jan 09; dream feeds, sod mummy's needs, shes on her knees...the one where it all starts to get better (hopefully)!

[fourlittlefeet]

here we are; a bit early, but one more task done. tick

hope all had a great mothersday i spent money got choccy had a roast and went to park

hope everybody had a lovely mother's day - we had my mum and sister around for lunch so a house full of mums, and c very sportingly stayed asleep all the way through lunch, which was a marvellous mother's day gift.

on a less happy note, i think i may have thrush - very sore right nipple, left one starting to get sore. will have to try to get to the doctor tomorrow. i foresee the sugar and yeast leaving my diet along with dairy. am going to wind up eating nuts and eggs and nothing else....

happy mother's day all. hope everyone had a fab day. ours in canada doesn't come till the first sunday of may... probably because, except for the region i live in, the rest of the country is thawing out and you need a really nice spring day for mother's day.

bubs sort of took her bottle today without crying or freaking out about it. we haven't done it for a couple weeks. hopefully in a few more i'll be able to go out and get my body waxed... its all getting a bit crazy.

dog - it is really unpleasant - like needles going through nipples when she is feeding and then after the feed the breast aches and prickles. she has a bit of white coating on her tongue and has been pulling off a bit while feeding for the last couple of weeks - this all seems like thrush to me. bah. hope i can get rid of it, as i plan to get her to 6 months with bf but can't really cope with the idea of 4 months of pain plus i'm sure it's not nice for her either.

glad that all the mother's days went well.

dog [WOW] that Isla sleeps from 7 till 5.30am! Nye is gradually getting there but I still can't work out what's best to do with my milk overnight - last night I dream-fed him at 12 but then he woke at 3.30am for more like the old days. Other times I have waited until about 3am (when boobs are about to burst!) before dream-feeding him, and meanwhile my boobs have leaked all over the bed! I think I am going to try expressing last thing at night and then just seeing how long he sleeps for, hopefully then my boobs won't be too painful.

Having lovely lazy morning since OH has had to go off early (he has 16 university students staying for riding this week- fun for him as 15 of them are girls!) Had my first bath with Nye by myself - he just kicked around on the mat while I had it hot, then I got him in. Means no nice bubbles or bath oil for me though!

You all sound like you had lovely Mothers Days. I was somewhat ambitiously trying to cook lunch for my Mum, but OH was out all morning, and LO wasn't co-operating, so eventually it was more of a joint effort when everyone turned up! Lots of fun though, and we had champagne to celebrate my first Mothers Day.

ps forgot to say stripey sorry to hear about thrush - don't be too down-heartened though as I am sure it goes away really quickly with right medication. One friend recommended expressing a few drops of milk onto the nipple and then letting it air-dry really well - difficult if you are out and about though!

stripey sorry to hear about the thrush but well done for spotting it early - hopefully you can sort it quickly.

Yesterday was lovely here too, guilt free time to relax and let other people do things! bummer that dh had to leave yesterday eve for 3 days working away from home, first time I've been on my own for more than a few hours with both dcs. eek. it's better than expected so far!

I now have to ask about somehting that might be a bit TMI. So look away NOW if you are a bit squeamish.
I think I might have a vaginal prolapse. I've had a kind of draggy feeling down there, not painful, but I just thought it was normal post-baby-number-2. And I didn't investigate, and we haven't had sex, so easy enough to ignore. Over the last few days I've had a cough and that seems to have made it feel more.. bulge-y. Does that sound within the realms of normality? You might remember my GPs (both at the Practice) are a bit pants so if you have any ideas where else I could go to have it looked at, if you htink I need to, I would appreciate it.
feeling a bit like my body is falling apart, it's been one thing after another, I feel grotty all the time at the moment. grim.

Hi ladies, bit out of touch, thread had even disapeered from my list- had to hunt it out!

Been home in brighton, Still here actually, as when OH got down post match sat night turns out given today (mon) off too... so stayed an extra night.

Had a lovely mothers day, wonderful weather. Had lunch in & then wandered the Lanes. Really miss Brighton sometimes. Can't beat brighton in the sunshine. Bizare, but amazing being a mother for mothers day. Was too busy giving my own mother her gifts and ones from Esme to really even take in that i too am a mother, so its my day too.

Got a book called "41 uses for grandmas" an i love grandma photo frame and tshirt all for my mother. A lovely Laura Ashley Cardi from me. Which she adored of course. for Oh's mother got one of those lovely wooden signs which says "Nana's kitchen- where memories are made and grandkids are spoilt" So cute. Then we got her a jacket too.

Esme (with daddy's help) Bought me a beautiful Beautiful Hand bag - i took it for lunch with us, but was far too scared to pput it on the floor, so hung it from my chair! Funny thing is has to be the first time since she was born i've acually taken a hand bag, usually i just pop my purse into her changing bag (got lovely flowey Cath Kidson one!) So that was nice to be a Grown up with my bag and let OH take the flowery nappy one

stripey I think, after reading your post i may have thrush too? My right nipple is Agony while she latches on... like pins going through like you said, and is a bit tingly all the time. I sort of assumed (first timer) that i'd just picked up a sore nipple.... as there appears to be a tiny Crack. Esme and i have her jabs / my 8 week check tomo so i'll ask the doctor then.

Weight gain I'm not really sure what Esme gains. She was born onto 25th, and has stayed on that. HV happy, so i am too!

Esme usually sleeps 7pm-7am with me waking her when i go to bed about 10.30 for a feed and then waking at 2.30 for a quick feed. but last night her 2.30 ish feed was sooooooooooooooooo small, she totally fell asleep on the boob and i couldnt wake her to take anymore so surprise surprise she was awake and ready to eat then play at 5.30am!!!! No wonder she was MORE than ready for her nap at 9am!! Is currently Sparked out sleeping on her skeepskin... Routine has sort of gone out of window being away from home- she usually naps in nursery- curtains drawn.

missJ had you in mind while BF in resturant yesterday, was thinking, keep cool if someone says something ....nobody battered an eyelid.

Am massively thirsty all of a sudden. Got to run!

dog I had a 2nd deg tear that was stitched, and when the mw had a look at that a few weeks after Rosie was born it all looked fine.. think i just need to get myself to a clinic and have it looked at. I'll wait til dh gets back home in a few days, don't fancy taking the dc's along to that appt..

ray the pressies you got (and were given) sound lovely!! My mum lives abroad and I really missed her yesterday. I sent some flowers and she had a great surprise cos it is not Mother's Day where she is, so she wasn't expecting anything.
NExt time you're in Brighton we should hook up for a coffee, and Esme and Rosie can meet too!!

ray - you should definitely get it looked at as i understand that thrush can be quite hard to get rid of if it really takes hold... my trip to the doctor cost me the equivalent of £130, so the pills had better work! ireland doesn't have anything as civilised as the nhs... but the doc thinks it probably is thrush in the absence of anything else - no cracks or sign of infection, so i am going to take a mega dose of diflucin (?) for two weeks...

have just rocked c off to sleep in her bouncer. it's just amazing to be able to put her down for a couple of hours. we eventually discovered that gentle rocking with a hairdryer turned on knocks her out just like a car trip...

stripey that's awful that you have to pay! Fingers crossed that it clears up soon. I am going to be extra careful about letting my nipples dry properly now - too easy just to stuff them back into your bra!

ray a while back I thought I might have thrush too and found this article useful although I think it is for Americans so the medicine probably has a different name. When I had a bad crack, it did hurt throughout the day, so maybe it is that - using a shield for 2 days really helped me.

Does anyone else find that they spend all morning waiting for LO to go to sleep, and then aren't quite sure what to do with the time when they do? I am running around like a headless chicken, doing a bit of tidying, a bit of sorting, applying for car tax etc - I have the longest to-do list I've ever seen - but yet am eating lunch and typing this instead!

missj - i know exactly what you mean - i am so busy listening for her that i can't seem to get anything done...

Hi folks.

Am snowed under here, with stuff to do that is. Back from all day trip to osteopath with Hatts to see if it will help with colic. ANOTHER £40 plus follow up plus petrol. But worth it if it works.

On thrush - I've just finished 2 week course for ductal thrush. Still not sure it was ductal but the AB took the pain away so sounds good to me! Have bought probiotics to recolonise dd2, now the candida is gone and ab are over the breastmilk will hopefully work it's magic too.

such a faff all t his stuff though. Off to express to put the powder in the milk and so on and so on.

Spink - will post more later but I thought the same after I had DD. Turned out I didn't but was worth getting checked out. I called my GP and asked for an appointment with a midwife - had to explain that I hadn't properly recovered. MW just examined everything and all was ok. Was worth it for reassurance.

Lenni that's really helpful, thanks
asking to see the mw makes a lot of sense.. I really hope it's nothing, it makes me feel so bleurgh, poor dh, the idea of sex with this thing makes me ill

tree crossing my fingers that the osteo has worked wonders. how are you doing? do you feel like you're surfacing??

Spink, being quick again (in midst of bedtime) and it may be too late but I wouldn't search on here about it until you've been seen. There are a few horror stories about and reading them prob won't do you much good until you know what it is. I had a minor problem with my pelvic floor which sorted itself with kegels and one of those electrical pelvic floor toner things. But from reading on here I convinced myself it was much worse.

Catch up properly in a bit...

sounds like u all had lovely mothers day
sorry to hear about ladies having thrush

Spink- Hope your thrush clears up, sounds v hurty and uncomfortable.

The sad news of the death of Sylvia Plath's son made me think about a beautiful poem she wrote partly about his birth... I have cut and pasted it a bit, it really makes me cry (in a good sentimental way)...

From Three women:

Who is he, this blue, furious boy,
Shiny and strange, as if he had hurtled from a star?
He is looking so angrily!

He flew into the room, a shriek at his heel.
The blue color pales. He is human after all.
A red lotus opens in its bowl of blood;
They are stitching me up with silk, as if I were a material.

What did my fingers do before they held him?

What did my heart do, with its love?
I have never seen a thing so clear.
His lids are like the lilac-flower
And soft as a moth, his breath.
I shall not let go.

There is no guile or warp in him. May he keep so.

Here is my son.
His wide eye is that general, flat blue.
He is turning to me like a little, blind, bright plant.
One cry. It is the hook I hang on.
And I am a river of milk.

I am a warm hill.

I shall meditate upon my little son.
He does not walk. He does not speak a word.
He is still swaddled in white bands.
But he is pink and perfect. He smiles so frequently.

I do not will him to be exceptional.

It is the exception that interests the devil.
It is the exception that climbs the sorrowful hill
Or sits in the desert and hurts his mother's heart.

I will him to be common,
To love me as I love him,
And to marry what he wants and where he will.

hkz, thanks for posting that, gave me goosebumps.

One of our friends wrote this out for us, it's a letter from Abraham Lincoln, about his son. I like to get dh to read it out loud to me, his voice always breaks up on the last line and that makes me weep like a loon!

He will have to learn, I know,
that all men are not just,
all men are not true.
But teach him also that
for every scoundrel there is a hero;
that for every selfish Politician,
there is a dedicated leader...
Teach him for every enemy there is a friend,

Steer him away from envy,
if you can,
teach him the secret of
quiet laughter.

Let him learn early that
the bullies are the easiest to lick...
Teach him, if you can,
the wonder of books...
But also give him quiet time
to ponder the eternal mystery of birds in the sky,
bees in the sun,
and the flowers on a green hillside.

In the school teach him
it is far honourable to fail
than to cheat...
Teach him to have faith
in his own ideas,
even if everyone tells him
they are wrong...
Teach him to be gentle
with gentle people,
and tough with the tough.

Try to give my son
the strength not to follow the crowd
when everyone is getting on the band wagon...
Teach him to listen to all men...
but teach him also to filter
all he hears on a screen of truth,
and take only the good
that comes through.

Teach him if you can,
how to laugh when he is sad...
Teach him there is no shame in tears,
Teach him to scoff at cynics
and to beware of too much sweetness...
Teach him to sell his brawn
and brain to the highest bidders
but never to put a price-tag
on his heart and soul.

Teach him to close his ears
to a howling mob
and to stand and fight
if he thinks he's right.
Treat him gently,
but do not cuddle him,
because only the test
of fire makes fine steel.

Let him have the courage
to be impatient...
let him have the patience to be brave.
Teach him always
to have sublime faith in himself,
because then he will have
sublime faith in mankind.

This is a big order,
but see what you can do...
He is such a fine fellow,
my son!

eh up

should be some good daughter ones too, who's got those??

missJ / Stripey Thanks for that, i've got esme's jabs/my 8 week postnatal check up all in one today, so i'm going to get all checked out and hopefully if its thrush nip it in the bud.

Spink so sorry you missed your mother on mothering sunday! Hope you at least got to speak to her. My family home is actually in Hurstpierpoint, but all my good friends live in Brighton, so yes- be perfect to meet up sometime soon... i'll let you know when i've penned our next visit to Brighton in diary!

Esme has a horrible rash thing... but only on her face. I'm worried its the beginnings of Ezcema? i used to have it on my wrists in my early teens. Thank goodness for Doctors Trip today- perfect timing.

Oh, Remmeber Esme has an awful nappy rash? Well the cream the doctor perscribed worked wonders, then about a week ago, i could see the beginnings of another one, So ended up trying "Burts Bees Baby Bee Diaper Cream" And my Gosh....... its amazing! I'm also using the apricot baby oil (have been avoiding her face so it can't be that causing her face rash) and the oil smells SO good... i could eat her after bath-time!

Love the poems, especially the Plath one. Somewhere I have got a virago book of birth poetry so I will see if there are any daughter poems there.

ray hope your doc visit went well and that Esme's rash is not eczema - it does seem that babies are prone to lots of skin flare-ups - so far Nye has had baby acne and cradle cap, both thankfully short-lived.

I managed to scrape our lovely new car, and we've only had it 3 days... OH was so sweet about it and I feel really bad - am now slightly regretting not getting a normal sized car that I can park easily!

Had a nice morning at Mum & baby group and then met OH and his ride in the pub for lunch. Came home and snuggled with Nye for an afternoon nap which was lovely and much-needed. But am feeling a bit low really after lots of socialising in London - I really miss my friends, and I miss being able to just pop out of the front door and walk in the park, go for a coffee, go to the library, visit some charity shops - just being able to do something mildly entertaining without having to get everything into the car and making a big trip.

What I really need is to get my pram out into the lanes and get rid of this jelly-belly!