Oct 2007: This little piggie ate lots of Christmas turkey.... all by themselves!

[alicet]

Thought this was appropriate given latest discussion and thought I would start a new thread before this expires!!!!

wow stefka it sounds like a great opportunity! but so hard....I second that you should be totally honest about everything, will it not be feasible that dh and ds could join you? even if they where not part of the activities. If you are pregnant by then, dependin g on how far on you are, you could still fly...or maybe hold off ttc for a few months....what does DH think?

anyway...hope everyone is well today, Shannon is ill again snotty nose, whiny etc, and i just can't be bothered to do anything, its my friends birthday night out tonight, dd1 is off to her dads and Rich has offered to look after Shannon...but i don't know if i have the energy.

Other news from me-I am going to Stop smoking this year-DD1 had written me a letter the other night saying she is scared i'm going to die, so we've made a deal that she'll stop sucking her thumb and i'll stop smoking, just need to get on to a quitting cessation(sp) group, sooner rather than later hopefully.

Lovely ladies thanks for all your supportive messages. have heard from my mum this am that they're going to try and do her op under local this pm so fingers crossed...

Marla I really feel for you about such broken nights. i know what you mean about wanting to cherish every moment too - Adam my second is most definately my last and i have felt like that with him at each of his milestones too. I also know what you mean about not wanting to leave him to cry. I had a big row with dh about this last night actually as Adam who has always been really good at settling himself has started not. He goes to sleep in your arms but then screams, and I mean really screams, his head off when you put him in his cot. This has gone from being a little boy who you could quite happily put down wide awake and he'd completley settle himself. I don't have a problem with controlled crying and I know several friends who have done it and it's transformed their babies sleep haabits. I just don't think it is something I could do though - he gets so so distressed that I couldn't bear it. We have left him to cry for 5 mins if he doesn't sound too apoplectic and we know he's just tired and it often does work. But not when he gets like this... hope you get it sorted anyway...

Stefka what a dilemma. I second the others that you should be honest with them about what you have said and see what they say. What an opportunity though!

J2O Hope you manage to muster some energy for your night out!

Muppet sure you will be fine honey - I can understand you will worry until you have had your appointment but i could be very very surprised if they didn't consider what you say and offer you a section. the offer to chat is there at anytime - in fact i am going to go mail you my number so it is there for you if you need it...

Anyway I'm off to have some chill time. Dh has gone to sleep now the boys are sleeping as he got about 2 and a half hours sleep last night as Adam woke at 5am (his turn - mine tonight) and because of our argument couldn't settle until very late even though we had sorted things out before going to sleep. Despite it being my lie in this am (although since when was 9am a bloody lie in pre babies?!) I feel crap as my sleep was very disturbed. Know I will feel worse to go to bed now though - will just have an early one tonight...

LES no idea how on earth you can drink 3 bottles of wine - that would have floored me even pre-baby never mind now!!!!

oooh sorry Alice-hope your mum gets her op today, fingers crossed xx

Alice, Hope mum is ok!!!

as for the wine thing lol I have the family drinking gene!! and I have NEVER had a hangover either!!!

Mind you i did get a bit excited when DP gave me my belated xmas pressie, singstar and disney singstar for the ps3, but the disney one is good if you are about 8 and watch HSM, Hannah Montana etc as I did not have a clue!!!!!

Oh on another note, Feb 1st is my birthday, it is a sunday so on the saturday 31st Jan I am having a birthday party at home. I know a lot of you live a long way from me BUT I would love it if some of you could make it as it would make my day even more special. And babies are more than welcome!!!!!! thats what would make it extra special you ladies and dps/dhs and the lo's being here. It won't be anything to mad lol just a few drinks a few songs and lots of fun.

Hello and Happy New Year everyone. I still drop in on the thread from time to time, and it is great to hear how everyone is getting on and so often the tricky issues with the lo's are the ones we are going through so I read your wise words! We are fine. I've had a v.sick dh and 2 out of 3 sick dc's over Christmas, so I'm definitely more tired at the end of the "holiday" than before I can sympathise with Alice on the once easy to settle baby becoming an unsettled baby, but we are now reverting to normal so I think it's a case of "this too will pass".
Muppet congratulations on the pregnancy. I have been in your shoes getting v. worried that I would be refused a c section. DC1 was vb, but 2 and 3 were c sections. You really shouldn't put yourself through the worry. The doctors didn't raise any opposition to cs's - quite the opposite in fact after my traumatic vb. It's highly unlikely that you'll have to work hard to persuade so although i know that it is easier said than done - try to put it out of your mind and assume that you and your consultant will see eye to eye Love to everyone else and glad to hear of all the great developments with the lo's.

J2O - lol at you moving the clocks 2 hours - what a brilliant idea.

LLL - big hugs to you hun. Sounds like Ben's got separation anxiety? Keep that chant going - it will pass .

Dal - good news about you and your parents getting back on track. Hope things work out for you.

Sunny - poor you with all the vomiting. Hope it all clears up soon.

Muppet - sorry you're feeling low. When does Ollie go back to school? Is it next week? Hope that gets better for you - at least you can rant to us if you need to. Well done to bum-shuffling-Henry and how lovely to get 'mama'.

Crochet - I'm impressed at your partying abilities. How do you find the energy to stay awake until 2:30??

Mine - hugs to you too - hope ds starts to settle down and let you relax a bit soon.

Alice - funny you should say that about explaining stuff to Adam. I do that with Anya and it does make a difference - they understand so much. If she's in the bath and doesn't want to get out I tell her we can read a book and she does her 'ooh yes' reaction (doesn't actually say yes but she puts her head back and grins and goes 'ahh' - which I've worked out means 'yes'). I can then get her out no problem. Sorry your nye wasn't as expected - did your mum get her op ok?

Marla - don't have much advice on sleeping unfortunately. Is that sleep document still doing the rounds? I can't remember who had it (other than sleepmenot obviously!) - don't know whether that would help. Sympathise about not having another - it's unlikely I'd be able to talk dh round after the stress of Anya's diagnosis etc.

Stefka - I think you should take the opportunity. If anything else arises to make it difficult you could cross that bridge later. Don't decide now not to go because of what might happen. You've got a long time to plan arrangements for dh and ds for instance. (But then I'm the eternal optimist!)

Well I was semi-awake at new year but only because the fireworks distrubed me . Anya slept through them. We had a nice day yesterday - went to my parents. They were gobsmacked at how much Anya ate - she had 2 helpings of lamb, potatoes and veg, plus a whole banana. Must get her weighed soon - I'm sure she's put on a lot again.

I don't make new year's resolutions as a rule - I never keep them. However, things haven't been wonderful between me and dh lately (nothing serious, don't want to go into much detail) so I have made one this year to concentrate on sorting that out.

Didn't realise we had an oct 07 mumsnet fb page ! Must join...

I used to be able to get through three bottles of wine - ah those were the days! No chance of getting through three glasses now never mind three bottles!! I want to play with your singstar!

Thanks for the advice peeps - knew you guys would help. I emailed back to find out when they would need a final answer and they don't need one straight away so that's not so bad. I would really love to go so here's hoping it all works out.

J20 - good for you for stopping smoking! I have never smoked so don't know what it is like to try and stop. You are a strong person though so I have no doubt that you will be able to do it, especially with such great motivation from your DD.

Alice I hope that your mum is ok - did she have the op? Hope you can get some rest too - being sleep deprived is the last thing you need right now.

I had a friend and her DH pop in today which was so nice. They live far away so don't get to see them often and I have no real friends in the local area so it was lovely for me to have a bit of company.

DH let me have a lie in today and he is now passed out on the sofa! Now he knows how I feel by seven at night!

I started this at 1pm when M was napping ? which didn?t last long, so hence it?s being finished now ? M?s not very well, and dozed on my lap all morning, which was a great excuse for me to watch my Christmas DVDs of NCIS!

Am feeling very virtuous ? I sorted out some of my yarn stash this afternoon, and have taken 3 big carrier bags full to the charity shop ? my taste in yarn has changed somewhat in the past 7 years!

Well, I?m on the tv tonight (on S4C) ? the concert I took part in in memory of Ray Gravell in August is being televised tonight ? I?m sure I?ll be on screen for all of 5 seconds, if that, but I?m going to watch the bit I was in anyway ? it was the finale ?

Muppetgirl ? how lovely that Henry called you Mama ? I?m still waiting ? there is a very definite ?daddy?, and Rhydian is ?didi?, but I seem to be ?aaaah, ah ah ah ?
I?m trawling through my stuff now ? will email you all the stuff I find that?s useful.
The one thing I?ve found so far that might be of use to you is this: birth trauma association ? from what you?re saying you?re going through the same things I did after R?s birth. They may be able to give you some help.
It may be worthwhile you getting some input from the consultant who?s looking after you about the tear (colo-rectal specialist?) ? they will probably be the person to help you state your case the most persuasively!

Stefka ? it sounds like an amazing opportunity ? I?m going to go through your concerns one by one:

?My concerns are that it would mean being away from DS for just under a week and what if he is still breast feeding??

I would suggest you either take a breast pump, and do the ?pump and dump? thing ? he?s old enough now to be able to have full-fat cows? milk, and so you don?t need to worry about him needing ebm. Or, you could take him with you ??

?DH and I want to start TTC - what if I am pregnant by then??
I went skiing in USA at 20 weeks when pg with Rhydian, and flew to Dubai for 10 days when pg with Mairwen: as long as you wear the support stocking things, you should be ok. You?ll also need to take it easy while you?re out there. You can fly until 32 weeks of pg.

?And also if I had some kind of job by then - it's in school time.?
You said it yourself, it?s a once in a lifetime thing ? that?s what special Leave of absence is for. I?d honestly worry about that later.

However, as muppetgirl said, I?d be honest about the issues, and see if ther?s any way that DH and DS could come with you if necessary.

J20 ? I?m proud of you saying you?re going to stop smoking ? I used the patches when I gave up (my last ciggie was 19th January 2001!), and they really helped ? that?s also when I got (back) into crochet ? I had something for my hands to focus on.

Alice ? hope your mum?s ok, and that the op has gone well.
I loathe^ controlled crying with a passion ? it didn?t work for us with Rhydian, well, it?d work for 3 weeks, then we?d be back to square 1 ? eventually, when he was 2 ½ we managed to crack it ? but not through controlled crying. I vowed that I?d not put myself or Mairwen through it again. I think at this age, that it?s a symptom of separation anxiety ? have you tried the no-cry sleep solution? (this is the toddlers one) ? I?ve found it a revelation!
I really hope you make up from your row soon.

Marla ? I?m with you on the broken nights things ? Mairwen is definitely our last (we?re going for the counselling appointment for him to have the snip next Monday - that?s how sure I am!), and there is some feeling of sadness there that I won?t go through the lovely cuddly baby phase again.

tLES ? at you not getting hangovers ? (and also !)

LLL ? I second WWAJC with her suggestion of separation anxiety ? it seems like you can blame it for most things at this age!

WWAJC ? it?s the first time I?ve partied like that since our 10th wedding anniversary party ? in 2006 ? so it?s not like I do it often! I suffered for it yesterday though ? but in comparison to tLES, I?m a complete lightweight ? I drank perhaps 1 bottle to myself, and was absolutely useless afterwards!
Sounds like Anya is really thriving!

Right, off to see if I can spot myself on the telly!

ohhh when are you on? Are you singing?

Thanks for your thoughts there -you make a lot of sense! I was worrying about a lot of things that I didn't need to be (very typical of me!). Now I am thinking I don't give a monkey about the work issue, good point about the bf - I just wouldn't want him to have to stop if he didn't want to if you know what I mean but it doesn't need to mean the end if we are not at that stage yet, and as for TTC - well I will just play that by ear for now. I really need to give up worrying so much this year!! I can wait for now before giving an answer anyway - she just wanted to know if I would be interested.

I am doing my ironing - how excting.

stefka - I'm on as part of a mass choir for the finale ... I'm fifth row up, in the middle!

muppetgirl - have just found this - page 5 looks like it might be useful for you ...

right, definitely off to watch s4c

What i s4c??

Hello katsch good to hear from you!

Crochet I read no cry sleep solution with Sam but haven't looked at it since. Maybe I should - good idea hon thanks! We have made up from our row but not sure what we're going to do about Adam. I am 'on' tonight though so i can do as I want and worry about it tomorrow!

Mum had her op today and is doing OK - hopefully she'll be out after the weekend which will give her a few quality days with Soph and jack before they have to head back to NZ

Anyway off to bed now - totally shattered... see you all tomorrow xxx

I saw me! Only for about 5 seconds, but hey!

S4C is the Welsh language version of channel 4 - if you're on Virgin media, it's channel 167 - pobol y cwm is a brilliant soap opera, and you can put the subtitles on ...

hiya katsh - lovely to hear from you!

alice I lent copy of the no-cry sleep solution to somebody and I can't remember who - just need to ask for back now!

right - off to bed myself very soon!

love to all E x

Ahhh no virgin media here I am afraid so that will be why I had no idea what you were on about.

I've been reading up about home education! Yes I am insane to be thinking about that already. It sounds really good actually but I am not confident I would be up to the challenge as it also sounds like hard graft.

I need to get my bed as well as the monkey will have me up in the night no doubt.

morning all

Alice-glad your mum is doing well

stefka-does that mean you're going??

ooooh i've got a hangover...don't know how much i drank and i didn't get to sleep till about 6am, Rich has gone into work so i'm suffering on the couch while Shannon plays her recorder and wrecks my house

thats about all i can manage for now

Wow j20 sounds like quite a night! I miss nights like those.

I don't know yet about going - I don't need to decide yet. I would like to go so here's hoping it will all work out that way.

J2O - good luck with you stopping smoking. Hope you do really well. (6am!!! )

Crochet - missed your tv appearance. Well done you though!

On the subject of sleep - does the no-cry-sleep-solution (or any other) work for lo's waking in the night and crying for their dummy (even if it happens to be within half an inch of their hand)?

I'm really tired today - don't know why. I can only think it's the cumulative effect of eating chocolate all day every day. But I still have half a box of maltesers to go...

DH bought Anya a packet of animal shaped balloons today - she thinks they're great. So great in fact that they have to be chewed, with the inevitable consequence. Poor girl looks so shocked when they burst and just a tiny bit upset .

Happy New Year All!
Sorry I have been awol but after a rather heavy nye (food fab...too much booze)my bf and her dh from the USA and another mutual friend (from London)came to stay..I've not seen any of them since their wedding in Albany NY 3.5 yrs ago and we have been doing a lot of catching up...Alex adored them on sight...so to wave them off this morning.

Alice..sorry that the blooming car ruined your plans over nye...but glad your Mum is recovering..I hope she is well enough to enjoy the last few days of your sis's stay.

Sunny and Katch; sorry to hear that the dcs have been so poorly...hope they are all better soon

Muppet; Wonderful that Henry is doing all his development in a few short weeksWalking next week then? I hope you are feeling more emotionally/hormonally in control (perhaps it is a girl?ooh!!! shopping in the pink aisles!)As to missing your excersise...have you tried yoga/pilates? You can do that throughout pg to keep toned and for the endorphin rush that vigorous excersise gives you try singing...or simply laughing...honestly, they give you the same natural high that running does....so having a go at singstar or watching a comedy show might help you avoid the ads....it must be worth a try?

Marla (and Alice); sympathy on the lack of sleep...when Alex was 5 months a severely modified version of the sleep document worked to a limited extent for a couple of months, I wouldnt do it again. Marla; I dont do co-sleeping, he has always been in his own amby nature nest or cot..in our room until 13 months and then moved into his own room (at Dhs insistance)but with a single bed in there for me when necessary (ie a lot...usually 2-3 times a night, often more). I have found that he tends to be better if, as Muppet suggested,he has fed well before bed. He has his dinner at 4pm but sleeps best if we manage to eat before his bedtime and he joins us for some of that too (as well as his bf as he goes to sleep and a top up dream feed when we go to bed of course).Personally I eventually found that simply accepting that Alex was going to take a long time to sleep through, and to just roll with the punches rather than fighting to get him to sleep helped with at least 50% of my exhaustion..I just repeat the mantra "it is a phase" and try to enjoy this last bit of "babyness" that he displays... and honestly, yes, I do sometimes just love those moments (not always I will admit) a lot of the time I just try to imprint the closeness into my memory because much as I yearn to, I really won't be doing this again (for the newbies; I have a genetic translocation that causes me to lose 50% of my embryos and gives me a 1 in 3 chance of having a child with Downs which is not a problem for me but a huge problem for dh and by my 6th mc I realised that I couldnt terminate if there was a problem which was a huge worry to him...add to that antiphospholipid syndrome (sticky blood that caused my 6th m/c and required daily heparin injections to keep the placenta working for Alex) and the minor matters of gestational diabetes from 28wks and dangerously high blood pressure from 35 wks...oh and did I mention advanced age? that I was 43 when I finally had Alex and will be 45 in March?....if anyone can come up with a convincing argument for a second child that outweights all those negatives please let me know)..I will confess I dream of secretly getting the coil removed and having an "accident"...if everything went well it would at least get all the sleeplessness over in one block ( would never do that to dh without his consent... but I stopped him getting the snip in the hope that I could talk him round )..I was such a bad sleeper that Mum delayed having another child for 6 yrs, my brother slept through from week 1! If she had had him first she would have had another immediately! I totally understand how you feel about wanting to hold back time, as I sometimes weep for the way Alex is rushing headlong into growing up as much as I rejoice in his brightness and his joy in his achievements though I suspect that this is what motherhood is about life long

Wow that was an epic and I havent said everything I wanted to say to others yet but must go before dh comes home and gives me grief for sitting on the computer all the time he has been at B&Q ...I'll be back for more tonight or tomorrow

Just a thought muppetgirl - do you want to borrow my antenatal yoga dvd?

I can recommend a brilliant comedian, I have watched his dvd twice now and have been in fits of laughter both times. His name is Michael McIntyre, never heard of him before I watched the dvd and he is hilarious. Highly recommended

How annoying - dh got a phone call from the hospital today to say not to bother going in because they didn't have any beds - they are full with A&E patients. I am trying not to think that they are all irresponsible NYE revellers who have injured themselves while under the influence . We had the week sorted out too re baby sitting etc. So we're waiting for a phone call this week (hopefully!) to say he can be admitted - no idea how much notice we'll get. Grrr.

We took the decorations down yesterday and Anya's really confused - she keeps pointing and screeching at the spot where we had hung a father christmas on a spring that bounced up and down. She's also learnt to open the drawers in the coffee table so we've had the entire contents of those on the floor 19 times today.

Sorry, sounds like I'm having a moaning post. Not really. We're going to pig out on pizza tonight as I hadn't planned to cook anything with dh supposed to be in hospital. So that and a bottle of wine will be very nice.

Hello to all (a quiet day on the thread today!)

WWAJC sorry to hear your dh got cancelled. Just what you don't need!!!! We have loads of beds up here (I'm on call today but clearly not busy as here ) and some very good laparoscopic surgeons! Fingers crossed they find a bed for him soon...

Hello everyone else - I read your news earlier before getting bleeped to A&E so sorry haven't had a chance to reply... Off to find a quote for my car insurance (it expires tomorrow - can you spot the theme with my disorganisation?!)

When I get home later dh and I are going to have a bit of a chat about Adam and how we deal with his unsettledness. I've been reading a bit today between working and I am very concerned about doing controlled crying - for so many reasons it leaves me deeply uncomfortable. However last night dh did a bit of this (after being in cuddling him for nearly an hour first) and he did settle. And this lunchtime and this evening he settled really quickly. So maybe whatever was troubling him has righted itself... I think we need to have a consensus on how we're going to manage it though as clearly dh doing cc on night and then me not the next night is just going to confuse him and distress him even more.

I'll keep you posted...