May 07 - The Terriffic Twos. (No harm in being optimistic, I say.)

[twelveyeargap]

Morning ladies. Sorry I have been AWOL. You'd think with DH having been at home for a full month that I'd have had time for MN. Actually no, if any of you have ever had a DH at home for a full month you'd know exactly why I haven't had time. Get your mind out of the gutter Gin, it's not that.

Thought I'd start a new thread since MKG's lovely girl arrived such a long time ago!

April, am very sorry about your friend. How sad.

Have only had a skim through I'm afraid, but Scoot; you obviously have the patience of a saint dealing with all those tantrums, so I think you'd make a great driving instructor. Is it really what you want to do or are you trying to think of jobs to fit in with family life? Is it a reaction to the current job do you think?

Congratulations on the wedding plans SKY.

Belated birthday greetings to everyone I've missed and happy birthday in advance to all the rest. Seriously, if I go off to find the birthday thread it might be weeks before I get back!

LG&T, is there any way you can channel B's energy into activity? A gets quite naughty when she's bored or hasn't been "out". "Out" can just mean the garden and "out" means she doesn't sound so loud to me, thus killing two birds with one stone. I'm wondering if you being (understandably) afraid to leave the house with him is actually making things worse? Something like a trampoline in the garden could be great because all the bouncing up and down would use up tons of energy and wear him out, whilst also being "fun" for him and "quiet" for you.
Also, re B's nappy rash. Remember A had a hideous rash that needed anti-biotics etc? Well it went away and then was back a couple of weeks later. I thought it couldn't possibly be teeth again as she seems to have all her teeth. Took her off milk and hey presto, the rash was gone in 18 hours. Plus her soft, foul-smelling poos have turned into normal firm not-awful smelling poos. She's fine with butter or the occasional bit of cheese, but any more lactose sets her off. I wonder could B have a similar problem? A's excema also got worse on milk and is now clearing up. I think it's probably temporary, she had a similar problem last year, but for now she's on rice milk or the Lactofree products when I can get hold of them.

I was at the doctor on Weds to get my Mirena removed and replaced with a copper coil to see if my libido would come back. GP couldn't "find" the Mirena. I have to go for a scan to find it, then to a family planning clinic to have it removed if they do find it. She said it's probably just lost, rather than come out, but it's kind of put me off using coils altogether now.

DH still not redundant yet. It's been a month since he was put "at risk". He's seeing HR today and I suspect this will be the final meeting and they actually sack him. His manager admitted they were hiring new people for the desk, but not for "his role", which is just a load of crap. You can't make a position redundant on the basis you want to hire someone "more senior". That's just a staff upgrade. Hopefully they'll make a settlement offer today, otherwise he'll have to appeal and start sending solicitors letters. However, he's had loads of interviews, lots of callbacks and good feedback.

No rush thanks Gin - don;t need it until 13th June. Thanks again

We have a Quinny Buzz

Off to read your MOTY thread

Nothing fits on a Buzz Tills, not without breaking your back.

Does Tilly walk alot? Tbh i would get a double even if she does, it is not the walking that is the concern it will be the running off. It is easier just to strap them in and know where they are.

hello, just a quckie, have stolen MILs pc

Had a fab time with lg&t and AM, you are both so lovely.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Today to our gorgy Beau and others I've missed whilst away, sorry!

How was Regents lg&t

Congrats to your sister TMAM and I posted your parcel today.

feeling unsociable now, should go, did manage to sneak in FB too.

Ahhh sod it I really didn't want to have to get a double buggy. Tils does walk loads (will quite happily do a couple of miles) but she does still bolt sometimes at the moment. Will see how she goes in the next few months

Hello MJB - hope you're having a lovely time in Blighty.

Phil and Ted all the way Tils! Single to a double when needed

The P&T freaks me out. I think it's because I woulnd't really like someone effectively sitting on my head.

That, and the fact that they are three million pounds.

LGT glad you had a great day, you deserve it. I cant wait to see the pics, where will we find them?

Tilly i know what you mean about the P&T. I used to think it was horrible the way the poor baby seems to be chucked in the shopping basket lol but now i can see how useful they are. Alana loves walking everywhere but its not much fun when its chucking it down, your trying to get somewhere in a hurry ie school and all your toddler wants to do is play in the puddles. That was why my MIL bought us a Graco Stadium Duo. It wasnt what i would have chosen but she got a good deal, the pushchair, car seat with base, and accessories for just £39, it hard hardly been used and she knew i would only really use it for a couple of months. I dont want to sound ungrateful but it is the worst pushchair i've ever had, its bulky, heavy to get up curbs and although the baskets big it is awkward to get to when the car seat is on. If you do manage to get shopping in there it makes it even harder to push and when the only way to get to your house is up hills and steps, its a killer. My friend offered me use of her side by side pushchair but that is hard to get round shops with. Also she found she had to buy a wider version because like us she had a toddler and a newborn and found many twin buggies left the toddler looking squashed and uncomfortable. So now after trying out two 'normal' double pushchairs i can see why the P&T's so popular. A couple of friends have them and i must admit im a bit jealous of the ease in which they are able to get about with them, they are easy to use public transport with, fit round most shops, they also come in a lovely range of bright colours. I have also seen a cheaper version if you cant justify splashing out that much on a pushchair, cant remember the make and having only seen it being pushed down the road i dont know how sturdy it is but it may be worth keeping an eye out.

Belated birthday wishes to Beau and any other Lo's ive missed

I couldn't afford the P&T and my Maclaren Techo Twin does us just fine. It fits through a door where my friends Out n About doule nipper doesn't (which was the one I wanted but DP said wouldn't fit in the car folded down). I have put the buggy board away for a while as C was having the time of his life jumping off it in the middle of roads etc (he was on wrist strap I hasten to add).

The night aren't too bad at the moment, L now in with C. They both go to bed asleep (bad mummy emoticon!), L wakes at some time for a bottle but hasn't woken C yet, although he did wake him at 5.50 for the day today!

I have another interview. For the chlamydia screening support post. Am very surprised as it was advertised as a full time but job share would be considered. I am considering ringing them to check that they do know I don't want it full time.

Its peaceful in the pebble house. I am getting the silent treatment from dh, he hasnt spoken to me since about 1am tuesday morning, has slept on sofa until i get up then gets in bed until its time for him to get ready for work at 2pm. All i did was spurn his advances, i was knackered, hadnt stopped since we had got back from holiday, unpacking, washing, ironing, cooking etc while he sat on his arse watching tv yet he obviously thought i should have enough energy left to see to his needs and now by turning him down ive comitted the ultimate crime lol. Its actually pissed me off a bit, he seems to think that i dont have a right to be tired or want time on my own. If i go to bed early he moans yet if i stay up and start falling asleep he moans, i cant win. I know our sex life has gone down hill lately but he is hardly here, he goes to the pub after work until about 1am most nights, sleeps til 12pm then has about 2hrs before he has to leave for work again, weekends are usually spent at the pub, golf or at Mil's so we dont get time together then either yet he seems to think i have to be there for him whenever the mood grabs him and that he doesnt have to put any effort into the marriage. He has also started slagging me off about my weight and making comments about girls we pass in the car as if in his deluded mind it will suddenly make me want to have sex with him, when in reality it just makes it worse. Sorry for the rant just needed to get it off my chest. Cant decide whether to be mad at his childish sulk or find it hilarious

Hi all

Sky, good luck with the interview.

I'm worrying about what to do re a double buggy too - the one I have is a secondhand Mothercare own brand one which is one behind the other rather than under like the P&T - but it looks a bit uncomfortable when Conor gets bumped on curbs and things and it's unusable on public transport. I've just about got my head round how to use it but would still be worried about it if on my own with both dcs - Danny's at his CM on weekdays at the moment. I'm hoping that by the autumn D will need to bve in a buggy a bit less. He'd like not to be a lot of the time now but plays up and that's with two of us.

Pebble, I'm sorry, that sounds horrible for you.

well dh finally spoke to me last night after 4 days of silence. He woke me up and apologised for being a prat and gave me a kiss. He then went on to announce that he is moving back to his mums for a few days, hes enjoyed being on his own I wasnt really expecting that little bombshell. He then got up and went into the living room. Five minutes he rings my mobile asking me to go in there with him and make love. Im still reeling from his announcement and then he expects me to be in the mood for sex. When i asked him again about his decision he blamed me, I'VE made him feel like this, so it was me who had been ignoring him, had been sulking like a spoilt brat! yeah right. I guess i am partly to blame, in that sometimes i am too knackered to spend quality time with him but looking after 4 kids all day from 6am-10pm can be tiring especially when you dont get any help (which is why LGT deserved her MOTY award lol) If anyone should be asking for space it should be me, he spends so much time drinking at the pub after hours that a rumour started that he was having an affair with the landlady, i knew it wasnt true because the landlady's dh is the one who stays behind with him most of the time but i still could have got angry about it yet i didnt

I have too many things to do today to sit and worry about it, need to get Deacon to the dr, his breathing is very raspy, sounds like a heavy smoker. So the situation with dh will just have to wait.

Aw Pebble - I'm so sorry Your (d)h sounds like he's being a bit of an arse to say the least . Do you get on with his mum ? Could you maybe have a word with her to see if she can talk some sense into him ?

Hope the Dr sorts out Deacon

just had another blow up with dh. Its so annoying, he just refuses to listen to anything i say, he hears a bit says what he thinks i want to hear and expects everything to be ok. After he refused to take Deacon to the dr this morning i told him to make the move to his mums more permanent, i'd had enough but he insisted we talk, hence the latest bust up. Once again nothing was sorted and when i tried to talk he suddenly had to go to work. How long do i keep on trying?
He didnt even ask how Deacon got on. I know he wasnt planned but when i found out i was pg i gave him the choice of leaving if he really couldnt face having another child but he decided to stay yet sometimes it seems he resents him. Other times he seems to love him as much as the others. I dont think dh really knows what he wants

Sorry for going on and on but i cant really talk to anyone in rl. If i talk to my family they worry, i cant really talk to in-laws because its their son and even though they know what he can be like it doesnt feel right. Usually i hide everything, gloss over the problems and put up an act in front of everyone making out everythings good but its got too much. If i dont tell someone what is really going on i will go mad lol

Oh Pebble you poor thing. I'm sorry that you are having such a tough time with (d)h at the moment. I really dont know what to suggest. Perhaps by having some space he might realise what he is missing. You must not bottle it up as you need your family and his to support you through this tough time. Sending you lots of hugs xx

Poor you Pebble. Don't know what to say really but didn't want to not answer your post. Sounds like you are having a tough time. You must look after yourself and the kids first - sounds like he is being a big kid to me and needs to do some growing up!!

Pebble it sounds like you are all suffering. He needs to realise he has his responsibilities now and must face up to it. I think you should talk to his mum, at least then she can talk it through with him in a non confrontational way. Also can someone babysit for one night and you and he go out for a meal and just to chat on your own? He might then feel that he has your attention..... Good luck.

Meadows Towers Boot Camp opened yesterday

DH has gone up to the Touring Cars this weekend and i am home alone, so decided to tackle J's sleeping as i think this is the root of his behaviour issues.

Last night J and i put Ella to bed and he saw how easily she goes to sleep - non of this sitting with her til she falls asleep nonsense. We pretended that he was also going to bed but actually brought him downstairs to have 'big boy time' with mummy (sitting watching tv on sofa having a cuddle). I explained him our new routine and how he needs to start sleeping as Daddy is so tired and Mummy wants to be able to take turns at bedtime. BBT is half an hour downstairs once Ella is in bed and then after that time he goes back to his room for 1 story. Light off, tucked in and kiss with 5 mins sitting on his bed. Took 15 last night but only as first night and i'm not Daddy.

Also threw into the convo that Mummy wouldnt be able to get into bed with him if he woke as i dont fit due to baby bump getting in the way. I went to bed fairly late hoping that he would have a good night and luckily he slept all the way through until 6.40 with Ella waking at 7.30. I told him how proud i was and that we would get a reward chart today and start filling it in.

It seems like i have a different little boy today apart from 1 or 2 little blips he has been really good and the atmosphere is much nicer.

Fingers crossed for a repeat performance tonight

Got everything crossed for you AM x

Thanks SKY! Must have worked

He went down fine for my Mum who followed the same routine - i went to a friends 30th birthday party. He woke at 5am (only because mum had left his bathroom door open so the light came in) came into my room - no shouting for me - and tapped me on the shoulder, climbed into bed and slept til 8am!

Ella woke at 6.30 full of beans but not even that woke him.

Told dh and he couldnt believe it

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to AOIFE hope you all have a great day in the sunshine x

Happy Birthday to Aoife x

pissed!

Scooot, my hands are hot!

AM how is that gorgeous football bump? you know it has to be the cutest roundest most perfect bump I think I've ever seen. Keep going with sleep camp, you know its the best way.

Peb, hope dh see's sense and grows up fasty

lg&t did you get to the glen? how was it?

Shit I knoew I'd forget............

HAPPY BURPDAY Aoife. x

Happy Birthday PJ, well as happy as it can be for you x Hope L is getting better x

Happy Birthday PJ. xxx

J is ot of nappies (except for bedtimes) as of today! 1 wee on the floor and one on the toilet so far this morning. She looks cute in pants. 7 days to clean and dry tops is my goal. We'll see if I eat my words next week. She is younger than H & M were.