May 2005 babies

[fisil]

thought I'd start this up - apologies if anyone already has - for everyone from the dyue May 05 thread to graduate to.

profiles:

me: 31, SW London
baby: Murray (ds2) born 8/5/5 7lb 11oz
family: dp & ds1 (2 1/4)

Tinker thanks for the wind suggestion. That was another suggestion that was made...we will try and wind her more but she is a nightmare! Won't keep still and "fights" us and screams ! Oh the joys. Think we need to persevere.

shhh - am only saying that as sounds the same as my baby. when feed hger, can feel her tummy rumbling as though any wind is being forced down. or milk all comes back uo...grrr. but i don't think it;s colic with her, not same time every night, not every night even

Shhhh,in short Gina Ford routine says to wake her up at 7 no matter what time she has fed in the night, then put her down for a nap at 9, wake her at 10, then back for a nap from 12 till 2/3pm then up until 4pm,feed and bath at 5pm then another feed at7pm to bed,wake baby up at 10pm for a bottle feed and then they should be sleeping through the night ... I must admit it does work, even though I was very, very sceptic at first ... but now we do not have such a structured day, so I do a sort of adapted Gina, which means that I still have a life, but I dont let dd sleep for more than 3 hours during the day ...it is worth a try and it does get better, honest

is she saying abottle at 10 even for bf baby?

Shhhh, don't have much in the way of help except to say well done for being so honest, and you're not alone! Ignore anyone who tells you anything about what your baby "should" be doing - that's just so rude! They don't know. I agree about adapting GF - with ds1 I used to look in GF and find that we were more or less doing it already. Generally you will slip into a routine if you listen to the baby, which it sounds like you are doing. My main policy when ds2 is just screaming is to put him in another room and shut the door, because I can't bear it. He is now beginning to settle by himself, and is currently two floors below me in his bouncer waving his hand in front of his face and doing little grumbles every now and then. He was banished to the front room while ds1 and I were having lunch cos he was bawling, and we wanted to have a conversation (about "there is an ant in the garden, isn't there Mummy?"), and he cried for a bit then settled. But he's only started doing this in the last few days. Until then he was bawling until he got some attention!

I've just reread my post and it sounds like "fisil school of hard knocks" style parenting. I'm just too intolerant of crying, I guess!

yep ...but of cause you can also bf ... I think she thinks it is easier to see how much the baby drinks ... but it is difficult to sum up a whole book in a couple of lines ... it sounds very bolshy but she seems to get the results ... I prefer Tracy Hogg, who seems more layed back

Thanks claudi. Agree fisil, whenever I've read about GF routines, I seem to find I'm more or less doing that anyway just because the baby does. Don't think you're hard about wanting to eat in peace. I think that if I don't eat then neither does the baby

The meal thing is really important to us. Before we had children my cousin came to stay with her 4 month old. She didn't seem to notice, but every time she sat down to eat he would start screaming. She just didn't make the connection - but basically every meal she had was disrupted. We vowed there and then that we would never pick up or hold a baby while eating or allow a baby to interrupt our meals in any way!

Iwas just saying yesterday, how I havent had a peaceful meal yet since dd was born. dh usually cuts my meat, so that I can bf while eating ...not gina I hasten to add ... so putting her in another room sounds like a good idea

Shhhh, my dd is exactly the same. You are not alone! It seems hard now but it will get better. Honest.
{{hugs}}

Shhh, my dd is exactly the same. I'm ready for bed before she is. Like your dd she only wants to go to bed after 11pm by which time I'm pulling my hair out.

I have tried to wake her during the day so she doesn't nap to long but its impossible. How do you keep a 5 week old baby awake when all they want to do is sleep? Its not like she can easily be distracted or entertained.

I was so hoping to have a routine established early but so far it appears that dd is running the show. I bf on demand, she sleeps when she wants to sleep and when shes awake she expects to be carried all the time (I am making some progress by putting her in a swing though).

The only thing keeping me going at the moment is everyone telling me that by six months it gets easier and she will settle into her own routine, but how long then till she's teething? aaahhhh feel like pulling my hair out, I never imagined it could be so difficult.

My dm has her for a couple of hours today to give me a break and the opportunity to clean my pig sty of an house, strange though that despite how stressful it is taking care of her I'm missing her like crazy and cant wait for dm to bring her home.

oh my god brighteyes ! We could be the same person ! It looks like my life is the mirror of yours ! Well at least it reassures me that i'm not the only one not in a routine. I have tried today putting her in her own room for naps to get her used but its not working ! She knows im to soft and wont let her cry ! im trying my best though..us first time mums LOL.
Thanks to all 4 your advice i will let you know how things go.

ssshhh: its hard to listen to crying. But if you google 'crying up' and 'crying down' it will help you to 'listen' to her cries and tell whether it is a good idea to pick up or leave down. it takes a little while for both of you to learn but you will. I'm from the April thread so I've crossed this territory already.

one day when nothing seemed to settle dd, dh picked her up all swaddled and walked her in the garden into what was a brisk wind blowing (rare these days I know) and in 3 minutes she was in a coma! sometimes fresh air is what they need?

v. secure swaddling at this age really helps them settle. learn to do it. practice to get it really secure. it was a blessing. even their own hand waving wakes them up. the more it flies up, the more it spooks them, the more they do it. They don't know yet that its their own hand. I swaddled dd till last wk (now 10 wks) in nothing but a vest, nappy and a thin cotton table cloth. A friend told me that her mom - from Mexico told her that if you fold a sml towel into a band say 3/4 inches wide and lay it across the chest,it has the same effect to calm this reflex if its too hot to swaddle. I do it to dd now at 10 wks. I can't really tell if it works or that she is now older the reflex doesn't annoy her much anymore. Try it out. I would love to know if it does as at 6 wks the reflex does disturb them a lot when they are that young.

www.primary-care.ch/pdf/2003/2003-38/2003-38-311.PDF

has the swaddling technique i used. its nicknamed dudu. when i google 'dudu swaddling how to' i found loads of info regarding colic too.

Thanks alux for all that info, its helpful to everyone ....hope it was a good day for everbody, mine was certainly better than yesterday (Clara was very grumpy yesterday)

Message withdrawn

Hi all

Hollya I took dd swimming this week (shes almost 5 weeks old) and she loved it. I did go when it was very quiet because I was paranoid about a. her screaming and b. my stretch marks. I was told that it was ok to take them swimming before jabs, especially if you are b/f.

Had a very 'interesting' week. Dm and I had a huge barny on Saturday which resulted in myself, dh and dd debunking and staying in a borrowed holiday cottage by the seaside this week. I immediately felt destressed and within 2 days my milk production doubled, dd is back to feeding every 4 hours rather than every hour during the day and I'm managing to get a nap in the afternoon. Dm is leaving on Saturday.

Other things I have figured out this week - if I drink fresh orange juice dd gets colic. Stop drinking orange juice and after about 36 hours shes a happy bunny again. Also, dh did something on the sly last night I couldn't bring myself to do . He put dd to bed in another room to allow me to get some undisturbed sleep (he's gorgeous). I couldn't hear her little grunts and she couldn't hear or smell me and she slept for a full 5 hours!! Its was amazing as the longest she has slept in one stretch since her jaundice clearing up is 3 hours (most usually it is only 2 hours at night).

Dd also likes to be held all the time and in order to avoid getting a dead arm I have discovered she likes - lying on her back watching a wind up mobile (which plays a seriously irritating tune but hey its worth it), sitting looking out of a window, being in a sling on my front, sitting outside, and sitting in her graco swing. None of these work for more than 15-20 minutes at a time but I feel like its progress! And that is time enough to eat, shower, go to the loo...

Abow, along with orange juice its advised that you avoid grapes and cucumber to ease colic.

I had never heard this before but hv said they are the prime culprits in effecting breastmilk.

HTH

Hi y'all, i am the mum of another windy baby - not colic as i am please to say we don't have the three hour screaming fits but she definitely struggles to bring up wind and this does cause her pain. My HV this morning said with BF babies, too much dairy could also be a culprit so reduce intake. Worth a try....

The orange juice tip is worth a try...i drink loads of it. Didn't know it caused colic!

I need to start potty training soon but ds is refusing to cooperate.

We are going to have to arrange dd's Christening soon too. Last time, I waited until I had lost most of the baby fat but this time I don't care!

Alux, I have only just managed to get back onto mn so haven't tried your advice but will do. Thanks for the help it's much appreciated.
Well DH & I put dd into her own room on Tuesday night and she slept for 3.5 hrs then woke and fed then back down and slept for a further 3.5 hrs. Glad that she managed some sleep on her own but it was hard trying to put her down alone. She still didn't go to bed until after 11pm but this is always the case for some reason. We try putting her down at 8ish but she won't sleep !. Anyway after her first night alone dh & I decided that we are going to put her back in with us as we got less sleep than usually due to constantly checking on her ! LOL. Also once with us she sleeps through for about 6/7 hours. I know you will all go mad but she is back in with us , also at the moment we also quite like her being with us and I felt so tight leaving her alone. My dm comments that we are making a rod for our own back which annoys me but at the end of the day she is our daughter and I can't see how a few more months with us is going to cause any problems. We hope to let her stay with us until she is approx 3 mths.
Trouble is, it's taken us so long to get here due to mc & length of time to conceive that we can't help but wrap her in cotton wool.Not that everyone isn't like that anyway !!

The other thing is that (hopefully) i'm not returning to work and will be asahm so routine isn't as improtant for us as it is for those of you who will be returning to work....Will probably regret that thought once dh is back at work next week!!!
Hope everyone is doing well.

Shhhh, our ds stayed in our room (and most nights our bed) until he was three months old. It didn't do any harm and we all survived and got some sleep! Yes, we had some people tell us that it was 'a rod for our own back' but then again, they have a nanny bringing up their children. Ignore them and do what is right for you.

shhh: pay close attention to how you swaddle in the beginning. You learn to do it quickly later on. it's important to put the cloth in the diamond shape as it is 'on the bias' which means it stretches a bit to make it tighter. the other pointer is to make sure both arms are straight when you wrap them otherwise the will pop out. When it was still cool, she wrapped best in fleece as fleece stretches. Too hot for fleece now.

PS. Speaking about tight, don't worry, you won't constrict her too much you will find that like trying to tie a rope around a post, no matter how tight you try to pull, the end result is always slacker than you wished. She will have enough breathing room. (telling you that since you are a worry wart )

shhh - my eldest stayed in my room for a year, she slept through at 3 months and no probs when going into her own room. Going from cot to bed however...