June 08 - New Year same old sleepless nights

[hedgehog1979]

Bit bored so thought I would start the new thread

Thanks for more great advice on the aczema front. i have gone out and bought the Elizabeth Arden creme - wow a baby using more expensive mosturiser than his mum! Will give that a go as I remember my mum telling me that they used to use it on burns victims when it was first invented so it must be good. Already have Oilatum junior and aqueous creme. What a faff eh?

Am exhausted as the baby has been up from 4-4.30 onwards for the last 5 nights in a row. Don't know how I will cope if he continues with this when I go to work.

Can I ask about people's DPs/DHs...My boyfriend refuses to take Luke any further than the corner shop on his own. I haven't really got him to admit that he is frightened to take his own baby out but I know he is. This morning he had a meeting in the building behind the baby's nursery but refused point blank to take him in and instead made me get up (after having been awake since 4.10) and go to Canary Wharf and back - 1.5 hour round trip - when he could have taken him an hour later. WTF!! I wanted to kill him for being so pathetic. Anyone else have this and how did you train your other halves to stop being so silly?

Aberdeen - with you on the exhaustion but for different reasons. Luke is on 3 hourly feeds but he is FF. He doesn't eat enough solid food to drop a feed or space them out more but he doesn't have a night feed other than the 11pm and then again at 6ish.

I wonder why the babies are sleeping badly at the mo. Apparently it coincides with milestones. I think Luke's is eczema related as he's always scratching his face when I go in. He is always practicing his backwards crawling first thing in the morning though.

Ali - We have the advantage of a very big bed here , when we came back to the UK for the tv show we had a normal double bed, one night Nigel fell out, as I was feeding Ethan in bed with us!

5 - You've made me feel so warm inside, wanting to fly over and kiss my feet - I assure you, you wouldn't!! I'm so pleased that dd's turned the corner for you, especially as we're in the same business and I know how important it is that she sleeps.
Re Birthdays - Nigel always complains every year that he has to think about birthday and christmas presents for me at the same time.Hope DD and DH have lovely Birthdays.

Aberdeen - I didn't consciously do anything with Ethan to reduce his breastfeeds, he's been on solids for about 6 weeks now, and over the last week he has just been taking less milk. Routine now is roughly
6.30 bfeed
8.30 breakfast - porridge etc
9.30/10.00 bfeed
12.00 lunch
2.00 bfeed
sometimes a quick bfeed at 4ish
5.00 Tea
7.00bfeed and bed
then in the night sometimes 11, 2, 6, and on a good night we miss out the 11 feed.

The main feed he dropped was at lunchtime, a couple of weeks ago he was still having a bfeed at 12 then lunch at 1.00. One day I tried it the other way round and then gradually dropped that feed.

Amber - has your boyfriend been with you to drop off Luke at Nursery? Maybe you need to show him the ropes the 1st time, sounds like he feels out of his depth.But you need to get him trained up soon!!
sorry to hear you're feeling so tired too atm, but hope the wonder cream works for Luke.

Aberdeen like Deb we're not consciously spacing feeds here, but Iestyn is taking less, and is taking lots of solids. Does Fraser take a bottle?
Can you use a nursery for a day or so? I'm kind of using the nursery as a troubleshooting temple, but they are very good (or a relative, or a CM), and if he's not with you he can't demand the milk from you.
Mind you, I find the expressing is a bit of a drain (no pun intended) too - I'm still permanently starving and run down.

On the subject of bfing... My frenemy is unable to bfeed at the moment.
I don't feel smug or vindicated, though, just very sad for her - mainly because she has no girlfriends really (and alienated the ones she had - like me; not that I'm so wonderful, but I've very recently been where she is now with a young baby). I've surprised myself there - I thought I'd be dancing with joy.

Amber my dp was exactly the same when we had ds - you will be pleased to hear I can report a miracle cure - he suddenly started doing loads with Liam overnight .... the day I had Caitlin. Possibly not the solution you were looking for though . I have to say he is still not that confident with Caitlin, despite her being second baby; but at least this time round I am fairly confident that he will be happy to do much more with her once she's walking and talking.

Perhaps it will be the same for your dp, just a matter of time. Babies are scary if you don't have much experience with them, and however supportive and involved the dad is, if you add it up most mums have so many more hours just being with the baby in those first few months, so it's not surprising that (some) men can end up being nervous of being in charge on their own till their sum total of hours of practice builds up a bit. Not that I'm condoning it! and I wish things had been a bit different here too, but can't really complain; dp is fab with ds now, but it did take a while.

Aberdeen same as Deb really, C has just started feeding less often naturally, as she has been eating more, we haven't deliberately done anything to encourage her to drop feeds. But it varies a lot from day to day. I'm with you on the exhaustion front though - but for me don't think it's the breastfeeding, fairly sure it's the disturbed sleep, and just the full-on-ness of life with two little ones.

Must do washing up then bed, night all

Deb LOL at poor Nigel falling out of bed. At least it wasn't Ethan that took the plunge.

Aberdeen and Amber - sorry you are feeling so tired. Amber if you can help sort Luke's eczema out it might help. I'm not counting my chickens yet, but not having itchy cheeks seems to have coincided with longer sleeps.
Aberdeen- P is demand fed and is just demanding less than he was, so I haven't consciously dropped feeds.

Amber re: DPs. That does sound annoying and pathetic. Tricky how to deal with it, not knowing Mark myself. You could book yourself a day away and just let him get on with it. James did a great job on Sunday. I naturally tend to criticize James's parenting and try to resist this: could you be doing this too. It might be intimidating him. What about getting mark to start something like baby swimming with Luke on a Saturday. It could be "their" thing

Agh DH has 'been working from home' the last two days which means he monopolised the laptop, complained because Isaac and I were too noisy in the living room, and when we went and snuggled in bed came down because he was being too noisy to find him playing super mario on the Wiii AGHHHHHHH

He is now at football, so should be home soon.

Cannot remember all that I have read, but Amber am very that mark doesn't do more with Luke. Tony has been great about taking Isaac out and about - Pub, Into London to visit friends and even too football - on the downside it means I always need to express to ensure he has a bottle available in the fridge.

ps, just started this thread if anyone can help

Ali no disrespect but isn't swimming fraught with dangers?

Thanks everyone! I tried limiting F's feeds yesterday and it went pretty well, just 4,11,3pm,7pm,10, but then when he woke at midnight and fed we were really worried - but he slept from 12-6! I think we might be on to something! (Obviously was feeding him solids and water throughout the day!). He wont take a bottle and I'm not keen on using the breast pump ever again so I'm hoping we can manage to get into a new routine now. Of course today is totally different than yesterday - fed at midnight and 7 instead of 4 and 11 ...

Amber, I think the best way to get the DH/DPs comfortable with their LOs is to force them My DH was always nervous - and is still nervous about being left with both boys! He always tries to say he'll take one of them and I'll take the other... But we manage and they are capable adults...

Thanks for advice on DH/DPs! Mark will HAVE to take Luke in on days where I need to be in early. I have already taken him to the nursery with me to show him the ropes. I have asked him to go swimming with me as well but he refuses to go. It's not just the nursery it's anywhere. He's only just got over taking him in the car on his own. I think he worries that Luke will cry/poo and he won't know what to do. When we are together and Luke cries he seems to panic that people are looking. Hmmmm.

Just seen GMTV and a little girl had eczema and had food intolerence test. The eczema went in 2 days when the intolerent foods were taken away. Thing is Luke got his when he was just on formula - hope he's not intolerent to dairy as not being a BFer there's not much I can do about that.

Hope everyone got better nights last night. We did. Luke slept till 5.45. Waswoken up at 11.30 last night though after just getting off to sleep when our boiler blew up - scared the living daylights out of me and now we have no hot water.

morning all

amber about your lack of hot water. That must be a PIA. No other advice on Mark really. But have you tried to talking to him about it?

AH hope things are going ok for you so far today.

Have had a major blowout at DH this morning about when I go back to work as he moaned about the dishwasher not being loaded last night and then complained that I asked him to get Isaac changed and dressed. I don't think that he realises that I will not be able to do all this once I am back at work full time.

And to top it all off I am really struggling with my sleep at the moment because I am so worried about going back to work. They are being real pains about a lot of things that went on in the past and can't seem to get past the fact that I am not as depressed anymore and that I don't know how work is going to affect me.

Whoops I have been really ranty here again, Sorry

Hi HH - new name? A HH is what...?!

I have tried to talk to Mark but he's not good at all that talking stuff!

Hope you get work sorted as my starting back at work on 2 Feb twin. I also am not sleeping well as I can't stop thinking/dreaming about work but I'm sure it won't be as bad as I am making it out to be. I am lucky as my work have been fairly supportive (other than my 'trial' period) but imagine it must be a nightmare if you have to worry about starting again/kids etc as well as PIA work people.

PS Had a really odd saucy dream about Chandler from Friends last night. I don't even think he's attractive!

was bored with having a number in my name.

Part of the problem with my work is I am now on my 7th area manager in 3.5 years and they are not really very supportive of people who have mental illnesses

Quick skim - sorry to all with unsupportive partners .

Amber, you can get formula for lactose intolerant babies on prescription - you need to speak to your GP.

Big news here, I'm going back to work .

After having made the definite decision that IVF was going to take priority this year, things are looking v uncertain for dh's job so can't take the risk of giving up my safe (but hellish) local authority job.

I'm gutted and can't stop crying about it, so have some understanding of how you guys are feeling right now.

HH, and anyone else using a childminder, I also need to pick your brains about how you chose your CM.

Hi to everyone else.

HH, sorry to x-post - do you have a sympathetic colleague who could be your advocate so you're not having to cope with all this one your own? There's so little understanding (and sympathy ) for depression and employers are notoriously funny about it. Hopefully they'll back off once you're back.

Sponge - have no idea if Luke is actually intolerent to anything! Guess I would have to do a test which means taking a blood sample - could I do it....?

Also looked and is £245!!!

...and not suitable for under 2s.

so sorry sponge. Any way you could negotiate something to let you do both, say a flexible 80% to fit round IVF appointments?

Amber - Sebastian had awful nappies, throwing up and tummy ache and not sleeping well, he also had excma on his head which he was scratching and bleeding. We swapped him to Infasoy made by C&G, SMA do a soya formula as well adn also Heinz and it cleared everything up very quickly.

We also are not weaning him on any dairy products and are using goats milk ind a soya spread.

Hi everyone, just lurking and marking my spot.

Quick reply to Sponge - our CM in the UK was recommended to us, I met her, in her own home when she had other children there and my gut reaction was enough. That was 8 years ago and she's out here in a few weeks with her family on holiday. It must have been a difficult decision to make but with the financial costs of IVF, must have been the only thing to do. Good luck.

BDQ - how are you?

Amber - hope boiler is fixed soon