May 2009 - loved-up new mums and/or sleep-deprived zombies this way please

[pulapula]

Here's a nice new thread for us to share our experiences with our new LOs.

Jael- glad you saw your doctor, and really hope your doctor can make the case for you to be a priority for the op.

Jael I had tramadol when I had meningitis. Tramadol was very good. Hope it works for you.

I put R on his tummy today for tummy time and he fell asleep for at least an hour so I didn't want to disturb him. I haven't slept him on his tummy for a proper sleep though but I was always put on my tummy as a baby as were most babies of my generation.

I had a really good day with the DCs today. Both were chilled and slept nicely, ate nicely and played nicely .

Just booked here for a week in September. Going with my mum and dad. Can't wait. No airports, no taxis, no car hire, no grouchy children that haven't napped, no transfers...... built in babysitters

x 2

Ebsmom My post on sleeping sounded really judgy... sorry it came across like that. I was trying to be conscious that my DC tummy sleeping might cause offence to others. I am a big fan of tummy sleeping because I think babies were designed to sleep that way (their soft and squidgy faces are better against the mattress vs. a hard head - not a medical view obviously!!) and my DC have slept really well on their Tums. I'm gonna shut up about it now before I really put my foot in it...

x3

jael, hope you get bumped up the list.

ebsmom, do check the irs website re: us taxes. I won't have to pay US taxes, belgium, we just have to register earnings for some reason , maybe price to pay for keeping citizenship. last year though, we got $600 from the govt as a 'tax relief'... i still don't understand why!

sleeping position, sometimes I put Harper on her side as well, propped up by a blanket. it seems to calm her.

went to Big Scream today with Harper and saw 'last chance Harvey'. the film was nice, watchable and the experience of cuddling LO in a dark cinema with other parents and babies was so lovely. I can't wait to go again . if anyone near York wants to go, it's on a Wed and I'd love to meet you.

Just want to add.... x 4

I can't really add much about the tummy sleeping. All my dcs have always slept well on their back, so I never even considered it. They did all spend quite a bit of time asleep on their side, e.g. when falling asleep while feeding in the middle of the night. I often find that C has rolled onto her side in the swinging crib, because it's on the swing setting and so the crib tilts a bit when she roots around.

Jael I'm glad you've been given some better pain relief and support from your GP. Do see him again if things dont improve. Sometimes you've got to nag people to get what you want . Oh and amazed at your J's acrobatics!

I'm about to go to bed. I've been having a headache for the last 2 days. It sort of eases and gets worse, but seems to be permanently there in the background. I think I'm probably not drinking enough, so I've been making an effort to drink more today. Lack of sleep doesn't help either.

C. continued to be a bit difficult today. Feeding little but often for some reason. She also had a long wakeful alert time and spent the longest yet under her baby gym. She looked like she was enjoying looking at the toys. I still can't believe how huge she is either. It doesn't feel like holding a newborn when I hold her. She feels really solid and sturdy and then there's her clothes size of course.

Hello Everyone, A stranger popping in here!

We're all doing ok here, Corey is now 9 days, he's doing really really well, unfortunatley we've had to knock breastfeeding on the head as my nipples cant keep up with him, I am now expressing for him instead, he has so much that we're thinking that he might have to go onto formula soon, he's having 125mls of milk every 3-4 hours!!!!!

He's either feeding or asleep at te moment, he spends about 1hr a day with his eyes open and thats generally when he hes filling his nappy!

I've not had chance to catch up with everyone else but hoping everyone is ok and coping!

While Im here I'll let you all know the birth story, know how much you all like them!

So . . . I was due to be induced on Mon 1st June, but at 5am I had a show so rang hospital at 7.30 to see whether I should go in or leave it and see if things were happening, they said to wait and someone would ring me, at 9am I started to get tightenings every 10-20 mins lasting 10 secs, midwife rang at 12.30 and asked me to go in at 2pm to be checked and if things were happening they'd let me home and if not they'd induce me, I went in at 2pm and was already 3cm dilated so they sent me home, from 3.30 the tightenings were every 4mins but still only 10secs long so thought nothing of them, Russ came in to check on me aat 4.45 and jumped on the bed to give me ahug and my waters broke at 4.50! scared the crap outta me and contractions started properly then! Rang the midwife and she came out and was with me at 5pm, she bought with her two canisters of gas and air but the tubing was broken so I couldn't use it, she rang for someone to come out with a new one at 5.10pm and whilst she was on the phone I was starting to feel the need to push so she requested 2nd midwife, 2nd midwife arrived at 5.30 as Corey was crowning and he entered the world at 5.35pm! So I never got my gas and air! It was hard work and bloody painful but on the whole was so much better than Madi's birth, he was 9lb 13 1/2oz! Total labour was 50mins!

Now we're a bit more settled into life as a family of 4 I'll try and get on a bit more!

Take care x

x post Momino.

Are these big scream cinemas a national thing? I've never heard of them before until someone else mentioned them on here before.

Wow Chocobunnies how fast?!! You are a warrior woman for managing without gas and air and delivering a 9lb13.5oz baby !

Belgian IKWYM about C not being a newborn. I'm getting G weighed tomorrow and I think he'll be 14lbs . He's in 3-6 mth clothes and is holding his head up really well. I really want him to start smiling and cooing some more.

Tumtum Thank you, I did feel pretty amazing, if in agony, afterwards! But pushinng him out was alot easier than pushing Madi out, she was 8lb10oz, it was very scary being totally aware of what was happening.

I didnt even tear this time round!

Ahhhh someone wants feeding again!

choco, wow, I thought I was pretty tough just using gas and air until i heard your story ! well done and lucky you for not tearing (i did but not too badly).

Belgian, i think Big Screams are national or at least widely shown across the northeast. I've been with my 1st two and now with dd3. it's a lovely time for cuddling and feeding whilst watching a film.

tummum No not at all. It is nice to know what everyone is doing and not feeling the the worlds worst mom by doing it myself

Momino Ok I will look into it. When I was in the states last summer my dad gave me all the paperwork and told me to send it in. I never did though . How would I go about doing it? Can I file online or what? I know it sounds so stupid but my dad always did mine so I have no clue!

choco So glad to hear from you! Nice to hear that you are doing well. Great birth story too and amazing

Well I am really struggling over here. I don't know what is wrong with me. I am crying all the time over stupid things. DH told me I was doing a great job and he was proud of me and I burst into tears for over an hour! The other night I told him he was a great partner and again started to cry.

Last night however was my breaking point. Everynight when DD goes to bed, baby S will wake right around then. She is then unsettled all night and I am lucky if I can get to bed before 12. She does not cry and cry, but she falls asleep and then wakes and moans and is so wiggly and windy that you cant really hold her. I was sweating and she was hot...I would try to feed her and she would get all red in the face and just get all distressed and would end up hurting my nipples. At 11pm I broke down and couldnt stop crying. I just wanted to sleep when I wanted to sleep. I never get a break at all. Even during the day when DD sleeps (for an hour!) baby S is awake. When is my break? DH tried to rock her to sleep but she won't settle at all for him. Then she cries and cries. He gets upset I think since he can't calm her. I said well you have not done it before and I think he got mad but I didn't mean it that way. If we were FF then he would get to feed her and she would probably start to settle for him. Last night was just really scary as I was having a break down. DH did sit up with me and play with my hair and rub my back as I held and fed baby S...

Going to talk to the HV today although I don't want to...I don't want to admit that I am struggling and I feel like I am failing.

emmabs poor you. You sound like you're having a really tough time. Am certainly not the most experienced person on here when it comes to babies and families, but what you're feeling does sound similar to what others have gone through or are going through. You are so doing the right thing talking to the health visitor. I'll share my cheesiest favourite saying with you 'There's no such thing as failure, only feedback' (terrible I know, but it works for me when I'm feeling crap about something). You're not failing, you've just been through another major life event and your whole equilibrium has been altered. You're tired out and still full of hormones. Talk to your HV and also try and give yourself (with DH) little steps/changes that could help to change things. Am sure you're doing a grand job. And of course keep venting on here. x

emmabemmasmom- yes, good idea to speak to your HV. I must say I felt like you did last week- I just wanted to get to bed before 12.30am and S just wasn't letting me. But things are a bit better this week. I was knackered last night though as he cluster fed 7-10 and at the end i gave him a bit of EBM (my last bit though) as he was just fussing at my breasts. I know not everyone agrees with formula top-ups, but sometimes you need a break from BF, so if you don't have time to express, then it might be worth considering this.

Well, its like someone took my crying unsettled baby away and left a new one! He still cries of course, but sometimes when he would have cried before, he just does a half-hearted bleat instead. And he slept 10pm-2am in his moses basket- his longest independent sleep EVER and then didn't feed again til 6.30 which must be our best night yet. I can put him down (asleep) without him waking up - i think it's just something that has come with maturity rather than anything I've done - he's now 4 weeks. So there is hope for anyone who is struggling with their LO. Of course, might just be a temporary phase but its nice to know what he can be like when he's settled.

emmab Sorry to hear you're not feeling well. Tiredness is one of the cruelest things and it can make even the smallest things look like huge mountains. All I can say is that you are not a faillure, just a new exhausted mum Do talk to you HV, she might be able to give you some coping strategies or refer you to someone who can help.
C can do the wakeful whingy thing too, generally in the morning and so I tend not to get too much sleep after about 5.30. So I know what you mean with what S does. She tends to do it after a feed and even though she's not upset her wriggling and moaning keeps my awake because it's so noisy even when I put her back in the crib. Can your DH let you have a break when he's home and have dd, that way you can at least have a rest when S is sleeping. My DH has been doing that when he's home and it makes all the difference.

tummum C is in 3-6m clothes too. When I got them out they looked massive, but when I put her in the clothes they just fit perfectly . I'm getting her weighed next tues, can't wait to see how big she is now!

chocbunnies Great birth story. So happy that it's a much better experience than 1st time around, because I know you were worried. Well done for not tearing as well. I know what it feels like to give birth to a whopper without g&a, so I can sympathise there You hid your 9lbs 13oz C very well in that tiny bump of yours!

Right. Got to go out now to get outdoor paint and wall paper for dd1's bedroom for the decorator who's coming this weekend. Hopefully the drive will send C off to sleep, because she's being a bit of a pain. Had a great big feed as my boob was v. full, then brought loads quite a bit back up with wind as she'd overfed again. Now she wants to sleep, but is just crying, niggling and trying to eat my shoulders and arm. A nice car journey might just do the trick

pula great news. I must say that C is a lot better this week too. She's even gone to sleep now without a car journey, but on my lap . I haven't had to use the sling half as much this week either.

emmab you are not alone.. and good to talk to your hv as i'm sure she will say the same. grace will be 3wks old tomorrow and normally her fidgety unsettled/unhappy time is anywhere between 10pm and 2am and often for at least 2hrs a few times all 4hrs.. which has had me exhausted and in tears. my way of coping atm is to make sure i feed grace when we're doing ds's bed and bath routine, she then goes to sleep too and I go to bed just after they're all asleep at 7ish for a nap before she wakes at 10. she then normally feeds for next 2hrs during which she can be v windy so i keep her over my shoulder between boob changes. on a bad night we struggle to get her wind up, she screams and feeds and the wind gets worse viscous circle.. usually ending with her doing an explosive poo and huge farts! if by this time i'm at the crying stage desperate for sleep i do a FF top up, dh winds and settles her and off to sleep we go.. for 3 or 4hrs till next feed which is back to normal and stress free. the last few days i've been making sure to feed her every 3hrs ish and for the 1st time last night she fed happily from 9-11pm settled asleep till 2.30 and then again till 6.. no FF top ups needed. i too use a 0.5 tog grobag and swaddle her with a sheet.. after her feed and winding.. i wrap her up and cuddle her upright a while. when she's settled i pop her into her crib.. keeping fingers crossed. there have only been 2or 3 really bad nights.. normally when i've not got an eve nap and the normal feed times went all wonky. i couldn't cope if it was every night.

i'm sure it will get better for you too.

sorry.. meant feeding every 3hrs ish in day..

sorry too for not name checking everyone i've only had the energy to lurk over last few days..

Morning all.
emmabsmom, sorry you're feeling low. it's easy to feel like you're failing as a mum but you're not. as others have said, tiredness doesn't help the matter and this is such a difficult time since newborns don't really 'know' how to sleep like we do. and the excessive crying does wear on the patience and well being. but you are coping, remember that. parenting is such a hard job and you're doing well. also (you know this), it does get better as they get older.

I notice harper a lot more settled now at 5.75 weeks than she was at 3 wks. she still has her 'gripey' period from about 6-8pm but last night i finally put her down in her moses basket when i exhausted all means of soothing and she whimpered a bit then fell asleep. she did wake up 10 min later but DH cuddled her for a few minutes, put her down and she fell asleep from 8.45pm-4.30am ! don't know how/why she sleeps some nights through and some nights she wakes. I do think age has something to do with it. or maybe she was tired waking up the previous night so making up for it last night ?