The one where they put their best feet forward

[Soph73]

There you go Ellie

ladybee yeah I'm nowhere near that far, 2 wks sun by my dates which is already moving far quicker than I wanted!!! Why is it pregnancies drag when you can't wait but when ur quite happy to enjoy the time they cooking it flies by???? anyway... think its an ecv you're thinking of? A cvs stands for chorionic villus sample and is when they take a part of your placenta away to analyse the dna. Similar to an amnio but can be done earlier. Higher risk of miscarriage tho. Its usually done if you have a high risk from a nuchal scan for downs or edwards but that's not our reason. Ds2's deafness is caused by a recessive gene muation so we have a 1 in 4 chance of future babies being profoundly deaf. Its a pretty controversial topic as many people believe deafness isn't a disabailty and its not right to abort for that reason etc. I totally stand by that and love ds2 with all my heart, deaf or not, it makes no diff to me. HOWEVER, this baby was unplanned, I was actually pretty sure I was going to terminate when I found out because of our current circumstances. I couldn't do it and, to be honest, am not sure I will whatever the results of the cvs but I NEED to know. We are snowed under with appts for ds2 and provided all goes well with the assessment he should receive cochlear implants this year. I'm not sure we could dedicate the same to another baby with the same needs at the moment. Well maybe we could bt I need to make an informed decision. Not sure why I've written such an essay about this!! Prob nerves trying to justify having it done tues. I just don't want to start an abortion debate I know what a sensitive subject it is so hope I haven't offended anyone

12 weeks sun not 2 weeks or I would be a bit mental

oh of course it is - yes, memories of the testing questions come flooding back.
Don't worry about writing an essay, am not surprised you had a lot in your mind ready to spill out as it's such a complicated subject and one with so many variations according to personal situations I find it very difficult to understand how anyone who's got any sort of imagination can come down black or white on that issue.
In the end, everyone does what they feel is best for them, don't they?

Peachy, completely unrelated to calcium/drinking issue, but do you have a copy of this book?, if not, would you like one? I picked one up at work today (one our contractual benefits) thinking of you and can put it in the post if you want. If you've got it already I'll pop it back for someone else...

I don't have it LB but would love it and will pay for postage of course, thank you. Shall I CAT you?

PM don't be silly,talk it out. If its me you were afraid of offending please don't worry. FWIW my experience is that post dx / treatment teh appts vanish so much that a second sn child becomes manageable but yes the apptload is prohibitive isn't it? Hope the CVS goes well. 1 in 4 are good odds; ds4 has no signs of asd thus far and that was a 1 in 5 odd of happening! (stillc ould regress, but thats rarer)

oh good, yes CAT me your address, don't worry about postage - remember you sent me that fabbo nappy mat ages ago so I owe ya!

I just can't believe we're up to the weekend already, where did that go?? I went to the dentist today to replace a filling that fell out, he reminded me that I was still on maternity exemption but it was going to run out soon - so ladies, if you haven't had a check up recently, go get one while your exemption is still valid.
BTW, he used a laser instead of a drill! it was amazing, none of that horrid squeeling sound and only very occasional twinges, much much better than previous experiences.

We don't get maternity exemption over here, is rubbish.

PM - don't worry about offending. This thread is for discussing whatever, and nothing is going to offend anyone, (obviously unless you are being deliberately offensive like, 'EllieG smells of poo' or similar). Best of luck to you for CVS x

Thanks peeps and no, Peachy, I didn't think of you in particular but of any mum like me with a SEN child really. I know we see our children as no different and wouldn't swap them for anything so I just didn't want people thinking I'm some Hitler type who wants a perfect race!!! Also I know abortion in general is so controversial especially when u see so many wonderful couples who would kill for a baby. To be honest I still am so unsure about terminatio, I just need to know or that newborn hearing test will be all I think about for the next 6 months!!!!

Paranoidmummy, good luck for Tuesday. I really hope there's no decision that you have to make after Tuesday, but if it should show something, I would do exactly the same as you - get all information, and then make a decision. Knowing what exactly you're deciding on is the only real way imo. I know I don't have a sn child, but knowing the ladies on here that does, I'm sure everyone would welcome you saying on here whatever you're thinking or worried about. I quite like this thread (well, a lot obviously, as I seem to spend an awful lot of my spare time on here ), in that everyone on here are like friends, actually caring. Yet it is easier to sometimes discuss fears (or just generally moaning sometimes) than in real life. And once something's over, it's over and done with. So discuss all you want, I find it really interesting and others on here would probably know what you're going through.
Phew, how's that for an essay?!

Ladybee, I'm SO jealous of your dentist practise. Our's still use old fashioned drill. And even though I know I should go again (problem with one of the back fillings), I'm terribly scared (as in borderline phobia - sometimes worried that I might hyperventilate, which would very likely lead to epileptic fit if I do actually hyperventilate). It's the drill bit that freaks me out completely. So now my problem - save potentially hundreds (I think I might need to get a crown replaced), but risk epilepsy (haven't had an actual fit in years, but still showing up on EEG and taking meds), or just stuff it and wait until I get actual toothache and then max up my credit card with a private place... I'll probably do that, just because it's so absolutely horrendous and majorly, majorly embarrassing (yes, I know it shouldn't be, but it is). I've only ever once had a fit in public (first thing in the morning at work), and hate even thinking about it, even though all my friends were absolutely brilliant about it.
Btw, on that topic, anyone knows any private dentists that will use laser / put you to sleep or something where you don't have to remortgage your house? I've even thought about going to Bulgaria or whatever those countries is that always advertise, but am slightly worried about the lack of control when you use medical services abroad.

Well Sal, my dental practice is in covent garden (so convenient for work) and the dentist specialises in pain relief/sedation for nervous patients, and they take NHS patients - basically they register you as NHS and then give you the option of what treatment you want - basic check up goes on NHS, tooth coloured fillings is private (£85) - I have a dental insurance policy through work so it helps to pay for extra costs. Let me know if you want the contact details.

Oh yes please Ladybee, that would be brilliant. As I work there anyway, I could do it last thing before I come home in the evening.

Have had a lovely, lazy day today, watching old dvds and generally just lying with my feet on dh's lap on the sofa! :D

Can't remember if I told you, but the holiday to Peru in June is now delayed to September, as dh couldn't get two weeks off in June anymore (change in deadlines - I behaved like a teenager and sulked for 2 days ). We agreed on a short family break end June now, but it has to be relatively cheap - something which isn't too easy in high season. The search continues...

What's everyone else been up to?

Not much. DSD on sleepover so this morning should have been lovely and relaxed, but unfortunately me and DH had a huge row over nothing so is not.

I was a bit controlling - his turn to get up this morning - on sat he gets a lie-in and on sun I do. He didn't give her proper breakfast (same every sunday) and when I came down she was screaming hungry. He was 'Oh she's just tired' which I knew was not the case. I said she normally eats more than that (he gave her a tiny amount) and he said she wouldn't eat any more and I said oh you never give her enough (which he doesn't) and he said you're so controlling and I said you never look after her properly.......and so it went on.

And now we Aren't Speaking. And the baby is down for a nap, and won't sleep either.

Oh Ellie, sounds like a (very regular) day in my life. Guess you know this, but tiredness makes it all worse. Any chance whatsoever (says she who didn't speak to dh last night as I was cross about nonsense) to have someone look after Mollie and dsd while you and dh go and have some rest? As in organised rest, forced rest. Am thinking flotation tank / a walk somewhere deserted, then sleeping in a tent or somewhere really quiet, just the two of you, for the night / going canooing / horseriding / (I'm clearly cracking up)-ing.

None of the suggestions above seems practical to me yet too (childcare, Roelof, etc etc), but I've got this faint suspicion that a step away from it all, away from the situation, where you're forced to just do nothing (so difficult to remember how to do that lately), will give everything more perspective.

Either that, or hit him over the head with a pan or something. That's my backup plan.

Right now I don't want to be in the same room as him let alone on our own.

KNOBBER

He's just told me I've got a 'superior attitude' when it comes to Molly and I 'make the age-old mistake that all women make' about babies thinking that men can't look after them

BLODDY KNOBBER GRRRRRRRRRRRR

He's not thinking straight this morning! I'm trying to refrain from saying "get the pan", but maybe just keep it within arm's reach.

Or, if he wants to be clever (what is it with men lately - idiots, the whole lot of them! ), let him prove you wrong (yeah right, but bear with me)... Let him look after Molly for 2 whole days (e.g. Saturday, Saturday night and Sunday). Finances might be the limiting factor in my master plan, but if you could get a good deal somewhere, go to a spa hotel or some relaxing place with your mother/sister/friend, force yourself to read books, get a massage, have a slow, relaxing meal, not call home all the time etc. Molly will be fine (well, she'll obviously miss you, but she won't have any lasting emotional scars), and he'll be more careful next time when he brags about how they can do it just as well.

I am going in the shower and then I'm going out. Nothing is prepared for the little one today, he can do it himself. Am done with making things easier for him and then he thinks I do nothing. Bah.

Back later when not spitting bile

See Ellie KNOBBER is the best word isn't it

DH said to me this morning during a row about him not doing the dishes AGAIN that i should get off my fanny and get a job

He too kabout 3 seconds to say sorry

he soooooooooooooo knows its not worth it

Bloody men are bloody knobbers. and also peckers is quite a good word.

Ellie you can come and stay with me when dh is in thailand and let him look after Molly, yeah!

oh and my sofa is finally coming. I sent a very rude email and about 12 hours later they found a whole sofa. amazing, isn't it?

Hahaha Scorpio, so that's what the "rude email" comment was about! I was dying to know but too afraid to ask, lol. Great result!

lol at you being too afraid to ask

I am very pleased!

There is a town in Meath called Nobber!

here