For all those knicker-checkers now holding the source of all their worries.

[YouKnowNothingoftheCrunch]

I've been meaning to start a thread for everyone on the knicker-checkers graduation board. Just a place to check in and see how we're all doing and offer continued support and a bit more daft chat too

I know we don't get as much time to check in as we used to, so don't feel bad about intermittent posting!

All is well here. Pol is now 3 months old and lovely - a very easy going baby (good thing too with 2 big brothers).

Hope all those new (and not-so-new) babies are thriving.

alana sorry to hear you've something else to worry about, hope it turns out to be nothing but good that you have an appointment to get it looked at.

herb, crunch, suze lovely to hear that all is going well with you all and your little bundles.

crunch has your dh bucked up his ideas somewhat? Or at least are you at a stage where you are not tearing your hair out and have happy moments?

Ioan was 5 weeks old yesterday and is just gorgeous He's started to wake more in the last week so we get proper periods of alertness now and the last few days have produced the odd smile! Feeding is going well, although I think we're in a growth spurt as the frequency has gone up suddenly and I have big melons again!
He was just waking once at night but that's upped to twice ... and after a night of sleeping through until 5:30 ... just to make mummy think sleep might be in the offing!!
Starting to think about some sort of routine now, although thinking is about as far as we've got. He seems to have fallen into one himself of sorts, so we'll muddle along with that until after Christmas I think.

Starting to think about looking for some new mummy friends locally - might try my local nct lot then suze

Ooh Ooh you are all here!! Just went to the old thread in a fit of nostalgia for this time last year when I spent so much time here, and saw the link to here for the graduates!! Embarrassingly excited to find you all!

My DD is now 10 months and utterly delightful, a real joy to be with altho I did find the first bit horrendous, so so so tiring!..no one could have prepared me for it...but she went into her own cot and room and onto food at 6/7 months and started to sleep, the little darling, and I am unashamed to report that my love then grew! (I missed sleep SO much...) DH is a great dad and she adores him.

OOH so pleased to find the thread!! Will go back and read it properly now but hello to all of you - I really could not have gotten thru the pg without you all and have been feeling wierdly periodically lonely over the last months - none of the other threads seem right, tho I have lurked in the weaning and sleeping ones occasionally.

Hope you have all had a smashing festive season with your lo's!

dan that's brilliant news! Very pleased you have found us Keep posting

Hope you all had a fantastic Christmas.

scarlotti DH is on the whole much better but still has lapses (which are exhausting). Hope you've met up with a load of mums now.

hey all, here's a few names I recognise!.. been a long time.. about a year or so (last seen on knicker checkers thread a few back, lol)but thought I should pop on with an update.

DH and I managed to resolve things, turns out he was doing the male hide feelings, run away thing. We sadly had another m/c in december last year and we decided to stop trying and give it a rest for a while (I think physically and emotionally I need it!)

A year on, I find myself pregnant again, a little anxious but had my first scan today, earlier than we thought at 4w+6d but they are keeping an eye on me due to history so will be having regular scans throughout.

Saw gestational sac and yolk sac, no fetal pole at this stage but have been reassured this is quite normal. First time in a long time we have seen something viable on a scan so I am keeping positive and due back on 19th Jan for 2nd scan at approx 7 weeks

oh and congrats all graduates!

iris how was your scan? Fingers crossed for you!

Its funny how seldom we get a chnce to write now considering at one point for all of us it was pretty much daily! I keep losing where this new thread is too... but its lovely to see all of you!! Herb hellooo! Crunch hellooo!! (and well done coping with DH and his ups and downs!) Suze hellooo!! And everyone else!! Is scotlass here, if so hellooo!

My current problem seeing as I am here, is the issuevit drops for Rose, she is one in Feb (my God!!) and HV told me she should be on them but she has a good diet and I am not convinced...any wisdom welcome...also have posted a pic of her on my profile as she is so gorgeous...

dan great pic! What a sweetie
what are issuevit drops? I've never heard of them and I'm on DC number 3. All of mine are perfectly healthy and have never had any extra vitamins ... apart from haliborange for DD in the winter when she was around 9+

I'd say go with your instincts. If you feel she has a balanced diet (and I'm sure she does) then I see no need.

Ioan has his first set of jabs today am not too worried as have done this before, but feel sad that I'm having to take him to be hurt! Hopefully he won't have any nasty reaction to them.

Hi all graduate knicker checkers, thought i would pop over onto this thread and see how everyone is doing, cant believe the ages of some of your LO's, it seems like yesterday that you had them

Saying that DS is now 2 and half weeks old and doing ok, feeding like a trooper but waking up about 3 times every night for more food.

Its good to hear that it will settle done, fingers crossed.

Well best get some bits done, whilst he is asleep.

Keep in touch

Ciara good to see you and glad to hear all is going well. Feeding definitely settles after a few weeks, for me it was after the 6 week growth spurt that I noticed the biggest difference, although he'd settled a bit from about 3 or 4 weeks in. We were down to one feed a night at that point so hang on in there
My boy was a big one like yours so their appetite is larger than their tummies at the start!!

Hello everyone, and welcome Ciara

Things aren't so good here. DH has regressed and become abusive (emotionally) again. Hard to believe that 2 weeks ago we were happy He's moving out on Saturday.

So it's just going to be me and the 3DCs from here-on-in.

Any kind words would be gratefully received about now

crunch - sorry to hear you're going through this again. No great words of wisdom I'm afraid, but you are such a strong woman and have been such an inspiration to so many on here I know that you will get through this.

Maia is nearly 4 months now, and is a smiley, laughing bundle of fun (when she's not screaming nad keeping us awake!) Hard to believe it's been about a year since I came back to knicker checkers - nappy checking is sooooo much more fun!

lal thank you for your lovely words. I honestly don't know how I would have got through last year without the knicker checkers. You were all actually my primary support network for a long time when H was getting worse and I couldn't leave the house because of the SPD.

I can't believe it's happening again. He keeps saying we should keep trying and I should give him another chance, but he's not changed his mind about whose fault this all is (mine ) although he sometimes acknowledges it is his behaviour.

Would you believe 2 weeks ago we were happy and strong?

Maia sounds gorgeous (still love the name). Pol is smiley too. I swear she is my karmic treat for all the crap H has put me through!

Thanks for replying, feeling very needy and alone.

Oh crunch . Sounds like it has all happened so quickly too, it must be so hard for you - how are your sons feeling about it?

They're both being amazing. So accepting of it. They aren't seeing it as a split, just a move out. Which is fine for now, even I don't know what this is.

Happened very quickly. I feel stunned TBH.

Thanks for the sympathetic ear alana

Glad to hear that. Wish there was something useful I could say.

Just being responded to helps.

I am devastated. There's no going back. He broke his promises, I said that if he did that he was out, I have to follow through.

I'd got used to not sleeping alone; not doing things alone.

And I have to lose everything just because he can't treat me with respect.

Sorry to hear about whats happening crunch im not sure what i can say to make things better or to help you out, but dont forget you can let everything go on here.

Take care

How did the weekend go Crunch?

Thanks Ciara

It went... as well as could be expected I suppose, alana. He's gone. Moves into his new flat on Thursday (in B&B until then). It's hard. He doesn't get it. Says he understands what he's done, but can't tell me if I ask.

He's pretty much stuck in denial, and I'm at home picking up the pieces (again).

He's also lied to his mother (saying I kicked him out for some pretty trivial stuff), and she is (unsurprisingly) fuming at me for throwing out her poor innocent son.

It's not for me to sort out though. It's just more evidence that he has no intention of taking responsibility for the things he has done, and no intention of working on himself to get better.

It's very lonely here. But not that bad. I'm going to be missing the adult conversation, that's for sure.

Crunch Hope you arent too lonely, i know what it can be like having just a baby for company during the day (oh and a dog) but it must be worse not having the adult conversation at night as well

I hope you are keeping well and looking after yourself, you are strong and youre right he needs to sort himself out.

On another note DS is now almost 6 weeks old and doing well, for the last 2 nights he has slept for 7 hours straight which is fabulous, lets hope it continues.

I just need to find a nappy that is super absorbent as thats what wakes him up at the moment. ANy ideas ladies?

Cant wait to hear Blondie birth story.

I hope you are all keeping well and Crunch you are right we should try and meet up, but i presume we are all in totally different areas?
Im in Kent - anyone nearby?

6 weeks already?! Where has the time gone? You lucky thing on the sleep front!

I'm sure we are all over the UK. It would be so good to do a meet up one day - but I realise that would take and enormous amount of organising. I'm happy to travel. I have relatives scattered everywhere so I'm sure I could invade someone. (Guessing no one wants to come up to North Yorkshire!).

We're ok. I've got DS2 to keep me company during the days as well, and he keeps me on my toes. DS1 is being amazingly helpful. He's still emotionally fragile, but with continued stability he'll be ok.

It is lonely, but do-able. I think I'm working my way through the grieving stages.

I certainly started in denial. I spent the last few days feeling angry with him for continuing to play the victim. So that means I should be looking at bargaining soon, and then depression and acceptance. I think I might be doing the depression bit too. I've certainly done plenty of bargaining. So maybe acceptance is looming (she says hopefully)?

Crunch I think i spoke too soon, he only did 5 hours last night and then an hour awake, feeding etc and then slept for another 4 hours, so not too bad i suppose

North Yorkshire eh? That is a fair way up but im sure like you say everyone will be all round the country, so im sure we will have to meet midway somewhere.

So lets ask - who fancys meeting up and where are you based? Then we can go from there.

Oh Crunch i feel for you, i really do, you are being very brave and strong and by the sounds of it, so is DS1, he sounds like he is really there for you.
I think the depression bit is understandable and you must continue to do what you believe and then hopefully the acceptance will come soon.

(( Very un-mumsnetty big hug to you ))

Thanks Ciara

I'm sure you'll be getting more sleep soon. I think Pol has regressed a bit, she's slept through a few times but now likes to wake at midnight and 5.30. I'm not surprised she's a bit unsettled by everything.

Oh crunch I am sorry you are back here again...you must be feeling all sorts of crap emotions! Make sure you schedule in some time to just have a damn good cry and rail at the world! Sorry to hear Pol not letting you sleep too - they do like to move the goalposts don't they? Keep strong, you and your lovely DS1 who is being so nice!

I would always be interested in meeting, I am in Leeds, always wondered what everyone looks like?!! The thread is quite quiet at the mo tho I notice...where is everyone?? Will watch with interest to see what happens..

crunch of course by back here I mean emotionally back here with DH problems - not 'back here' on the thread!!

Thanks dan, that made me chuckle I will take it in the manner in which it was intended!

H is still being an arse. Worse if anything. He'll promise the world and deliver nothing

I stupidly agreed to go to his birthday do. He promised to pick me up. He forgot. I was an hour late because I had to arrange another lift (other friends of mine were there who I did want to see). He was cold and distant except when I was getting any male attention!

Not sure why he begged me to come really. I guess it was one more power trip. I'm an idiot for falling for it.

I've told him there's no going back now. It's over. I'm thinking about selling up and moving away. So much to organise

Think I might take next weekend when he has the DCs as an opportunity to escape and have some fun.