JUNE 2008- tantrums, shrieking and lashings of Gin (and that's just the mums!)

[pureeandpearls]

Thread number 123 or something like that

sorry, it was puree who asked the question - I was confused by the 'popping in..' !

Puree - the best thing that happened today - my friend has just told me that Next have started a EU site and they deliver to Austria - YIPPEE, if you saw the clothes shops for children you'd understand my excitement!!

puree we didn't give DS1 a pillow until he was 18 months and even then he didn't use it until he was two. We just got him a little cot one (much thinner than a normal pillow and the bonus is that it's easy to wash in the machine).

Best thing that's happened this week? We went for a bike ride and picnic yesterday with the two boys and it was really lovely. Ice cream and crisps and a picnic rug...

whinegums not sure I saw the monkey - but DH would have. I don't head into town very often as my work is nowhere near the city centre.

Thanks Abdn- I ask only because wherever I put her down to sleep, babypearls gathers all sorts of bits around her to create a pillow...her blankie, her teddies, even her zippy bag. I wondered, if she is going to nest anyway, I am better off giving her a pillow.

Best thing that happened today? The sun is shining, my baby is at nursery and Amber 'postponed' our lunch, so I got to have a sneaky (and much needed) nap. I thank her for her sacrifice

Sponge just sent a text to say: "Scan all perfect! We made it safely 2 12 weeks".

That is definitely the best thing that has happened today

Hello! Been travelling lots (i.e. London to Wales) so no time to post and now I should be preparing the class I'm teaching in under an hour...hell, I know far more than they do so what am I worried about?!

Well, the best thing that happened this week, I was going to post something totally bitchy, but instead, Tim took Iestyn swimming, and Iestyn seemed to enjoy it, and the best bit was when he looked up and saw me far away in the spectator's gallery and did his little Michael Jackson 'EAWWWWW' sound of delight! (That's Iestyn, not Tim.)

The bitchy thing...well, I'll share it all the same! Remember the friend who was mean about my epidural and said I was pathetic? She had...an epidural. Snigger. I'm happy, she's had a little girl - managed to beat my miniature baby by 1lb, so 6.2; no name as yet, waters broke on Thursday but she was induced yesterday, 'had to' have an epidural because of all the induction drugs. (Quite right too!) Didn't mention any other intervention but I do wonder, because she said she couldn't feel her legs 1 hour afterwards, and I could but my epidural had gone by the time I was pushing and I pushed Iestyn out with no assistance or pain relief. (Sorry, had to mention that! )
Whinegums agree with the low expectations: I think the reason I was so upset by the 'pathetic' comments was because I was feeling so proud that I, an actual pathetic person, managed to give birth relatively naturally without too much intervention at the end, because the epidural had worn off.
(I was told I had 'everything going', because I had G&A, but doesn't everyone?, diamorphine, but that was the day before I actually got anywhere near proper labour, and the spinal block but that was well after I'd given birth, to remove the placenta.)
Hmm, maybe I have Issues!

Deb Iestyn is feeding less and less during the day - almost none. I was really worried so I posted on the bfing board and it seems to be ok if he gets around 500ml milk. So 1 big feed morning from me, cereal with milk (c. 100ml), yoghurt at some point (c. 100ml), afternoon weetabix with ebm (100ml), and a big feed before bed with failed attempts in between, so probably just under 500ml?
But he really mucks around, points, pokes nipple with finger, shouts at passers by to look etc etc, and hardly any feeding goes on during the day. I'm considering stopping expressing now, but bizarrely all about it...

Oh my God, why didn't I spend that time preparing - that was a massive essay!

Great news from Sponge

Had a traumatic afternoon, had to take Tristan (ds2) to the specialist to have a birthmark on his hip removed. The Dr wasn't unduly concerned but it was getting bigger and looked a little irregular so we thought it was best to have it removed now. Anyway, they just laid him down, I just had to look from behind the Dr, and for some reason the local Anaesthetic didn't seem to take, they must have injected him 3 times. Poor boy was being so brave and just lying there but crying and at one point screaming like babies do - that open mouthed no sound screaming, iykwim. By that point I began to feel a bit fuzzy and sat down quickly - really thought I was going to pass out, so glass of water for me and instructed to stay sitting! Meanwhile poor Tristan had it removed but from what he said he seemed to feel everything, they have stitched it, no bath/shower for 2 weeks, got to go back next week for a check up. They made us both wait in the waiting room to make sure we were both OK to go.Dr came and apologised to him for hurting him I am so relieved to be home , Tristan is watching a dvd and eating an ice cream and he's fine now, don' think he'll be looking forward to having the stitches out though.

Fantastic news from the spongelet! Deb - how awful for both you and Tristan. There is nothing worse than seeing them in pain and being able to do nothing about it. On a much smaller scale I had something similar when ds1 had to have bloodtests and he couldn't have that emla (or whatever it is called!) cream because of his excema. The nurse was lovely but found it difficult to find the vein and he was really crying. I was soooo upset. You sound as if you coped quite well to me!

Essie - I guess though that Iestyn is eating really well (it certainly sounds like it!) so he probably doesn't need the milk. One of dd's friends didn't have any milk at all after 10 months (to drink). She wouldn't drink cows or formula milk and her mum had had such bad mastitus she couldn't carry on bfeeding. Her dd was such a good eater though that she was told it didn't matter. Plenty of cheese and yoghurt does just as good a job. We have the opposite problem. Jamie still drinks quite a bit but often eats really poorly.

Last day of school hols today. I am going to miss having the older two around. They are fantastic at keeping Jamie amused while I get on with stuff and they run up and down the stairs getting him clean vests etc when needed. Also, they are good for fantastic conversations. Today we have had the 'what kind of house I'm going to live in when I grow up' conversation. Ds1 - who is hoping to be rich obviously - is planning to build his own house with bedrooms for us all. DD is planning to have babies but live at home with me for ever. No husband either because boys are embarassing, just babies. Bless!

Great news Sponge

Deb poor Tristan, and poor you. That sounds very distressing for the two of you.

Poor Thea has a horrible cold/cough/vomit thing going on. She has slept for a lot of the day, apart from a break to do a spectacular phlegmy vomit all over me, and is now sleeping again. The boys went back to school today. DD1 has been utterly horrific, to the point where I put her in the garden with the door closed as I knew I was just about to explode (I've had v little sleep the past few nights). Anyway, after a while there was a ring on the door and it was a man from the next road complaining about the noise. DD1 was making a lot of noise but in a pissed off stroppy way, rather than upset and trembling, IYSWIM. I'm not sure if his main gripe was the noise and that I was being a crap, discourteous neighbour - which is all fair enough and very crap of me - or that I am a cruel mother and should be reported to social services - which may also be true but is making me very upset.

Just to reinforce my view that DD1 wasn't distressed, apparently when I was at the door she stopped screaming and peeped in through the window, smirking.

A completely separate point...

Does anyone know about private infertility care? A friend of mine has been referred to a gynae clinic for investigations after failing to conceive despite many years of trying. She didn't take to the consultant and is also concerned that there is quite a long wait between appointments (and not for any apparent clinical reason). She is willing to pay for private care and would rather start again with a new consultant at the same hospital. I'm going to speak to some contacts here and try to get a recommendation for a good consultant, but once I have a name, does anyone know if she can refer herself to his/her private clinic or if not, how difficult it is to get a GP referral in that situation? Or does it depend on how co-operative the GP is feeling? Any advice would be appreciated

Thanks for the replies Sybil and Rolf, he's gone to bed absolutely fine, I feel absolutely drained though,how Josey copes with poor Oli , I just don't know.

Rolf - oh I feel for you, sounds like you're having a really rough time with dd1.I can't believe your neighbour came round though.

Essie - thanks for the rundown on I's feeding, it helped .Ethan has started getting really lively when I sit down to feed him before bed, he only settles down when the older 2 have gone to bed -will have to sort that one out

Deb, poor you, that sounds truly awful for all concerned. But glad Tristan is a bit better now. Also Rolf, your day sounds bad too. Better tomorrow? Surely not smacking her or getting out a belt strap or swearing at her loudly through the walls or repeatedly smacking your head on the party wall would be more unneighbourly? Wouldn't feel guilty about it... (Does your neighbour have children? Cause I know distressed child versus annoying-going-through-paces child noise, and the latter would just make me laugh really because I'd know what was going on - i.e. mother had enough!)
Deb and Sybil, yes, Iestyn does eat really well, he truly shovels it down like a fat boy. Hollow legs, clearly. But thanks for your comments - Sybil, that was helpful, because I was getting quite worried about all the 'milk should be the main nutrition', well, fine, but what if he mucks around instead of bf, and won't take a bottle? Because that's what he does! Also, mum was babysitting today and gave him some cow's milk in a cup. Is that ok? Or do I have to wait until the 1 year mark?
BTW, anyone, when can I stop worrying about producing a fussy eater? I was absolutely awful as a child, and Tim wasn't much better.

Sybil your DD sounds just fab. She's spot on with the husband thing. Some excellent feminist parenting going on there! I totally approve of her choices!

Ali, thanks for your lovely post .

Essie, your friend was an idiot to be so high and mighty before she gave birth!

Deb, sorry to hear about your traum with T .

sybil, your kids sound so cute!

Rolf, your friend is doing absoutely the right thing IMO - we messed around with the NHS for two long years before getting referred. She needs to phone the clinic and check, some will want a GP referral some won't. Getting a GP referral should not be hard - it's no skin off their nose to do it. It's worth checking out the clinic boards on fertility friends if she wants recommendations.

So sorry to hear about your DD - how v stressful for you .

Well, as already reported scan went really well - spongelet was kicking about like a good 'un and we saw so much detail on the pics it was amazing. Also had our birth debrief which was brilliant and answered so many questions - going back in four months to talk about what happens next time, but feel so much more relaxed.

Right, off to finish Dirty Sexy Money.

sybil my DS1's plan is to "have three babies, all girls. One named Anna. Mummy will have to help me sing them to sleep because I can't remember the words. But that's okay because Mummy doesn't know how to be a Nana, so Nana will have to help you" (grammar improved significantly in the re-telling). He was very proud of himself for this idea and went around saying "you help me and Nana help you and Duncan help babies" for ages.

deb glad Tristan is asleep now, I hope he's okay tonight and that you get a relaxing evening.

deb and essie Fraser is feeding poorly during the day too. I am getting a bit annoyed as this means he's keen to feed in the night and I don't want to feed him at night anymore! I'm starting to think about stopping breastfeeding but I gave him a cup of cow's milk and he hardly drank any of it so we're not there yet...

sponge yeah!!!

Rolf how frustrating! I'd be upset too - does this man have kids himself? Sounds like he's no idea about kids at all.

And on a good note - I got a text from Josey and Olivia's at home! She's not 100% yet but the message said that they can wait for her to get better at home just as well as at the hospital so she's been released I'm so pleased for Oli (and Josey and everyone) as I know Oli will be happier, will sleep better, and will be calmer at home and that's got help her get better!

Essie you can definitely introduce cow's milk now - it just shouldn't be the main drink. I'm trying it as I want Fraser to be used to it by the time he's one.

Thanks for the sympathy. I was worrying that there would be an awkward silence then someone would chip in with "actually, I think you were very cruel"!

The man lives in the next street, so his garden backs onto ours. I don't know him or whether he has a family. He was perfectly pleasant about it but I'm still mortified.

Sponge that's really helpful. Thank you. Are the initial investigations done through a gynae clinic, rather than IVF/assisted conception?

Hello all

Sitting here enjoy bday champs and choc cake courtersy of DP! Thinking wow the big 30 what a year to ceñebrate, gonna be one hell of a year!!!

Sorry have only skim read posts off to down more champs!!! god help me 2morrow with 25 kids!!

Fleur really struggled at nursery today, adapting that is after 5 wks with me Bedtime was a mare too but hopefully routine will come back again

Just skimmed posts to say more and want to say YYAAAAYY Josey and Sponge for your news and hugs to Debs and Rolf

Hi to everyone else xxx

Hello all

Sitting here enjoy bday champs and choc cake courtersy of DP! Thinking wow the big 30 what a year to ceñebrate, gonna be one hell of a year!!!

Sorry have only skim read posts off to down more champs!!! god help me 2morrow with 25 kids!!

Fleur really struggled at nursery today, adapting that is after 5 wks with me Bedtime was a mare too but hopefully routine will come back again

Just skimmed posts to say more and want to say YYAAAAYY Josey and Sponge for your news and hugs to Debs and Rolf

Hi to everyone else xxx

Hello all

Sitting here enjoy bday champs and choc cake courtersy of DP! Thinking wow the big 30 what a year to ceñebrate, gonna be one hell of a year!!!

Sorry have only skim read posts off to down more champs!!! god help me 2morrow with 25 kids!!

Fleur really struggled at nursery today, adapting that is after 5 wks with me Bedtime was a mare too but hopefully routine will come back again

Just skimmed posts to say more and want to say YYAAAAYY Josey and Sponge for your news and hugs to Debs and Rolf

Hi to everyone else xxx

glad your birthday was great paro! My DH forgot my 30th (in his defence DS1 was six months old and not sleeping at all) but otherwise it was a great year - not as eventful as yours will be though!

Feeling very tired this morning, P woke at 4.15 till 5am then awake from 5.45. He has a v upset tummy at the moment and I have changed countless revolting nappies in the last 24 hours. He has already done 3 poos since the 4.15 wake up...

...anyway...

Josey - great that Oli is back home.

Deb - your day yesterday sounds awful. Poor T and poor you. Glad he seemed to bounce back last night, hope he is still good this morning.

Rolf - your dd1 sounds like quite a madam. I think you did well putting her in the garden. When I was little my Mum would either have smacked me or made me sit at the bottom of the stairs (on the basis that my bedroom was full of toys and far too nice a place to go for a punishment). Can't believe your neighbour though. Can you remind me how old dd1 is? About 3 I seem to think but can't remember. She may drive you crackers but you have told some funny stories on here. I always think of the one about her leaving a poo in the lounge and claiming her barbie did it.

Paro - happy birthday

Ali - poor Peter, is he any better now?

Tristan is having today off school, he's OK in himself but it does hurt when he walks and bends.So he's next to me on the settee watching Peter Pan.

We've suffered this morning from Ethan not having a morning nap yesterday n- he was sooo grumpy first thing. He's sleeping now though - thankfully

So pleased to hear that Oli's home

Paro - did you have a hangover?

We had an early start too, Ali! It was a beautiful day at 6am, but now it's gone all grey and quite cold.
Sorry Peter isn't well. Is he generally unwell with it, or happy in himself just with a dodgy tummy? I dropped Iestyn off at nursery now for the first time in two weeks. Here's to six weeks of illness, starting tonight!

I've also been on an interesting thread on mumsnet - the prams thread. Wow, it's bizarre! They totally know their stuff and recommended a brilliant spare London pram for me, but how bizarre? They, like, have 10 prams each, and exchange them, and collect them, and say 'I want to try X pram now'. Very odd! The nappies people are like that, but prams are 10 times the cost of nappies!

Morning Deb!

Ali poor Peter. I hope he's better soon. Thea's bug involves lots of pooey nappies too, and last night she managed the most spectacular vomit all over me and the bed. I was quite worried she'd get dehydrated but she has a better colour this morning.

DD1 is 3.5 and will be starting school in September, God help them. Even the teachers snigger at the thought of having her in school. She is lovely though, very good company and loving. I think she'd probably be feisty whatever, but having 2 big brothers really ups the stakes. On bad days I worry that it's also because of the awful pregnancy I had with her - DH is convinced that I've always been much more clingy with her than with the others, and that I'm now paying the price.

I've got a notebook from the hospital as part of a project to get medium-term feedback from mothers. The idea is that I write as much and as often as I like with information about the care I had, and they can anonymise it and use it for feedback and training. Obviously I can't find it but I would like to include something about how certain decisions in pregnancy can have an effect on the way you treat the child even a few years later.

Josey so glad Oli is home with you and sending you all love and prayers.

Paro happy birthday! On my 30th I was pregnant with DS2 and very hormonal!

Deb I bet lots of cuddles and attention will do Tristan the world of good

Anyway getting stream of consciousness here...