May 2007 - I beg of you... Come out, come out wherever you are Scoot.

[largeginandtonic]

We needed a new thread. It took blardy ages to load.

Now where are you Scoot?

Sky, poor you and the dc. J is suffering too and whined all morning at school, I still sent him though, mean mummy that I am. Good luck with the potty training, I did have to laugh at him 'not weeing or pooing on the aeroplane'

Did you manage to sort out the house???

Hi all

Flying in, not enough hours in the day atm!

Maddie is doing OK, no chane the dr said the break is right on the limit for operating but it hasn't moved from last week so as it's stable at the moment they will continue to monitor it and hope it doesn't shift. She has another X-ray in 12 days to see whats happening. No school though and no change of plaster.

Jorja has stopped school! Apparently she's not ready to be a student yet, she won't sit at the table and work, she can't count to 20 or say her alphabet backwards yet she won't sit in the bench for story or singing, she just want's to play? wtf? she's 2!!! Anyway, don't get me started, I scratched out the teachers eye balls and have put them on show on the mantlepiece as a souvinier, cow!! She will try again after x-mas.

lg&t you are sounding happier my love...hubby doing the trick

TMAM, glad you are feeling better.

SKY, good luck with the training.

SOH

MRsJB what an absolute fucker joy to have Jorja at home until after the festive season. Bet she will love hanging out with you maybe you could take her dancing??

SKY poor you with all the snots and bad nights I can sympathise Lachie woke at 3 last night and was awake unitl 5 when I cracked and gave him 5 pints of milk and a healthy dose of calpol.

My bloody car is knackered ad am now carless and so subsequently confined to the village until Tuesday. It went in for a service which cost alot of money and then barely 48hrs later some ruddy light is flashing like the starship enterprise with all the buttons and things and now Audi have said I cant drive it until its fixed and the earliest they can get the car in is Monday. I will be round the bend by then not too mention starving as have no food left in the fridge. Plus my sister is flyin back to San Fran on Sunday and we were meant to be going to see her saturday night. Grumble grumble grumble

Dear Santa,

Oh please, please, please. I'm nothing but a good girl. I'll sit on your knee and everything.

Yours,

Showy.

Lurgy here too, feel like I've swallowed several razor blades.

I'm hallucinating beautiful boots.

School at 2?

Oh, was going to type more but the Tank is swinging on the washing line outside. I can see her through the window. Going to point the hose at her until she desists.

Never mind his lap you'll have to sit on his face to get those.

I'm disgusted with you. So disgusted I might write a letter.

Dear Disgusted of Norfolkshire

I apologise. Please don't write any more letters.

Yours Ms Margarita

PS Do you have a tin of condensed milk I can borrow?

Santa should be paying you to sit on his face imho.

The boots are great, pay day next week. No kettle to buy this month? Go on.

Why the [anger] and He isn't working at Xmas again is he?

NPFS woman came again today. I have dh for another 2 weeks pending Captains 'OK' from the ship >

Oh dear MrsJB... Maddie and Jorja home... Lock yourself in the cupboard. I will send supplies

Jam double feck about the car. Can you online shop? Eat one of the chickens from next door

TMAM still hormonal?

Sky i hope the potty training is going well today. B is pretty good now. Poo and wee still in the pants sometimes though, grrrrrr.

I do have a tin of condensed milk acksherley and no clue what to do with it.

I won't write anymore letters, I promise. Just because you say so. I left fb because of you.

No money, terrible period, coupled with very sore throat and no sleep and J working silly hours. I'm fine just a bit blue. Fnar.

Where is the ship LG&T? Or are you not at liberty to tell us, coz then you'd have to shoot us? Does dh have to do any work at all when he is home with you? I hope you are not making more babies. How is P?

You are not really fighting down there in Norfolk are you? What does dh think about that cycling bloke messing up on his last race today?

Ooooooooo MrsJB, bloody frogs, how dare they. Fwiw J was described today as being 'whingey and a little bit bolshy with the other children', I think he might get expelled soon. This sounds like a perfect time for grandparents to do some extra little girl bonding. Shall I send you some Kenyan Cadbury's to keep your morale boosted?

Oh dear Jam, I suggest take outs all round.

AF is arriving, I am stabilising. However I am seriously worried about my overreaction on Monday, I really had no control over my emotions, even though I knew it was hormonal. I must go and see someone.

Does it weigh 397g? If not then I'm not interested, thanks all the same.

Yes he's working Christmas Day. And my birthday.

Didn't he do last year Christmas Day/NYE? Isn't it someone else's turn?

Not run for a week as dh has been working 8am-8pm so by the time he's home I have to go to bed atm. The Tank is full of green stuff too but it doesn't hold her back. You wouldn't know she had it apart from the waking frequently to cough/sneeze/blow her nose and the fact that she leaves trails.

I'll just drink the condensed milk then you ungrateful wretch. I feel like a naughty student when you address me sometimes.

It doesn't work like that TMAM. It's Norfolk. There are only 4.6 policemen in the county. Doesn't bother me as M doesn't know what 25 means so we can have Christmas another day and beggar my birthday, it's NYE, nobody's interested in anything othe than dressing up as a hooker and pickling themselves anyway.

[bitter]

Is it my schoolma'am voice? Or the fact that I'm a bitter, cynical, wrinkly old prune?

Gorgeous, blonde, lithe, tanned stunner. With a wicked lash of the tongue.

I'm coming to Norfolk to rescue you from Christmas.

Alternatively I could send you that cute little Mini Boden baby from the advert on the right?

Please do. Bring your best schoolma'am outfit, I'm quite the roleplayer.

You can keep the baby. Mothering not my forte.

Arthur, Martha, Llamas, parsnips.

Roffle.

Oh it's funny.

Look I'm just trying to be a good student.

Don't you mess with me young lady