Weds, i may ask for some of my own.

Too add to my stress levels i am now inventing things to worry about. I am convinced that dd2 has Turners, she looks like dd1, was puffy when born (more so than dd1) has low set ears, low hairline, broad chest. I am mess. Or paranoid or both.

FFS i need to get a grip and 'man up'. Court will be full of welfare officers and social workers, accusations from him and reports. As well as a stint in front of the judge. I cannot be seen like this

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 10:57

Oh Ginny. I know why you're thinking that but you know that it's so extremely unlikely. Turner's is a chromosomal "accident", dd2 is not more more likely to have it because dd1 has it. And have a look at lots of babies in the next few days. How many are puffy? How many have low hairlines? Broad chests? How many of your boys were puffy at birth? How many of these babies have Turner's?

You do not need to man up. You need to accept that you feel this way and with just cause. I give you permission to feel crappy and to struggle with life today. It does not make you a lesser person, it makes you honest.

And not be seen like what? Those welfare officers and social workers and the judge cannot see inside your head. And I promise you faithfully that there won't be a person in that room that doesn't have something running round their heads that they are blindsided by or worried about or preoccupied by and have no wish to share with the world.

Everybody on this thread does it, I promise you. Ask any of us to list the things that worry us at this moment in time, to be totally up front. Ask any of us if we're ashamed of parenting decisions we make, if we choose the wrong path or wish for our lives to be different in some way. Ask us if paranoia or unhappiness sometimes cloud over the good bits? My God, yes. Of course. And thank God, yes. We're human, fallible, flawed. We are not robots. It says nothing about you or us other than we're like everybody else out there.

Whoever told you you couldn't struggle or find things hard sometimes? I'll happily throttle them. Why can't it be you that needs help this time? It's life Jim and the thing that makes the difference is not feeling this way, but how you deal with it. It is not brave to struggle on regardless, it is brave to stop and ask for help.

Now, Gin, what help do you need?

Oh and, er, geology ROCKS!!

AprilMeadow · 07/09/2009 11:11

Very well said SOH!

LG&T you are one of the most (if not the most) amazing people i know. How you manage to get through the huge amount of crap that you have to deal with on top of normal everyday life and doing a massive chunk largely single handed is beyond me. You are totally allowed to have days where you freak out - i do and i only have 2 kids to worry about and all my other issues are sooooooo tiny in comparison.

It is VERY unlikely that dd2 would have turners and you are only now worrying as you know the signs to look out for etc etc. its like anything, the more knowledge you have on a subject the more you 'think' you can see similarities in another person/thing etc

Maybe if you were able to speak to someone about everything that is going on would be a good thing. It's not a sign of being weak or unable to cope, its a positive sign that you just need someone to offload to. Someone that has no idea about you or your life, they can give you the chance to offload and also give you encouragement, advice and support.

You know that my shoulder is always available to be lent on and my ears are always there if you need to off load.
Sending you big hugs xxx

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 11:18

I must just add that there is an exception to everybody having doubts and concerns. And that's MrLG&T who walks around at all times thinking 'I am a Herculean God' with a puffed out chest. And bravo for him.

largeginandtonic · 07/09/2009 11:26

That is so true SOH, he does. I could use a little bit of him right now. He said to jump upand down and get him home. I could but i won't.

I may really need him at some point and don't want to waste it iykwim.

Thanks for being so lovely. I am a bit tattered. Think i will phone the doc although i am pretty sure they will just offload the anti d's, i don't want them. I want to be able to get on top of it all.

OP posts:
Themasterandmargaritas · 07/09/2009 11:45

No one says it better than SOH. So I won't even try Besides my jokes are much worse.

You, my lovely, are feeling like it is all on top of you mainly because you are not getting enough sleep. MIL is away isn't she? How about a good friend who can come in and stay for a couple of nights and deal with the waking brats babies? What about those homestart people? I am sure you will feel much better about your ability to cope with your incredibly stressful life after a couple of nights of good sleep.

MmeJaffaB · 07/09/2009 11:52

lg&t, I can't really say anymore than SOH and AM have already said. They are absoluetly right. You are "normal", human and definately allowed to think and feel! One day will be better than others but YOU are amazing however crap you feel right now.

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:18

MrsJB, cracking? Never!

LG&T, he's not on operational deployment. Don't wait until he is to fall apart. Please be honest with yourself. It's best that he comes home for a few weeks/months now and his wife's wellbeing is secure than you refuse to admit the truth and he comes home and you're broken. He's a God and all that but he's not indispensable. It's not about really needing him, it's about the children really needing you and you having an equal partner in all of this being an extension of their needs.

I'm dialling NavyHQ as I type. I'll do it. I'll tell them.

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:23

Right, I'm deadly serious here. Are you listening? You told us what N said for a reason. It's what you want. Therefore, I'm telling you to do it. You know him, he doesn't say things for the sake of it. He would want to be there for you. You can make that happen. Listen to you husband and superior wifey. Do as you're told. Or I'll do it and I'll give them my pacifistic, war is evil rant while I'm there and they'll wish you'd been the one to force the issue.

I'm on hold, I'm going to tell them.

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:24

You think I'm joking don't you? I know where he works. I have the number. I've been there. They pointed guns at us. I resisted weeing on them and held on for the joy of weeing at Tesco's.

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:28

I'm talking to a very nice man. Quite high up in the hierarchy I believe. He wasn't too keen on being called Navy Monkey at first, but I think he's warming to me and my anti-forces sentiments.

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:33

He's enjoying my likening Naval Officers to pirates. Especially my pirate sex lines. 'This here be my special peg leg' has gone down a storm. He's going to repeat it in them mess later. We're going to do a direct trade. I'm going out to el Falklands and N's coming back here. I'm going to subvert from the inside, out. Give me a week, they'll all be cross-legged on the deck in civvies singing kumbyeya.

MmeJaffaB · 07/09/2009 12:39

PMSL, you are not crying wolf lg&t, get him back, you just need some support at the moment and a damn good nights sleep as TMAM says.

DO IT SOH

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 12:44

Do it? It's done. N's reputation is in tatters, I've got them to agree to renaming Tuesdays Dress Like A Pirate Day and they're gifting me their biggest ship so that I can tour the known world bringing patchouli and patchwork to the masses. Don't let it be said that I do things by halves.

Themasterandmargaritas · 07/09/2009 17:47

Are you on some kind of performance enhancing drugs SOH?

MrsJB Into the cupboard for you! She'll love it by the time she is 13.

Tills, was today Tills first day? How are you both getting on?

ShowOfHands · 07/09/2009 18:14

Do you think I need performance enhancing drugs TMAM? I'm high on life. And the fumes from your hangover possibly. How's the knee btw?