December 2008 - Its not wind they are smiling.

[JamInMyWellies]

Here we go ladies Rosmerta suggestion.

Hello everyone,

Long time no post. Lovely to meet some of you and your gorgeous, not to mention impeccably behaved, babies at the RFH last week. Have posted a few pics. It's funny what people were saying about posters not looking anything like you were expecting - I know what you mean. Mind you, I don't even look like I expect on photos at the moment anyway - tis always an unpleasant shock. Would love a nice photo of me and the DCs but it is just not going to happen (am loving all your photos by the way, especially yours trace - they're knockout). Am debating joining the Fatties thread as I have about a stone and a half to lose, but I'm not sure I've actually reached the point where the thought of being fat appeals even less than the prospect of a diet. Anyway, unfortunately it looks like nobody managed to capture the elusive Cat on film at the meet-up, but I can exclusively reveal that she looks nothing like a cat. Are we going to start organising the next meet then - Veggie is it mid-Feb you're down? That's only a couple of weeks away. Perhaps you could pick a date if you are up for meeting (sorry if it's already being arranged - not sure if I've read the thread thoroughly).

kayz sorry to hear about DH's job - with any luck he'll find something soon. Hope you enjoy Crufts - thanks to jj for suggesting & organising it.

Effie the Guardian and the Hackney Gazette in one month! You must let me have the number of your PR.

Gutted I couldn't go to the park & play in the snow with DS yesterday due to a breastfeeding injury (did my back in contorting myself into all kinds of bizarre positions trying to "coax" DD into feeding). Have posted a pic DP took of him though on my profile (along with a rather fetching pic of DD taken at the meet-up). He's getting too big for his wellington boots - he actually corrected my pronunciation of basket this morning, the cheeky sod! I can see I'm fighting a losing battle here, and I'm going to be tearing my hair out when we move to Essex. Need to get him up the M6 for some emergency elocution lessons I think.

LadyT you were asking about the move to Essex last time I posted (aeons ago) - yes, we've got somewhere to go to, although it's still being built. We will be moving to a village, which will be a bit of a culture shock I think. Perhaps you can give me some tips on surviving village life, although one thing's for sure - no one will be sniggering at my Prada handbag! Ooh also a Jonathan Coe fan - I don't think there was a single friend or family member who didn't get What a Carve Up! for Christmas or birthday in 1995. Oh dear, I bet he must have been mortified by the misunderstanding ... you never know, it might find its way into one of his future novels! Oh and where do you go in Cuba? I spent a couple of months there many moons ago (in fact that's where DP and I met, at a party in Havana on Millennium Eve no less). I spent a week or two in the east, in Santiago & Baracoa. Such an amazing country - I'd love to go back but I imagine it will be a very long time before I can.

On the subject of demand feeding - if only! DD is not a very demanding baby and sometimes it feels like I spend most of my waking hours trying to persuade her to eat something. She quite often gets upset while feeding and cuts the feed short, or just refuses to feed altogether even though she might not have fed for hours and hours. On the odd occasion I feel like she's eaten a good amount she generally pukes it all back up again. I wouldn't mind but she's hardly piling on the pounds - she doesn't seem unwell though and is gaining weight, albeit very very slowly. Not looking forward to getting her weighed again on Thursday.

Anyway as usual I've run off at the keyboard and not even covered half of what I wanted to, and lunch calls (which will mean DD will of course wake up as I put the first mouthful to my lips). Just wanted to say that I'm glad things seem to be getting a bit easier for most of us, even if it's 2 steps forward and one step back sometimes.

She might only be a baby, Jump, but you are only human. And you are also very tired. Don't be hard on yourself. And DO focus on the 99.9% of the time when she gets unadulterated adoration and affection, not the .1% when she doesn't. It's the same for everyone. A baby isn't going to remember the odd cross word! If they do, I am in big trouble. If I get to the end of my rope I inevitably find myself saying in agonised tones "Oh for crying out loud...put a sock in it, will you?" I do have to force myself not to say "Oh for *uck's sake", which is actually what I am thinking when I say the above, and I bet I have said it once or twice anyway.

Kayz - our snow is melting too! Not much left now. I think Oxfordshire had the least, which is odd, because all the counties around us had tons.

NotSoBigBird - really good to hear from you, I was wondering how you were getting on. Wow, hope you can negotiate the baby yoga with two.

Lal - I didn't like the last JC so much, but it's still good. The only one of his I haven't read is the BS Johnson biography, and I had that for Christmas. (Yeah, and I am not going to read it now, fuckass, is what I felt like saying to him on Saturday night ) I loved The R. Club and The Closed Circle so so much. He said he is working on another novel. We were talking about naming characters and he said finds it almost the hardest bit, and he still uses the baby names book he has from when they had their daughters!

Kim, the photos were lovely. Just showed DP as he was nosing over my shoulder and he thought so too.

Well, after Trace's trip to the doctor about her bum (you were very brave, I hope the cream is helping) I am off to London tomorrow to see a vascular specialist about the dodgy veins in my legs. Oooh, the glamour. They have really improved since pregnancy has finished but they still need looking at. I feel like an old lady.

Anyway, if anyone's around for lunch or afternoon coffee, let me know. No worries if not, as I have a million other things to do as usual!

Hello.
Our snow has turned to treacherous ice today and the school playground was a skating rink disaster waiting to happen - i was half terrified at the sight of all the tiny children slipping on their bottoms, and half highly amused at the older ones sliding along the ground penguin-style on their bellies! Oh to be a youngster again!

re routine - I'm basically demand feeding. in the day we usually feed for max 10 mins, play/grizzle for 45 mins- 1 hour, sleep for 30 mins ish, then start again! It means I feed her every 2 hours if not more and I can't seem to stretch out any of the stages. In the evening I offer her more even if she doesn't seem hungry, so she feeds at 6 and 7, or 5.30 and 6.30, then put her to bed. She has started to sleep then until 10.30 ish, then 2 or 3 ish then 6 or 7 ish, then off we go again with the day!

My friend has a one week old baby - he was 10lb 6 and is bigger than my nearly 8 week old. He is already sleeping as well as she does on a night, but I guess he's already got a larger tummy capacity!

P will be 8 weeks old on Thursday - still waiting for the 6 week check! Rang the GP and they told me to be patient! The lady that does babies has been off so they're behind schedule!

JJ - i think it's totally normal to get frustrated with your LO - and yes i feel guilty when i get cross with her, but it's normal. i guess it's about knowing your limits though and knowing yourself. if you feel like you're getting too wound up then walk away. I used to be outraged at how anyone could shake a baby, but since having children i can completely understand (not excuse or justify) how you can be soooooooo tired and frustrated that you could shake them. it's scary how much power we have. same with the thought that if we don't feed them then they can't sort it out themselves. i think it's just realising the responsibility we have as mums, but if your thoughts are bothering you or are occupying a lot of your time, perhaps you could talk to your gp or hv. hope you don't mind me saying that xxx

jj it's only natural to feel frustrated. It will get easier though - you will learn to be more patient, and at the same time you will need less patience anyway as communication becomes easier (spot the mother of a toddler who hasn't reached 2 yet!).

BigBird toddler pub? Do tell!

AH, PD - cross posted! Ooh, you are having somewhere built - how posh! I don't have any tips for surviving village life, bar driving (which you already can) and internet access, to retain contact with civilisation. And the Collins Gem Guide to Birds and some Hunter wellies. We went on such a lovely long walk across the fields yesterday and wound up at the farm shop again, and it's so satisfying (we saw a hare on the way), but...it is obviously isolating.

I love Carve Up. The client who wrote the show that I had to go and see on Saturday night wrote of the many abortive adaptations that have almost got on the telly, which is how come Jonathan Coe was there to see this other show. I don't think it will ever get on, which is a shame.

Cuba - been to various bits of it - it's a real passion - but I usually go to Guardalavaca (that's where you mentioned, Daisy) as I have friends there. I feel so safe there. Oh man, I need a holiday...

Santiago is lovely as well. How fab that you met your DP in Havana! Tres tres romantic.

Woohoo!! I ahev some pink flowery wellies. I have wanted some for ages and the shop was having a sale.

JJ I do get frustrated with DS2. Like last night he just wouldn't settle. We fed him and he fell asleep so I put him in his moses basket and he cried. So I tried to give him his bottle but he didn't want it. He wouldn't keep his dummy in either. I did get quite annoyed and then felt awfully guilty afterwards.

I made a GP appointment today as my knee has been hurting alot. The only appointment they had this week is at 7am on Friday. I'll probably be half dead.

hello all

typing one handed as ever as dd2 is feeding. i am covered in sick after the most spectacular projectile vom she just produced. i am sure i should not be feeding again so soon after a vom but she was frantic. she developed a sniffle last night and it seems to have upset eating and sleeping.

finally persuaded dd1 into the snow for a proper play yesterday. she actually quite liked it and we made a snow dog (her choice). will put a pic up in a minute (of dd1, not the snowdog which looked like a snowbrick with a tail).

re feeding - i am demand feeding too. like sl's ds my dd2 grumbles for food after about 20mins of play. i never know what else to do other than feed her. i am aiming for a routine with the naps and hoping the feeds just gradually space out.

ladyt - i would be up for coffee tomorrow pm if you are around this way. what part of London will you be in? will you have O with you?

I can not seem to type today. I mean I have.

Oh dear - didn't mean to sound all posh there (heaven forbid!). Some friends are building an extension to their house including a self-contained granny flat type thing, which we will be renting off them. It's not a permanent thing but should be great for the summer as they have a garden and 3 kids. Plus it's got 2 bedrooms, which we will need desperately once DD outgrows her moses basket and chucks DS out of his cot (when she's at secondary school at this rate).

A quick question. Are anybody elses LO's trying to lift their heads?

DS2 keeps trying to lift his head up and every now and again he manages it. HV said not to let him do it but how we are meant to stop him I don't know.

Yes LadyT the Havana thing does sound romantic doesn't it? Would it spoil the magic if I told you I spent the evening absolutely hammered on cheap rum, nearly spat my mojito in DP's face with laughter when he told me his name then spent most of the rest of the evening sleeping, chucking up and smoking peso cigars? What a catch!

kayz your HV is a nutter.

JJ, Trace, LadyT - am with you on the frustration thing, though mine is not usually directed at the baby, rather his big sisters or, this morning, their father . M is good natured at the moment, juxtaposing neatly with DD1 ("I don't WANT to") and DD2 ("Mummeeeeeeeeeeee"). He's the least effort of the 3 , but this can change on a daily basis. I am afraid I have sworn at mine and had to leave the room on one occasion as I was so angry with DD1 I needed some space from her. This is esp bad as DD1 repeats things one says and has been known to mutter "bloody Andrew" round Waitrose, much to the amusement of fellow shoppers. They have gone to nursery today though they need to be collected early so my precious baby time is limited.

Kim, the photos are lovely.

NQSBB, hats off to you with your DD and your lovely twins. Nice to hear from you.

KMP - we have no routine. Nada. Niente. Rien. I feed M when he either needs it (if alone) or when I can slot him in (with the other girls around) and he is downstairs being fed up most evenings as he won't settle well upstairs and I worry that DD1 will get out of bed and maul him if I leave him upstairs . She is a bit of a tinker at th emoment and helped herslef to half a bottle of Jo Malone last night when supposed to be going to sleep, leaving a greasy, if fragrant, mess. I'd rather have him downstairs where I can keep an eye. PLus I have a theory (which worked with DD2) that if you fill them up in the evening they go for longer at night. Not worked yet, but am hoping.....

WG, so glad your dad came down. I feel teary today too. I think the weather might have a lot to do with it.

LadyT, Mr Coe has gone right down in my estimation after his comments to you. I am a heifer at the moment and feel self conscious about my size. I know what you mean about declining parties as you feel too fat. I too would decline a party where there are people who don't see me regularly, esp as I look old as well as fat. Glad all went well (or as well as it could) in Cornwall for you and your DP.

Hello everyone else. Am just off to settle down with M for a long feed as I need to pick the girls up and have him well stuffed to leave him with my neighbour for an hour as I walk there. Must say, this snow is really getting to me. I had so many good plans for this week and it's all gone wrong. As a Virgoan control freak I find this very hard to deal with - must make a list to deal with it all and reorganise presto pronto.

Massive cross post there, sorry. Hello Arti,how are you today?

Kayz, you can't stop them lifting their heads. How ridiculous to suggest that you can. How some of these people get qualifications I will never know.

JJ Don't feel bad, I was the same last night when the Miracle blanket wasn't quite the miracle it has been for the last few days! Actually, it was once he was settled, but it took 3 attempts - i'm getting slack though and put him down having changed him before the feed and not immediately after, so the first time he cried was due to his nappy, and the second could well have been wind but I decided to swaddle then feed again, and then he finally settled third attempt after several choice words the first two attempts! He has also been "handed" to dh in a "you deal with him" kind of way on several occasions!
veggie are you down here and meeting up soon then?

major step forward! I've just discovered the head butting thing doesn't mean wind!! It means tank is empty!!

Kayz, I would like to skyrocket some of these HVs to a particularly inclement planet. Sounds like total guff to me, don't worry about it.

Aww, Syb, he didn't mean it. He was just being a tactless idiot. Writers spend a long time on their tods and I honestly think it turns them a bit mental. But it just made me feel awful. Like you, I feel so self-conscious about it at the moment and it's making me a bit miserable. Shame about the Jo Malone. Which smell was it? I like the Nectarine one and also the Wild Fig and Cassis.

Well, PD, it doesn't sound like isolation will be too much of a problem then! Love the Cuban story. The thing which most amazed me about that was actually the Mojito spitting - every time I have been, I haven't been able to have a proper one as there is a massive shortage of mint

Arti, yes, I'd love to meet up. Happy to head to Westfield. I need to be gone by about 3.30/4 but could get there by 1.30 or so if necessary, so anytime betwixt the two if you fancy it. I will have little O though, in a Baby Bjorn.

JJ yes the frustrated thing here too. I also have an issue with inanimate objects, but they tend to get thrown across the room rather than just verbally abused if they piss me off so fortunately DS is coming off somewhat more lightly. DH has sworn at him too. One morning we were tired, emotional and I was crying about something. He was trying to make me feel better, and as he was doing it, DS started crying, and he said to him...wait for it..."SHUT UP..YOU...LITTLE...TOSSER!" I couldn't believe it! DH is normally so mild mannered as well, and doesn't swear much. Poor DS. I use the f word occasionally when frustrated with him as well. It's bad and I must stop.
By the way have you seen "In Bruges"?? If you get angry with inanimate objects there is a scene in that which will make you laugh. DH was totally pissing himself laughing at it because it reminded him of me in a temper so much!
Kayz your HV is a weirdo. DS has been lifting his head around pretty much since birth. I have never had anyone say it was a bad thing, lots of the health professionals have noticed and commented that he seems to have a strong neck though.
My HV just been round. Not only is he a he, but he quite a strange man. He kind of reminds me of Richard E Grant out of Withnail and I. Not what you would expect from a HV. But still, he didn't give any daft advice like kayz's so that's fine. DS now weighs 9lbs 8 which is good!
LadyT I have to say I feel a bit sorry for JC, he must have been mortified. He probably looked at you, heard you were on maternity leave, saw you didn't have a baby with you and assumed you hadn't had it yet! At least he didn't assume you were pregnant WITHOUT knowing you were on maternity leave. My friend had someone insistently offer her a seat on the tube because they thought she was pregnant. She wasn't, and she hadn't had a baby either! She went on a big diet she was so mortified. What was it I heard a comedian say..."Better a pregnant girl standing up, than a fat girl crying!" Terrible

SL something similar happened to a non-pregnant, childless friend of mine. She bumped into someone she hadn't seen for ages and he took one look at her belly and said "No need to ask what you've been up to!" Oh, the shame! Like your friend, she's considerably slimmer now ...

oh pd that is even worse if it's someone you know!!!
She's not slimmer any more actually. She had a baby

I am such an idiot. I couldn't see DS2 breathing so I prodded him. Of course he is fine and it was just me but I woke him up. He has gone back to sleep on me but I feel dreadful for interupting his sleep.

don't worry kayz, i think we have all done that at some point or another. i certainly have.

ladyt - westfield would be perfect. glad you will have O, i will have N. i said i would meet mil in the morning so i need to check timings with her and then work out when i can get to westfield. will call her as soon as i have picked up dd1.

ladyt - mil just called. i can easily get to westfield by 13.30.

anyone else around west london tomorrow?

Excellent. If you don't have my number from last time I will email it to you. Are we lunching or just coffeeing? I need to know as I now have to be careful what I consume and either way will have to plan ahead Please blindfold me if we have to pass the champagne bar.