April 2005 babies!!!

[Gem1355]

Hi

Howz everyone doing?

Darcie is doing well but losing abit of weight after she put it on after inital weight loss but okay other than that.

would post a picture but don't know how!

Hi everyone - these babies sound like they are growing up fast!!! Hope Darcie's excema clears up soon Gem.

Ryan is settling back to sleep now after his nightime feed which is good news - just need to get him to sleep through! Have started replacing one feed a day with the hungrier formula to see if that will help him sleep a little longer cos he seems to have reverted feeding every 3 hrs rather than 4 at mo so will see what happens over the next few days. Was weighed yesterday 12lbs 7oz and 6 inches longer than at birth so he is above average on all measurements - bless him my little chubb!!!

Hi CSA and Others
The Gina thing has reached the stage where it feels like its going to pot. I think a growth spurt thing is here. Was up at 5 am and feeding on and off till 7 am the last 2 mornings coupled with a bad case of wind for the last few days,well, you get the picture.

Trying to be flexible with the timetable - she is working 1 hr ahead of schedule (God, sounds so regimental) but keeping a timetable helps with my sanity - and hers imho. (Do I sound like a school teacher?) Eventhough I feel like I am muddling along a bit, well at least, its muddling with a plan in mind.

Seabird: this may sound wierd but it may help more than you think.

I learnt somewhere - a long time ago that thrush and athlete's foot (both fungal infections) thrive in an alkaline environment - eg the skin because of sweat.

Try washing your bras in a weak solution of vinegar and water maybe 1 part vinegar to 3 or 4 parts water. Also, wipe down the skin around your nipples - and your nipples if not terribly cracked and sore with the weak solution. It will change the ph of your skin - if temporarily and help with the thrush. If it works once, reapply.

Whenever I have the first itches of athlete's foot. I do this with straight vinegar - sometimes it burns - but it never develops.

Oh, if you have thrush (down there) a douche with the 1 to 4 parts vinegar and water works too!

hi alux, same here. 6 weeks growth spurt started yesterday. so had to build in 3 extra feeds today to keep him satisfied although each time, i whispered to ds "don't tell miss ford"... LOL

csa: this evening I felt like I was cracking up as I felt like she wasn't 'getting enough' I gave in and gave her a bottle of EBM. Planning to get a medela electric tomorrow and get diligent about expressing. Asleep in daddy's arms at the mo while I put my head down for 30 mins. Having him away during the week means I cannot get all the rest that GF prescribes. I was in tears tonight b/c I am worried I will fail.

thanks alux, I'll try that. At the moment I'm using daktarin cream after every feed but once I stop that I'll use vinegar.

Re Gina Ford: I mentioned before that after a "perfect" Gina day, Jasper had his worst night in ages. Well, we spent yesterday at Bluewater with his feeds and naps being fitted in completely willy nilly (around dd's tantrums mainly ) - and he slept through from his 1030 feed til I woke him at 7am! I think his point is proven!

Hope everyone has a good weekend. xx

our posts crossed, alux. You sound like you're doing an amazing job coping on your own in the week, I just can't imagine doing it. Just remember it gets easier all the time. I know exactly what you mean about the routine making you feel more in control. The trouble, I find, is that when they're "on schedule" you feel really great, but when things start to slip you feel terrible. Which is silly because of course it's all an illusion really and the babies do as they damn well please whatever we do! Of course, this hasn't stopped me paying a fortune to join the official Gina website that someone helpfully posted a link to.

I express every night using a medela pump, btw, as I did with dd -they're great - good luck with yours.

seabird, see you on gina the website too -

off to have a willy nilly day as we have several errands to run

HI

Darcie is still asleep so thought i'd jump on as busy day today!

Her excema has really cleared up that cream works wonders, but is still on anti biotics!
Just glad she still sleeps allnite!

alux - just had to say it sounds like you are doing a great job - I take my hat off to you doing it with DH away so much. And I don't mean to sound annoying or patronising but in this one you can't really fail. You're a mother now and you love your babe and that's all that matters in the long run. Gina Smeena. As Seabird says, they run the show anyway - it's just waking up to that fact can take a while!

Thanks for the tip about the thrush threads on here, found a good link to breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk, with a leaflet about oral thrush. Their advice was to take a print out of it to the doctors with you - will try next week!

Had our first night out last night - went to see star wars and were then going to go for something to eat but as it was 10pm and were knackered decided to take chips home. What a big night out!

Just a quick post... sorry I've not been on in a while. I've been getting very low this past week and it's getting worse. DH goes back to work after half term tomorrow and I'm not sure how I'm going to cope being on my own again.

Very very low and weepy and down. The HV dropped off the Edinburgh Postnatal Depression scale thingy on Friday and I did it online to see my score. Not sure if I should fib or not when I give it back to her as I got 19 (the cut-off for concern is around 12).

DH is also having a bad relapse of his MS which means his balance and walking is bad, so I feel terrible asking him to do stuff... but I can't bear being Anneke's caretaker solidly for 24 hours a day.

God I think we made a mistake having her I mean - I totally love her and she's wonderful and beautiful and special - but I just can't cope with this... and the pain from my tear... and the trauma flashbacks...

God. Sorry. I'll go and pull myself together.

Verso - just saw your post. Not sure what advice I can give other than to give a big hug. I think you should be honest with your HV - do you get on well with her? She will offer you support and advice. I had PND with DS1 and I was in denial for ages until Dh sent me to the GP. Was on ADs for a few months and that sorted me out. Sorry that Dh is not great either - do his relapses last long or just a few days?

Of course you haven't made a mistake in having Aneke - she is very special - it just seems like everything is getting you down at the moment - I know it's a cliche but things will improve. Have you got a good friend or family member close by that you could talk to and maybe they could give you a little break and look after Aneke for a few hours one day?

Thinking of you and if you want to chat more you can always CAT me. take care.

Oh Verso I so feel for you. Sounds like you're having a rotten time and all the circumstances are against you at the moment. It must be hard enough coping with your dh's MS at the best of times let alone now you're having to deal with a demanding newborn plus all the trauma of what happened at and around the time of her birth. I haven't had a chance to read your other post yet detailing what happened then, but I imagine it has made you distrust those in and associated with the medical profession (with good reason). I hope that you feel you can trust your HV though, and that she is of some help.

I can only second what Merlin says, which is that it really does get easier all the time. I had an able-bodied (if not always -minded!) dh when I had dd and even so there were definitely times when I would happily have given her away to anyone who came to the door. The big advantage second time round is that you know you come out the other side - just try to believe that now. And I also definitely agree with Merlin's suggestion about trying to get someone to take Anneke for a few hours if you possibly can - one of the hardest things about having a tiny baby is the complete lack of time to yourself and a bit of time out can make all the difference to your sanity. Also, have you got any antenatal/postnatal group friends you can get together with? (Check if Surestart does anything in your area maybe?) When I had dd I found it enormously helpful to get together with other new mums for a good whinge.

Big hugs and hope you have an ok night tonight and a better day tomorrow. xxx

Verso sorry to hear your not feeling well at the mo, I hope it you'll start to feel better soon!

Darcie's skin has really cleared up, and has got her first set of jabs on wednesday, but she's a brave girl she'll b fine!

Verso, all the best in these difficult times. I know you love Anneke or you would not feel so distraught about the struggle. As long as you feel the emotions, you still have fight left in you. Babies are tougher and more resilient than we grownups think they are. I tell myself that but still can't help feeling like I am cracking up when I feel like I don't know what to do next and I am totally exhausted.

I took Maya to church yesterday - first time I've been there in 2 months. She got a Christian blessing from the lay minister and after church I took her to see a Tamil friend and she got a Hindu blessing there. all in the same morning.

Yesterday I reflected on how rich women are in more traditional societies where they get 6 sometimes 12 wks to bond with their newborn. Others look after their home and kids. And how the extended family cushions new mums in many places still today. (And pass on knowledge about B/F that they never teach in 2 hr workshops.) We may be 'independent' but this is definitely a downside of our hard won independence.

verso, how are you today? when are you next seeing your HV? is she supportive?

alux and seabird, see you on gf's website - have not posted anything yet tho' actually, i think it is rather nice to talk to other mums who are using the gf routine - the majority of times in rl, you are just met with disapproval. sigh. seabird, how old is your dd? tomorrow will be a real test - dh going to a pna meeting so i will have to do ds1 (3yo) and ds2 bedtime routine all by myself for the very first time since ds2 was born. horrors! and on saturday i get them both to myself to entertain the whole day. double horrors! wish me luck! any tips gratefully received from second time round mums ..... pleeease??

Have just logged on for the first time in a couple of weeks to catch up with you all and saw your post Verso. The emotions you're having sounded really familiar. When I had DS I spent the first 3 months almost hating every moment. My love for him was a definite slow grower as I found it all so hard - and I didn't go through half of what you've been through. I think that mothers often don't talk about their true feelings for fear of being seen as "bad" but I for one put my hand up and admit that in the first 2 weeks I asked my Mum to take DS away from me and that I didn't want him. Interestingly it's been different second time around but there are still days when it's really hard particularly when you're not getting a lot of sleep. Can your health visitor recommend any groups in your area? You sound like you need some support from other mums even if it's just holding the baby for half an hour to give your arms a rest.

It's weird isn't it how we're expected to find being a mother the most natural and easy thing in the world - and I'm sure some lucky people do find it so - but I bet the majority of people would say that it's something that they learn - the hard way! And however much we love our kids we all deserve a bit of time off to stop us going mad.

csa - just seen your post - ours must have crossed. My only tip for looking after 2 on your own is keep as busy as possible so the day goes fast! Only down side of this is that you are absolutely knackered by the end of it but hopefully have avoided any tantrums/boredom with your toddler. Are there any groups you could take your DS to? If not, what about swimming with baby in carseat by side of pool (I've done this and works OK as long as baby asleep!)or how about a soft play - maybe easier than swimming - trip to zoo/city farm. Then home for lunch - and afterwards watch a film for a couple of hours - Jungle Book firm fav in our house and only 1 hr 20 long so you don't feel too guilty letting the telly do the babysitting plus you get to sit down . Then arrange to meet up with friends/family in the afternoon around 3pm so they (or their children) can help entertain the toddler and you get to chat and drink cups of tea . Home for tea and you've managed to get yourself to around 6pm. At this point I recommend pouring yourself a stiff drink and phoning your DH and demanding him back home or else... Good luck .

bronnie, like the video idea. may have to try it out. and especially like the "pouring yourself a stiff drink and phoning your DH and demanding him back home or else... "

verso - so sorry to hear you so down. don't fib about your score- if it is pnd (which it sounds like it might be) help is available and it is better if you get it sooner rather than later. a friend of mine had it and was referred to the maudsley where she got very good treatment and is now actualy trying for no.2. 3 years or so ago she was sounding just like you and swore she'd never have another.

look after yourself and don't feel bad if you need help.

i'm off on hols tomorrow (gotta go and pack now)but maybe we could meet up when I am back if you feel like it. did you ever check if brockwell park is near you?

btw - sorry if I offended any gina followers - didn't mean to

We had Jack christened yesterday. He wore the chirstening gown that myself, brother and sister wore for ours. It was a beautiful day and Jack was brilliant considering there were 90 people - most of whom he had never met - and was passed around for cuddles for the majority of the time. Think I only held him once in a space of 3 hours.

We had Jack christened yesterday. He wore the chirstening gown that myself, brother and sister wore for ours. It was a beautiful day and Jack was brilliant considering there were 90 people - most of whom he had never met - and was passed around for cuddles for the majority of the time. Think I only held him once in a space of 3 hours.

Ahh congratulations aprilmeadow and alux on getting your little ones christened/blessed

Gem - glad to hear Darcie's skin is better. DS had his jabs last week. I gave him calpol beforehand and he didn't seem to have any adverse reaction.

csa - dd is 18m. Funnily enough I did the tea/bath routine tonight for only about the 3rd time since ds was born. It went surprisingly well, especially as dd decided she wanted to share ds's bath at 545(she normally baths after tea at 630) so I could feed ds while she sat in her highchair. So a good day that I will have to bear in mind next time I have a nightmare one I don't envy you Saturday on your own with them all day - good luck - hope it's sunny so at least your ds1 can let off steam outside!

Have a great holiday mother p

Thanks for all the replies, everyone. I handed in my questionnaire yesterday and the HV called me to recommend I see the GP to talk about maybe taking antidepressants as the next step (I'm already having postnatal counselling for birth trauma).

Not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, relieved that I was honest and that they're taking it seriously. On the other, scared about how serious it really is and the thought of taking drugs or whatever. That probably sounds a bit daft, but it's difficult to explain.

As for local groups - I got in touch with the NCT a while back and discovered a new local NCT postnatal group and we had our first meeting last week. Unfortunately everyone was sharing birth stories, which didn't especially help! (Ending up weeping at that meeting made me realise something was seriously amiss with me though, so I suppose it did help really.) The next meeting is tomorrow. There aren't very many of us though.

I've been trying to make sure I get out of the house every day, and this week I'm quite busy in any case. Anneke had her first vaccinations yesterday and is still sleeping off the stress I think, poor thing