Sept 08: The End of an Amazing year

[Pacita]

Here we are: the thread that will see our LO's first birhtday...

I know, I saw it the other day when you put it up. They are gorgeous - and they look mischievous and fun!

Meglet - I hope all goes ok for your dad and your biopsy results.

Hurrah for Digi's sister. I'll defo be watching X Factor this year. You'll have to ask your sis if Cheryl is really as glam as she seems, or is she as rough and common as a badgers arse?!

Starlight - it's good to see you here Here's the email I received from Baby Milk Action:

You may have seen news of an important ruling by the UK Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) against an advertisement for Aptamil follow-on formula. Baby Milk Action had queried the claim that Aptamil is the 'best follow-on formula' and that IMMUNOFORTIS, a made-up name for an ingredient in Aptamil, supports the immune system. The ASA found that Danone/Milupa, that makes Aptamil, could not substantiate the claims. It was found to have broken the advertising codes clauses on substantiation, truthfulness and comparisons.

The misleading advertisement was one of the cases highlighted in the monitoring reports we produce for the Baby Feeding Law Group (BFLG). The latest of these was published in March and presents an overview of the strategies used by the companies to push their products and was presented to the UK Government independent review panel examining the effectiveness of the law.

The ASA took 2 years to investigate the claims made in the Aptamil advertisements and as well as making the initial challenge, we had to respond to draft rulings and the company's arguments several times.

While the ASA took up the case on this occasion, its policies mean it rejects many of the complaints we make without even investigating them. And while Danone can no longer make these untrue claims in advertising, its websites and labels are not covered by the ASA voluntary code and so far the law has proven ineffective at forcing changes. We will continue to press for a stronger law and highlight the absurdity of these loopholes.

While working to end company misinformation, we are also campaigning for the government to provide parents and carers who use formula with independent, objective information about the ingredients in formula and the differences between brands.

Starlight I'm in awe of your tenacity. What needs are you requesting them to meet, and what are they refusing?

Thanks for all your comments about MIL and wedding. Kinda helped. Am just trying to forget there's even a wedding going on (& DP can pay for the bloody present himself )

Don't shout, but the discussion about follow on formula - I understand no company should ever make untruthful claims but what is so bad about follow on formula? I haven't used it (we're still on SMA Gold for newborns, and C is barely managing 2 bottles a day as she loves her food and we'll go to cow's milk after one), have no intention to as I think it's not needed for us, but I don't understand why it's so wrong apart from being a money spinner for the companies. Is that it, it's just profit making and not needed if baby has balanced diet?

It's similar to my lack of knowledge about, say, refined sugar. I know it's not good for C and I avoid it like the plague and go for natural sugars, but if I'm honest - I don't know why I do this, other than I've been told it's bad.

Not supporting follow on milk or sugar but I just don't know enough about it all - I get confused easily

pacita yes, I'm being idle. Its rather boring. Both the dc's are out this morning so I'm enjoying a quiet house.

Jesus, starlight and leonie, I had no idea that one needed to fight so hard for such basic things. And it seems rather short sighted of the system, local authorities or whoever it is that is putting up the brick wall, as the sooner they provide help - to you as parents, and to assess the child's needs, the sooner you can develop greater independence.

At any rate, I hope you both get what you and your LOs rightly deserve.

I am still mostly breastfeeding, but do give Diego cereal at night, which I prepare with Hipp follow on formula. I just could not do the expressing thing however much I tried, and I don't feel I'm doing him a disservice, as he gets plenty of my milk as well as a good diet (well, some days better than others, I suppose).

Star and Leonie...it terrifies me to think I may need more help for ds1 as he gets older...not sure I could cope as well as you two do with all the faffing about by the authorities

My ds1 also was very late talking and also hated loud noises...still does really. His teacher called him "babyish" at his last parents evening so I put him straight on a few things!!!

What I had to go through just to get my ds1 assessed at achool by the SENCO really opened my eyes to how hard it is to get help when you need it from people whose job it is supposed to be to provide it

Argh. I'm too scared to post in AIBU, so I'm asking you guys instead how pissed off I should be.
My parents met me and A today to look after A for 4 1/2 hours. They've previously had him for 2 hours and we joked afterwards about how they'd been lucky and not had to do a nappy change. This time I emphasised that there were nice easy disposables in the bag, he'd need 1 or 2 nappy changes, probably 1.

So met back, and A is pretty grouchy. I pick him up and his trousers are wet. Turns out he hasn't been changed at all, they noticed his trousers were wet but figured I'd be back in 30 minutes so just left it. He now has nappy rash for the first time in 6 months.

Is this in the usual realm of imperfect grandparents or is this my parents being clueless again (previously I've had to point out that giving a baby a bottle of pills to use as a rattle isn't a great idea, and my mum used to give me drawing pins to play with in my high chair until the HV freaked out - she still doesn't think that was a bad idea)?

I then had to go straight to a physio appt - A was fine until 1 minute in, and then screamed for the whole half hour despite every distraction, until the second we left the room. It's the longest he's yelled in his whole life (since under-8-week crying)

Thankfully he's now his happy self again, pottering about, which is good as I was worrying he was getting upset away from contact with me. A friend said she had guilt about not feeling guilty about being away from her pfb - I think I've got some of that. At least his nursery seem lovely and competent... shame about the gps...

nc yep I would be annoyed about that. There's saturated nappies and there's sopping wet trousers. Wet through requires an immediate change, not a half hour wait. Tell them ds now has a nappy rash and that they should change him next time as it's unfair for him to suffer like that. If they can't take any criticism then they're probably not the best people to leave ds with for 4 hours. That's what I think anyway. I wouldn't leave ds with my mil for more than half an hour, precisely because I can't see her changing his nappy or being able to keep up with him as he attempts to climb the bookcase, escape into the garden, eat the gravel in the plant pots etc. Perhaps when he's old enough to make her a cup of tea, but until then she probably won't get him all to herself. I don't think she minds though, she gets to see him plenty.

starlight and leonie you are both amazing.

I have lower backache. I'm wondering if it's kidney trouble or a 2ww symptom (er bit scared if it is, so most probably isn't, right?). Not that I'm aware where in my cycle I am, last cycle was nearly 6 weeks long so could be ages away from my period. I probably need to drink more water.

nc I sympathise. That is awful and horrible. Dumb question, but have you demonstrated a nappy change to them? Only I was really shocked that DD's grandparents needed to be shown.

None of DD's grand parents live in the UK but when they have been here to see her I unfortunately did not have any sense of being able to trust them to look after her on their own. Sounds crazy doesn't it? e.g. DH's mum - no matter how many times I showed her - could not even get the hang of how to use the simple sticky tabs to close the nappies. Also she was really nervous about doing it wrong. I know some people rely on grandparents for regular childcare, but in a strange way I am relieved that I don't have that option. I guess you need to decide whether you want to educate them or avoid leaving A with them in future.

dg what is a 2ww symptom?

nc yanbu. Sorry A is a little sore . Next time maybe you need to say he has nappy rash (even if he hasn't) if the gp's are looking after him, it might spur them on to doing more nappy changes.

I'm watching the programme on teenage mums on bbc3 and . Some of them have babies at 15, I'm more than twice their age and I go to pieces with a newborn, heaven knows how they deal with it. DD (and DS if science permits) will both be getting contraceptive jabs at 11 if I have my way.

thanks peeps - they seemed to take on board that a nappy should be changed every 3 hours just in case, so won't write them off just yet (especially in public places in central London, where they won't get distracted from him like at home!) Though may lie and say the rash took until at least tomorrow to go.

I've demo'ed nappies half a dozen times, and my dad used disposables on me - they haven't changed! Next time we meet I might use my mum's fave line to my dad - "you've got a PhD in physics, figure it out!"

Much sympathy to those of you dealing with the SN systems and bureaucracy! What Starlight said - record everything and confirm all phone conversations in writing.

Thanks for the advice Star Have got it all written down somewhere from when my dh and I were seriously considering reporting ds1's school to ofsted

Off on hols tomorrow and hospital app this afternoon so wont be posting for a while...take care ladies xx