Fab Feb 2009: attack of the zombie mums

[dinkystinky]

So here we all are, complete with babies and gro-bags under our eyes

Unfortunately between 6pm ish and 10pm ish is Luc's wide awake time. He feeds then and then wakes up in the night and is wide awake again.

DH wants me to put him on strict Gina Ford routine - but he's not at home to do it! I have tried to follow it but he will not go to sleep at 7 for love nor money and so have only been following a sort of 3 hour feeding time in the day and seeing when he's awake/asleep. Persistently awake all evening.

spotty I'm not a dummy fan either but DD loves hers at certain times of the day - particularly late afternoon when she wants a nap but can't really get off and usually I'm out and about so it calms her down. I gave one to DS too but took it away at 14 weeks and he then shoved his thumb in and hasn't taken it out much since.

KT I'd try the nursery if you're finding the sleep thing difficult. If you're close enough, maybe ditch the monitor too - at least then you'll only get up to the noises you need to hear ie the crying for a feed rather than the grunting/farting/shuffling too !. DD has been in her own room pretty much from the start although as she's in our spare room with our spare bed next to our room and she was feeding twice in the night I was pretty much in there with her most of the time all the time anyway...she is really noisy so now I start off in our bed and then go in for first feed around 3.30/4am and then stay in there (she sleeps then til 7am whereas DS on the other hand might wake at 6am so I get more sleep in there as I put earplugs in and the grunting noises are still loud but not quite so loud).

MOS I got this off the BBC website
What's on offer
All young children aged three and four in England are entitled to a free part-time early education place. This can be in a variety of settings, as long as it's registered by Government regulatory bodies and inspected regularly.

Type of care
The minimum requirement of a part-time place is five two-and-a-half hour sessions every week over 38 weeks (usually divided into 11-week terms). Each session is usually either in the morning or afternoon. These can be taken to suit your and your child's requirements; for example, two sessions a day for two days and one afternoon. You can't take more than two sessions in one day, however.

Eligibility
Your three-year-old or four-year-old is entitled to three terms of free part-time nursery education from the term after the relevant birthday, in the case of four-year-olds until compulsory education begins.

The place could be in a:

group of registered childminders
preschool or playgroup
day nursery
private nursery school
state nursery school
nursery class in a primary school
reception class in a primary school (four-year-olds only)

What isn't free
Any additional hours over and above the part-time place that your child might spend in a setting for which you'd normally pay fees.

How to apply
To find out how to claim your child's free part-time nursery place, contact your local education authority, or contact the ChildcareLink on 0800 096 0296 or at www.childcarelink.gov.uk.

For information about provisions in Wales, Scotland or Northern Ireland, contact your local health and social services trusts.

See you all later !

Morning all. Danny was strangely quiet last night in his cot (typical really as I couldnt sleep at all as was up all night worrying about DS1 and preschool places - idiot that I am: I had to go and wake up DH at 4.30 to talk about it and he was very sweet and came through to our bedroom, talked me down off the ledge and cuddled me down to sleep at long last). Danny only wanted a feed at midnight and a 5 minute glug at 4; however I found out his morning why he was so quiet when I discovered at some point during the night he had done a mega poo that had escaped the nappy, soaked through vest and babgro, swaddle, sheet on cot and mattress protector! So, if your baby is being quiet at night, be very very suspicious ladies - I definitely prefer dealing with the gruntings, farts, groans, giggles, lip smacking etc to that!

KT - as I've said before we moved DS1 to his own room very early for just that reason; it was fine for us. Do what works for you and your family. I didnt even need a monitor - I found I used to wake at his first I'm hungry cry...

Beantin - a bedtime routine does help them (eventually) differentiate between day and night. With the day time feeds, can you ensure there is always lots of background noise going on and its bright etc and then make sure the night time feeds are in a dim room with minimal noise (both of which will help him and you get back to sleep quicker). Dont bother with night time nappy changes unless urgent - just barrier cream them up. With DS1 I didnt even bother burping him after a night time feed (used to do those lying down so he'd just drift back off to sleep after a feed) - with Danny I try to burp him (feed him lying down too but he does have trouble bringing up wind himself sometimes) but he's generally dead to the world so is rather like trying to burp a sleeping cat if you know what I mean...

Herbgarden - yup, DS1 definitely takes after DH (he even got his being late for everything genes - I always tell DH its his fault I ended up being induced with DS1; DS2 has obviously got more of my genes as he turned up early ) - he even has blue eyes (my dad is indian and has blue eyes so knew it was a possibility but thought he might at least look a little bit like the indian side of his family). Danny has blue eyes too and strong traces of DH in his features so am resigning myself to the fact that neither of my children look anything like me.....

SMS - Scrubs: my favourite is Dr Cox. Wish I could get away with being such a grouch! And I know what you mean about Spike - am sure he and Angel combined were the inspiration for the Twilight books...

MoS - sorry your DH is being an idiot still. I really hope today is a better day for you guys.

Rather embarrasing question and apologies for TMI but is anyone else's digestive system still acting up abit? I was regular as clockwork before and after having DS1 and before having Danny - however since having Danny I've been really farty (definitely not something I've ever aspired to be) and rather irregular poo wise - even worse, my poos have become doorstops when they do come - or rather loostops! - which keep our plunger in good use. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease tell me I'm not destined to be like this for ever and this will pass or I'm going to have to go out and have a cork fitted to my posterior...

Right, off to go see a lady about about a pre-school place and get some food in for lunch or DS1 will be eating grapes and carrot for his lunch...

Beantin - dont do Gina if it doesnt work for you; you're the one that has to live with it. If the sleep thing is getting really awful, you could try a sleep clinic (we used one with DS1 when he was 4 months and demanding to be fed to sleep for every nap - Naturally Nurturing) but it is still REALLY early days... Have you thought about maybe following the Babywhisperer book (EASY - eat activity sleep you time - ad nauseum - till bedtime) which is more flexible than Gina? Your little one will get the difference between night and day - some babies take a little longer to get it than others. And some babies like to stay up until late at night and then sleep in later in the morning whereas others are early snoozers and v early risers (DS1 was one of those; was sooooooooooo jealous of my friends whose babies went to bed at 9pm and were still asleep at 8am )

Spotty - glad you got abit of sleep (but sad it was so little). I hate dummies too but I agree with Herb, sometimes there is a time and place for him - and the time and place to let you get abit of sleep to save your sanity is definitely one for a dummy. Just keep it as an emergency line of defence if you'd prefer for when nights get really bad (but it sounds like you're there already).

Beantin - just to add my bit - I used to have to explain to my DH when we had DS that babies weren't robots and we'd just have to go with it for a while when he was cranky and difficult in the evenings. My DS used to be awake most of the evening for about the same period of time as your DS from about 5 - 9 weeks (sorry can't remember how many weeks your DS is now) and then he'd go down later - I know you say that he's then awake a lot later on too but honestly, it will get better and he may well find his own "routine" by about 13/14 weeks. It sounds like he's just one of those babies who might be a bit colicky in the evenings which is a classic time.

Not sure of the awake in the night. I think you said he was quite sleepy in the day but to get him more sleepy at night you might have to perservere a bit more with the awake time during the day - DD is sleeeepy too and it's been a bit hard getting her to work out night from day. I've tried the babygym moving her round the house with me, taking nappy off and letting her kick around (she loves this one !) Sounds like you're feeding him on the 3 hours which also helps get them a bit more keen to sleep at night.

You'll be doing a great job - just please please don't expect too much now and enjoy your little boy whilst he's still cuddly and gorgeous . I'd try to get DH off your back about it - he's probably only trying to find a solution to "fix" things, but as you say, he's not the one at home with DS.....

thanks for help.....just feel like constantly doing something wrong

He is 5 weeks tomorrow.

Bedtime routine doesn't help. Spend all day downstairs with him - light, noise, etc and then from 7pm or so, he is in his room, dimmed lighting for feeds and no nappy changes in the night unless leakage.

I hated use of dummies, but it does seem to help when he has wind. Have heard the sucking helps them to digest. Went against my views though last night and used it to try to calm him for sleep and as was close to fainting thru hunger, even put him in the cot with it as was so sleepy - yawning, droopy eyes and arms - managed half way through my dinner before having to go and pop it back in. After finished dinner and he started cring again, went back up - he ended up being in cot, happily sucking away at dummy for an hour looking wide awake but content.

This morning he is just interested in feeding and pooing. No time for me to even finish getting dressed.

Am feeling a bit at end of tether today and is only Tuesday! Wish DH could take a day off and help. Roll on Easter!

It will get better Beantin - I promise. DS1 was like that at 5 weeks, wanting to be held constantly and crying lots and really unsettled - it got better by 8 weeks and now he's almost 3 and I cant believe that crying little baby has turned into my funny, sweet, caring, energetic little man (who from 5 months onwards has been a lovely little sleeper who self settles even if he does wake up rather early).....The cranial osteopath will help if there is anything physical/physiological causing your little one to be unsettled - I think you said you had another session today or tomorrow... You are doing great - just hold on in there.

Thanks Dinky. Cran Ost is tomorrow - fingers crossed.

It is so good to get reassurance on here....am constantly thinking something must be wrong somewhere and then trying to convince myself that babies are just like that.

He's now asleep in the bouncer - which makes me feel guilty as can't be good for his back. He loves sleeping in it though and won't go down in cot or moses and I need a break.

Sorry am not much help to the rest of you on here and must always seem like am whinging away.

Hugs to you all

Hi all - just back from doctors. I went to ask about her awful reflux (sicks up loads every feed) and to get some eye drops for her sticky eyes but GP has referred her to pediatric consultant for her laboured breathing. HVs told me it was just baby snuffles but doc said she might have a 'mechanical' defect (tracheo-oesphageal fistula) which is causing the reflux, poor weight gain, etc. All a bit frightening and I feel very at HVs for not taking her noisy breathing and coughs more seriously as I have mentioned it about 4 times now.... anyway Lilian is booked in for a scan at hosp on Friday so we'll find out is it is anything serious. Of course I am now acutely tuned in to her laboured breath and terrified that she's struggling to breathe.....

Beantin - I've been having the same issues as you with the night time sleeping/ routines etc - but I remember the same with DS and I know it will pass - hang on in there, it'll be so much better soon.

Right - off to attempt some one-handed soup eating.

Oh Calico - at those idiot HVs on your behalf! Honestly they rile you up when there is nothing to worry about and then ignore you when there is a genuine concern...I hope the scan goes well and that they find what is causing your little one her difficulties - and in the meantime that she stays a very heavy and loud breather for your sake.

Thanks Dinky - of course I have just spent the last hour looking the condition up on the internet and have scared myself witless...

Calico will keep fingers crossed for you. DS is huffy puffy too, but his nose is always stuffed up, so figured ok.

Calico - sorry you're worried and hope you find out what's wrong soon.
Beantin - hang on in there. There is nothing wrong with your lo sleeping in the bouncy chair- if he'll sleep in there then eat and give yourself a break !.. Just keep doing what you're doing and you'll soon be out the other side !

"eat" what am i talking about?!

Beantin - just wanted to add my humble opinion! M is six weeks today and we have a fairly regular 4h cycle.
e.g. 6-7am change, feed, burp
7-8am play (sing, stories, talk)
8-10am sleep
10-11am change, feed, burp, and so on.

The only change is after her 6pm bottle, we do an hour of bathtime, masssage and quiet singing/stories, usually John does this. Bathtime should really help if 6-10pm is an awake time. Massage is really relaxing to and helps with wind as well.

I am really flexible though, and we've only been doing it for a few days, but it does seem to be working. I have to say, she did start sleeping through of her own accord from about 4 1/2 weeks, so she is a bit of a star.

Calico I have my fingers crossed for you both, hope all is well with Lilian.

Hope everything is well with everyone else. M and I had a lovely time today, going to Rye for fish and chip lunch! John and I had an awful night last night - intermittently rowing and sulking from 8-ish till I went to bed and then started again in the morning. He's just so bloody annoying! Feel bad though, because he had her in the spare room all night and did 10pm and 6am bottle, but I offered to help and he turned it down as he was still sulking - stubborn mule! I know I'm unreasonable, but I guess I think I've earned a few weeks of putting myself first (not before M, of course). Does that sound really selfish?

No MrsY It doesn't - 10 - 6 is pretty decent amount of sleep for anyone even if he is going to work too. DH gets about 11 - 6 if he's lucky so don't think that's bad. Also if you get yourself some sleep it might help you to focus a bit more on what you want. Your DD sounds like a great little sleeper....make the most of it. Some babies are just better at it early than others !

beantin... honestly all this passes in the blink of an eye, dd was a nightmare til over a year and ds1 wasn't much better at night and both of them sleep 12-14 hours a night now and are cheerful, clever, loveable little darlings during the day (on a good day ). it doesn't seem possible now but these early days fly by and no matter how bad it gets, it ends.

aaron fell asleep in his bouncer last night and was stirring when i was heading up so i brought the bouncer up to the bedroom, fell asleep to him runting and wriggling half awake and woke at 3.30 in a panic as it was silent in the room... had to shine my phone at him to check he was ok . he slept from 10pm to 4am in the end of course he spent the next 4 hours in a foul mood to even things out but wow! 6 hours! my other 2 didn't do that til they were over a year!

calico... how awful that the HV didn't listen to your concerns but at least the gp picked up on it. hope the scan goes well and it's nothing too serious. try not to panic about the breathing, the hospital made me a nervous wreck about aaron's breathing and i've spent far too much time freaking out that he's going to choke or die in his sleep only to come to the conclusion that it doesn't bother him at all and i'm wasting my energy worrying

pinky love the phone anecdote......we worry and moan when they don't sleep and as soon as the little darlings do, we prod, poke and shine lights in their eyes

Evening all. Not staying on here this evening and have not read the day's posts because something strange has happened to the screen. The posts are on the right of my screen but only maybe only 4 inches of creen and the rest is a big blue box so was giving me a headache trying to read. Sorry, will try and catch up at some point tomorrow.

MrsY Hope you're feeling better today, but if you're not, that's ok, it does and will get easier and better.

Really bad night here last night, Luke was awake all night, everytime he tried to get to sleep, he'd drift of, I'd lay down and then I'd hear him choking/gagging so kept whipping him out of basket and across my lap, awfully scary isn't it? Dp got in at 6am and 'dealt' with the boys so I stayed in bed for an extra half hour but after hearing all the huffing and puffing and for fuck saking I decided just to get up, but he was still acting like he was my hero and had done me a massive favour and all I wanted to yell was "they're your kids too!!!!!!" so although, yes he'd been at work all night, but I'd been up all night too and been looking after the boys all previous day, and everytime I try to go over that it is hard and exhausting for both of us and just because I'm at home doesn't mean I'm lounging about, I mean I find time to feed us all, wash us all (not dp), play with dc's, do the housework, do the shopping blah blah blah blah blah, it is me that's being unreasonable and whilst I see and know that I can and am unreasonable most of the time, I just wish he knew what it was like to not even be able to pee in peace. God, listen to me, I don't even know what I'm trying to say!
Took Luke to gp and ran through all his symptoms and all I was concerned about and the doc told me it's 'just' colic. She gave me an info sheet on colic and did anyone know that some studies have shown that there is a possibility that cow's milk can cause it? They recommend a hypoallergenic formula for the first 3-4 months. Interesting, Might speak to HV and give it a go, anything's worth trying as now I can't put him down.

Also, ds1 has started to screech all the time, only over past two days but wanted to ask, is this normal? It seems to be for no reason, just high pitched screech but it's upsetting me because he sounds like that little boy from our playgroup I was telling you all about. It doesn't mean that ds1 is becoming emotionally unbalanced or anything does it? Any suggestions on how I can/should be addressing it and dealing with it?

My screen is fine on all other posts........odd. Anyone else got a prob? Will get my answer tomoz. Luke's awake. Again

Mine's odd too!

mine too. cant read the last posts over the advert.

Morning, can't catch up now coz screens still messed up. There's a thread in active so MNHQ are aware of it, it's happening in lone parents too.
I still can't bring myself to read anything, too squashed up.
Jacob (ds1) has dentist this morning, imagine that'll be interesting (whinge/cry/fight wise not hygiene wise).
Hope everyone's ok. x

yep - my screen is funny as well, all the posts are squashed into the right hand side and the rest of the screen is blank....what are they playing at??

SMS my DS has started the screeching thing recently, as well as a bit of head banging. HV says it is normal and to try to ignore it as it is attention seeking behaviour - well yes, I'd figured that out!

PT laughing at you shining your phone at DS!

My screen is rubbish too!

PT I do tht with my phone, as I dont want to put the lights on and risk waking her up!

last night Poppy was VERY loud, so tonight we are defintaly going to put her basket in the nursery, see if we can both get a little bit more kip.

This morning, she had a bottle at 3.30am, and was awake at 4.40am crying, then falling asleep, crying,sleeping, which lasted for about an hour? Not really sure what that was about, but kept me wide awake thinking 'surely she cant be hungry again!!!'
am very of those of you that are getting 6 hour stretches.