Fab Feb 2009 - hey ho, hey ho, its off to babyproof we go...

[dinkystinky]

off we go again

Welcome back Clarabumps. I think everyone who has 2 or more - regardless of the age gap between them - has been finding it challenging at different times for different reasons. I had DS2 - Danny, 8lbs 8 oz on 10 February. He's lovely - and eerily like his big brother but even more active (!) and a worse sleeper.

Spotty - sending you enormous hugs and lots of virtual fig vodka. I'm still bfing evening and through the night but on bottles of formula for Danny now during the day as at work next week and wont be able to express - but I still have (and have done throughout) a drink or two here or there - particularly the fig vodka as I figure a small drink of fig vodka with ice will help me retain my sanity after a particularly trying day Mind you at the really sleep deprived times, I eschew the booze for bed asap. Re Harry - how old is he? Do you have sleepsuits in his size? If so I suggest you put him in his nappy then put his sleepsuit on him backwards (so poppers are at the back of him, not the front) AND stick a pair of shorts over his sleepsuit then pop him in his grobag - should either stump him or keep him occupied trying to take them off for a bit longer so you can get some more kip in.

Pink - hope you got some rest in today lady.

Any one heard from LBB? Hope she's ok. Also hoping Nkweto, Herb and the others who havent been on for a while are all good.

Took Danny to his last baby massage class today - sob. Though as he spent most of the class sat up eating a plum (and throughly traumatising the mothers of the 6 week old babies there with the carnage created - I could see the dread of weaning pass across their faces) and refusing to be massaged it was probably just as well. Am taking DS1 to his very last toddler yoga tomorrow morning too - sob again - which has been "our" thing to do over the summer and was really lovely as is with the baby massage/pregnancy yoga teacher I had when DS1 was a baby/bump.

no rest... did have a bit of a sob when i came across dd's new school shoes in the hall though. 4 days wear they've had and she could well be grown out of them by the time she's able to wear them again

hello clarabumps I had another little boy on 9 feb... Aaron. Adored by his big brother and sister thankfully and definitely making his presence felt as he's been nothing but trouble since day one (i joke but he really did scare us, he spent 5 days in SCBU at birth)

spotty... i've been preg or bf-ing for over 5 years non stop..... i certainly have not been a teetotaller for all that time though

Hello!!!!!

We're all fine. Been off-line because my laptop ot a virus so I've had to have it all wiped clean and have only just got it back today.

I haven't caught up just yet, but I will do

I'm just off to google croup(sp?), Luke has it. According to a friend of mine whose ds1 has had it 3 times and who also worked in a chemist for years, he has it quite bad.
The doc said to sleep in the same room as him so as I can't move the cot without taking it apart, I'm sleeping in there (not the cot, the room) with them.

Apart from that, all is well. Luke is sitting properly now and needs no support at all and can sit until ds1 pushes him over. The weaning is going fab, the fatty is eating loads, more than ds1 actually.

Right, off now to check about croup and will then catch upxxxx

I am challenged by three boys. It was three under five for a brief period. I lurk, hardly ever post, about to go make an 'I don't feel well' hot milk with rum and honey. I feel fine, it just tastes nice.

LBB is back on FB, recovered from her (computer) virus. Expect she'll be here soon. [waves]

i still have 3 under 5, will do until january [needs more booze emoticon]

swampy that rum, milk and honey concoction sounds divine, dark rum i take it? funny how many booze tips are floating around on a post natal thread

lbb... glad you're still around and the laptop is behaving now

There was a crosspost - hellooooooooooooooo LBB!!!

Pink, the rum is overproof 151 proof dark, dark stuff! You're a star, though, I seem to remember you aren't much more than five yourself. [bitter, hag-ridden, old mummy here emoticon]

youth doesn't seem to be helping much at the minute... i feel a hundred and five, not twenty five.

dd is getting the hang of scooting around on her bum pushing her cast in front of her so i think things will get even more chaotic tomorrow... early night for me tonight!

mos Great GCSE results for your ds1.
dinky Hope Danny's ok now and you've had no more random night time bleeds. It's very frightening to find them like that in the cot isn't it? Ds1 had a strawberry birthmark thingy on his forehead that would burst in the night. The first time, I thought he was dying. Awful.
spotty Hope Sam's ok after his fall off the bed. They've all done it mostly. I even managed to fall over holding Luke. I don't even have him on a raised surface ever now. Not even on the sofa, everything we do is on the floor.
bumps Hope Owen's ok now. It is so worrying isn't it?
PT Hope your dd is ok after breaking her leg!

Is everyone in the wars at the moment? Crap isn't it?
STW I didn't get a text from you.........I'm sure I didn't or I would have replied.

Thanks all for worrying about us. Is nice to read that I/we have been thought of in my absence

Clara There's 18 months between my 2 too. Not easy is it? Every now and again, I have had a little glass of wine before 6pm, just to do something for me and unwind iyswim.
PT You have had a rough time lately haven't you? It really has been all go for you. Hope it all gets easier soon and glad to hear dd is able to get around with her cast.

I've missed you guys. I've had to make decisions all on my own!
I started work at the children's centre last week. I'm waiting for my crb check to come back so I can do creche work etc, so atm, I'm there on telephone duty and they have me organising the arts and crafts boxes, which are basically boxes filled with crap that I have thrown away.........
£7 something an hour, which is alright, every penny helps, the boys come with me, but that's fine as they are pretty good most of the time). Yesterday I spent 6 hours washing plastic toys and bloody lego!

It is good to be back

Welcome back LBBB, and congratulations on the job - although £7+ an hour's no huge amount, it sounds good to be able to take the kids with you there and earn something at the same time - and presumably they can play etc there.

PT, hope things get better for you soon.

Hi and welcome back Clarabumps, I think I first posted here in summer 2008 but came back here as I was more and more sure that ds2 was going to be an overdue February baby not January as according to due date.

Hi to everyone else.

My childminder has a week and a bit off from next Monday so I'm going to be coping with both sons alone (21 month age gap) - I'll have help from dp and both parents at different times, and there are things we can all go to morning and afternoon most days. We had a dreadful night last night.

Sorry that you've had to spend so much of your precious last week dealing with plumbers, Dinky.

Morning.
elkie yes. Although £7 is alot more than what I've brought in for the last 2 years.......

awful night last night. Luke sounds awful. He has the stridor part of croup too so have to keep an eye on him.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Legal peeps - can I cite irreconcilable differences with my MIL as grounds for divorce?!

I'm seven shades of angry with her and J at the moment .

Despite checking with her 49 times before I started work that she was happy with the arrangements, she's been complaining that doing three mornings a week is too much (40 minute drive each way, so must be tiring...) and so we have bent over backwards to make her happy, including having M staying with her Tuesday nights so she can have a break from the driving.

We drove to the IL?s house last night to pick M up, and I noted that MIL was feeding M mashed banana from a spoon (lost count of the number of times we have asked her to only give finger foods). So in my calmest, nicest voice (honestly) I reminded her to stick to finger foods, especially with things like banana that M can manage perfectly well. She then went off and sulked for an hour or so while we ate dinner, and when J asked if she was ok, she started sobbing on his shoulder that she was sooo tired, and only trying to do what was right for M as she thought M wasn?t getting enough food if she did it herself. She also feels thoroughly under-appreciated (even though I thank her ten times a day) and thinks that I think she?s interfering ? well, she is!

She takes it on herself to buy M clothes because she doesn?t like the ones we?ve bought her, which I don?t mind too much, and gives her biscuits and rusks and bickypegs (?) without checking with me if she can, even though we?ve reminded her that we still don?t know if M has any more allergies. She also takes it upon herself to do laundry and hovering etc at home, which makes me feel inadequate, and I feel like she is constantly challenging the decisions J and I are making. When I left for work the other day, she said ?bye bye, have a good day, we?re going to have so much fun, just the two of us??

Of course, J wouldn?t dream of putting his foot down with her, so I have to and then I look like a big bad monster. We had a stinking row last night, at one point he said that he was so angry with me he wanted to either throw me out of the car or hit me...

AIBU?

Sorry

• welcome back lbb! Glad things are going well for you. I know you wanted a job at a centre where you could take the boys - is it the same place as before? Hope things are going well with you and DP also.

PT hope DD is better, and the pussy nipple has improved!

Dinky have fun at the yoga etc - can you find anything similar at the evening or weekend?

elkidee Good lunck when the DS's - you'll be fine, I'm sure. Hope we have good weather so you can take them out and about a bit!

PSL.... i know this must be horrendous for you (i actually want to sob at the thought of either MOL or my mother mindng A) but maybe it would help to look at it all from her POV?... can you imagine being her age and going back to the baby stage several days a week? On top of that being told that things which were perfectly ok for your own kids are wrong and dangerous and asked to feed the child in a way you've been thought to believe is damaging (don't explode, i BLW ds1... but my older relatives were terrified of it and i can understand why as it goes against everything theyve been taught about food safety for infants)

To be perfectly honest i'd look for another arrangement for childcare, this isn't going to get better, she's not going to suddenly accept that everything she did with her kids is dangerous and wrong (could you?) and she's not going to find more energy to deal with M if she's that exhausted. The cleaning actually sounds really sweet, you work long hours and have a baby to deal with.... she's just trying to help you i'd imagine. As for the goodbye comment.... I/DP/my mother/teachers all make comments like that when being left with ust one child... it doesn't mean what you're reading into it, although i can imagine why it feels that way

You're both suffering with this arrangment, maybe it would be better to pay someone for those 3 days so ye can dictate exactly how you want M fed/dressed/etc and it doesn't cause family tension?

sorry, that wasn't meant to read so rudely... A is flinging himself around on my lap annoying the hell out of me and it's affecting my typing voice i think

sorry, what i'm trying to say is, family childcare is notorious for causing fights and tension... it's not her or you... it's the fact that you're both the matriachs in your own little family units but trying to raise a child ye both love immensely jointly with very differing views on childcare.

PSL - sending you huge hugs. I agree with Pink - you are being a tiny bit unreasonable as older relatives, especially grandparents, are notoriously and universally rubbish at listening to instructions when it comes to looking after their grandkids in a particular way. I distinctly remember when DS1 was 18 months old and our nanny was ill coming home to the flat we were in when my dad was looking after DS1 to find the place a tip, he'd been using my facial cleansing wipes to clean DS1's bum (thank god they were gentle ones!), he had coslept with DS1 for 30 minutes in the morning instead of putting him down for his 2 hour nap at the right time and he still hadnt given him any dinner at nearly 7pm (he was just starting to try to feed a wailing overtired child and to distract him by putting the CBBC channel on for him) - I just bit my tongue and explained to him that DS1 was too tired to eat properly and I would just give him some toast (his failsafe snack food) and watching the tv was probably stimulating him abit too much. I knew my dad well enough to know he felt awful about it - but when he had me and my sister, they coslept, didnt have any routine and used to eat with us - from when we were tiny babies - at around 9pm at night so his parenting style and mine are very different. He has been a hell of a lot better looking at DS1 ever since though. And it is absolutely shattering for older people looking after little ones - particularly once the little ones are on the move - so I can understand why she's abit emotional and tired. Its also incredibly hard for you to leave M with someone else and go to work - so I can understand why you're sensitive and maybe feel like you're being pushed aside abit, particularly if she's doing cooking and cleaning and looking after M at your house (which to be honest I'd love my MiL to do - but I also know I would sometimes feel abit like she's in my space too much too).

Re the having fun comment - my MiL always used to say stuff like that to me about her and DS1 when we call on her in an emergency to look after him - and to be honest I would just take it with a pinch of salt and just be grateful that Josh was with someone who adored him and who he adored. And actually my nanny says to me that she and the boys will have a fun time just the three of them sometimes when I have to go off somewhere without them - its not meant to irritate or offend.

As for the BLWing - I have been known to spoon feed Danny too (yoghurt, weetabix and banana) when he's teething and refusing to eat proper solid food. A few spoon fed meals wont get in the way of her being a BLW baby - and she'll grab the spoon or dissuade granny from continuing with a flying plate if she's had enough anyway. I agree with you re the allergies though - your MIL means well but she needs to understand the weaning for allergy method and why its so important.

I think what you need to do is sit down and think carefully if you want/need your MiL to look after M so much - you are really lucky that she can, and is willing to, help out and M is lucky to spend time with her grandma. Maybe you can take it down to one day a week so she still gets quality time with M but doesnt feel overtired by it or so its like a major onus. Could you try M at nursery or a childminder for the other couple of days? And when you feel calm enough I think you should speak to your MIL to let her know she is appreciated but your real concerns re the allergies and worries if it is all too much for her.

LBB - hugs to you and poor little Luke too. Croup is quite distressing for the little man - hope he gets better soon. Great news on the Children's Centre job and glad you're back - you were missed.

Elkie - sorry you had a bad night. Danny is teething too so we had a shocker here. Am sure you'll be absolutely fine with both boys - I take the expect the worst and be pleasantly surprised approach when I have both boys on my own.

PSL I think the best course of action would be to get your MIL a nice card with a lovely message in it thanking her for all she does and how much little M loves her. Then call her and arrange to go over and tell her all of this. YANBU, M is your daughter and you know what's best for her, but I'm sure your MIL has the best of intentions, and let's face it, looking after a 6/7 month old baby is hard work when you're in your 20's nevermind 50's (if that's how old your MIL is, it's how old my mum is....) Being tired doesn't give anyone the excuse to go against what a mother asks for their child, but maybe you could make sure she understands BLW and is clear on what it means and how it ensures M gets the right ammount of food because it's her that decides how much she eats etc.
Hope things get better soon.
FWIW, I spoon feed Luke yogurts and things like that, the odd spoon fed meal will not mess up BLW, but I suppose the point is that you asked her not to.
My parents used to complete ignore me about things to do with Jacob, but now I don't really care what they allow when the boys are in their care iyswim, but it's not regular for us so not a huge deal like it would be if a regular thing like yours.

Luke is doing ok. Been a bit whingy today, but is normally. His breathing doesn't sound too bad, so if he's ok tonight, I'm moving back into my room tomorrow.

Been working again all day today and doing tomorrow from 9:30 til 4:30 but I have said if it gets to much for the biys and we have to go, we have to go.

poor Luke lbb.... i've heard croup can be really horrid. i'm sure i heard somewhere that using a humidifier or sitting them in a steamy bathroom can help though... worth a try maybe? Sending the little man huge feel better vibes.

Hello everyone. I've been lurking for ages (my son was born 17 Feb), but am finally ready to post! I'm copying this from a post I did earlier on the breastfeeding thread, but didn't receive any response . You all seem a lovely lot, so maybe you can help!

I was exclusively breastfeeding my son, who will be 7 months next week. A few of months ago he started pulling off during feeds and screaming. Sometimes I could get him back on and sometimes I couldn't. He's always been on the small side, so I was concerned he wouldn't get enough milk. I spoke to the GP, the health visitor and went to a breastfeeding clinic, but no one was concerned or helpful.

Eventually, I started getting blocked ducts on both sides, with large, painful lumps that would come and go. For the last month or so I have noticed a yellow spot on my left nipple. I tried piercing it (cringe), massaging the breast, expressing, hot compresses, extra feeding, but to no avail. The spot is sometimes big, sometimes small, but the worst thing is that I have almost no milk on that side any more. My son will only feed for about 30 seconds before refusing it, and I can only express 1/2 oz at most. I'm back at work now and am feeding him in the morning and night, and expressing (very little) at work, but we've had to give him formula after every breast feed (except his one feed during the night, as he's too sleepy to complain). My left breast never gets full, no matter how long I go without feeding, unlike my right. I'm heartbroken about this, but realise I should just stop breast feeding altogether, as it's upsetting for both of us. However, I'd still like to get rid of this blocked duct and have a couple of last enjoyable, satisfying feeds with my son. I would be so grateful for any advice! Thank you.

Hello! Sheepishly creeping in again

Spoke to Dinky today and she mentioned that the Feb thread was still going strong so I thought I would say hello!

I can't believe we have 7 month old babies

We have 3 teeth but not quite sitting up - all very frustrating! I am going to spend a bit of time catching up on your news but just wanted to say hello first

Glad you found the group again McDreamy - lovely to see you on and hear about A and her teeth! Danny is teething like crazy - drool everywhere - but no sign of teeth whatsoever poor little man. Though he has perfected the reversing back into sitting from lying on the floor move he's been working on and is still bunny hopping around the place on hands and feet desperately trying to crawl

Mapleleaf welcome to the thread and congratulations on your little boy. I hope you're having a lovely time with him despite your BF issues. Could the pulling off screaming be teething related? Sometimes Danny (my DS2) pulls off crying or refuses to feed due to teething. You could try some teething gel on his gums before feeding to see if that helps. The blocked ducts and white spot sound worrying - I would go see your GP if I were you to see if they can prescribe anything to help clear the blockage as everything else you've been doing should have helped get rid of the blockage. You may need antibiotics if the blockage is turning into an abcess. If you want to continue BFing, it is possible to just block feed from the breast that is working but would mean you would need to feed more often to give him as much milk as he wants/needs or top up with formula as you are doing. If you're finding BFing too hard with DS being so distressed and the health problems you're having with it, then you may want to think about moving to formula for DS if you think that would work better for you all round - you've done 7 months of bfing which is brilliant and at the end of the day its your health and happiness, and your son's, that counts. You could repost again on the BF board asking for Tiktok or other lactation consultants advice in the title too - should get you some replies.

Danny must have been sending A tips dinky as he's settled on some hybrid of bum shuffling and bunny hopping as his preferred method of forward motion He's gaining speed but has a habit of forgetting what he's doing every hop or two and sitting down to think about things for a wee bit... unless he spies a stray piece of paper in which case he moves at the speed of a small fat cheetah and pounces on it and devours it.

On a related note... can anyone think of a food that closely resembles paper but is wheat, dairy, egg free? He can't manage most finger foods but is a dab hand at chewing and eating paper or cardboard He's completely rejecting spoon feeding and i'm not sure he can survive on rice cakes indefinitely.

mapleleaf... have you tried taking some ibruprofen, having a hot bath and combing the breast with a wide tooth comb, focusing on the blockage, them immedietly feed your ds and compress the breast as he sucks?

If that doesn't work i'd head straight to the gp for ABs personally as it could get nasty... penicillan and lots of other ABs are safe while bfing so you could still fed ds

Danny loves wraps - had a carrot and houmous wrap today which he enjoyed. Could you do something similar which is wheat free (would suggest chapatis but they're made with durum wheat or flour and water - is flour something you cant use)? Is there some kind of chickpea or white bean based pancake type thing you could make for him? Or maybe check out the contents of poppadums - he may like those as they are pretty paperlike. And the thing I think I've found that is most like cardboard is shreddies or ryvita (which I swear is actually just cardboard) - though probably contains something that A cant have just yet. Can A have rye bread or pumpernickel bread? Looks abitlike cardboard IMO...

Thanks PT I had him in the bathroom this morning whilst I showered, which did seem to help. There are some wet towels in their room to keep the air moist.
Mapleleaf Sorry to hear about your bfing trouble. I can't offer any advice because I am a formula gal, but positive someone will know what to do
McDreamy Good to see you. Time is flying by isn't it?

Luke is sounding a little better this evening. He has only woken screaming once since 7pm which is miles better than last night.

Also, forgot to mention, Luke has also got ezcema on his face . It was quite bad but the doctor gave some oilatum cream and some ointment for the bath and told me to bath him daily, but as long as I get the cream on him 3/4 times a day, it keeps his face clear. Less than that it starts to get a bit flakey.
Am hoping he doesn't get asthma too, but I know he has hayfever too and these 3 normally come hand in hand don't they?

Yippee - I've made it onto the site without my PC crashing!!!!

Am saying HELLO - I've missed you all.

Quick catch up - Indy on some sort of accelerated development - crawling by 6mths, standing by 7mths. The girl looks like she wants to run! Neither of my boys did this - maybe it's having older siblings. She loves food and scoffs for Britain. I'm going back to work part-time next week .

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