Fab Feb 2009: too sleep deprived to think of a new thread title

[dinkystinky]

'nuff said

Katieblirdsnest I am a big fan of routine and had a very strict one for ds1. I know it's not for everyone, but I really found it helpful in keeping my own sanity, if I had a rough idea of what was going to happen, when and how, I found my days pretty easy, after a few months I also felt that it helped ds1 in terms of sense of security and structure. In hindsight, I'm not completely convinced a strict routine is a good idea, ds1 now gets very distressed if something happens out of pattern, i.e. not going straight to bed after a bath.
Now that ds2 is here, it is quite difficult to get him into a steady routine beacuse there isn't as much time iyswim. What happens in this house really is that ds's routine is pretty much the same as it's always been and ds2 fits into that really. You'll prob find it all falls into place on its own, and taking dd to and from nursery is a routine in itself isn't it?
My routines at the moment are mainly focused around wakings, naps for ds1 (I leave ds2 to fall asleep during the day as and when he wants to atm, but in a few months, I will structure that too) and bedtimes.
Don't put too much pressure on yourself to do it though. I have now realised my days are alot easier if I'm not panicking about it being 8:30 and I'm not in the shower......

PT I would love DS to wake somewhere between 7am and 10am - that would be a treat Instead I fear my little man takes after his mother and is strictly a morning person ...this is not usual - but sadly this morning he stirred at 4.45am and never really went back to sleep. Usually though he wakes around 6.10 - 20 and that's it. He will though get into bed with DH and let DH sleep and just sort of lies there sucking his thumb and being quiet. If he gets in and I'm there he pesters me and won't keep still. DD on the other hand slept from 11.15pm to 7ish last night so if he hadn't have stirred and woken us up we'd have had a good night all round - typical eh? He seems to be getting worse as she's getting better. I'm about to start the magic light on the timer if it continues - we had a 5am spell in October last year and it was a killer. Maybe it'll get better when he starts school. Does your wee man start school in Sept '10 over there? We only have one intake in this county so DS will only just be 4

M managed to get herself into a routine at about 5 weeks. We always fed 4 hours +/- 30 mins, and then she started going longer in between her feeds at night. She now goes anywhere from 6 and 8 hours between her late night feed and her morning feed. I don't adjust the day feeds, I just feed her four hours or so, after she had her morning feed. This means it's a bit hard to plan things in advance - we just have to work out the day based on when she woke up... Most of the time we are on 7am, 11am, 3pm, 7pm, 11pm. One of us does the last feed and then the other will do the 7am (depends on if John's working or not).

During the day, she varies in terms of sleep. Sometimes she'll be awake for just her feed and burps, and sometimes she'll want playtime and goes almost till her next feed is due. Today she has slept loads, but it doesn't usually effect how long she sleeps at night.

KatieBN Another non-routine person here but only because that's what suits us. In my previous life (before DS1) I had a full-on job that required me to be in a routine and I would definitely have described myself as quite anal and very self- disciplined. I totally amazed myself when DS1 was born by turning into a go with the flow earth mother-type and found having no routine meant I was happier, more relaxed, felt less conflict in my life and more able to seize and enjoy opportunities and invitations as they came up. But if having a routine is what keeps you sane then go for it!

BTW, fancy meeting up at It's a Kid Thing one day?

I'm sorry to hear some babies are still suffering colic/undiagnosed stuff. I sometimes worry about some of Tarran's behaviour with regard to possible lactose intolerance but it's not constant enough for me to think it really is that. It's such a shame they can't tell us how they're feeling.

I tried to re-post straight after my last one just to say I am bypassing all the potty-training talk as just the thought of doing it brings me out in nervous shivers! Am not looking forward to those days, although we have just started talking to ds1 about poo and pee-pee. When I see that he's doing something, I ask him about it and talk about it in hope that when we come to potty train he will be nearly recognise the sensations........not sure if it'll work, but not harm in trying.

thom I'm completely opposite to you, when I was working, I was also led by routine, and because I was the boss, I was used to being in charge and had major issues with letting go of that. I don't regret the way I did things with ds1, but I'm not being as strict with ds2, but then having 2 dc's it's not easy to have everything quite as regimented as I'd like, but I'm slowly learning to hand over a certain amount of control to them (within reason)

My dad and dp have got the bloody football on (well dp atm is getting ds1 to sleep) so I'm here for the night I think....

herbie... my 2 wake at random times, often late but when they wake they wake screaming roaring, running around shouting, killing each other an dgenerally being little shits.

i think at this point i'd take a snuggly thumb sucking 6am wake up over this pair maurauding around

i can start caleb at 4 or 5, whichever i want. he'll be going at 4 for 3 reasons
1)it gives him more options in later years to stay back or take a gap year before college
2) another little boy who'd 3 days older will be starting too so he won't be the only little one (most people wait til 5 to start them)
3) he's already taught himself to recognise the letters of the alphabet in both upper and lower case and has a facination with letters and numbers. the playschool don't do any educational stuff (by parents request, i'm not complaining!) and he loves to learn so he'll be better off in school than playschool for 2 years.

it's weird in a way though as he'll be in a class with kids the same age or even a month or so older than dd! although it's a tiny school so they'll be in the same classroom for 2 years anyway and then on alternative years so it might not be as noticable to them.

Herb - we're using a bunny sleep clock with DS1. He does stay quiet until the bunny is awake - but as soon as the bunny wakes up yells at the top of his voice "Mummy - the bunny is awake. Mummy! Mummy!" until I come in to him - so is a bit of a double edged bunny sword...

Hellooooo.
DD almost 7 weeks.
Is it too early for them to get used to sleeping on you?
Really colicy...been seeing a cranial osteopath, which has worked wonders. But nights like last night where I can't get her in her crib at all are still occuring.
Falls asleep on me or when feeding, then PING, immediately awake and screaming the minute i put her down, which = no sleep for me!!
I don't think she has actually ever fallen asleep of her own accord, always on someone.
DS was never like this, so this behaviour is new to me...
Any ideas wot i should do? or is this still ok while she's so new?

Welcome Dawnus. Your little one is still really little - the cranial osteopath will help (and sounds like they are helping already) but its hard to make a baby sleep alone if they really want to be close to you to get comfortable enough to sleep. Do you have a soothing bedtime routine (bath or massage, dim lights, last feed in their bedroom) - may help them get calm enough to try sleeping by themselves. Also have you tried swaddling - really tight swaddle on little one - can work wonders. Otherwise you could try co-sleeping, white noise (lulls them back to sleep), your worn clothes in the cot with a hotwater bottle in it before you pop little one in, or rolled up blankets under the cot sheet to make a little nest for the little one. Some babies like sleeping on their tummies nd its the only wy they will settle - not recommended SIDS wise but there are a few people on this thread with tummy sleepers (think they've invested breathing monitors to put under the cot mattress).

Hi Dawnus My ds1 was like that. During the day, when I tried to put him down, he'd wake screaming so in the end, I just stopped putting him down. After a while I got a bit fed up of this and found that if I held him really tight, waited for him to fall asleep properly, I could slide off sofa onto floor on my knees whilst still bouncing him iyswim, and place him in a recliner bouncy chair thing with my arms still round him and my chest still pressed against him and then it was a matter of slowly moving away and getting a big warm blanket on him as quick as possible, and it worked as long as I didn't wake him while trying to move away, if ever I did, I'd have to start from the beginning again. I did the same at night when putting him into mosses basket, not quite so easy, but just tried to get as much of my upper half in there as I could.......

Much the same littleboyblue...i almost try not to go to bed most nights incase i wake her up moving her to get up there.

Don't spose i do have much of a routine at bedtime for her...weird now think of it, as i had a routine with DS almost straight away...perhaps this is my problem.

Tried swaddling when she was tiny with little effect...found that she sleeps better on her side, but even tho i prop her bum against the side of her crib she manages to turn onto her back and subsequently wakes up.

I Think i'm just so bloody tired today that i think i'm doing it all wrong...which is fairly normal i know...ho hum!!!

Daytimes are much the same...infact, the only time she sleeps independently is in her ccarseat, at home she's mostly on me (usually drops off when feeding), at which point i'll pop her in her chair..but if she wakes, she can't settle herself again.

dawnus - welcome - don't have much time and sorry if suggested already. Have you got a sling? I find it invaluable with having an older one too. Particularly at that evening slot when the baby needs feeding and toddler needs tea and the baby won't shut up as it's witching hour !!.....You might find if baby is close to you in it during the day that she'll nod on and off and you are hands free?

As an aside, I watched this very adept woman turn her baby sideways in the Baby Bjorn the other day and feed it. I never realised you could do that but now when I'm needing to be "available" (like tonight DD needed food just as DS was being dropped off from nursery and wants drink/food/ a cuddle/ shoes off all at once) I can stand with DD in the BB sideways and give her her bottle rather than having hands tied holding her and bottle.....a godsend !! (BB was borrowed from sil so no instructions)

sorry and meant to say at night time - have you swaddled? . Did it with DS (not til 6 weeks and first time he settled and slept really well)and have done with DD from day 1 and I think it really settles them (if they are swaddly babies - some aren't). DD will moan on and off with swaddle on for about 5/10 mins after she's put down in her cot - just long enough for me to have sorted DS out and be ready to go in to her for a shush and a pat to realise she's shut up. She also fusses when I'm putting her in it but calms quickly.

Hi Dawnus!

My HV said that although they get used to patterns at about 8 weeks, so that one thing is a trigger for another e.g. bib = food, it's not until about 6 months that they can't have the food without a bib... I was worried about my little one getting used to sleeping on us, and was reassured we didn't need to be worry for a few more months.

dawnus, welcome, and sorry you're having a rough ride. my dd was like lbb's ds1 and like her i found my only chance of ever getting her down was the slow and steady, no sudden movements approach and even that wasn't hugely effective. one thing to think about; both our babies had reflux and colic, does your dd? does she sick up alot? is she happier upright? does she have painful wind and several hour long screaming sessions with no obvious cause?

she might just be a clingy baby (and don't panic, that doesn't equate to being clingy in later years if you let her be up in your arms 24/7 now) but if she's a reflux baby there are meds which could help (i never got them with dd sadly) and milks if you're ff or diets for you if your bf-ing that could help too.

i swear by using a sling too, only way i can get things done sometimes and aaron is the easiest of my 3 by miles!

Evening!

Been to see the animals at Port Lympne today. DS1 liked the African hunting dogs, DS2 liked a ladybird. Yesterday we were at Battersea Park zoo but I was too busy feeding DS3 to see any animals - should have waited outside. Then round to friends' house for small boy play and a curry...

PT, I'm sure MIL would knit longies for random strangers but I would have to nick them .

Dinky, isn't the Horniman a bit deep sarf Lundun for you? I love it there - the grounds more than the big fat stuffed walrus.

Phew! You guys can talk! I thought I'd caught up on all posts then realised I hadn't even cracked the most recent page yet... Probably missed out a couple in between now. Hello Dawnus.

of all your zoo excursions... dying to bring the kids but it's a 3/4 hour drive to dublin or a 5/6 hour drive to cork for the only 2 zoos/wildlife parks in the bloody country

Morning all, Feels like ive not been on here in ages!!
Ive not read the last few pages Poppy is just waking up, so thought id take the opportunity to say Hello.
Hello Dawnus

We have our first injections today - Am prepared with a bottle of milk for straight after & a bottle of calpol.
She has just about go over the bug she had last week, she was sooo sleepy for days, I was really worried, but she seems to be sorting herself out now.

We too have just dropped into our own routine. She is finally sleeping through the night, started a few weeks ago, now, its happening majority of nights.
We put her to bed at about 7pm and she usually sleeps until 5am or 6am. Then goes back to bed after a bottle for another hour or so.
Daytime, she feeds every 3hours still (she is getting very chubby!!)

Have a good day & hope the sun comes ot for you - Its miserable in the Midlands right now, but hoping it will perk up a bit later.

Dawnus Same here, ds2 sleeps on his side but still falls onto his back. i found he loved swaddling, I didn't do it until he was about 6/7 weeks old, and have never done it before, so maybe give it another go and see what happens.
Ds2 is really colicky and would cry from abut 4 right until 9ish, until I decided it was time for him to go to bed in the bedroom and got him into a routine, now he goes into the bedroom around half 6 and is normally asleep by half 7, leaving my evening free.
MrsY I'd never heard that before, can't say I fully agree with that mind, but an interesting thought.......
Swampy Sounds like you've been very busy. Hope everyone's been enjoyng it all.
KT of Poppy sleeping through. Doesn't look like it'll be any time soon here, but then ds1 didn't sleep through until about 5 months and that was only because I watered down the formula so much (spoke to hv first and she told me it was perfectly safe if that's what I wanted to do). Good lukck with the injections. I've never given either of mine a bottle after, I found a good hug and kiss was enough to settle them.

Ds1 is fine. We are going to the farm. Yay. I've really been looking forward to spending the day just me and him.
Have a good day everyone, back this evening.

KT, you've just reminded me i need to rin the gp and book aaron in for his jabs this afternoon. not too worried, he's so used to having needles stuck in him for days on end he may not even notice. neither of my other 2 were ever pushed about having a feed right after, i don't do the calpol beofre either, i hate giving med unless neccessary and the other 2 didn't always react tot he jabs so will play it by ear.

raining here too and kids are whining and fighting and trying to drive me mad. was hoping to go to the park and do some gardening today but looks like it'll be a tv day instead... tried being a good mommy the other day and got out the glitter glue and eneded up with 2 kids and all my furniture covered in glitter so won't be chancing art a gain for a while

Hi ladies - too much chatting for me to catch up properly, but just wanted to say a big thank you for the words of encouragement. I really should stay off the computer when I've had a bad day and am on my own in the evening!!! I'm really trying to go with the flow a bit more and not worry too much as it's only a phase ! I have Sam to myself for the next few days (O is in nursery) so plan to coo and gurgle with him as much as possible!

On that subject - welcome Dawnus! Sorry you are having a tough time aswell. All I would say is come on here and get all the advice you can - these ladies have already been a great help to me. I'm also a bit lost as DD, looking back, was an angel!!

KT - good luck with the injections. I cried my eyes out when DD had her first ones (gave her a bottle in the GP waiting room mopping up the tears with a muslin and all the other mums sympathising! Like PT, I think I will be fine with Sam having seen him have a lumbar puncture, IV drips etc. And at Poppy going through the night like that!

Anyway, must dash as we have a parents' meeting at the nursey - just routine but good timing for me to be able to chat properly about DD. I have been asking if she's ok there and all positive so far. Right, catch you later and thanks again for all the helpful posts.

we're back from the jabs, he was good as gold as predicted. bit cross for a few seconds but more angry shouting than hysterical scared screaming like i've heard some babies do and he was happy again as soon as he had boob waved in his face, he took a couple of sips and has been dragged around the shops since, as content as anything. fingers crossed we get away without a fever.

Hiya, Were back too - She was very good. She cried for a couple of mins & I gave her a great big hug and she was fine.

I felt worse than her I think - She was all smiley & happy before we went in...then 5mins later I was probably the most horrible person ever!!! She looked straight at me when the needle went in & burst into tears

She has had some food & been asleep pretty much since then ( as we have been out in the pram ) Im also hoping she doesnt get a fever.

so far so good here anyway, he was awake and smiley for ages in his bouncer and just had a feed a while ago and is fast asleep now.

KT, it's awful when they look at you like that isn't it?