March 09 - The spring babies have sprung

[jollyjoanne]

Thought I'd start us up a post-natal thread for the new mummies of March 09 (or thereabout!)

Just a quick post to sympathise Laumiere! Am sure you look like a gorgeous lady. Totally empathise with the no point in wearing nice clothes - I actually ironed my top yesterday only to have it sicked on 10 minutes later.
at your DH - he is a fool! My DH would be delighted to have me badgering him, but with DD still waking every 2 to 3 hours between 8pm and 4am and that's the total of sleep hours, it's definitely not happening!
Hope you get to have some beautifying time on the weekend maybe - might help?!
Right - must go to bed and get some sleep while I can!

Laumiere - Totally sympathise and I'm sure you don't appear like that to others, even your DH! I think it's easy to have low self-esteem after a baby when your body has taken such a pounding and you expect it to spring back to the way it was (well, I do anyway ) forgetting that it took 9 months to get pretty darn big! I've got a jelly belly which I've never really had before, extra stash on my bum and thighs and arms which I never had before as I always breastfed for a lot longer than this time round and I am REALLY noticing it! I still don't really fit as well as I'd like into a lot of my old stuff - infact, some stuff I just don't fit at all, so I have a pretty crap look going on right now. So yes, I know where you're at. I just need to get my arse down the pool.

As soon as I can find the energy.

Does your DH do much to help, you sound like you have your work cut out? Do you get time to yourself?

slick he's on 7 nights, 3 days off, 7 nights, 4 days off. Although he got the sharp side of my tongue when he moaned that it was his day off and I pointed out I NEVER have a day off! I do all the baby/child stuff, home stuff, cooking and finances. At the moment am up at 6am with Gabe after usually 1-2 night feeds, then 'on duty' for 13 hours with the kids (on a work day DH will help out with DS1 a bit from 4-6, put him to bed etc) then from 7.30-10pm I do the housework/ironing etc.I see my best mate who comes over Tues for TV but thats about it.

I do get a bit fed up at times as when I worked full time DH worked weekends, so I looked after DS1 on my 'days off', did most of the ironing, cleaned the bathroom, sorted the finances and most of the cooking. Ah well!

lol slick - that is exactly what the pic is saying!

a big unMN hug to you laumiere. I am with you on not feeling I look good - I need a haircut - I manage to wash my hair every 3 days - I have itchy eyes so have to wear my specs, which means I can't also use sunglasses to hold my hair back (hide the grease) when I'm out - I also have spots on my cheeks - I am at least 2.5stone overweight and comfort eat when I feel down - none of my clothes fit me. It is rubbish!

slick I also still have to go swimming. But when it gets to 7.30/8pm and both dd's are in bed and I have washed and made up bottles and tidied up and got everything ready for the next day, I can't be *rsed!

I am picking my battles with dd1 at the moment. If she wants me to sit in a certain seat then that is fine. However if she wants me to wear my pink fluffy slippers to go out, then the hard line is taken! I know it will only take a couple of time changing her routine for her to be happy again - but she is such a little drama queen ! I am doing the best I can to tell her in advance what we are about to do - which works most of the time. She is a sweetie really and just likes her world the way she knows it.

I think my dh had a disaster feed with Rosie last night. I got her up and she is in a different grobag - dh's jumper is in a crumpled angry looking heap on the floor beside a pile of damp muslins and his t-shirt is in a heap beside the washing machine! Oh dear!

Well Gabriel slept from 7.30 pm to 5.30 am last night, with some squeaks at 2 am. I'm still shattered though!

I am intrigued by this idea of ?force feeding,? as it were, to fill up their little tanks prior to nighttime. Those of you who are doing it, do you wait for the baby to ask for something to eat, or do you just keep offering the breast/bottle at frequent intervals?

I discovered yesterday that a trip to Ikea with a six-week-old can be an exhausting experience?even when said wee one is actually awfully good! I think he just got hot and frustrated in his car seat on the trip out there, so I had my first in-car feed and diaper-changing party in the boot!

Glad to hear other babies snort and bark and honk. I swear, it?s like sleeping with a troupe of mating harbour seals in the room.

How did the ?playdate? go, Wheely? Think you?re very brave to take something like that on, unless you?ve had an extra pair of arms surgically attached? Oh, and the hula pic is great!

meep, glad Rosie?s jabs went so well. Rhys has his a week Friday, and I?m quite nervous about them. And I had to laugh at the image of you doing the shopping in pink fluffy slippers.

EIGHT kids at once, slick? Having palpitations just imagining it.

laumiere, I agree with starshine - my DP would fall over in fits of gratitude if I ?badgered? him? ? so your DH doesn?t know how lucky he is!

Anyone else?s baby completely incapable of sleeping through a startle reflex if he/she isn?t fully swaddled? I think this is now what?s contributing to R?s lack of lengthy naps during the day, poor guy. I hate to make such a production of nap time, especially if he does manage to drop off on his own ? because that means waking him up to swaddle him, which gets him very cranky, and then it takes ages to get him to drop off again?

It sounds as though we're all going through the same things at the moment.

I feel/look like a sack of pooh tied up in the middle. Dh is self employed but working long hours, so I get dd from 6.30 to sometimes 8 at night. Dh bless him does cook, but that means I have her pretty much 24/7 as after tea we go to bed, and then I'm up feeding her in the night. At weekends he will take her while I have a bath, and for the odd cuddle... but if he's cuddling her and she cries I get her back!

Hands up if you think this is insane - we were invited to a friends wedding this last weekend. DD was 6 weeks old on the day of the wedding... which was in Scotland! It was a journey of 460 miles each way. All I'll say about the car journey is that it was interesting . The marriage was on the edge of a loch, and she managed not to cry during the vows, but let rip afterwards Poor thing was hungry.

Oh, and just to make me feel really good, I was handed a glass of lucozade instead of champagne. That's what the kids were given... it was just a small thing but it made me feel like crying.

Still, it was a fairly nice weekend. Went up into the Cairngorm mountains, visited Loch Ness, so little un is already well travelled.

Dh and I had a row while we were away because he wants the "old me" back. Apparently he finds it hard to believe that I don't want to go out and that I'm happy to just look after Amy and stay in.

It started after I told him that me going in the jacuzzi where we stayed was a bad idea as I knew that Amy was about to wake up, and she'd cry. After being badgered I got in, only to hear her go into meltdown. I'd had 7 minutes in it. Got out to be greeted with "well, you got what you wanted" like I have any control over her! Cue argument and tears...

Sorry for rambling. It's just I was made to feel a bit ungrateful. The other folks in the lodge were in the hot tub getting pickled which dh had been doing too, and I was quite happy to let them, if a tiny bit . I couldn't go in that as I was still bleeding.

Still, she seems to be thriving and growing like a weed. She's just about outgrown the newborn clothes, and is now weighing 9lb 15 so shoving a boob in her mouth must be doing some good!

My hv yesterday made me out to be a monster for giving Amy a bottle of formula during the wedding. She said "weren't you there to feed her?" Er, did she expect me to hoik my dress up in front of everyone??? Would have looked good on the photos... not!

Sorry for the long post. Just feeling a little bit fed up of doing it on my own. I'm beginning to wish I lived in a commune, as when at the weekend one of the other mums took Amy so I could eat my dinner it was bliss! Does that sound awful?

Bad mummy.

oh, and meant to say Corgi I've found that the parcel shelf in the car is a good changing mat, and I've fed Amy loads in the car too. I've got to the point where if she needs it, she gets it. I use a blanket to cover up, and if anyone doesn't like it it's their problem!

Laumiere I know exactly what you mean. I still don't fit any of my clothes (and to be honest that doesn't do justice to quite how much I don't fit them). I have just about managed to squeeze into a size 16 pair of trousers this week and before I was pregnant I was a size 14, but thank goodness the size 18 pants are now looking quite large. As for tops my boobs seems so massive and the belly is so jiggly and fat that I am not wearing anything even slightly clingy or tight, so I permanently look like I am wearing a tent! Very sexy even if I do say so myself! And although I wash my hair each day I never get time to dry it so I walk round with a turban towl on my head and I haven't even unpacked my makeup bag since I went to my sisters wedding 6 days after Mae was born. So I think it may be big sympathy hugs all round (and I have plenty to hug with at present!)

Corgi Mae isn't force fed but she does have a mammoth feed last thing at night it is almost as if she knows this will be the last one for 6/7/8 hours the feed can easily last an hour and sometimes (like last night even more than that).

Mae's startle reflex seems to have calmed down now but it used to wake her quite a lot, but fortunately more often than not she would go back to sleep on her own. Now my problem seems to be nightmares and she does still cry out when asleep at least once a night. Sometimes this wakes her and she will start crying and others not. It is very strange - does anyone elses LO do this?

Fearless I think it can be quite dangerous talking to other mums but I think we all need to remember that all babies develop differently and may develop different skills. My mum is always telling me how different me and my sister were as babies - for example I never crawled just went from bottom shuffling to walking, whilst my sister crawled for ages even after she could walk perfectly well.

Grinning I wouldn't worry about the HV I had been doing the same as you bf in the main with formula in a bottle when it was more convenient (well until start of this week when Mae decided she didn't like formula anymore). Love the lucozade - my sister had specifically had none alcoholic drinks provided for me at her wedding but by the time I got to the table everyone else had drank them - I believe it was a tasty fruit cocktail - that was nearly enough to make me cry too - hormones for you.

Also Grinning I am sure that you and your DH will find a happy medium as you get used to being a family. I was a boring so and so before the baby so no real change for me or DH as we have been together for about 8 years.

grinning sounds like you and Amy handled the wedding really well, I did one 5w after Gabe was born in Wales (we went First Class on the train, no way was my poor bashed coccyx going coach!)and he did the same thing, slept through the wedding and let rip.

Top tips for weddings, Annilee Matthews does lovely nursing formal dresses for £30, I've got one. Luckily in Wales EVERYONE drinks so I had the opposite problem of having to watch my glass so Gabe wasn't overloaded.

Stooopid husbands, they never get that everything changes so fundamentally (maybe because for them the changes are more mental?). I'm scrapping a bit with DH as he keeps saying that everything will go back to the way it was in 6 months and I keep saying no, it's all different now!

hello!

laumiere is there a website for said dresses ? Have googled but can't find anything ? I have a wedding in a few weeks and had bought a skirt (but no top) but much prefer dresses so would be interested in a look.

fearless glad the paed was good/ interested/ helpful. Hope you're ok and that realising the problem may be with you goes some way to helping (if that makes sense)

corgi - play date was fine. T'other baby slept through it, the 4 year iolds played nicely and L did such a big poo I had to completely change her . Means I have a favour to call in now

As for the 'forcefeeding' (sounds mean when you put it like that )- L alwys seems happy to feed if given the opportunity so if I lift her up from the pram where she's been sleeping she'll wake and start routing.

grinning - lovely to 'see' you. Well done on making the wedding. Blimey husbands need to realise what you've gone through, what you're going through experience and hormone wise. oh and your HV needs a good talking to - grrrr.

I too don't look great. Need to stop subsisting on cake and do some exercise.... soon.

wheely I got mine from Scrummy Mummy (www.scrummy-mummy.com/breastfeeding-special-occasion-wedding-christening-party-nursing-dress -c-51.html?osCsid=6709d98dba5106ee54cea094c07b787e) I have the Vibrant Red dress.

These guys are good too: www.mummylooksfab.co.uk/nursing-dresses

Thanks Laumiere - I'd seen the 'mummylooksfab' site and was quite taken by the purple elena dress but they don't have it in my size. Might order one like wot you got and see what its like on me. When you feed is there something at the top (that probably doesn't make sense - ie so the top of your boob doesn't show ?).

Geewhiz Laumiere I think I'd crack up if I had to do as much on my own constantly as you do. I thought it was hard here, but you do sound like you need more of a break!

Grinning Also good to hear from you but sorry you were having such a sh*t time. I too would have gone completely mental at DH for those comments. Bah. Men can be so crap at appreciating what we do. CUE:

Last night's ferocious argument with my own DH. He came back after my usual day of non-stop activity to have his dinner (ready on the table like a good little wife) and after that I said the kids needed bathed. They were all still eating so I flopped onto the couch in a crumpled heap as I was exhausted and still v. sore (arm and wrists worse)and have a cold (not a bad one tho) and he started bathing them, but then he started clearing the dishes and loading the dishwasher etc at the same time (FB was with me in the livingroom) then after sorting DD2, DD1 still in the bath, he comes through and hurrumphs that he can't do this all on his own. I said to him that I hadn't asked him to do any of the other things and that I NEEDED to sit down for half an hour - which I NEVER do at that time of the day but I really need to - and pointed out that I didn't get to drop by my friends during the day for a cuppa the way he does (he travels a lot around town). Anyway, I won't go into the details, but suffice it to say, I went completely mental, I was so angry I was shaking, he was shouting, then FB started crying, oh it was just awful. I HATE it when we argue but esp if it happens in front of the kids. (not too often tho). BASTARD!

Anyway, he fed FB and they both fell asleep so I kept doing 'my duties' until 9.30 and went to bed myself - seething. Didn't sleep v. well. He apolgised this morning and said everything had just got on top of him and couldn't see an end to it.

I took his apology as I know what that feels like and I know he is under a lot of unappreciated strain at work, but I made it clear to him that some of what he was saying was completely unacceptable as I work my arse off. He accepted that and said sorry agian. He's still a bastard tho.

Anyway, sorry, rant over. WHAT IS IT WITH OUR DH's AT THE MOMENT???

Men barhumbug!!!

I'm annoyed with my DH too, but we've not argued he's too nice to do that, but that is sort of the problem.

He has a sht job, gets paid sht money, doesn't get any thanks, gets to work before 6am everyday and doesn't leave till 5pm ish. Doesn't get overtime and is expected to work bank holidays. How can I make him understand that he is missing so much precious time with his daughter for a job that really just isn't worth it? Although at present we couldn't afford to live without it - which may be why his employers are taking the p*ss because they know this too!

wheely It's got a panel under the wrapover bit, and the waist has a ruching bit to camoflage baby bumps...

Blimey some of the DH's need a kick up the bum don't they. Mine's not too bad although he's out of the hosue from about 7.30am until 9 pm so no help but he's always worked really long hours (the above is quite short for him) so am used to him not being around much, but its not ideal.

Laumiere - thanks for info on dress. Think I'll order one - how is sizing (sorry to keep asking questions - should have asked them all in one go !).

Put this in this topic and in AIBU, so that I can get as many replies as possible.

Have found a lovely holiday, self catering, in Ibiza (quiet resort) in a family friendly complex, great daytime flights, air con, near beach, etc for under £1000 for 2 adults and 3and half dd and 12 week old baby (exclusivly breastfed)

Are we mad, or is completely reasonable

Positive and negative experiences please

It more the little one I am more worried about,althoug to date (he is 8 weeks old) he is no bother, sleeps very well, rarely cries, and is completely chilled out!

TIA

It's quite close-fitting but stretchy. I'm a 12 and the small size fits well.

Lilly

It sounds good to me. the only negative i could think off would be your 3.5yrs on the plane, but as long as you have things for to do.

As to husbands I've just popped to the shop to get the last few bits for mum's surprise 60th tomorrow and when i came back(only out for 40mins) he said how do you cope all week .

I just said yes that why the house isn't as tidy as it has been.

lily I reckon you should go - is it Escana you are going to? I went there in 1990 (!!!) and it was quiet with lots of families. There was one little street with about 5 loud bars on it and ALL the young people were there. It had a great tacky nightclub called the Pink Panther !

Now I am sure that given that it was almost 19years ago it will no doubt have changed quite a bit - but it's not exactly San Antonio!

lizzie our house would be an absolute tip if my dh was left to it!

Hope everyone is feeling happier with their dh's today.

We put James in daycare the earlier this week as a trial run, because I have a job interview on Tuesday and if I get it (highly unlikely I must concede) it would involve me being out of the house by quarter to 7 and not home until almost 6pm, 3 days a week. Train leaves the station at 7am and daycare doesn't open until 8am, so the boyfriend would have to look after James after I leave the house, then drop him at daycare on his way into the office. The firm I'd be working at is in London and we've just moved to Solihull from Essex, because my boyfriend's new job is in Brum city centre. I'm really nervous about the interview - other than all the modelling, my last job was as a barmaid while I was bogged down by myriad A-levels. My health visitor doesn't seem wholly keen on the prospect of me commuting 3 times a week when I'm pregnant with twins - but then I doubt she discriminates, I don't think she's keen on anyone or anything. Cow.

Anyhoo, yes, the daycare. Apparently for the first few hours he was chipper, grinning and laughing for everybody and clearly thinking it was some sort of game and Mama was just nearby and would go peekaboo and come and scoop him up. When it dawned on the poor little sod I wasn't around the nearest corner, he started howling and did so at intervals until we picked him up at teatime. I felt terrible when they told me.

James is now not far off 27 inches long and weighs 16lbs. His tooth has yet to emerge fully but I don't think we're far off now! Thankfully my sickness appears to have waned a little, although it's still far far worse than it was the first time round.

Hope you're all well, will catch up asap!

Lol Did they not build up the time with him? Usually they ask you to bring him in for an hour and sit with him. Then two hours and leave him, then a morning, then a whole day? Did they just have you bring him in for a whole day straight away or am I misunderstanding?

The commute will be hard going tho I think? I had to do it everyday, pg with one and I found it really tough. Still, everyone is in a 'needs must' scenario these days so you do what you can. Hope it all goes well for you.

Have got another cold. It's only been about two weeks since the last one!! I think it's the lack of sleep running me down. (Well that and the three kids! )

Hope everyone's well.