Jan 09 - weaning,smiling,laughing and chatting and loads more fun to come:)

[stripeywoollenhat]

there.

my mum has nearly finished first coat of wall paint in brackens room

she looked in brackens mouth and doesnt think a tooth how can you tell!!

off to mums @ 2pm jut having pasta, cheese and mayo for lunch

Just got back from a morning of very dull coursework moderation...to a completely empty and silent house...am almost tempted to creep upstairs to bed and hope that no one notices me.

Moose- Sorry to hear about your mum, hope she's on the mend. at your DD sitting up!

Lenni- Arghhh for toddlers. DD coloured in our walls (white walls may I add) yesterday. It was eerily silent and when I walked back into the living room she had done a Jackson Pollock style mural by the fireplace, in the medium of crayon, very creative. Thank goodness for the healing properties of red wine/ whisky is all I can say.

Not really sure how often Jude feeds...quite a lot anyway

Hello, i'm sorry, i haven't caught up on thread yet.

I have been feeling really low, i have been taking the pnd medication for two weeks but i don't feel any better. Those of you who have taken them, how long did it take you to feel better?

There are lots of things i could be doing but i just don't want to do them. If i meet up with anyone, i get it into my head that they don't like me really or that they think i'm boring. Then go away paranoid that i am a bad person and uninteresting. Then on the otherhand when i isolate myself from people, i again think people don't like me and don't want to be around me.

I am struggling with dd and ds. I can look after them ok, it's just doing basic tasks that are becoming difficult to do. My mum helps out but i don't want to put upon her too much. MIL works during the week and there has been friction between me and FIL and step MIL of late, mainly because step mil is intimidating (ex "old school" teacher.) My dp works from 6am - 5-6pm so i am on my own with the children all day accept when my mum helps out.

Sorry for the downer post. I just don't want to be me anymore and if it wasn't for my kids, i wouldn't want to be here at all.

Oh MsSparkle you poor thing. 2 weeks is early on the medication front, it takes a few weeks for the efficacy to build up. You should have had a 2nd doctors appointment booked after two weeks anyway to discuss how things are going. Sometimes if there is absolutely no sign of improvement after a fortnight the GP may want to up your dose or try a different medication. I think it took about a month before I realised there was an improvement.

I totally get what you are saying about thinking people don't like you are think you are boring. I am exactly the same, we met up with a few of our old uni friends at a 40th birthday at the weekend and while I enjoyed myself whilst I was there, I have spent the entire time since (including the journey home) thinking that I was probably really boring and annoying as they all have jobs and lives but I am at home all the time with the kids.

I would try and get another appointment booked with your GP to discuss your treatment and (I think we discussed this before but can't remember what you said) you really do need some form of counselling as a back up to the medication. I know it can be difficult getting counselling through the nhs as there are waiting lists, there are a few online support groups that might be able to help though:

association for post natal illness

meet a mum

pni org

I really relate to your last sentence, that's just how I felt when I had pnd with DS2. Its such a lonely place to be, my heart goes out to you. Please don't feel alone, I find that just coming online and reading the other guys chatter helps me to feel part of something even if I don't feel up to posting myself. Remember we have all been through an amazing (and often very difficult) year together and even though we don't know each other in rl that does give us a bond and enable us to support each other. We are all here for you.

I know it's an easy thing to say, but try to hang on in there, things will get better, I promise. You really need to stay in close contact with your GP though, not all medications suit or work as well for all people and they will be able to assess the efficacy in your case.

Take care. x

mssparkle - am sorry you are feeling so low, think moose is right that you should check back in with your gp and although i know it's easy to say and not always easy to do, don't be so hard on yourself. it's difficult work, i am discovering, bringing up children, hard to keep any proper perspective when your personal space is so eroded and your main company hasn't reached the age of reason yet... also hope you are doing okay today, moose. am quite sure neither of you are remotely boring or annoying - and after all, it's not like paid work makes anybody interesting. you should meet some of my colleagues...

not that i plan to anytime soon (meet any of my colleagues, i mean) - we have decided that i should take the three year career break that's suddenly on offer in my workplace. i am a little anxious about this - being a dependent, maintaining my own identity (not sure how else to put that) but think it makes sense for c and i don't really like my job so am going to spend the three years redirecting myself...

am being summoned, best go and attend to the infanta...

MsSparkle I also am sorry you are feeling so low. Can't add anything about the ADs or counselling or going back to see your GP that hasn't already been said. Would it be worth you seeking out a PND support group? There are a few near to me and I'd imagine there might be one near you - perhaps your HV would know details?

Moose lovely to have you back and sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope she is better soon, and you too. We have all been worrying about you.

Dog I went to uni and moved away but still feel a bit like childless friends look down on me. I think TBH I probably was a bit bemused by children and parents until I had my own. But I think it's fab that you've had yours while you are still young, I wish I'd have had the confidence to go for it after we got married rather than waiting another 4 years.

Will catch up with everything else later. Have a childless visitor who has been less than complimentary about the DCs I understand some people don't like children (God knows why) but I really don't know why they think it is ok to make their feelings known about my children

MsSparkle so sorry you have pnd. Sometimes I feel like that (your last bit) and I didn't/don't have pnd. Its the drudgery, the loneliness, the never-ending days, the repetition... and moose is right, it sometimes takes several attempts to get the dosage or medication right, even when it's right, it still takes 3 or 4 weeks to begin to have an affect I find.

I have found things easier this time round in some sense, as I have some 'adult contact' every day (albeit in the form of internet sprites) and I get out every day without baby- luckily DH is working from home, so he has DS while I do the school run... yeah, exciting I know! (you know you all me! )

Exercise is a good thing for me too, when I start down the slippery slope, though goodness knows how you'd fit that in... I certainly can;t at present.

People on here (whole of mn, not just us lot!) are always here to talk- night and day... even if its just affirmation that this is how things are atm, or {{{{hugs}}}}, or being a listening ear- there's always someone around to support you virtually, and if you're worried about anonymity, name-changing is an option I've used lots.

Well just got back from having Zach weighed and for those of you that have seen the pictures it will come as no surprise to you that he is 18lbs and 13oz (eeek!). He is not 18 weeks till tomorrow and is now pushing the 98th percentile . Really need him to slow down soon or he will be to heavy for his stage 1 car seat. I put DD in her Stage 2 at 7 months cos she sat very well and was heavy enough but what do you do when they outgrow the first one but are no where near ready for the next??? Really can't afford an intermediate jobby either as being on just SMP now has really kicked in, I've never been so skint Need to get on freecycle methinks!
Just had a lovely day at family time and then playing in a friends garden this afternoon, DD still suprisingly good, few shaky moments but nothing out of the ordinary Zach is napping after amazingly getting by on about 20mins of sleep today!

Tink Glad your DD got the all clear!

Stripey A 3 yr break sounds great to me, wanna swap jobs????

HKZ I did chuckle at your DD's artwork then thought how annoyed you would have been. It sounds funny when people describe these antics but it just aint funny when it happens to you!

Elkie and Dog Zach's feeding very much has to fit in with our plans, he doesn't seem to be suffereing though! God we're all so evil to these second and 3rd borns
And Dog, try not to worry about the Jab, it is FAR better than either of yours actually getting measles which is still a very serious childhood illness.

Books I totally feel for you and your bad day. OH's make it seem so trivial sometimes don't they, when actually you are boiling mad . Glad the Whiskey sorted you! I hate it when DD hurts Zach, I just feel like she is not absorbing any of the caring values we have tried to pass on over the last few years (add to that manners and a general sense of decorum-toddlers just don't get it!).

MsSparkle and Moose- I am so sorry you guys are feeling like this. You both sound amazing people and remember that you have achieved in your families what many people only dream of. I think there is some good guidance on here from people who have been through it and sometimes talking to a 'Faceless' friend can be more cathartic and less tricky than chatting to a friend (no awkward silences etc!). It's so difficult to socialise when you are feeling low isn't it, but like others have said the company of a few trusted friends and family is worth its weight in gold.
And Moose at the sitting! Clearly a very determined little DD

Lenni- at your visitor, how VERY dare they!!! x

tink am surprised Bracken takes so little at 7.30am feed?!?! Esme is her hungriest then... As hasn't eaten for somewhere between 10-12 hours. Your HV can only advise you. Do what you feel best. Your her mother.

Lenni i too was a bit . I am starting to gather that while some Hv's can be very very helpful, others seem like they are barking up the wrong trees. I find it bizare that some HV's aren't mothers too! Its hard to take advice from someone who hasn't been there. i have seen the jumperoo... looks like great fun, Let me know what LO thinks of it... might invest in one myself! oh and sharing yout at HV.....

Stripey (And Lenni) Please feel Free to tell me shut up if you like.... But... Esme USED to feed MUCH more often. But, when she had a growth spurt about 3 months she started taking LONGER feeds, but less often. So, if....(ignore it if your not, just suggesting) you would like to feed less often, any POSSIBLY less/not at night (When Esme went longer between feeds, she also started sleeping 9/10 hour stretches) So it might be worth encouraging Lo's to feed MORE at each feed. Totally Emptying both breasts. I change Esme after on side, so she gets a break, and then she has a good go at the second one too. Yes i spend longer feeding, but its really worked for us both. I hope you aren't offended, just thought i'd let you know what seems to have worked for Esme and i... every baby is different!!

Books Sounds like our LO's feed v. similarly. Although i have no idea how much 2 boobs are in Oz.

Moose So glad to hear from you!!!! Massive Hugs.

Tree Glad you enjoyed time away.

missj Are you moved??

dog / PEachy xx

Hope i haven't missed anything or anyone!!!!

Off for a soak in the tub!

books phone does the job. camera VERY good. Managed to capture (video) Esme picking up one of her building blocks today and swiftly putting it.....yep, you guessed it, in her mouth! too cute!

Evening all.

Just a quick hello... have started to post about three times but stuff keeps happening...will catch up shortly! Hope its all ok in baby world

books - thanks, have no clue about where to begin with baby proofing - low bookshelves, freestanding stove etc.

ray - don't mind you saying at all, wish i could feed her less often but she has both breasts at nearly every feed, just think i don't produce that much milk . enough, but only if we both make the effort. bf counsellor has just recommended fenugreek caps, so am going to try that.

lenni - appalled to hear about hideously rude (and totally misguided) visitor. chuck 'em out, would be my (admittedly slightly immature) response to that...

tink, glad dd1 okay

also, books - phew re nipple.

eeek for the pox! We are avoiding it by the skin of our teeth here. No jabs for your guys then? And at all those parents who exposed their infectious children to the doglets! Who has it first?

Books- relief about the boobs .

Tree- sorry to hear colic still keeping you from Mnetting sleeping .

Think I just got myself into a meet-up. Yay! very excited but a bit scared about how it all works, what if nobody turns up? Has anyone been on one before, Elkie or EPPM perhaps? How did it work?

Dog Oh no for Pox!!!!

Stripey Ah, i see RE: milk. I know its a pain, but have you tried expressing in addition to feeding? I express at 9pm - so that for her 5pm feed, her daddy gives it with a bottle, and it also means my breasts are REALLY full for her 6.45pm feed before bed, so really tanking her up. Maybe expressing extra would produce more? maybe even for a few days expressing AFTER LO has emptied the boobs. I know you wont get any milk, but surely the suckling would stimulate extra milk? No idea what that is your HV has recommended- but good luck with it! Well done you for sticking at the BF - many people would have given up! so massive pat on the back for solidering on!

off to bed. OH at end of season dinner and just won players player of the year, in addition to the fans one! Briliant.

Oh no, Dog - not the pox. Good luck. Stock up on chocolate to keep you going. I hope Isla doesn't get it. Sometimes they escape don't they?

Thanks for sympathies re: visitor - was my brother otherwise I would have chucked him out. Fortunately his line softened a little through the day - was getting ready for a row at one point, huffing to myself in the kitchen, but he finally remembered DS's name which was a start

Stripey - low bookshelves not too much of an issue if they only have books on. Things that will be an issue are anything that could fall on them if they try to pull themselves up on it (you can buy straps to attach furniture that might topple to the wall - ikea do them I think), anything very hot on the outside (fireplace or if cooker is low down) and anything poisonous or valuable or electrical. We have cupboard locks in the kitchen as putting everything back in the cupboards all the time got to be infuriating. Some houseplants are poisonous and most are worth moving out of reach as babies tend to enjoy shredding the leaves. We have a rayburn which is always hot and have just taught DD "hot!" from an early age - we don't have a guard for it as it isn't instantly burning hot just make you jump back kind of hot iykwim and we've just been very careful around it. Just get on your hands and knees and have a good look round for things and move them or cover them. Anything above your knee height will be out of reach until she is starting to walk.

Ray - when I read your post I was sat thinking for ages why are boobs different in Australia God I need some sleep.

Talking of which DS has been a nightmare the last couple of nights. Waking all night, not taking a feed, generally unsettled. I'm thinking he might be teething as it is really out of character for him to cry in the night or to be fussing at his feeds. Normally he zones out on the boob but he's pulling off all the time and yelling. Tried winding him but even a good burp doesn't solve it. Any ideas?

Books - I was going to read that thread the other day but got waylayed by RL - will go find it now, when I've dealt with the noises coming through the baby monitor

lenni, will spend a while crawling around my house tomorrow

re brother; mind you, i have a sister who lives about 100 miles away who hasn't been to see c yet ( i think) so i know about uninterested siblings...

ray - i find expressing completely disheartening, i produce so little milk, and finding the time between her feeds is also tricky. but i should, i know. also need to teach her to drink from a bottle and she won't touch formula so better get the darned pump out, i guess...

dog re pox, hope isla doesn't get it

Think maybe he is ill just been in to feed and he is very very snuffly and a bit hot. Just in time for his welcome to the world party at the weekend...

Oh and no offence taken at suggestion of feeding from both sides Ray - it is a good plan. I seem to produce a lot of milk and struggle to get him to take the other side but I should be more persistant. I tend not to push it as DD is generally at her worst when I'm feeding him but really I would do myself a favour if I tried to get more in him in one go.