June 08 - New Year same old sleepless nights

[hedgehog1979]

Bit bored so thought I would start the new thread

I'm also lurking and have just written a ranty post, so apologies all.

Just to let those who are also having trouble from stupid employers, I sent off another shir_ty (please feel free to remove the r from the last word) letter. Have just found out they've been telling my contacts that I decided not to come back from maternity leave rather than I was relocating to Manchester. Makes trying to find a new job even harder if everyone thinks I don't want to work in an office ever again.

Gawd - these people. They have chucked away the spade to dig a hole and are using a JCB instead.

Have told them to pulling the effing thumbs out otherwise I'm issuing proceedings in 5 days. Am so sick of this.

Amber & Aberdeen - if you can get to London (if you're not there already), go and see Mr John Harper at the Portland Hospital. It is worth the money (approx £200) - even better, see if you can get your / husband's health insurance to cover it - just to talk to him and get him to check out your child. He really helped me with my DS1 and dispelled a lot of myths. He's a real expert in children's excema.

sbbp so sorry for you, found my childminder here. emailed about 15 asked for email responses - got 1, and a phone call who never put it in writing like reqested. like deb - went on gut reaction.

amber there is no one at work - a total of 4 people in the office so am spending evenings once isaac is in bed looking for jobs like mad.

am having a shocker of a day - got as far as the bus stop and noticed the pushchair had a puncture, so home to take the car, then couldn't find the strap for the changing bag so have been into town with phone in one pocket and money in the other and isaac in the sling which has killed my back too

mellymell sounds horrid, good luck with your letters

Sponge, really sad for you but it does sound like a wise decision. Hope that you feel better about it soon.

HH (good name BTW) sorry to hear that work are being awkward. Absolutely not what you need right now.

Amber LOL at the saucy Chandler dream. I always fancied him most out of the blokes on Friends. I am sure you will feel better about work once you are in the swing of things. If Mark won't talk about things and refuses to do activities with Luke I would book yourself a day or even overnight away. My friend with the same birthdate baby did that last weekend and came to see us lot in Surrey. One of the reasons, was that she is pig sick of her DH being gormless with the baby and sulky about how having a baby has curtailed his freedom to go sailing and mountain biking. Of course her DH got his parents round for the weekend so Mum could do the donkey work, and the night she was away the baby slept brilliantly. Maybe you should go and see Essie on the train!

Essie - apart from drowning what other risks could there be?

Mellymel - your work sounds rubbish too.

Sponge, sorry about work - will you go back five days a week? It is really sad that most of us are either back at work or getting ready to go back and don't want to . What does that mean for your IVF then?

I rang HR today to talk about flexible working, I only want to do one day a week cos not going to make any money doing more after tax and childcare. She said no one has ever asked for one day before. But she said I could ask and they would probably agree to two days so that is not too bad.

Amber, hmm, Mark does sound like a tough nut to crack! It is hard if he is being very stubborn but could he have Luke for a day while you go away somewhere? Then he will find that it is not that scary after all. You could be at the end of the phone anyway.

Melly, what do you do for a living (think I have asked you that before - sorry!)

amber DS1 is dairy intolerant and he's on a prescription milk still. They make infant formula too. You could try the soya formula to see if it helps but long-term I think you're better with a prescription one as children can develop soy intolerance if they are already dairy intolerant and on a high soy diet (what we were told) (plus prescription milk is free). We never got DS1 tested, they just went with an elimination diet.

hedgehog I promise it's not as bad being back at work as it is thinking about it (wrt being away from our LOs.) I hope work itself is okay when you get back.

sponge sorry you're disappointed about going back to work! Sending hugs! It must be tough emotionally, I hope you're okay.

mellymel sorry your old work are being absolute crap

I think I'm rare in that I'm pretty happy to go back part-time. I would not be happy without a good job once the boys are in school and this is the only way to keep my hand in!

I'm good thanks deb. Just not feeling like I've got loads to say for a change .

I'm reasonably happy to go back to work but would prefer to go back 3 days rather than 4. Unfortunately that extra days pay (even with extra days nursery fees) makes a difference. I'm really looking forward to lunch breaks.

amber on Mark - sorry he's being so unhelpful. I guess he's just a bit scared or maybe comes from a family where men don't get involved with the baby-rearing. I dont want to make you cross but my DH is the exact opposite. I'm only mentioning it so you can let Mark know what other dads do! He takes S swimming on a Tue (I went the first week to make sure he was ok) and regularly takes him out and about. On Sat mornings he often takes him to Sainsbury's to do the weekly shop while I catch up on the housework. Even when we're all out together he does most of the nappy changes etc (because I have to do it all week on my own). He obviously gets lots of help from me, but I would happily go away for a weekend and leave them to it.

Sorry for everyone who has an employer that is being a bit rubbish!

Thank you for all your support and sympathy.

And for all the links, hints and tips. I really appreciate it.

Have just had an email from a friend suggesting a nanny share - anyone any experience of this?

BDQ, my dh also has a regular Sainsburys shopping trip on a Saturday with Alex!! He's going to start taking him to Active Tots this Saturday - they have a special dads' morning with bacon sarnies and the morning papers!

Amber, does Mark have any other "dad friends" that he can go out with so he doesn't have to do it on his own first time?

Aberdeen I'm also happy to be going back to work. If I remember you're in academia too? (Just looked at your profile, and it says 'scientist', which immediately made me think of a cartoon guy in a white coat type thing! BTW, your children are cute!!) If it's anything like me, up to now I've poured my whole life into my work, and you don't do my line of work unless you absolutely adore it. And I do, and it's great being back. Mind you, I have a dossy job as SOMEONE said today. (True at the mo. )
I did get quite annoyed today at the 5pm meeting I made a special trip to, which was still going at 6.30pm. I hadn't seen Iestyn all day - picked him up at 4pm - and was hoping for some playtime before bath, which I didn't get. He's none the worse though and saved up 3 poos for the hour I spent bathing and putting him to bed.

Sponge how will it work with IVF? And have you considered nursery? I'm only asking because I can be all expert on that but can't about CMs!

Amber sympathies about Mark. I sort of see where he's coming from - he's used to being in charge, knowing what he's doing, knowing what is happening. And with a small baby, things aren't like that - it's totally unpredictable. Plus, he sees you managing perfectly well and doing a great job, and maybe he doesn't want to look less brilliant than you - men can be really competitive in a weird way like that. Tim is similar - in a high level job, in charge, HATES being in a situation he can't control/argue his way out of/look up in a book. He's fine with Iestyn, but we have a different problem here in that he'll pretend to be in control when he's not (all in the image - he's a barrister, he does it in court), and I'm permanently panicking that he's going to burn/drown/abandon/break Iestyn...
Can you throw him in at the deep end? Find some 'crisis' (work, friend in need, whatever) which means you have to leave the house and then he has to deliver Luke maybe to meet you somewhere? Perhaps getting him up and dressed all by himself first? Just a thought.

Oh and I don't understand Hedgehog's new name. Is it really clever and I don't get it? Is it a pun? I never find puns amusing but you don't if you've learnt English (with its ridiculous out of control spelling and grammar) as a second language.

essie nothing as clever as that, was just bored with having a number in my name and thought that by having it like that it would be a lot easier to name change for valentines, christmas, Halloween etc

Essie, trying not to think about what a fecking nightmare it's going to be trying to manage work, an IVF cycle and an active toddler . I feel very bitter and angry about the whole thing tbh - but that's a whole other rant .

I'd prefer CM to a nursery cos I want him to be at home while he's very little. I know it's not for everyone (all my NCT group are using nurseries) but it's horses for courses I suppose!

HH, in that case your name at the moment should be ahedgehogishibernating and then you can change it in the Spring!

sbbp you are a genius

does this work?

Lol! Thank you hibernating hedgehog!

My sponge brain does still work sometimes!

hibernation

Apparently you'll be coming out about mid-March!

That's coming out of hibernation of course, not 'coming out' in the other sense of the term !!

I might do both

How are you feeling tonight?
Feel free to email if you want to chat about going back to work

A little better thanks hedgehog. Shock has started to wear off - still feel angry that other peoples' greed has got us into this situation through no fault of our own, but then we're not alone in being in that scenario .

Will email you when I have started to think about the practicalities! Thank you .

Hope things are ok with your work too and they've stopped being such arses.

Ooohhh, I love Hedgehogs! Such a lovely link! (Hm, maybe I'll also be coming out...) I saved a Hedgehog last Autumn - it was crossing a busy sliproad and I braked to let it go past. Tim was furious as the car behind nearly ran into us!
HHH (!) I also hate the number in my name, but don't know what to do about it really. I chose 3 because I have an obsession about the number 3. Also, your work uniform - are your work uniforms made in a factory only employing size 0 midgets or something? I've met you in RL and you are not size 22.

Sponge do rant...what we're here for, surely? Nursery works for me, but here it's a rather priviliged choice. See the view (from my garden) on my profile? See the telegraph poles? The nursery is to the left of there! They have an orchard. I have an open fire and slate hearths... (Not trying to justify anything here - I'm v. happy with nursery for me, and my particular one works for me. But not all nurseries are made equal. I am v. v. lucky in that I live in the middle of beautiful countryside and the nursery is well run.) In fact, here it is. My house is the L-shaped building off the road, and then move the map following the road down, and the nursery is the building further down, further down than the patch of trees, by the ?scorched bare bit of earth. (And if you move the nursery down towards the bottom of the screen, you'll see a weird round blob in a field which is an ancient burial mound, similar date to Stonehenge - similar purpose too - one of the finest archaeological sites in Europ. After Stonehenge.)

Your link didn't work but it sounds gorgeous. I intend to move A to a nursery when he's older (if I can't give up work) and there's a wonderful one just up the road from me set in it's own grounds. It's beautiful.

Well done for saving the hedgehog - it's human instinct isn't it. I did cause a car accident several years ago by breaking hard for a dog (it was on a dual carriageway and ran out in front of my car at 70mph). I was distraught but the policeman said that, even though I should have hit the dog, 99% of drivers would have done the same .

Um, I mean I was doing 70mph not the dog .

Crappy. Link didn't work.
Search for Llanddaniel.
Zoom in.
My house is to the right of the main village, before the farm in the trees.
Follow that road down, and the nursery is the building with the parking spaces by the river.

Now you can all aim your missiles at my house. Or Iestyn's nursery!

ROFL at the thought of a dog going at 70mph...

I noticed that I made a similar mistake in my own post - I seem to say that I'm going to nursery personally. Ah, all that soft play!

Totally into google earth now. I've carried on down the road to the Brynsiencyn Road, and you get to the Menai Straits! Then if you go right along the straits, there are some lovely beaches on the Anglesey side.
And if you cross the straits where it's all sandy, you can see Caernarfon castle. This is fab, like flying!
I'm now going to take a total cultural detour and find the Elephant and Castle roundabout.