June 2008: Nine months in, nine months out

[Essie3]

Here's to the next nine months!

Ooops! Don't know why I said hi twice!!

Going, try not to worry, though that's easy to say, and don;t beat yourself up cos you didn't spot anything wrong. When are they doing the scan?

Whinegums, you did the right thing, sometimes CC just isn't the right thing but it could work another time. Could he have been teething or suffering a cold or something? Could you sit next to the cot instead of leaving the room? At the moment T is hard to settle cos he is so mobile now, I have to keep going back in and putting him on his back. Sorry it was so traumatic .

Sponge, at the consultant - moron! Scans this early are just so difficult to read. Fingers crossed for Tuesday. It will be fine! I remember how hard those early weeks are...

BFs/Night feeds - I am still BFing 4-5 times a day because when I tried to cut it down to 3 times they started waking in the night. But they are waking 1-2 times each in the night now anyway so I am a bit confused about their feeding/sleeping at the moment! I started feeding them again in the night last week when they were hardly eating anything in the day (and I thought they had chicken pox). Well it turns out it is not pox but some bacterial thing (which has cleared up pretty much now with some cream the doc gave me), and now they are eating better so I am going to go back to not feeding in the night again tonight. Every time I stop feeding in the night I think 'that's it, never again, don't get them back into the habit of feeding' but then the first time they wake I give in . Will have to be stronger this time. It's CC for them tonight [tired].

I think when they are waking at 6am there is not much you can do about it - some babies just wake up then. I have heard some people actually put their kids to bed earlier ie at 6/6.30pm so that they at least get 12-ish hours (putting them to bed later does not work apparently!)

Ali, I am so impressed with your success! Well done. Even though I have had lots of success with CC it always surprises me a bit when it works.

Essie, I agree with you about night feeds - the AP stance whereby you let the baby lead seems odd to me. Iestyn is eight months old - how does he know what is best for him? You're his mother - you deserve to sleep and that means not feeding in the night!! Like you said, he is not wasting away, he is very happy, he just needed to be guided in the right direction .

Oh Rolf, I got your text but couldn't reply immediately and now I keep thinking must reply to Rolf's text but my phone is on other side of room... I will try to come next week but the DTs were exposed to chicken pox 10 days ago so wonder whether they will have it by then... And if they don't whether it is a good idea to come cos they could still be incubating it?

What does everyone think about that BTW? SIL is having her baby baptised on Sunday and I wasn't going to take the DTs because we thought E had pox, but now the doc says it is not pox (and MIL made a big fuss cos she really wants the DTs to be there) so now I am going to take them but they could be incubating the pox still so is it out of order to take them when there's a strong possibility that they could have it? They were exposed a week last Tuesday, the baby developed the spots two days after we saw him. He was in our house, playing on T&E's playmat with their toys etc, so how likely is it they have it? I am really in two minds cos MIL has really annoyed me making such a fuss about them being there (I feel like she is putting her desire to have all the children and grandchilren together above the wellbeing of the DTs and the other guests) but don't want to overreact and stop them going if there's no need.

Neenz - can you leave the decision until tomorrow night or Sunday morning? They won't definitely have caught it, but it sounds quite likely. The other children at the baptism may have already had it but probably the baby hasn't.Sorry, not much help am I? It's a difficult one!

Here is a post I never thought I would write: me offering Neenz advice on CC

Re: T being mobile in the cot. I have a book which specifically says not to resettle babies who can stand up in their cots on their backs when you go in. Infact is says not to touch the baby at all as it can lengthen the crying time. So if the baby is standing up it says to leave them. They will sit and then lie down by themselves eventually. Personally I am not sure about this as it sounds a bit dangerous but I thought it was worth mentioning.The book was recommended to my MIL by a GP whose own baby was cured of her sleeping problems plus 3 others in her NCT group v quickly. It is called "teach your child to sleep" by the Mill Pond Sleep Clinic. I can't link to Amazon as I am on the iPod, but I got it very cheaply secondhand from there.

Just popping in, struggling big time with eyes and Im stupidly busy!

I see there are ???? re sleep etc. For the last week Oli has started screaming by 6, I then do the bedtime routine through the screaming, bath, massage, bed, medication, connect her pump, blanket and teddy in her weak arm which she has started to fold round teddy, muslin half under her head then tucked inder her chin. 10 mins of winging later she is sound and apart from tonight she has just been sick! she is sleeping 13 hours

With my other kids, I have never switched a light on, nappy changed(unless wrotten)and after a certain age I wouldnt feed, I would go check, not pic up if poss, tell all ok etc, the less attention the better and go back to bed, you can usually tell if there is something really wrong, if there is nothing but attention, lie in bed and let i
them moan it out(you might fell exhausted but you get more rest listening & just a few nights they do take the hint, I PROMISE,stick to you guns every night if you can. Im doing the same even though oli is screaming the house down I dont give in to baby emotional blackmail or I will still be up with her a 6am.

GOING hope your DD is ok xx

SPonge

Another rough night here, anyone had any cc successes last night? Been up with Ethan since silly o'clock and am fed up now!

On a good note though, boys ski race yesterday, and they did really well, Stefan as you know had been poorly in the week and still wasn't 100%, he managed 7th place in his class which has v v competitive boys in their racing lycra suits!
Tristan came 2nd in his race and got a cup which he has just appeared with, I don't think he slept with it but it's not been far from him all night

Deb that is cute about Stefan and his trophy. Maybe you should stay in Austria and provide GB with our next ski team (with 3 it would be one up on the Bell Brothers), or do you think the boys will think of themselves as Austrian?

CC success last night. One feed at 3 a bit of grumbling at 8 and 9.30 but other than that he slept from 7 till 6.

Ali - Fletcher brothers sounds quite good doesn't it?

Glad to hear you're having success with CC, I'm starting it tonight. All guests have gone so I can turf the boys out of their bedroom and Ethan's wailing will only disturb us. I am being ridiculously optimistic and hoping that these next 2 nights will sort him out as Nigel is away in London next week and I'd rather not be feeling this tired when he's away. Wish me luck.

ps Pic of Tristan with trophy on FB and on my profile here!

Tristan looks completely chuffed. Tell him well done from England!

Ooh Ali, thanks for that. He is not actually standing up yet, just flipping over, rocking on all fours, spinning round so he across the cot rather than lengthways - but I am sure the advice is still the same so I should just leave him. It just this has coincided with his ability to move around - it's like he gets himself on all fours or whatever and then sceams because he doesn't know how to move from there!

Thanks Deb, we need to make the decision today cos we will take them to my mum's tonight if they are not coming the baptism. The baby is my nephew and he has not had pox but SIL doesn't mind if he gets them. Well done to your DSs!! And good luck on the CC tonight. I tried last night but caved in after 5mins. But I think they are sickening for something and hopefully the sleep issues will sort themselves soon (with a little nudge in the right direction with some CC)

Josey - you are a warrior! I am with you all the way but last night was strange, I just couldn't do it - for some reason I just thought they were really ill cos the screaming was so bad and E was arching her back when I picked her up and T was just making the worst screaming noise. But they are fine this morning the buggers . E woke at 2.30 (usually its 1.30 so I thought was great) so I went in a shush shushed, but she screamed so I tried water - no - then I just picked her up for a cuddle and she was really trying to fling herself around. I gave up after 5mins and fed her. She went back to sleep. Then T woke at 4 and screamed so I shush shushed then left the room, but he was so loud he woke E in the next room (never happens!) so they were both awake. I sent DH to try to settle Theo - he just screamed and screamed - I tried to settle E but she was screaming, I went to feed T, DH went in with E, I managed the get T to sleep after a feed and Calpol but E was crying/dozing with DH till 6.30 - then he tried to put her down in the cot and she screamed.. so he brought her in with us and she fed/slept on and off till 8.30. T slept till 8.30 too (well, I woke him). So I am not too tired but it was not a fun night. I am clinging on to the hope that they are poorly cos CC never used to be like this! Medised tonight!!

Bloody crap - DH got a phone call this morning and ran into work for an emergency - took his offshore kit "just in case, less than 5% chance he'd be needed out there". He's on a helicopter right now, might be home Tuesday. Not only is the house a mess and DS1 is upset (he gets bad separation anxiety sometimes) but Fraser's been running a fever for 24 hours and is definitely fighting a bug. I'm in panic mode. How the hell will I ever manage when I'm back at work? When am I supposed to call the doctor if they have a fever? Not until they're lethargic right? He's only at around 37.8 and it goes up and down with Calpol doses... He's also throwing up and has diarrhea, but is just grumpy, not miserable.

neenz I think it's best to let T figure out how to get down on his own - else you'll be up with him for the next few months! We struggled with DS1 doing this... And if they are even slightly sick, CC isn't going to work. CC is for bad habits, not when they are upset and feeling crap.

josey agree on baby emotional blackmail! I'm pretty strict with the boys...

oh and deb Tristan looks very happy! good for him!

Yeah you're right Aberdeen - I did think it was bad habits but now I am pretty sure they are sickening or teething (even though there seems to be nothing wrong with them now!).

Hope Fraser gets better soon. Ring NHS Direct if you are worried. That's crap about your DH . Do you have to return to work?

AH - keep an eye on the fever and treat with calpol/neurofen and frequent baths (well we do the last as recommended by hospital to take down fever after ds1's febrile convulsion). If he gets lethargic or his breathing gets funny then call dr's. DS1 had a temp. of 40.5 before his convulsion though so I wouldn't worry too much, they can cope with quite high temperatures.

Oh Abdn - what a bugger about your dh having to go offshore again, with Fraser not 100%.Hope he's feeling well again soon, and that Duncan is OK. Get them to bed early tonight and put your feet up. I have so much admiration for single parents and parents like you, Josey, Essie etc who regularly have to cope single handedly with young families.It is a hard job on your own. Nigel's only away for 2 nights this week but I can't say I'm looking forward to it.

Neenz - I'd be inclined to take them to the baptism then. Sounds like you had a rough night last night too, hope tonight is better.

sponge sheep carry a virus that causes spontaneous abortion which they can pass on to humans which is why you can't go near them when pregnant.

How are you five? How's Edie's sleep now?

Hi, neenz deb and sybil thanks for the kind thoughts and advice! I'm sick now too but at least I know it's just a sinus cold. I don't have the low-grade fever Fraser has, but I've got all the other symptoms so I'm not so worried about him.

neenz my DH is self-employed so we need the security of my salary in case his contract is terminated. He's trying to get a permanent position, which would give us more options, but I have to admit that I'm pretty scared of not working too. Not in the short term, but as a scientist, my options for going back to work once the boys were grown would be really limited.

I took the boys to Tesco and stocked up on frozen meals, plastic tat, and chocolate for me. I feel much more able to survive the weekend now!

AH - sorry you're having to cope on your own. That's really crap. I find it much more difficult when it's unexpected single-parenting.

Neenz - hope the DTs are feeling better. The coffee morning is bumps/babes so I'd be much more cautious about spreading infections than I would if it was snotty toddlers with festering germs.

I am getting so tired with all these crap nights. Ironically the last 2 weren't quite as bad as usual but somehow that's made me feel worse. I've got a really sore swollen gum and some horrid eye thing going on so I'm stressed and miserable. I'm in no state to tackle the girls' sleeping habits but desperate to do so. Sorry to be so glum and sorry for not reading all the posts properly.

Oh I should give the coffee morning a miss then just in case, Rolf. That's a shame, it would have been really nice to come. Sorry the sleep is so bad - I know when you are really tired it makes tackling it even harder.

Abdn, yes I can see why it's important for you to go back to work - it is not easy juggling it all is it esp when you have no family near (which I don't think you do...?). I am feeling really wobbly about going back to work, but that's only cos I have been reading one of Steve Biddulph's books (very anit-childcare) so I don't want to leave them now! Must not read books! lol

No!!!! don't read Steve Biddulph! He's the worst for inducing ridiculous guilt trips!

Hi Deb thanks for asking, she is OK ish, we are still taking turns sleeping down with her when we have guests in but I am going to invest in 2 way radios with a baby monitor, we used one when we were away and they have a much better range than an ordinary baby monitor.

Sebastian has a stinking cold and has lost his voice from coughing so much so just ploughing on through, trying to avoid medication, he doesn't have a temp just a very runny nose and a cough.

How is everyone tonight?

Aberdeen - hope that you are feeling better with a well stocked fridge

Rolf - sorry you are feeling so tired. I completely know what you mean about not having the energy to tackle it.

Deb - how is the CC going?

Sponge - are you ok this weekend?

Hello everyone else.