October 08 - More chit chat!

[CantSleepWontSleep]

10th Sept (Due 1st Oct) - loulou33 - Boy - Joe Louis David - 6lbs 12oz - Induction due to rhesus sensitivity, G&A.
16th Sept (Due 8th Oct) - Ksal - Girl - Emma Rae - 6lbs - Just beat induction for PE!
21st Sept (Due 5th Oct) - myjobismum - Girl - Naomi Caitlin - 5lbs 10oz - Fast and furious hospital birth.
22nd Sept (Due 10th Oct) - Lozza70 - Boy - Sander Gene - 7lbs 5oz - Em C-Sec due to raised BP and high ALTs from liver.
2nd Oct (Due 12th Oct) - star6 - Boy - Quinlan - 5lbs 15oz - 36hr labour, ventouse and stitches.
3rd Oct (Due 6th Oct) - Bethoo - Girl - Maia - 7lbs -
3rd Oct (Due 26th Sept) - purpleflower - Girl - Rebecca Jill Erzsebet - 8lbs 10.5oz - Homebirth with paramedics due to meconium.
4th Oct (Due 30th Sept) - Aubergenie - Boy - Stanley - 7lbs 12oz -
5th Oct (Due 4th Oct) - hedgepig - Boy - Oliver - 6lbs 3oz -
5th Oct (Due 29th Sept Oct) - CherryChoc - Boy - Ryan - 6lbs 11oz - 3 day labour with natural birth in hospital
8th Oct (Due 6th Oct) - ronshar - Boy - William Dexter - 7lbs 11oz -
9th Oct (Due 17th) - Marthasmama - Girl - Martha - 7lbs 10oz - Elective c-sec
10th Oct (Due 1st Oct) - CantSleepWontSleep - Boy - Duncan Elliot - 8lbs 4oz - 4 day induction with 1 hour established labour!
12th Oct (Due 4th Oct) - pistachio - Boy - Thomas Fraser - 10lbs 2oz - Homebirth.
13th Oct (Due 15th Oct) - mum2jakeyroo/jrsqueak - Boy - Joshua - 7lbs 2oz - Delivered in car by dh!
16th Oct (Due 11th Oct) - heather1980 - Boy - Alexander James - 9lbs 5oz - Homebirth
17th Oct (Due 10th Oct) - pepperrabbit - Girl - Jessica Rose - 7lbs 15.5oz -
17th Oct (Due 27th Oct) - Rhian82 - Boy - - - Episiotomy and ventouse.
24th Oct (Due 29th Oct) - Ekka - Boy - Matthew - 7lbs 15oz - Home water birth with gas and air.
26th Oct (Due 20th Oct) - jenwa - Girl - Phoebe Jasmine - 9lbs 2.5oz -
28th Oct (Due 23rd Oct) - RachieW - Boy - Jack - 7lbs 4oz - hospital birth, epidural, stitches, 24hrs start to finish
28th Oct (Due 31st Oct) - Jojay - Boy - Edward Alexander - 7lbs 7oz - hospital birth - gas and air, 2nd degree tear. 7 hrs start to finish.
1st Nov (Due 22nd Oct) - SmudgeyDoodle - Girl - - 8lbs 2oz - Hospital water birth.
5th Nov (Due 29th Oct) - Honeymoonmummy - Girl - Poppy Grace - 6lbs 15oz -
5th Nov (Due 30th Oct) - MamaG - Boy - Harry James - 10lbs 9oz - Em C-Sec. Back to back and knotted cord around neck. 24 hours of labour first though, and don't you forget it!

Urgggghhh.... Twas another terrible night. 4 hours in total. I tried pick up/put down just to see if having a cuddle would help her but alas no, she screamed louder ever time I put her back in her cot. I ended up throwing all her teddies across the room as I was convinced they kept disturbing her! DS is off today too a his school is being used a Polling Station. She is nursing like a newborn and this morning, despite being very tired, she won;t go down in her cot.

Aubergenie - Your DP has excellent taste Selma is a very lovely lady. DH likes her too. He favours the short but large breasted lady. He also loves Drew Barrymore....

Jenwa - FB doesn't even compare with MN though

MM- don't know why I didn't mention this before... when I looked up the pick up/put down method... after 6 (0r 8?) months, you aren't actually supposed to pick them up or put them down immediately but rather shush and pat in the cot for a longer period and pick up later... I'll look for the thread but not much time to search at the moment. I just googled pick up put down or maybe it was the one aubergenie linked? I think? or loulou. goodness I'm a mess.. sorry. I guess the actual picking up and putting down was more for much younger babie sand the method changes as they get older. I'll look. hold on...

MM - tahnks for the Jane Clarke info and Joe is getting that sort of balance i think most of the time. Sorry that things have got so tough on the sleep front. This may not be a popular suggestion but it sounds like you need to get tougher with her. DH used to say to me when Joe was crying and would not let me put him down at all, all day - if he is crying when oyu hold him and crying when you put him down, why are you still holding him,its not making any difference!! This made me mad at the time but i can now see, with hindsight that he was right. I was clutching at straws, just trying to make it better but i was almost stopping Joe from sleeping by shushing etc iyswim. I used to work with Tanya Byron years ago and she is also my hero (and yes, she is annoyingly pretty, well groomed, lovely and kind in real life - i still hero worship her) She would suggest the extended return thing i mentioned ages ago starting with leaving her for only a few seconds to start with. I know its really tough but you sounded so desparate and tired ....

got to go - good luck

hereMM

and more general with FAQs
here

I will have a look back at the old threads but desperate times call for desperate measures. I have been reading up on the damage caused by CC and I'm not sure if it can be worse than the damage done by failing to get her to learn to settle herself. Plus the arguments against the idea that it causes damage are very compelling. I am also going to browse sleep books in Waterstones today to see if there is anything that sounds like it would be a fit for us. Anything that involves crying is going to have to be dealt with by DH as I can't handle listening to her cry. I get that horrible fight or flight feeling every time!

Ich habe keine geld. Anyone have ideas how to raise money by working from home that doesn't involve making marketing phone calls?

babysitting MM

Thanks Star. I am wondering about whether that will work for M though as she is genuinely hungry when she wakes. Am I going to have to stop feeding her in the night first do you think? I have tried to up her feeds in the day and to to give her more proper food but even though yesterday she had more milk than usual, she still woke up in the night desperate for milk. I think I'm just going to put her eBay. Kill two birds with one stone as it were. I'd have to make her collection only.

sorry this is slightly off the topic, but sleeping related. our mornings are run to quite a tight schedule (but not as tight as star's!) and it really helps that when emma wakes up a bit early she stays in her cot and entertains herself until we come and get her.... until recently... i think she is bored and frustrated and wants to get out and about.

Anyhoo... i was wondering about getting a toy or two in her cot, but i'm not sure if i'm going to cause problems with her sleeping if i do this. Its currently pretty good - don't want to annoy any of you guys with probs so won't tell you our routine(!)

I guess my main thing is i want her to associate the cot with going to sleep for naps and night time... but i want her to be able to entertain herself in the morning.

am i just kidding myself that i can have both? Opinions gratefully received as i really am in two minds

MM- Didn't you say you'd got a good voice for phone sex? Maybe that's your money making answer. You could MN while you talked.

I know what you mean though - I'm even thinking of having a car boot sale to raise some money for our holiday and rid ourselves of some of the crap that's cluttering the place up. I tend to do one every year or so and then swear I'm never going to do it again...

Really... babysitting is a good money making option. There are always people (particularly over the summer) who need a couple of hours and can afford babysitting a couple times a week but don't want to be bothered with contracts from a childminder...etc.

Ksal - not sure... Is there a way you could pop the toy in her cot when you wake in the morning so she can play with it while you get ready?

Ds has this on the side of his cot KSal. He uses the music to help him settle (comes on automatically if he cries in the night), but plays with it and watches it in the mornings. He also plays with his cuddly toys. Not every morning, but as long as he's had enough sleep first he's generally happy to play for 15 mins or so (maybe longer, but it's rare that I've left him that long).

Ironing MM. My idea of hell, but you can do it in the evenings whilst you watch TV, or at naptime during the day. Are you a village or town? If village then just stick a card in the village shop, or mention it at ds' school and see if any of the other parents want theirs done.

Not a great night Aubergenie, no, but some of that was down to me being too late to bed, and then not being able to settle, and then just as I did ds woke for a feed, so it was well past midnight by the time I got to sleep, and then he woke for another feed around 3, and got up before 6 again.
He napped from 9-10 this morning, and is having another sleep now.

DD1 broke her arm yesterday. Bad mummy health care professional, that I am I wanted to make sure it was actually hurt rather than an overreacting mother, so waited until this morning. A&E this morning.

Bugger.

Ksal - Joe has a doggy that he sleeps with or more accurately, Joe sleeps with it lying over his face no matter where i put it at bedtime. He plays with this in the the morning for 10-15 mins or so until he gets fed up. It doesn't seem to have disturpted his sleep so far. Once i have fed Joe, he gets really wiggly in our bed so i put him on the floor with some toys he only gets in our bedroom and he happily rolls about with them until i can bear to get out of bed - that gives me another 15 mins to come round..hth

MM - i am not convinced by the research 'evidence' about the damage from CC either and i think it is outweighed by the benefits to baby and mum in the long term. It is no esy ride though and i let DH deal with Joe sometimes as i struggled ti listen to it. It made my heart race to hear him so upset. I strongly believe that you and DH need to decide together and stick to what you believe in best for you - you know M, and what she needs, better than anyone...hope you found something useful in Waterstones...i think Tanya Byron has a new book out about babies?....dh suggested running a massage parlour from home but i think he was getting over-excited about the phone sex...and you still owe him a cupcake btw and no, that's not a euphemism...

Hiya- very quiet day here, ds and I have been very lazy. MIL over for dinner lately so need to get cooking soon.

Sorry to hear there were so many bad sleeps around. And Ronshar, poor dd and you.

Oh poor dd ronshar .

mm agree with loulou with the sleep situation. Thinking about years ago parents put there children outside in the pram and sleep time was just that and no pick up setc and the majority of our grandparents were no doubt fine. It is just horrible to listen too. My method was switching the monitor off and going up to check every so often to make sure they ok, if you hear the cries its awful but silence is bliss anyway, I am not a mean mummy and I do hate dd's crying but in the long run I know that its worth it and I have 2 who sleep wonderfully and I feel better for it. I think its a matter of leaving them and checking, like they suggest, the extended return. M is used now to being picked up so will cry more when you put her back down as to her she is used to you now and knows each time she is put down she would rather be with you so it is a lesson that she needs to learn and it will take time but I think you are desperate as you are so tired and I think if you and your DH are in agreement you can work to a routine and hope he can help you out. Just going outside for fresh air (no fags ) and coming back in will give you a break and a clear head and enough time to go back in to M and back out again without getting uptight.

ksal DD had a lullaby thingy that my inlaws recently got, we swith it on in the morning for her whilst I do my hair and make up and its on a timer. Also you can by cot activity toys that clip on to the side so that when you put it on in the morning it is new again and a novelty so that she is not used to it and bored. Will she except you walking in to do that and playing after she has already seen you? P will and will have another 30 mins or so hapily playing. Is E your first? we are lucky as DD1 can also entertain her

ronshar poor DD hope she ok I would have been abit like you too and left it

Oh and mm you speak German???!!!! Can you not do german phone sex??? that would surely pay more hahaha and off course iron at the same time

x-posts ronshar. Hope DD is ok - has she got a pink plaster cast on??

Jenwa - you sai dwhat i was trying to say but i was too lazy to type all that . We are lucky too taht ds1 will entertain Joe for a while with dancing etc. this morning i could hear him saying, Joe look at me, can you do this?' When i looked in, he was standing on one leg and Joe was in fits of giggles - i have no idea why he found it so funny though but i loved watching thwm without them seeing me.... maybe you need to have another ksal to keep them entertained

I'm sure your babies have been doing this for ages but Joe has started clapping when you say clap, clap and also does it to music - so sweet. I am trying to get him to wave as well but he justs laughs at me. he also said mama this morning. I was really chuffed as ds1 said dada first and dh has never let me forget it!! Joe will give you kisses if you say kiss kiss - well he leans into you with his mouth open and slobbers but i count this as kisses...he did this today when i collected him from nursery and the staff think he is soo cute [proun mummy emoticon]

right enough bragging - bathtime

Ronshar - Poor DD

Loulou - Joe sounds brilliant. I keep trying to get ds to clap but he just laughs at me.

CSWS - Sorry you had a crappy night too. What do you do when he wakes up in the night and isn't due a feed? Do you do the CC thing again?

Pistachio - your DD sounds like she was really hard work. I'm sure you're right though - we're all different, aren't we.

MM- How are you feeling now? Did you have any success in Waterstones? I was in the library today looking at parenting books and saw Your Child Your Way by Tanya Byron. She talked a little about CC. Her take was that you have to weigh up the balance of any upset caused by CC against the needs of your family as a whole, and of course only you can decide whether it?s right for you. She said if you are going to do it to leave the child for 5 minutes, then come back and check, then 10 minutes, then 15. If it hasn?t worked after 15 minutes then you should stop as it would mean that you LO had been crying for half an hour (5+10+15). She also said that, just because she talks about these techniques, it doesn?t mean that bringing your child into your bed is wrong either. Anyway, you may have seen all this yourself today, but I just thought I?d pass it on.

Crappy bedtime with both dc tonight.
Then our sky+ box wasn't working, which caused major panic about having to get a new one, but thankfully a clever lady on the phone managed to help dh fix it - phew!
Need wine, but am on day 4 or 5 of hideous sinus headache (again), so prob not a good idea.

aubergenie - during the evening I pick him up and cuddle him til he goes back off (usually less than a min), and since we did the sleep training he has generally gone back down ok. Other times I feed him if he doesn't go back off by himself within a min or two.

loulou My typing was far too quick though and no punctuation! Was typing as thinking and it was all a bit too quick! Your Ds is sooo cute. Phoebe is not doing that, she just shakes her head all the time when I ask her something, she shakes it to "no", quite funny . It is sooo cute to watch them interact with siblings. DD2 always laughs at DD1 yet when we do it it does not appear as funny to her So I see what you mean about your ds standing on 1 leg and Joe finding it funny.

myjob ave a lovely day tomorrow.

Pisatchio I never followed any books on CC just left dds to cry and went and checked on them as I knew they were ok, no temp, not hungry, not needing anything else just tired (obviously would give cuddles etc or get up if they were really hysterical) but they are both fine now, DD1 is very independent and head strong and stubborn and DD2 seems laid back and chilled all the time, hardly cries at all and smiles 90% of the time. They were always adaptable to any situation too, we went out with them at early ages etc to get them used to sleeping in other places rather than their own beds so friends or our parents and luckily we have had no probs with them. But, like you say I think it has a lot to do wtih their temperament. I could have another who was the opposite but I wont have any more I can not imagine having to be awake so much in the night, you deserve a medal for that with you DD when she was a baby!

Oh I forgot to say Myjob - Have a great time with your sister tomorrow!

And MM - someone told me today that there's an itti bitti appreciation group on FB.

Oh, and no clapping here yet.