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Dec 08 mums - from rolling to sitting and everything inbetwean

997 replies

waitinggirl · 08/05/2009 18:20

there i've done it - hope that is ok.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Kayzr · 12/05/2009 09:40

Tilly I should get the bike next week I think. They get deliveries on Wednesdays but might be too late to be delivered tomorrow.

Dis Hello!!! Hope you are all well. DS2 is 22 weeks but not taking any food yet. He just dribbles it down his chin. I think if she is enjoying it then go for it!!

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 09:44

Lal - hooray! HOORAY!

Forgot to say - hello Effie!

Disenchanted - good to see you. For pete's sake, every single child does not magically become ready for solids after 6 calendar months, with dire consequences if you do it a little before. It is only a guideline. YOU know your child. I have given DD little tastes of baby rice but I am not doing it properly for another week or two, but that is mainly my laziness and a feeling she is ok with formula. Please please please don't feel you have to follow all the orders barked by a certain element on Mumsnet. It's wonderful in many ways, but...you know, don't let them boss you.

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 09:52

Oh, and Disenchanted, my DD is 24 weeks.

I know Indith, for instance, is hot on not weaning before 26 weeks and maybe Veggie too, but I heartily doubt they would deny that there may be babies who are ready before. But I don't want to speak for them

I've said this before, but I've been put off Baby Led Weaning simply by some of the sabre rattling on here about it (not this thread of course, where there is a wonderful sense of live and let live and general support for MOTHERING, whatever choices individuals make) but other parts of the board.

Disenchanted3 · 12/05/2009 09:58

Thanks,

I'm not feeding her chippy just yet

Just a few spoons of organic carrot as she gets so stressed at dinnertimes when we eat.

jumpjockey · 12/05/2009 10:25

Morning all. Firstly, Lal hurrah, that's fantastic news and you must be so relieved

trace huge hugs coming to you across the ether, really hope you got a bit of sleep and that it goes well with the doc today. The mastitis has been such a problem for lots of us

veggie am off to town today with any luck so will take a look in boots - though I may have been making it up

zj harumph to your dh, that's pretty pants of him to cut down to such a short time coping! Maybe he thought she was hungry and just didn't know the right signals. We're with them all day and so have (hopefully) got a better idea of what they're trying to say (but see my whinge below!). Hope he gives you a bit more time off after his suffolk trip.

LadyT your glamorous social whirl never ends! dd really put you to the test yesterday, did you get a decent rest overnight (apart from the screaming!)?

disenchanted hello! good to see you! re weaning, LadyT's quite right. Some of us have tried with no success, others having a bit more luck, whatever works for you (as long as it's not honey, still don't really get that?!) How are you finding being a mum?

am feeling a bit end of tethery here too despite the sunshine. DH got home at 9.30 in the end so we didn't have dinner/bed til late. DD woke up at 12, I said could he try to settle her for once as she'd had a big feed before 7 and if we're going to start thinking about putting her in her own room, there's no way I'm going to do every single night waking my only saving grace at the moment is being able to fall asleep in bed with her on the boob so am keen to keep her in with us a bit longer! So he picked her up, jiggled her round a bit for about 20 minutes as she got progressively more and more cross and decided that apparently shushing doesn't work well it does if you do it a bit louder! And just sitting looking at her as she cries is being there physically, but she doesn't know you're there. Looking at child does not = helping them back to sleep.

In the end she came onto the boob anyway as it's becoming the only way to get her to sleep at any time of day. She went off to sleep about 1, then woke again at 2, 3, 5.30 (needed a change, peed all over her vest again and woke up fully by the time she was changed and dressed - would have got dh to do this as night changes are usually his domain but was so deeply asleep I'd have had to yell to get him up), back to sleep by about 6, and woke up again at 8 for the day. Come 9.15 she's rubbing her eyes - I think surely this is a bit early but if she's tired she's tired. Rush to the cot, put her down, grizzling for 5 mins which turns into yelling for 10 mins despite being picked up and cuddled and shushed. She's in the sling at the mo looking exhausted but refusing to go to sleep. (nearly an hour later)

I just feel as if I don't know her signals at all any more - default to putting her on the boob for getting to sleep which means no proper pattern of feeding, she's still so distractable in the daytime that she does a max of about 5 mins at 'proper' feeds before pulling off and looking around and I can't force her back on - being in a darkened room helps a bit but that means we'd be imprisoned at home. DH keeps insisting that if I leave her to grizzle she'll find her thumb in the night - after 15 minutes of off and on thumb sucking and then flailing and yelling I just give up and about 2 mins of boob gets her off - but only lying down, if she's sat up with me as soon as she's horizontal she's off again, even if she's had a good burp. If we move her to her own room I foresee lots of nights where he lets her cry in the hope that she'll settle back, she gets really upset, I end up having to feed her off to sleep anyway. I asked him the other day how long he'd be willing to let her cry for and he said an hour it was one of those conversations where he said it was a joke but it seemed like her really meant it.

not sure what to do. He works long hours to support us (for which I'm enormously grateful) but this means I'm on duty from 8am til usually about 7pm, but that's when she goes to bed. Night time is also my domain. It's getting to the point where I'd really like him to give up some hours at work so I can get some help during the evenings and so he can see her other than at weekends. And so the "parenting" isn't actually all mothering, and so he gets to know her a bit better and realises that shushing does work, you just have to persist. Yes, she's usually a smiley lovely thing, but that's even more exhausting than a newborn in its own way.

right, has finally gone off to sleep. Hopefully she'll get a good half hour in and be cheery when she wakes. Why do they taunt us so with their tiny naps followed by waking up grumpy?

will be cheerier later, promise.

Disenchanted3 · 12/05/2009 10:34

Hi JJ,

I'm loving being a mum to a girl, already have 2 sons but all the pink is so much fun

I must come here more often, forgot how lovely you all are

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 10:45

Jump, I am worried about you. That is so unbelievably GRUELLING. I don't have any answers. I think she just may be a brainy baby who is so curious about the world that she doesn't want to miss a second, but that is no help to you now...Are you going to wean her at 6 months, do you think, or leave it later? When is she 6 months? 'People' say it helps them sleep at night though I am frankly sceptical...I just wish you could get some respite. DD is doing the 'I will not be comforted by anything except if I sit in your arms and you sing to me' routine again (and she NEEDS a nap) so I suspect I am in for another day of it, though as I said that is NOTHING to what you are going through with the sleep deprivation. Right, off to baby jiggle. Maybe home just doesn't cut it for her any more and she is missing her social life! It certainly feels like it!

jumpjockey · 12/05/2009 10:59

Oh LadyT you poor lamb - at least I can put her down and go for a wee. Hope she settles a bit for you - could it be early separation anxiety? Though she sounds like the kind of baby who's used to being with a lot of people other than mummy and daddy.

We're certainly going to wean as soon as she's ready but she was telling us she's not yet, so will just have to wait... she's 5.5 months at the mo so any time now - we just need her to be able to sit up a bit better on her own and stop the tongue thrust thing. Oh,. and gruelling? Motherhood has nothing on librarianship I really hope it is a signof intelligence and not just PITAness...

of course she woke up about 5 mins ago and is now on playmat farting like an absolute elephant.

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 11:22

Well, JJ, she does keep looking to see if I am still there, the poor little mite. Even when she is feeding she breaks off to turn around and peer at me. But she is with me all the time, even if others are there too, so I don't get it. I think it may be teeth though, she is even more keen to fiddle with her gums than usual and has a red face.

notjustanumber · 12/05/2009 11:27

JJ Your DD sounds like my DS1. No pattern of feeding and on and off the boob all day, fights really hard not to sleep, needs boob to sleep, and just very very hard work, needs lots of stimulation. I sympathise, I remember. I think it might be just the way they are - at 2.5, he is still the same, fights sleep, is hungry all the time, needs lots of stimulation . And he is very smart too .

In the end I did do some kind of CC and weaning in combination helped. Sorry, that may not be what you want to hear, but it was what sorted it in the end for me. A friend came round who had 2 older children and she forced me to put him down for a nap on his own (with some music to distract him) and almost had to phyiscally restrain me when he cried. It did work though, and he started to nap better when left to cry for a bit on his own, and I was able to get him into a bit of a routine, which was as much for his benefit as mine - ie he knew what happened and when he was tired - that being put down on his own meant it was time to sleep. And that way he slept for much longer at a time. Its really hard though.

DS2 is completely different. So I really do beleive its personality You will have a smart and inquistive little girl and it will be worth it !

jumpjockey · 12/05/2009 11:29

Sounds likely to be teeth then - have you tried any of the teething powders? I don't know if it made any actual difference but she does get excited at the sound of the sachet opening and gives a big gummy grin.

I think dd is on speed today - put her on the "no roll" changing mat while I went for the laundry basket, and came back to find her on her front then put her on a big blanket in the garden while hanging out said laundry and she did a 540! Still, wrigglepants though she may be she's crap at giggling so all balances out...!

notjustanumber · 12/05/2009 11:30

Kayzr enjoy the bike, I bought a new one too about 6 weeks ago. Have ridden it once !

LadyT Hope she settles a bit today for you. Sounds like thats the kind of day when I would have drunk a large gin at the end of it

jumpjockey · 12/05/2009 11:37

xpost njan. It's good to hear that worked out for you. It would certainly be easier if she had a bit of a routine - things like naps and tirednress seem to depend very much on how the night's gone and when she first wakes. We'll see if weaning makes a difference before going down the cc route just because i know i'd fail dismally at that on my own during the day.

have you found us on fb yet? We're called "December 2008 mums" and have 26 members at the mo, kayz is the admin so can approve you.

notjustanumber · 12/05/2009 11:38

sorry jj i didnt wish to sound like an arse when i said "this may not be what you want to hear". I dont think CC works for everyone or is an answer. I didnt want to do it that way myself and I think all babies are different. The gist of it was I sorted it in a way I really did not enjoy.

This is so different from tslking face to face isnt it ?

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 11:50

Well, funny you should say about the gin, NJAN. I had been really good all day (soup for lunch only, healthy supper, sesh on the rowing machine) and I was so frazzled I ended up having a soothing glass of tawny port. Large.

jumpjockey · 12/05/2009 11:51

njan not at all - no arseness inferred - am glad it worked for you even if it was hard to do.

traceface · 12/05/2009 13:37

hello
well I survived the doctor She didn't do an internal in the end - just looked at the outside and said it was probably a prolapsed haemorrhoid and to go back if it came out again but wouldn't go back in (sorry TMI). She was very kind to me - she could obviously see how nervous I was (the buckets of tears I was weeping seemed to give it away!). Also I do have mastitis so she has given me 2 weeks of antibiotics. joy. She was asking about P feeding/ sleeping and was pushing the CC thing, but I just wept and said "I can't"!!! Then I went round to a friend's house and another friend told me not to take my antibiotics because there is no need and that I should just take lots of showers and massage it better. Why is it that everyone knows how to bring up my child and look after me better than I do? I keep trying to ring my HV because I feel like I need a bit of support but all I get is the answerphone. P eventually settled to sleep at 3 last night and woke again at 6, but amused herself until 6.30. DD1 is being punished for last nights behaviour (she got naughty and refused to go back to bed) by being allowed no TV or toys or colouring today (dh's idea - great! what am I supposed to do with her from 3.15 till bedtime whie he's at parents' evening?!!!). Each night I hope for a better night...it can't get much worse so there must be an improvement soon...
JJ - sorry your nights are crap. I know what you mean about not reading the signals so well, and things that used to work not working now - I keep feeding P to sleep now which is a new thing for us and feels like a backward step - I guess it's all part of feeling our way through these tricky months where they are changing so much, so what they like and need is changing all the time.
She's having a nap at the mo so I'm just putting my feet up (although I should no doubt be showering and massaging my boob!)

traceface · 12/05/2009 13:39

oh i nearly forgot - Lal I am soooooooo pleased and relieved for you you must feel like a weight has been lifted. Jolly good news

EffiePerine · 12/05/2009 13:40

jj: re leaving to cry, I remember coming across an interesting theory that some babies dissipate their tension by (and so will cry then go to sleep) while others increase it (so cry and get hysterical). I know I couldn't leave DS1 to cry in the first year (and he was a crap napper and sleeper) but then he was able to grizzle for a bit then fall asleep. Hum. Not sure what I was trying to say other than sleep is complicated and I don't think there's an easy answer, but it's worth trying a few different things. DS2 is not sleeping well at night either (am prob feeding him too much but it's EASY and WORKS), DH is muttering about him going in DS1's room but I'm not keen on the idea of being up all night! He does nap pretty well during the day, esp if we're out and about. Will S nap in the buggy at all? Being stuck inside with a fractious baby is not fun. Also, if she's rolling she could be unsettled cos of that learning a new skill thing.

Sure I've posted this before but I love this blog on sleep and parenting: www.askmoxie.org/

esp this moxie.blogs.com/askmoxie/2005/12/quick_and_dirty.html

Teething: lots of chomping and dribbling here but no teeth as yet...

Lal: that's fab news, thank you for letting us know

EffiePerine · 12/05/2009 13:44

x-posts Trace . I did CC with DS2 but he was older (15 mo) and I don't think I could do it with DS2 now.

LadyThompson · 12/05/2009 13:58

DD has finally gone off for a nap but before I go and do some work, Trace, well done for being brave and going to the doc and feel free to tell me to shut up, but I am concerned about you being prescribed antibiotics and not taking them. I am a chronic cystitis sufferer and if it gets a hold, ABs are the ONLY thing to shift it and I would imagine mastitis is the same...But whaddooeyeknow. Arti or Veggie will know. You poor old thing. Hoping for a better night for you tonight.

traceface · 12/05/2009 14:05

LadyT don't worry - I have every intention of taking the ABs - I took them last time I had mastitis and they worked a treat. Not had a chance to go tot he chemist yet but I will go later. I was just baffled by someone being so sure that I should not take them. It feels worse to me than last time - much more widespread redness and more pain - so I will betaking them. Thank you for your concern. You're a very lovely Lady!

artichokes · 12/05/2009 14:20

Just running in to say YAY for Lal. I am so pleased for you. Fab, fab news! Hope the generic counselling is helpful. Do they offer that to all daughters of breast cancer sufferers or is it to do with the particular type of cancer?

artichokes · 12/05/2009 14:21

GeneTic not GeneRic. Bloody iPhone trying to second guess me.

tillyfernackerpants · 12/05/2009 14:30

trace hope the ABs take effect soon.

ladyt hope you manage to get work done while dd is asleep

jump sounds like you're having a tough time. Sorry I have no advice to offer just try & remember 'this too will pass'

Just about to take ds1 to drs, really hoping he doesn't have conjunctivitis but as it seems to be doing the rounds in nursery it doesn't look good!