Fab Feb 2009: baby coos, stinky poos - three months on...

[dinkystinky]

so here we go again

I need to vent, and you ladies are getting it, as for reasons which will become clear I can't tell DH. I went over to see a friend of mine yesterday afternoon. She loves Alex and always wants to hold him and carry him around. Unfortunately she's a bit awkward with babies (she doesn't have any of her own yet) and I always want to move him around in her arms or even just take him off her because she holds him so badly. He always looks so uncomfortable poor little chap.

Anyway, yesterday she dropped him. Can you believe it? My poor, poor little boy. It sounds worse than it is as she was lowering him down to the ground at the time to lay him on a blanket (fortunately it was one of those blankets with animal heads on it that are all full of cushioning and it was on grass so a fairly soft landing)so it was probably only from about 30cm off the ground and he was flat at the time, but still, she dropped my baby. He absolutely screamed and it took a good few minutes to calm him down, poor little mite. He's fine and I think the screaming was more from the shock than from him being hurt but I was SO upset. I managed to completely keep it together in front of her as she was totally devastated, I could see she was having to stop herself from crying and she was very apologetic but all I could think was 'You DROPPED my beautiful little boy.'

I can't tell DH because he would be completely furious. He's naturally very protective and I know that if he knew about it he wouldn't want me to go and see her with Alex again or let her touch him, which would be very awkward as she's a good friend. But I must admit it does mean that I'm going to be really wary next time I see her and probably watching her like a hawk. I think I'm also going to have to ask her not to mention it in front of DH as if for any reason at all she decided to bring it up and I hadn't told him that would no doubt make him even more furious. I found it really hard last night when he got back from work as all I wanted to do was tell him but I knew I had to hold it in.

Phew, there you go, it's off my chest and hopefully telling all of you will help with managing to keep it from DH!

QK! I would feel exactly the same in your position. Thankfully it wasn't worse and was mainly shock.

I can imagine how awfully devastated your friend is too poor woman (I hated holding babies before I had my own because of that fear) I'll bet she wont ever drop another child in her life!

QK Glad Alex is ok. They really are tougher than they look, and it could have been alot worse. When ds1 was 6 days old, I knocked the pushchair over while he was in it, at 3 weeks old, he was in his mosses basket and I dropped that from prob about my knee height. At 4.5 months, ds1 started to sit up on his own but was always falling over banging his head even though I'd surround him in cushions, he always managed to find the bare spot. And then a few weeks ago, I fell over while I was holding Luke and he hit his head on my laminate floor.
I can completely understand your fear and upset, it'sd one thing to drop your own baby but for someone else to do it must be just awful.
In all honesty, you and your friend were probably in a worse state than Alex and he would have forgotten all about it by now too.
I can also imagine what your friend may be feeling. A few years ago, I was holding my friends dd on my lap (she was a bit older), and I was chatting to her mum and all of a sudden, the lo lunged herself forward and smacked her head on the edge of the table. Massive bruise came up straight away, but I cried more and longer than she did! I felt so awful, this poor little baby had been injured through my negligence. Luckily her mum was really good and didn't seem too upset and was able to shrug it off as these things do happen. the little girl is 6 now and I sometimes look at her and me and her mum have a good old laugh about it now.
The only positive I have taken from these little accidents with my 2 is that it leaves you alot more relaxed and calm about it as they et older. Wait til Alex is throwing himself off of sofas and things, and you'll be alot better about it because you already know he'll survive
Your friend wouldn't intentionally harm Alex and she probably feels just awful.

QK how scary for you. I'd have been hysterical if someone did that to Harrison. I would imagine him screaming was more shock than anything else. A couple of weeks ago I was getting Harrison dressed on my bed and as I took his top of I gently dropped him back onto the bed from a siting position. No more than a few inches and his little arms shot out beside him and his eyes went like saucers and he sceamed his little head off. I know he wasn't hurt, just frightened.
You probably did the right thing not mentioning it to your DH as I know if a friend of mine dropped Harrison DH would go mad and would probably ban me seeing her.

LBB are you going to the summer meet up whenever it is?

I think it was more the shock that was horrible for all of us than anything else. Alex because it's not nice to be dropped, my friend because she couldn't believe she'd done it and me for seeing my little boy falling. If Alex's behaviour in the supermarket just now is anything to go by (screaming with laughter as I tickled his feet) then it's all completely forgotten for him for sure. My friend sent me a jokey text after I'd left last night about something completely unrelated, and to me that was her way of sounding me out to see how I was going to be with her. As far as I'm concerned it's basically forgotten, except for next time she holds him when I'll be watching very closely!

It's good to hear that your two have survived a few bumps and scrapes LBB, I'm sure this is just the first of many such incidents. I'm still wondering if I'm chancing my luck with leaving him on the changing table, every time I leave the room to get something I'm half expecting to hear a big thump as he falls off even though it's got a lip on it that he'd really struggle to get over!

Unbelievable weather today, I've just bought lots of ice lollies in the supermarket and am going to retire to the garden with Alex to sit under an umberella and enjoy some fresh(ish) air.

When is the summer meet up by the way, has it been confirmed?

QK ref meet up, think there were mutterings about the week commencing 22nd June but nothing more said than that. Think we are all open to suggestions

QK poor you, and poor Alex, and poor friend too. Unfortunately these things do happen and it sounds like you've all got over it quite well. I definitely wouldn't leave him unattended on a changing table now. They're very good at doing things when you're not watching. I've only seen Tarran roll over 3/4 on to his front so far but DH has see him go all the way.

MoS Yeah, I'm hoping to go to the meet-up. I held Tarran of thom at the last one accident free.
Most people take a bit more care with other people's dc's anyway don't they?
QK Yeah, there have been a few times where I haven't fully engaged my brain fully, but these little accidents really do help me to stay calm now. I remember when I was pregnant with ds1, me and dp were in the high street and this little boy was running up the street and fell over and scraped his knee quite badly and I remember telling dp that I'd be in a state if that was my child. Now, it's ok. Ds1 can get a bit upset when he falls over but a hug normally sorts it.
Even now when ds1 falls off the sofa, my heart races and I have that split second of fear that he has seriously hurt himself, but I don't make a big deal out of it unless he does, most of the time he just gets up and does it again .
Hope this doesn't offend you, but I definitely wouldn't leave the room unless Alex was strapped safely in a bouncer or similar or laying on the floor away from any dangers. He will pick a time you are out of the room to roll over for the first time. It happened to my friend. She left her ds laying on the sofa, popped into the kitchen, heard a thump and a scream and he was laying face down on a hardwood floor! But again, that made her feel less guilty and worried when he had accidents of his own as getting to toddler stage.
thom Tell mos Tarran was fine with me
Luke's at that stage too, he just needs to move that arm and he'll be all the way.

He's been in the door bouncer today and yesterday and loves it! Ds1 has been good and hasn't tried to swing him yet, but also finds it very funny, so Luke is there bouncing, and Jacob is there jumping and they both really laugh at each other. So cute. That kind of thing makes all the tough bits well worth it.
Luke is also reaching out for things now and earlier I had him sitting on the floor infront of me and I was holding his hands and he was moving his feet and trying to push to standing. I had to tell him just to slow himself down a bit.

Evening all. Had a nice weekend down in Brighton at MiL's - we were at the beach yesterday (Danny's first trip to an english beach - DS1 and DH both went in the sea and am sure it wont be long before Danny gets introduced to the joys of the big blue sea). I saw sooooooooooo many very red people though - they must be in so much pain today.

QK - it sounds like Alex might be teething as THOM said. DS1 was just like that, including tugging at his ears with a slight temperature, during his worst teething bouts.

MoS - hope you enjoyed your swim. I hope your brothers can hold off on the sorting of things till you get home and you find it really cathartic.

Pink - god, glad the electrocuting wasnt worse - sounds scary!! The unconditional parenting style sounds interesting - great if its saving your sanity and showing good results too.

So, summer meet up - week of 22 June. Can do most days that week - How does Tuesday 23 June sound ladies?

Hey all - QK if I were you I'd say something to your friend that she doesn't always gold him right so you're a bit more relaxed when she has him. We had to do it with John's dad and I'm now much more comfortable when he holds M.

Put her down last night and when I asked John to get her out of her cot he asked if I'd moved her on to her back during the night. No, says I - she's rolled over!!! Clever little mouse!

Sorry that should be 23 June..

QK - also meant to say so sorry to hear about Alex's scare. Bet your friend was as shocked as Alex and you were and still feels really terrible about it. Thank god it was only a small distance onto a relatively soft surface.

Well done to M. You're in trouble now

Yup - eyes on stalks now lbb

Bums, can't do 23rd. Can we do 25th?

MOS - can you give me any advice here?

Hi all....back from my few days away and it feels like ages.

Spotty - sorry to hear about your DS and hope there might be more positive news for you soon.

Sorry those of you with lurgies/bad nights...

QK Scary when they fall/are dropped - I fell down the stairs with DS when he was 10 months old in the middle of the night and he fell against the windowsill en route. It was the scariest thing and he still has the scar to show for it (we landed up in A&E at 4.30am)....it is scary but as others have said they are resilient and I bet your friend felt worse than she let on.

Had a fab time in Camber. Weather was glorious and we did the Dungeness to New Romney miniature steam train - with 4 boys aged 7 to 2 you couldn't fail to please them really. We spent hours on the beach. DD was an absolute poppet - I almost wonder sometimes if she was swapped at birth without me realising....DS really was a nightmare so I suppose it's a bit of a shock and I am absolutely adoring her. She just sits around grinning at everyone, dribbling squealing and shuffling her chubby legs around in her bouncy chair - her little bottom two teeth poking through. She has made me very very broody again but I really don't want to push my luck. My mum had her in her room in Camber and she slept from 7 -7 with a quick feed late on. DS on the other hand was whingeing at 4.15 am but got a short shrift and was off again. Otherwise he had a ball running round the beach naked with his cousins.

I then went off for a girls 24 hours yesterday and stayed at a pub on the river with rooms with 3 girlfriends who'd all left their kids at home with other halves. We sat by the Thames yesterday near Abingdon, eating and drinking gassing nineteen to the dozen followed by dinner in the pub and a 2 second stroll to a comfy bed and a cooked brekkie this morning !.....

Oooh this is the life I tell ya. It beats the week on week daily boredom of cooking washing, playgroup, nursery runs, coffee shop and food shopping !

Lots to sort out this week so back to earth with a bump but the plus side is that we're off to Greece on Saturday for a week.....Hurray!

Don't worry I'll be Miss Miserable Negative again very soon I'm sure. Must be this sunshine.

Glad you had a good time Dinky. I might be able to make the 23 June....No DS that day so I'd only have DD which is much easier if I'm travelling to London.

Let me know what's organised. I'd love to meet the other Fab Feb babies....(ooh and the mums too)

herb Glad you had a good time.
I love it when you can just see the tips of the first teeth, is sooooo cute!
Sounds like a lovely evening by the river with the girlies. Need some of that myself I think!

That sounds like a lovely few days Herbgarden. No wonder you sound so happy and well rested.

Sorry PSL - 25th June is pretty much the only day that week I cant do.

Hi everyone! Been lurking for a while but not posting (well, I was never great at that anyway!). Having a pretty rubbish time of it still with Sam . Still waiting for an appointment with the paediatrician so I'm going to camp out at the GP's tomorrow with tears and everything. It's getting to the point where I just don't want to wake up in the morning - I don't mean that in an "end of the world" way, just that I don't relish the prospect of another day juggling a screaming, vomitting, scabby baby with entertaining a toddler and doing all the other things necessary to run a household! Sam's now being sick after every feed . Those of you with reflux babies, is the vomit clear? That's what Sam's is at the moment, which the HV thinks is stomach acid - it would explain the blood curdling screaming. Honestly, we get a couple of smiles a day, but that's it, the rest of the time I'm close to tears trying to stop him crying. Sorry for all the moaning, it's just I thought things would start getting better now he's 3 months. Life is on hold really - we don't feel confident enough for a few days away - even day trips can end in tears for everyone.

I've only scrolled back a couple of pages so apologies for the lack of personals, but MOS I was so sad to read your news about your mum - but I hope you enjoyed your swim earlier. Spotty have got everything crossed for you and DH xxx

Herb it's lovely to read about your DD and good to know you've got an angel after a difficult DS. I have the opposite - DD was a star baby, then there's Sam..... Am of your 24 hours with the girls. What a great idea, it's got me thinking!

Would love to meet up with you all later in the month, so count me in.

LBB thanks again for your FB message - will reply later! Have had lots of tears over the weekend so will be asking the GP for advice tomorrow - I need to do something now!

Off to bed now - I need sooo much sleep these days!

i drove to kildare and back to day for a joint dropping off kitten and going outlet store shopping expedition

had my mother aunt and cousin with us (and aaron) and got lost on the way there but had a lovely day shopping. the man who took the kitten gave me a ridiculous amount of money in a voucher for the centre so the wedding outoft i bough t was basically free so i had a bit of extra cash to pick up a few bits for dd and some shoes for myself.

very pleased and the 3 adults to one baby ratio for shopping definitely beats my usual one adult to 3 babies ratio

and best of all dd didn't freak out at me leaving and was happy out so it's looking good for the wedding at the end of june (coz lord knows i wouldn't enjoy it much of she was at home in hysterics!)

i'm burnt on one side due to the 5 and a half hours driving... hope everyone else is enjouying the sun

QK at your friend... bloody hell, i'd have ripped her head off... well done for staying calm.

Aww your DD sounds lovely herb! and well done M! (can I assume PSL is Mrsy?) and STW - is it in the name do you think? are all Sam's screamers???? I also spend most days not wanting to face the toddler entertainment and life juggling so you have my sympathies.

That said, we've just spent the day at my mums and the whole time he was outside in the shade he was lovely!! Very rare occurance (I've been up since 2.30am) Had lovely dinner made for me - roast pork (sorry MOS), TWO puddings, glass of wine and two liquers!!! Met my lil bro's new girlfriend and she's a doll which i'm so glad about. She brought her jack russell round which sent harry up the wall - I have never heard him shriek so loudly!!! He is still up in his bedroom running around shouting "doggy doggy.... grandma's..... yesssss" must go and try and settle him for the 3rd time!

Result at wedding outfit PT

Helloooo

STW- I'm so sorry you're having a tough time. I really hope you can get things sorted soon for your own sanity.

QK- Good god. I have to say I would be beyind mortified if I was your friend (instead of a random buggy stealer and lecturer on your lurking-not-posting ) and I admire your resolve not telling your DH.

Talking of the rolling thing, I woke up the other morning to find Frank had rolled over and stuffed one arm down the small gap between the bedside cot and the bed but was still sleeping peacefully despite looking horribly uncomfortable. It took me a while to figure out how to extract him.

I have been giving him different things to hold. His favourite so far appears to be the egg whisk which he holds and gently beats himself about the head with unintentionally and DD rolls about on the floor laughing at him which he thinks is great.

It must be in the name spotty and STW My DS (as you have guessed of the same name) is and was hard work - gorgeous but hard work and still is !...

STW I do feel for you as my best friend I was with this weekend had a very very difficult time of it with her DD (same age now as my DS) with full on colic and difficult feeding and as it was her first it made her very nervous about having no 2. She is now pregnant again (her DD is nearly 3 and a lovely toddler) but we were talking about it this morning and as she says no 2 can't get much worse than her DD was so she feels hopeful at least. It must however be incredibly hard for you with a toddler in tow too - your tolerance levels for whatever life throws at you must get pushed higher and higher. You will look back on this and not quite believe you got through it but that doesn't help right now when you're sleep deprived and at your wits end but taking every day as it comes is really all you can do. Hang on in there - you sound like you are doing what you can to cope with it and when Sam turns a corner (which he really will) you can enjoy him to the full...My DD will probably turn into the monster toddler - no-one seems to escape some horrible period or another do they.

PT glad you had a more relaxing shopping experience - I really would have stuck to the online shopping after I read about your last experience !..

PS Dinky meant to say - I know you said DS1 was swaddled til a few months old but have you tried Danny in a sleeping bag after the swaddle antics? I was umming and ahing until I realised we were off on holiday to a hot place and I wasn't keen on her being warmly swaddled so gave her a go with the sleeping bag one morning about 3 weeks ago and she seemed to be ok with it and then just went cold turkey (I could also see she really wanted to eat her hands/fingers) and she was fine. I'd started to come in in the morning and find her out of it so I think she was starting to tell me she wanted it.....

Just a thought ! I'm sure you've considered it.....

QK sorry about your little's shock. It must have been so nasty for you all.... I will tell you a little story now but you must wipe it from your memories as if I dwell on it too much it gives me nightmares still... When DD was 4 days old she woke for a feed, dp and I were exhausted so I thought I would take her downstairs and feed her so dp could sleep through it (she never went back to sleep after feed).. To cut a long story short I fell down the stairs and let go of her half way down. We had an open plan staircase at the time and i saw her rolling into space. i managed to grab her before she went over the edge of a 6foot fall onto concrete floor....

Ambulance was called and she was fine but the thought of me dropping my 4 day old baby and almost killing her haunts me to this day so I do know how you and your friend feel......

Right must forget this now...

Oh my god just remembered she folled off my mums bed as well which is as high as my hips (parents are disabled so they have a hight bed) when she was only 5 months old!!!

Dont let me hold any babies at the meet up either!!!!