December 2008 - Its not wind they are smiling.

[JamInMyWellies]

Here we go ladies Rosmerta suggestion.

CAT it comes down to confidence when I had DS1 I used to read books and ask advice from anyone who would listen and bearing in mind I had nannied on and off for about 12yrs so technically knew what I was doing. I still used to do as you are and try it all for varying periods of time. It wasnt until I decided that enough was enough and stopped reading the manuals and started thinking ok what would I like to happen that I got anywhere with DS1. Then him sleeping at night and napping in the day got easier I am not going to say it all came out right but I could deal with it all better as I was listening to myself. I wish I had the cash to come visit you. Honestly if you fancy a visit to the country you can get a train direct fom liverpool st and it takes about 45mins then I am 5 mins from the station, you would be more than welcome.

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DS has first lot of immunisations this morning - can't wait to see how much he weighs now. I gave up weighinhg him after about 4 weeks. he was growing beore my eyes so I figured his actual weight was irrelevant to me!

Am starting to feel strain now of having to split my time between DS and DD. I do feel at times that DS gets nowhere near the quality 'mummy' time that DD got when she was this age. I'm so concious that DD doesn't get jealous or feel left out that its DS that always gets shoved back in his cot or whatever. I second those that have said the baby gets left to cry for a lot longer. Guess I'm just tired this morning and feeling a little DS was up a few times in night and DD is now full of cold so had to sort her in the night as well. DH's useless at the moment and his comment as he has just left for work..'I don't know how you do it love, oh and can you iron me a clean shirt for tomorrow when you get chance' I feel like ironing his head

Hello girls .... it's chutneymary here with a fancy new name to match my fancy new internet provider. I am now sitting in my bedroom with a working internet service which has not cut out or done anything else stupid. Only taken me since mid December to get it sorted .

I am so thrilled to be back full time and look forward to posting regularly. Hope all are well and happy. I'll try to read the last few pages of posts but as I've been off for soooo long you might need to bear with me as it'll take some time to get up to date with everyone's news.

Hope all are feeding, sleeping, smiling, not windy - both babies and mothers (well, apart from the windy bit). Take care and love to all.

Helllooooo

Has been ages. Had a lovely trip to Yakshire - although couldn't really get online so woefully out of touch. Was absolutely lovely to meet Trace and Kayz. They're lovely! And their babies are bona fide beautiful. December ladies are so clever...

Ladyt am happy to take on mantle of Phil Collins (although that's where it will have to stop - horrible little man) if I can go and see Bisou too...

Are we still planning south bank meet up next week? Feel like I should have brought ceremonial gift from north to south - baby flat cap perhaps?

Cat I think you're being heroic. I really do. Similarly to Jam/Haggis I had an epiphany last time when I stopped reading baby books. I just got a simple rough shape for the day and it seemed to get better. But worth remembering that your baby is still tiny! Just time passing makes it better too.

Veggie am of robot hoover. More robots to do housework can only be a good thing IME. Bring on the one that can do bathrooms.

Bisou am astonished that you're singing something so hard so soon - is it a high F that you have to get to?(pregnancy brain). How lovely for your little one that he has a mummy who can sing so beautifully for him. Mine not similarly blessed - DS actually winced once when I was mid-verse.

All advice on dogs and babies sounds v sensible. My parents have snarling alsation so was slightly fraught keeping DS and DD well away.

Hello orange how are you finding the baby bjorn? I have a wilkinet thing from last time but my back is hurting quite a bit - someone told me that BBs are better for your back.

Arti so pleased you've had success with the bottle. Makes such a difference psychologically. I felt really trapped with DS when he didn't take a bottle. I've found Tommee Tippee ones good this time and they're bringing out a BPA free range at the end of the month.

Quite fancy baby cinema at Greenwich picture house next week - and wg you're absolutely right perfectly possible to listen to other people's babies crying without it causing same level of stress - Pingu/ Chutney I think it's local-ish to you if you fancy. Is at 11:30 on Weds.

V pleased with ourselves this morning as last night both DC were in bed asleep by 7:30 and I made us pre-supper manhattans and we spent evening listening to records (am warming up for watching Revolutionary Road) they obviously then caused havoc during the night but we had a nice evening.

Hope everyone has a good day. Am v excited as am going to hang about in Liberty this afternoon. Cheeky spot of cheerfulness in C & O bar in order I think (or chot of speerfullness as I said the other day - need to keep a measure on size of spot...)

Gah - DS up all night with growth spurt/cold/heebiejeebies. DS1 at cm's today so will try and catch up on some sleep!

lal: lol at your DS wincing mid-song, DS1 has been known to shout MUMMY STOP! at my spririted rendition of baa baa black sheep .

Bisou: am also v impressed at Queen of the Night, I remember a (v good) student production of the magic flute where they had to draft in a professional just for that role. One of my favourite operas, esp that lovely duet betw Papageno and Papagena at the end. Tamino is v dull tho - I can't decide whether it is a boring part to sing or all the Taminos I've heard have been crap

Am impressed by people's knowledge of opera, I enjoy it but don't know that much about it

I'm also joining in the diet club. I need to lose about 3 stone which will put me at my pre-wedding weight. I've also got a deadline as we've been invited to a christening & a wedding!

Cat, you are doing really well! I agree with others who said it all clicked into place once I stopped reading the books/following everyone's advice. I think the books are a useful starting point but they do contradict each other so I ended up feeling like I was going in circles.

Cat - big hugs to you xxx . I've had a wobble and thought I should be in more of a routine, and my gina-trace fusion has gone out of the window with another growth spurt...I borrowed gina from a friend this week and have spent 4 days trying to do it and failing at every hurdle - she won't sleep long enough, she won't be awake long enough, I just get her off then we have to go to school so I wake her up, then she's supposed to be awake and she falls asleep in the sling/ car seat on the school run - I find I'm constantly chanting times in my head..."she fed at 8 so she needs to feed at 11 and 2 and 5..." then she yells with hunger (or is it?!!!) after an hour so I change to " right next feed 1 then 4", then that goes wrong... Today I'm going to try to just go with her flow but with restrictions - ie not going to let her sleep more than a couple of hours because that always leads to a worse night. My friend was saying it doesn't matter about the detail - just have a rough idea of where you're heading, so like I'd like P to sleep in her cot definitely at night and for day sleeps if we're home, so I will always try to put her in it. If she sleeps, she sleeps. If she wails and won't settle, i'll take her out and she can sleep on me, and that's not a failure, it's just a step towards my rough goal. If each day she manages 30 seconds more in the cot then we're heading in the right direction. I want her to be awake after her feeds for a bit to learn the 'day' pattern, but if she only manages 5 minutes, then so be it. I like the idea of a calming pre-bed bath and wind down time, but if she voms or poos all over herself in the day, that's when she gets her bath and I'm not doing another one at night just for the sake of it. And I don't bath her every day. Just when I can be bothered or when she mings! Sorry I'm waffling, I just want you to feel free to do what it easy on your family - not try to fit in with anyone else's expectations or to set yourself really high ones then feel bad when you don't reach them.
And I second what Veggie said about them being very forgiving. My dd1 spent her first 2 months in hospital so had a strict routine, few cuddles, noisy-ish environment with lights on overnight, then came home and had loads of attention, dark quiet room, changed to BF - everything went to pot! After a few months I was VERY unwell with PND (had to go to Psyche Hospital), spent a year or so being blue and crying and isolating myself, not stimulating dd1 very much and was terrified of how I had ruined her first years and scarred her for life. Guess what....she's happy, confident, sociable, bright, very loving, a very good sleeper and eater and has never once reminisced and held my early days' insanity against me! She could have equally turned out a bad eater and sleeper and a grumpy little sod, but if she had it would not have been related to my parenting skills in those early days. I'm not meaning this as a 'me' story, but I want you to know that whatever you do, whether it's seen as right or wrong, or success or failure in your eyes or anyone else's, you are AMAZING and your little one will love you

oooh and i'm going to be a model today! my friend is a photographer and has been asked to do pictures for a jewellery making company who have designed a range for new mums (no idea what !!!) so she has asked me and P to be her models!!!i'm sure i will wow her with my flat rain drenched wind-swept hair, ill fitting clothes, teenage complexion (where are these spots coming from?) and P with her sticky eye!

Ladies, you are such a tonic. Was in a grump this morning - hangover from last night. Not a literal hangover but just feeling a bit nettled that DP is a bit light on the thanks sometimes for all the things I do for him. His view is that I shouldn't bother with some of the things if they are going to make me annoyed. My view is that I actually want to do them and our lives run more smoothly as a result, but I just want a bit of bloomin' appreciation, or vocalised appreciation. Anyway...DD has got her jabs this morn. Five cab firms can't take us but have found a bus so I will risk that.

Ros - fancy your DS2 growling Thanks for the opera link! Lovely. Now I just have to find the time to watch 'em. You've got about the same amount of weight to lose as me. Cheer you on if you like. And you, Kayz. And Kayz, if your MiL gives you a hard time, frankly I think it is cruel. You have bust a gut to carry on feeding and you deserve a medal, not snippy remarks. Tell her to go and boil her head if she starts. Or something more tactful, but do be firm. And get your DH to have a word with her if necessary.

KMP - your dog sounds adorable. Blonde, chocolate or black?

Turnip - bless you, my one wrist is so sore (it's my thumb tendon) and in fact, none of my fingers feel too clever. Also, I now think it's creeping into my toes. It's a right pest. Remembered the name of the kid in P of Five I liked. Griffin! Annoying voice though.

Cat - why not try different things in blocks of a week? If he reacts badly to something midway through, of course stop. But I don't think you should stop going out - I think this is guaranteed to make you feel awfully bleak. Surely going out can't be that bad for him?

Daisy, you've got the jabs this morning too - I am nervous as to what to expect afterwards! Sounds like your DH has got a touch of what my DP has got

Chutney/Syb - Hooray, I've missed you. Can we get used to a name change at this late stage? I have got you in my phone as "Your Real First Name then Mary". How are you, darling?

Lal - good to see you back too. Liberty's? Enjoy. As you know, I too am eagerly awaiting RR at the pictures. On the other hand, as it's so sour about relationships and family life, I think it's going to depress the hell out of DP - he doesn't know the book - in fact he's not much of a reader generally and gets tired of my English graduate-having-to-discuss-everything-I-read ways...Was it you who's mentioned the take yer baby showings at the cinema? Anyone up for the Electric in Notting Hill? The Yummy Mummies there are probably the most demoralising in the UK, though - all caramac tans in January/perfect highlights/enviable jeans on size 8 bums. If I go, I am wearing blinkers, like a nutty racehorse.

Katie, my sister had a Jack Russell called Sid. He was lovely but full of beans. Maybe a few too many beans. So characterful though, they are a nice breed. I love dogs so much - there is a dog-shaped hole in my life, but our flat is too small really and also I worry about the impact on flexibility. My dream dog is a Weimeraner, but I also like Dalmations and Dobermans (their noses are so elegant!) However, all the dogs we had as kids were just mutts and they were lovely too.

Veggie, I am fascinated by the tales of your Roomba. Wow. I think Oli has got one too - I had never heard of such a thing until you two mentioned them.

Right, must make myself look presentable and go off in the pouring rain in search of this bus.

Ooh, and Bisou - the ballet tonight is La Bayadere - so lots of Indian scenes. But might not be able to go as the client who bought the tickets has gone into hospital and the tickets haven't yet arrived at the office...

Cross posted with you Trace - gosh, you had a really hard time. Great that you came through it. Right, must go or I'll be laaaaaaaate

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Just to let you all know I emailed beans and she's fine, just really really busy with her dd! sends her best wishes and says she'll try and pop on to say hi if she gets a moment.

Back from traumatic immunisation with DS, had to feed him in surgery waiting room. I was v impressed as I'm not that confident about bf in public. But needs must DS needed comfort...tbh people actually looked quite supportive think I've just got it in my head that people would be disapproving, although I'm not sure why

Anyway DS now a whopping 13lb 9 - not bad in 8 weeks considering hw was 8lb 8 born. And he's grown 8.5cm in length

trace have a great time modelling - sounds fab!
cat I was worried last week because DS was all over re: routine. Gave up and thought 'what will be will be' and for past 4days/nights he is actually getting his own little routine going.

For all those dieting I started last week with my 'healthy eating regime' Am sort of following WW with extra points for bf and lost 3 pound last week. Although really need to think about some exercise as well. Can't keep using c-section as an excuse to do nothing...

DS passport arrived this morning. Its ridiculous to think that he could have that photo until he is 5 yr old.

Hello Daisy,

I'm just back too. Managed to negotiate bus - didn't even know there was one to Charlbury - ok, it's one an hour in the 'busy' times, and one every two hours the rest of the time, but hey. DD was ok with the jabs. Better than me! Although I think if she hadn't had her dummy to comfort herself, it might have been worse. She might have a meltdown later. I spending 45 mins cuddled in the Baby Bjorn on our journey home helped.

Got to get back on the country buses later as the ballet is on. One hour journey into Oxford, walk across town carrying DD and the car seat then a long wait at the station as the bus times don't fit in, then when the London train stops at Reading I have got to hope that DP is on the platform and hand him the baby and the car seat to take home whilst I carry on and get the train into London. If we miss each other, I will be left holding the baby and we are going to have A Situation. It's like something from a film, and not in a good way. I have then got to get the train back tonight to Oxford and he has got to drive back in to get me (it's 15 miles away). What a hassle. This ballet had better be worth it! I am going with my assistant and my ex-assistant who is covering my maternity leave. They are both trying to muscle in on my clients and I don't particularly enjoy either of their company (and I get on with most people I think). Ho hum. Like I said - just in a grump today! Enjoy the modelling, Trace!

ladyt am having visions of train leaving platform, whilst your DD is dangled from window and your DP running alongside trying to catch DD

But seriously I hope you enjoy the ballet and that it all goes smoothly.

I am having a 'girls' night out next Friday, DH is already having panic attacks at the thought.

Ladyt I need cheering on, I have terrible willpower! The best I've ever done was when I lost 2 stone the year of my wedding & that was with weightwatchers.

What morning is Electric Cinema on? If its a nursery morning for ds then I could come. The Odeon also do baby screenings.

trace wow, you did go through the mill with dd! Very inspiring post though & you're right in that they don't remember. Though ds1 seems to have taken to saying 'mummy don't hurt me' when we're in public , don't know where that's come from, honestly!

cat hope you're feeling a bit more relaxed

Yes, Daisy, you have precisely the same concern as me re: the train 'handover'.

Ros, not sure about the Electric, will look into it. Which Odeon? Any of them?

As for cheering on...well...every Monday I am going to post my weight in kg and how much weight I have lost (if any!) The shamefact of posting it will encourage me. Sorry, as I know it will bore you all to tears! Anyone who wants to join me may do so, of course, but we do want weight loss every week, however miniscule!

HELLO HELLO LOVELY LOVELY LADIES!
I'm so sorry I've been so horribly remiss and rubbish, but have missed you all! Here I am! I need to read and catch up on everything. The lovely jumpjockey emailed me to find out where I was and I've just been so involved with Isabella, that I haven't been on for ages.

How is everyone? Izzy or Bella (haven't decided yet) is a little angel and I'm absolutely loving motherhood, which surprises me - thought I'd be crap! But I seem to have got some sort of routine in place and she now sleeps from 11.30 - 5am, so I'm having a relatively easy time of it. Although not to start with, of course!!!

I will add a photo as soon as I can! How are you all? I read zoejeanne's stats - amazing! How cool is that? Izzy was a weener compared to the others - 11lbs! Bloody hell! Izz was only 6lb 13, so a tiny wee.

I've got to go and read all news. Re weight loss - struggling - I've lost 2 stone, which is great - but got another 2 to go, which is proving impossible! Unfortunately not being at work, I'm picking all the time! But hey, shit happens and it'll happen one day - I hope! I'm off for a run this weekend - doctor's orders!

Guys, I am so sorry I've been so crap and it's lovely to be back! Will have a good old read when I've fed the beast and see how everyone is! I've missed you all!

xxxx

feeling a bit like I lack motivation today.... Seems like such an effort to get out of the house... Anyone else have that? LadyT you sound so busy like you get so much done... my dog is Chocolate by the way. I feel like she's getting neglected as I can't russle up the motivation to take her to the common, and i can't walk her around the neighbourhood as she runs at other dogs to play with them and i would get pulled over with ds strapped to me... I also have a headache as we ran out of coffee and i'm on the decaf and having withdrawl...
Quick question - do boobs actually empty? someone said no but sometimes i think ds is just using my nipple as a pacifier but not actually getting milk towards the end of a feed but he still gets irritable if i pull him off even if it's been ages!

PS thought I had my pelvic floors sorted, but clearly not - just went for apee, thought I'd finished and stood up after wiping and did a bit on the floor. Bugger!

xx

Ah, but KMP, I feel like I am chasing my tail all the time - racing around and getting naff all done. If my driving lessons fall through at the weekend, which is possible, I have to be in London anyway because of party on Saturday (Arti, are you coming or what?!) and then a lunch party on the Sun. So, want a quick coffee and a dog walk on Sunday morning? I can hold your dog as I will be footloose and fancy free. As for no caffeine in the house - that is very bad. Caffeine holds my bones together. (Actually that is probably not true - in fact, I think it might even cause loss of bone density in the long term!)

Right have to go off and get ready (again).

Hello Beans!

(Right, really am going now)

Hello everyone,

Thanks for the dog advice kmp. A lab is my dream dog, when we have enough house room . We had springer spaniels when I was young and they were lovely but each one got very badtempered and snappy in old age which puts me off them a bit.

Cat I understand completely what you mean about conflicting advice. I think the trouble is all babies are different and don't all enjoy the same things. I'd echo what others have said about doing what makes you happiest.

daisy I hope you are leaving the ironing for your DH!

trace Well done you for going through such a tough time and coming out the other side. Hope you enjoy the modelling.

mibbes I hope things have improved breastfeeding wise since you last posted.

ladyT Good luck with the handover! You'll probably loose a few pounds carrying the car seat across town - they weighs a ton.

I left DD's nappy off earlier to let the air get to her bottom for a bit and in the five minutes it was off she wee'ed, poo'ed and then was sick. Delightful!