June 2008: birthdays, bunting and bumps make mummy a little bit tired!

[pureeandpearls]

Bring it on!!!

neenz we did the math last night and a nanny would be more expensive than nursery. Nurseries and CM are about £4 an hour here, but even if you found a nanny at £8 an hour, you still have to pay employers NI on top of their gross wage, which can push it up. Anyways, we thought we'd look into it as I'm getting a raise August 1st (I'm unionized) and that would make a nursery affordable and still leave me with £200-300 a month, but a nanny ends up leaving me with nothing (because I end up paying for commuting time too).

(I know a lot of people here are very pro-union, but my experience has made me extremely anti-union. I make over 25% less than someone else in my job with only four years more seniority and that difference would be enough to more than cover the cost of a nanny. My boss can't pay me more even though he'd like to so there's just no solution.)

In a way I'm glad we can't afford the nanny because it means we don't have to re-open this discussion. DH and I ended up in a fight last night as I was frantically trying to work out the cost of a nanny while he was watching TV. I just can't juggle everything, work and home, but like Rolf's DH, my DH he works so hard that he's not got any brainpower left to help manage and organize us as a family. I do feel very lucky that he makes enough to support us, but I think our situation means that I can't work. As much as I'll enjoy beign home with the boys, it makes me very .

sympathies to sponge & puree on the spd. I had it and know how painful and restricting it is (actually it's still my excuse for putting on so much weight during pg as I could hardly move - nothing to do with the chocolate obviously). fwiw mine went instantly after the birth (the spd, not the weight unfortunately), although I have the very occasional twinge if I get up off the floor awkwardly

abd - good and bad news then I guess! Hope you can come to a decision soon. Are you going to meet the nanny or are you not sure?

penguin - hope you find the session does some good. The birth sounds like a traumatic experience to me

poppy - A has frequent tantrums now, usually when he's bored. Often he throws himself on the floor in a temper . Think he gets that from me

x-posted aberdeen. Sorry to hear that this is all so difficult. I can see why you're frustrated, especially as you actually like your job. tbh I think often it just ends up being the woman in the rship that sorts out all the practical stuff - it is in our case certainly!

Penguin hope the EDMR goes well.

AH I'm so sorry you have this dilemma. I went back to work PT after the first 2 children but it was very difficult to juggle everything.

Puree and Sponge sorry about the SPD, Puree did it start this early with Cecily? How many weeks pg are you? Is there anything else you can try, Sponge?

Deb hello . Are the boys enjoying the English guests?

Hello to everyone else

Hi Rolf, any progress on the car?

Abdn, I remember doing the nanny-cost-calculating thing myself . I felt nursery was expensive enough without it being even more, even though it was only a few pounds a day more. It sounds like you are doing the right thing but I understand why you're . And you never know, if it weren't for the union you AND the person with four years seniority might be earning 25% less. IME the union doesn't depress wages but I know what you mean - the pay scale means your boss can't give you a raise even though he wants to do that so you'll stay.

Talking of childcare, my CM rang me on Saturday to say she couldn't look after T and E cos she has a brain tumour . Poor woman. She says it is benign but she will have to have an op so won't be CMing. I have found another one, cos I saw three CMs initially who I liked so I just rang another one of them. Slightly more expensive and a 10min drive away (in a diff direction to work which is already a 1hr drive ) but very nice and I am sure they will be happy there. They are only there 2 days so it can't go too wrong.

PP, good luck with the treatment

PP, my SIL is a psychologist and thinks EDMR is really good so I hope it does the trick!

Is it ktpie's scan today or was that last week?

Quick one - at work but only for a few hours, then back to take Iestyn for MMR, then back to work again with DH who then gets dropped off at the station - argh. Totally overanxious about the MMR because he's not back till Friday. Oh, I'm only anxious that I'll have a sick child afterwards (did with previous jabs), but also a big anxiety and sadness etc is that I'm trying to drop the bedtime bf. It's not going well - we have a non-settling baby but whether that's because he's angry about the dropped feed or whether he's just being annoying for no reason I don't know!
I'm close to caving in and feeding, but then tbh bf has become extremely boring now, and I've decided it's time I get a grip and stop being silly and competitive about it. Hell, it's only breastfeeding!

Cars - no experience but friends who have children who play the harp get people carriers, and the VW one comes out top. I'm dead keen on German cars.

And Rolf - I was asked if I was pg by my (different, female) hairdresser. I think it was the top I was wearing. (Yeah, yeah, I know - it was the flab underneath it really!)

Hi all, and thanks for the sympathy, though am probably just being a drama queen. I suspect it's when I have to make long journeys but has reminded me that I need to be super careful. As I'm only 8 weeks in, it could be a long pregnancy. Might try acupuncture thoguh.

Poppy- sorry about your nights. We still on for lunch?

Essie- second MMR went better than the first for us, though reaction is 7-10 days so hopefully DH will be back by then.

Abdn- nice of your boss to sort the nanny option, though it's clearly not helping your decision. (((hugs)))

Car- we got an Audi estate before I was pregnant which is working out very well. You can get so much crap in the boot- I love it!

Penguin- I do hope today proves useful. Well done on getting to Ambers!!

[waves to Amber, Debs and others I've missed]

Second MMR? I'm well confused - Iestyn only gets the one. Until he starts school.

We had big, BIG crying today! That was before he was injected. He totally knew what was coming. Anyhow, we took him back home, gave him lunch, he perked up (did a bonus poo as well) and he's back at nursery now.

We've put him in his forward facing car seat today, but discovered that he's only 19.2. Damn!

Hi all

Rolf - yes the boys like the fact that we have lots of English children here but of course they are going out for days so it's never as easy as you think. They did say that they would go to the pool in the village with us one day so the boys will like that.

Today we are having a very first sleepover, Tristan has his best friend( a girl) to stay and is very excited. So, any sleepover advice from you veterans? Rolf? They won't be able to chat late as Ethan is in their room!!!

Sorry got to go, will post more later, off to make tea, poor sleepover child is having 2 main meals today as the Austrians eat main meal at lunchtime and we still eat ours now!

ooh, I hope Tristan has a great time. You're very brave to do it with Ethan in the room, although I guess it will give you a nice, legitimate reason for telling them to settle down if necessary. When we've done sleepovers they've been fine so long as the children are just talking late into the night - rather than doing mad things. The only one we've had that wasn't great was when DS1 had 3 friends over (the limit is usually 2) and the one who hadn't stayed before just wouldn't let the others go to sleep. I had to do the "one more word and I'll call your mothers up and ask them to take you home" card. I think I was pregnant at the time, which probably didn't help .

Poor DS2 hasn't had sleepovers yet (guilt!). He has some lovely friends, but not best friends since reception, the way DS1 has. Also, DS2 is quite immature and he and his friends are all quite babyish and very squeaky which somehow makes it all so much more exhausting! We've seen both boys with their respective classes on their way to the swimming baths: DS1 was at the front with all the boys and they were talking tough, sporty talk. When DH saw DS2 he was walking at the back with his friend, quite a way behind the rest of the class. They were holding hands and chattering squeakily .

Hi everyone. Am feeling a bit of a big girls blouse as S had his jab today (the one a month before the mmr) and I took the afternoon off even tho DH is off on Tuesdays. He is actually completely fine . That said, he's starting to let go of the furniture more and more so lots of tumbles, and one massive bruise is emerging on his face Of course this had to happen right before we went across to the docs!

Is anyone still using a dummy? S was asking for his more and more so over the last couple of days we've been really restricting it. Thinking about withdrawing it altogether but not sure I can cope with it just yet...

Aberdeen, sorry that you're in such a quandry about work. It's just typical that just as you're getting a bit of an increase you have nursery issues! What about a CM?

neenz sorry about your CM. How awful for her. That said, I know someone who had very tricky brain surgery to remove two tumours just a couple of weeks ago and he's doing really well. He'll be back at work soon!

Good luck with the sleepover deb. Also, I wanted to say that I finally bookmarked your site! DH and I were looking at it the other day, but he thinks flights/transfers might not be brilliant for us. We've also been looking at little gites on baby friendly boltholes and a few good options there for us. Am very excited about the prospect of getting something booked for next summer. Who knows, it might even prompt me to try and lose some weight!

Oh, dinner is ready got to go!

Debs Ds1 had his first sleepover on saturday. His friend is very nice but they were in bed at 8.30 and still chatting at 11.30. Eventually I think they dropped off mid-sentence! They weren't being loud or naughty just excited and chatty so we let them get on with it. Miraculously they were also up before 7 the next day.

AH My situation is exactly the same as yours. DH has a great job, which means that I can be a sham. But it also means that I HAVE to be a sahm. It does bother me occasionally, but it is no one's fault and I try not to hold it against him (much).

2 more things before I go and start the evening chores...

The bibetta bibs - what are they like for staining? Just chucked a load of bibs so need to get some new ones. Also, does anyone have the long sleeve ones - how do you rate them?

One other thing, Amber has posted some fab news on fb!

Thanks for all the best wishes. Feeling dazed and confused (like I've just come out of the cinema after an epic film) and although we started with me on the gurney going in to have the c-section, the rest of the session went all over the place mainly childhood memories...? Really strange, actually made me feel physically sick and I think I cried for the whole 90 minutes. Early night for me, will be back to catch up with you all tomorrow morning.

Sorry for the ego post.

Hope you get a good night's sleep PP.

Allnew, KWYM about the weight thing and SPD - I put on a hideous amount of weight with Alex and it was partly because I was sooo inactive. Very frustrating . I have put on weight this time too but not nearly as much - but then I still have 3 months to go .

Rolf, I'm not really sure tbh - have one more acupuncture session this week and will review from there.

I had to laugh at your DS and his squeaky friends - what a great image!

Essie, I'm also confused on the 2nd MMR - thought that they had one now and one pre-school booster?

Deb, good luck with the sleep over, you are a brave woman!

Neenz, how dreadful for your CM - horrible experience whether benign or malignant, even the word is terrifying .

BDQ, I'm with you on totally hating the jabs - I always take dh with me .

sybil, I don't think you're a sham !

Hi guys

Thanks for all your good wishes re D. She's fine, she just has to go hospital alot.

Penguin, sorry that yuo're exhausted and hope you sleep well tonight. Nothing to compare it but spent three hours at george's yesterday bening misdirected to the wrong department. They are so badly organised. The medical care is fantastic but it ends there ... and shouldn't ...

AH, hope you work out the nanny thing. I'm sorry it's casyuing you so much stress.

Essie, I'm still BFing too but I'm not sure actually how much she's getting. Know I should probably give up but it was so traumatic with Christian at this age that I can't face it with Dorothy yet.

DH is working now and it seems to be going OK. I am dreading going back to work and really thinking of going freelance, so I can spend teh time with C and D rather than working and commuting. Have decided that my latest career plan is to have David Cameron make me redundant when the Cpnservatives get in next year (am a civil servant). How is that for a career objective?

Debs, well done for doing the sleepover. We have had family sleepovers when we all go and stay with people (or viceversa) but have not yet got to the point of having an unaccompanied minor (that's not mine) about the place!

Re MMR, Dorothy had hers today and the nurse said that Wandsworth is different from the rest of the country in that in Wandsowrth, you have MMRs at 13 months and 18 months whereas in other boroughs they have the second as part of the pre-school booster at 3.5. Puree, I know you are in Bromley (?) but perhaps it's like Wandsworth.

PP, sorry to x-posts. Hope you get some rest and feel better tomorrow x

UDC, x-posted with you too!

Just a quick hello, have read through the posts but I'm tired and my brain is mush!
We went to my friends wedding yesterday and we all had a late night.
Have the scan tommorrow so fingers crossed for that. Will be back when I am a little more awake and properly catch up with you all.

Hi all - hope all those who had mmr today are ok.

Purée yep looking forward to lunch.

Nanny didn't pursue cc as edie got too upset so it's down to us - so far so good but early daysyet.

Deb good luck with sleepover

And Sponge, I weith you. Sorry you have the SPD again. I remember you hating it last time. Sorry allnew as well.

ktpie- hope tomorrow goes well

Rolf, Sponge, essie- apparently there is a break out of measles in South East London and so they are giving two MMRs at 13 and 14 months, then they will give the pre-school booster at 2.5. Essie, you should probably check what they are doing in Tootin'......

Poppy- good news about cc and lunch. Think nannny a woos tghough (professional not personal opinion!)

UDC- sorry, meant to ask about D but glad she's a bit better.

Debs- hope the sleepover goes well

Neenz- also meant to say how sad I was for you about CM after all the effort you put into choosing her but great that you have a fallback.

BDQ- did you ask about dummies- CJ is surgically attached to hers and we've cut it back to bed and car. Plan on getting rid of it nowe her jabs are all out of the way. Oh and Bibetta's clean up pretty well, especially the plain-coloured ones. The long sleeved ones are great.