Dec 08 mums - from rolling to sitting and everything inbetwean

[waitinggirl]

there i've done it - hope that is ok.

kayz thanks very much for the sponsor

Howdy everyone...

Loss Assessor has been out and agreed a price with the builder we chose So hopefully the builder can come next week to replace the ceiling and the carpet people are going to ring me to arrange to measure for a new carpet (no questions about even trying to clen it just a straight replacement). Plus we reached a settlement figure on my dining room table and chairs which were also ruined! I thought it would be a nightmare but the loss aessessor was so good and very reasonable about everything. Although I did make sure the DC's looked all sad and pathetic so he would feel sorry for me

Tried DS with sweet potato puree - loved it. Just tried with a little mashed banana, he now things I'm trying to poison him! Right off to toddler group the smell of damp plaster and carpet is getting to me.

DS2 is sleeping on me and i just got that strange tingly feeling like after a feed when your breasts are refilling. Was very wierd.

Great news Daisy .

And Kayz you are probably still producing milk. Are you still considering re-lactation?

Excuse the following boring description of my request to work part-time. But if anyone has any experience of negotiating part-time work I would be grateful for your advice.

I wrote to my employer asking for to return 4 days a week and to work 'normal' hours on those days (10-6pm). Before my maternity leave I was fulltime and although my conditioned hours were 10-6pm I regularly worked longer than that to do the job (I was not payed overttime but this is normal at my work where we have long holidays to compensate for long hours).

Today I got a reply that says yes I can work 4 days but they will not reduce my job description at all and I may occasionally have to be flexible and work 5 days a week. The letter also says that my conditioned hours will be 10-6pm but in certain circumstances I may have to stay later (so no change there then).

So basically they are saying I can do 100% of my old job for 80% pay and I cannot rely on being home for the kids' bedtime or being off on a Friday. This is obviously a nightmare for childcare.

Am I wrong to feel this is unfair? I am reasonably senior and the letter implies that at my level of seniority some flexibility is required (i.e. they would not expect senior staff to complain about hours and days etc). I am not really sure how to respond. I am the first woman at my grade to ask to come back part-time.

Is it normal to go back to a full job description when you are working reduced hours? How would you guys respond (Lal if you are around I would love your views as I know we work in similar organisations. Are you SCS? I got SCS just before maternity leave and the letter suggests that at SCS level you should just get on with it).

Just a quick note to say thanks for the well wishes for my hols, I'm getting excited now!

arti That sounds dreadful, although not uncommon. My friend was allowed to go 3 days a week but given a blackberry and is expected to respond to emails and phonecalls on her days off. Try posting in the MN employment bit, you might get some helpful advice on what to do next.

My boss is wanting to know when I'm going back . I'm going to broach the subject of PT hours and see what he says

veggie and tilly Could you please email me the links for your sponsorship? I don't want to forget but really haven't time to do it today. Thanks!

Right, must go and try and squeeze everything into the case. Byeeeeeeeeeee.

Hi all,
Not been on for bit, been away on a lovely weekend in Wales. Lots of mountain biking (well by current standards anyway), with DH and I swapping over at lunch! I miss proper cycling so nice to feel it is possible even with DS in tow, even if it means DH and I can't cycle together. I was thinking while cycling "This is so much fun, oh I miss this, why did I bother with babies?", but when I got back I got the biggest smiles and giggles I have ever seen from DS. I was away from him for 3 and half hours, which is by far the longest amount of time so far, while he is awake (been out in evenings, but he won't miss me then!). Ahhh....he missed me! DH admitted he was jealous but that it was very cute. Makes it all worthwhile!

daisy yikes to the falling in ceiling. Glad it is all getting sorted now, but it must be an awful hassle. But like everyone else said, at least no-one was hurt.

njan so sorry to hear about the family tragedy. It really does put things in perspective.

We should indeed arrange a cambridge meet-up. I am not doing a lot next week (but it is half term, don't know if this affects you?) The week after my parents may be around early in the week. jj do you fancy meeting up? And do you fancy actually doing something rather than just a coffee/lunch as you are travelling in? Will you have 2 children in tow?

arti that is crap re work. If you did go back on those terms do you think they would literally expect you to do exactly the same amount of work in 4 days (obv the job description would be the same, but practically would there be stuff you could palm off on others)? Is there anything that you could negotiate being taken out of your
job description? And maybe you could negotiate the working Fridays not being possible at late notice and only by prior arrangement?

pmk I had some period pains a few weeks ago. At least that's what I thought they were, but no period. Hope I am not preggers.. But I doubt it! I am still bfing so I assume no period is to be expected, but these pains were exactly like bad period pains. I am sure 5.5 months is fine for postnatal pilates. I reckon up to a year would not be weird.
Hey, how is the weight loss going?

kayz hurrah for the bike ride! Hope your legs are still attached.

Oh also i went to see my new nephew. He was a week old. All snuggly and newborn. Makes me clucky! My parents were there and they were amazed by how much bigger E was than him! Apparently they had been saying before we got there that they thought he might not be that much smaller than E as he is a big baby! I think it made us all realise how much they change over these first few months.

Arti I had given up trying because after a week of expressing I still hadn't got any milk out. So thought it was a lost cause.
I can't help with your job situation I'm afraid. I am dreading going back in August.

arti: is there a union rep you can talk this over with? If you're expdected to work more than 80% of your hours I'd expect more than 80% of the pay. I'm planning to go back on the same basis I've been since DS1, i.e. 85% of my hours over 4 days, but I'm not expected to work overtime (I do if necessary)

better go, DS1 tearing up the place

Any help greatly appreciated. He is currently yelling that he needs his dinner(despite being fed)

Just popping in to say "hello". arti your work situation sounds horribly unfair. Is there any room for negotiation? LadyT I don't know how you're going to do the work/childcare mix you're planning - but I do know that if anyone can do it, it's probably you! Syb sorry re yesterday but was at work. (I am properly back on 4th June .) If tomorrow suits you I am free!

DH should have heard officially re his part-time hours yesterday but his school is having a PR nightmare at present due to a nasty post-Ofsted report written about them, so the Principal has used that as his reason for not having sorted out his response about hours yet...(that sentence made more sense in my head!)

DD2 is doing well weaning-wise, though I had forgotten how intense the hormone rollercoaster is when you cut down massively on breastfeeding. Crikey. I'm still feeding morning and night but the rest of the day is bottles... cue weepiness, grumpiness and general out-of-sorts-ness (and that's just me! )

Back anon...

Hi everyone, hope you're all well? Just bookmarking myself, as it seems like an age since I've been on. DD's 'phase' of hardly sleeping in the day is becoming very high maintenance - I mustn't complain as she's still sleeping well at night, but blimey, I'm a non stop entertainer from get up to bedtime (and anyone who works with children - you are amazing to do it day in and day out for more than just one who isn't even your own bundle of joy).

Going to try to catch up on all the goings on now xx

hi all - dh does have shingles (not as painful as yours, arti, i'm glad to say), which is an indication of how stressed he is. doctor said there was such a small chance of him infecting anyone with chicken pox, that we needn't worry.

question for you all: we are going to a wedding and have a room in a hotel. my dad is also in the hotel, but not in the neighbouring room. we need to leave madam to sleep in a darkened room, so how do you do it? would you leave a baby asleep in a room with the baby monitor on while you go to the restaurant/another room to watch tv/eat (scary shades of madeleine maccann)? or should we put her in the bathroom (didn't you do this, arti?) while we live it up in the main room? any advice?

Does anyone else have a very early waking baby ? If the mornings are bright, he wakes very early, today at 5am. Am knackered.

SL I am relatively free for a meet up, I cant do the 27th. Perhaps best to wait until the week after anyway as things will be busy at half term ? I will have 1DS mon-wed and 2 thur and fri

NJAN: DS2 not so much of a prob on the early wakings as DS1 - have you tried blackout blinds? Am considering getting some of those travel ones that stick to the windows.

Morning all, sorry that my first post in a few days is a moan, but I literally had NO SLEEP at all last night - T was awake every hour with mystery crying, I assumed it was teeth as he's been v dribbly and gnawing everything but he calmed down when i picked him up so thought it unlikely? Anyway, the times he wasn't crying i was coughing myself silly to the point of being sick, must have some sort of throat/chest infection. T also still has cough after 5 weeks and is still coughing himself sick. DP is away for work and am feeling v sorry for self, apologies. .
Back when I'm in a better mood.

Morning all,
another 2am then every hour waking baby... NJAN I was putting it down to jet lag for mine as I just got blackout blinds, but now I think it could be a combination of the time zone he's on plus perhaps teething after reading Spots post
Spot - the exact same weird crying here... he doesn't seem hungry and the dummy doesn't work for very long but if I pick him up - done, it fixes everything. Might get some of that powder and see if it makes a difference.... how long does it numb for though? Spot, so sorry to hear about your night but you are not alone - trust me...
WG I would def do the bathroom thing if need be - I haven't had that issue as B will sleep in any noise / light (actually sleeps better, prob due to being dragged to pubs / restaurants with the family over at 1 week old I plonk ds down at the end of the table or in the corner of the room in a hotel or even under the table to block the light a little and leave him in the carseat etc... sometimes I prop up the carseat with an extra blanket to make it more flat and he sleps better.
DS has this thing where he only wants to sleep on his side or totally face down at the moment so I am constantly checking he is breathing! (Anyone else having this?) At night I still put him on his back between the pillow wedge thing but if he wakes he wants to be turned - If I don't use the wedge he twists right around and gets all twisted up however I might try and ditch it again now as he is in his sleeping bag and not being swaddled anymore....

Morning

Pmk DS2 always sleeps on his side or front now but he always turns his head to the side. I just leave him as he always rolls straight back over. DS1 did it too and I spent about a week not sleeping as I was constantly turning him back over. It was hell.

Can you tell me your bedtime routines please?

We're going to start DS2 in a routine now as he will be going to his room in a month or so. At the minute he goes to bed with us so that he gets some time to play on the floor without being force fed cakes, jumped on, have cars driven over him or have DS1 trying to kiss him all the time. But now he spends most of the time after his 7pm bottle asleep either on one of us or the floor.

spot So sorry to hear about your hellish night. I wish I could suggest something but I haven't a clue! I hope you soon feel better, is there anyway you can get some sleep today?

Re: bedtime routine. DS gets bathed/washed & ready for bed with DD between 6/6.30pm. Then he has a feed and is usually in bed at 7pm till he wakes about 1/2am. He kind of 'fell' into this pattern himself. I think he is so tired by this point as he refuses to sleep during the day (although he is napping now!).

Can you believe we now have a leak coming from the stop-tap! My FIL is coming round shortly as he thinks it may just need tightening up after Monday's shananigans. I hope he's right I can't bear anymore floods/leaks/plumbers/quotes/builders/insurance company........

Hey who is "LF" on facebook? I thought it was Daisy but it's not!! Now I'm confused!

LF is a bit of a lurker ATM. She's worried about someone reading her posts so is in the process of changing her MN nickname so she can join in.

Kayz, normally, (when ds not back from travel) He feeds at 6am, 10am, 2pm, 6pm usually naps in the morning one or 2 times - varying lengths, and again in the afternoon but sometimes as short as 40mins or as long as 2 hours. After 6pm feed I (sometimes ) give him a bath and then goes to bed in cot anywhere between 7-730pm then wake him at anywhere between 1030-1130pm for feed then sleeps and usually don't here from him until 5-6am this is all give or take half an hour or so however... since getting back from trip abroad it has all gone a bit tits up and the only thing he still does is sleep at 7pm-11 ish but last night he woke himself at 10pm... then the wakings all bloody night from 2am [tired vv tired]

I've just registered the boys at school!! I can't believe I have to do it this early.

Going to try to put DS2 to bed at the same time as DS1.

hello all, sorry for the dreadful nights going on and mucho sympathy. We have put blackout stuff up and it worked for the first night only , she's now back to usual pattern but with the added joy of waking herself up not long after sleep time having rolled onto her front. As well as her general grizzling and refusing to settle unless i just chuck her on the boob she now wakes at 4.30-5.30, plays on her own for a bit then gets cross that we won't get up with her, won't go back to sleep until she's had a good half hour yell (I gave up this morning and virtually threw her into the cot in the other room quiet for a few min then dh took over ) but the weirdest bit is she usually will happily sleep next to me for a couple of hours from about 6.30-8.30 once dh has got up. i do worry that she's just not getting any decent stretches of sleep during the night, maximum of about 3-4 hours then from midnight she's so active and grumbly.

~wg we're off for the sil's wedding too this weekend, haven't yet thought about how to get her to sleep in travelodge room on the way up - probably dinner in shifts while the other one sits with her in a darkened room!! we did ask for a room near the cafe so we could use the listener bit not feeling too confident. it's our first time staying away from home so no idea how it's going to go

bedtime routine - big feed at about 6-6.30pm. bit of playing, then put n her beby einstein sleepy music cd. bath at 7ish which she usually likes, bit of a massage with sleepy baby cream, feed and a cuddle 7.30 ish then put her down in her bedside crib with lullaby music so she's asleep at 8. sometimes this goes like clockwork, other times (eg last night) she won't settle so i go up and feed her to sleep on my bit of the bed then move her across omce she's properly under.

bedtime used to be 7.30 but that meant dh hardly got to see her. we hoped by moving it a bit later it also would delay her first waking until i'd had a bit of sleep, but no dicer, she wakes up just the same... veggie i think it was youwho had some info about sleep before midnight being the most important for brain development?

How's my spelling!! Struth! apols in advance - tired [sleepy]