September 08 - Just ladies with babies

[pacita]

I thought I'd start a new thread before we run out of space...

becaroo at your 8 hour stretch. I don't think I have any chance of anything similar any time soon, as T still takes a full feed at 10:30pm, 4am and at 7:30am - not showing any signs of losing interest in any of them! I'll settle for settling quickly after all of them though.

Hopefully for you and your lack of sleep. Until the end of last week C was doing the same (but at least will self settle very quickly). Then all of a sudden for the last 4 night (hope I havent jinxed it now) he has slept right through, 11pm - 7am, 8 this morning!!

Not saying this to make you feel worse, honest. Just that I was feeling like you and did nothing different on the nights he slept through, he just seemed to do it all on his own, must have been ready I guess. Hang in there it may happen for you.

Thanks MelT76. I will try to remain optimistic that eventually we will get a proper night's sleep! One thing i am so pleased we persevered with is settling T in the cot - he doesn't quite self settle, but when he's sleepy and relaxed i can put him in the cot and pat him for a few mins and he nods off.

Becaroo, the great thing about slings is if it rains, you both fit under the umbrella and you have hands free to carry it!

SL i just do what needs to be done for everyone's (me and the dds') comfort. everything else can wait.

dd2 gets fed in bed or shortly after we all get up. then she all fits in around the making and eating of breakfast by sleeping in a sling. so i prepare and eat unstressed and uninterrupted.

after breakfast she may wake and feed again and we all get ready to take dd1 to nursery if its a nursery day...

that is today.

off to lunch now with a mate.

I know my husband was being an arse but

1. i don't have the energy to say anything

2. if i say it wrong he'll be even more of an arse

I've just had an extra 2.5 hours sleep - thanks Maebh!! and feel dopy but a lot better. Those drugs are kicking in (although TMI alert I'm spitting up some horrible green ...)

hopefully glad you got more sleep

starlight I know w=hat you mean about foxy - she is a self confessed geek thouigh and i can relate to that ! You're right though, I'm sure my husband was struggling .... to leave the pub! He did struggle with dd1 - we both did and we've changed a lot how we do things, i'll hope that's the excuse.

8 weeks old........

Lordy, how does anyone get anything done?!?!
All the routines seem to be collapsing
She's ravenous all the time

Still in my dressing gown

wah!!!

ipanemagirl I don't know...Alfredo is 11 weeks old and has for the last couple of days has dropped the one nap I thought was sacred, now I have NO idea when I'll get to do anything.

At the moment when he's up he's either grizzling or feeding or both at the same time.

thnx digitalgirl, I'm glad I'm not alone, I just feel so overwhlemed by lists of things to do it's horrendous, it's just fire fighting.
Of course I love dd to bits but all I can see is months of chaos and a weird sense of helplessness! Also because ds is 7, I'd forgotten how hard this bit is!
Sorry, feeling a bit sorry for myself, good luck with the rest of your day!
Is your ds having a growth spurt do you think?
A gf of mine said her daughter was positively foul from 8 - 10 weeks, or was it 6 to 8 weeks? (Mind = mush)
Also I so need to have my hair done.
I look in the mirror and think "you're one of those women you used to feel sorry for" ARGHHHHHH!!

!!

Can I join the need my hair done club!!

hello ninja!
Also I feel slightly hysterical having taken on a committee post at one of ds's clubs and I just can't keep up with the paperwork.
In my defence I was pretty much strongarmed into agreeing to take the position (as usual NO volunteers) and I tried to escape pleading imminent baby but chairperson said it was 'nothing, just wirte a couple of letters a year" well that was one of the biggest lies I've ever fallen for! so now feel in a tub of guilt about it..
managed a shower but still no facial slap.
dd shouting again.
her naps are SO short
I have so much to do I could just weep.
And my gp and dh said "Try to rest when she sleeps"

HA HA HA HA!!!

empathy to anyone who relates.....

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, sorry , virtual scream while mil's off to get ds from school.... just needed to get tht off my system before I go insane ... back later to catch up with all your posts and let some more steam off... off to plate dp's lunch as he's on his way, and change dd, and feed her....

Day of stress for many of us then!

Ipanemagirl and DG sorry for both of you suffering. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone! 'Try to rest when the baby rests' is possibly one of the most annoying phrases known to man. We know it's true, but it's not exactly easy to nod off when you're (a) waiting to hear every little squeak, as that will mean the end of the nap or (b) unable to forget about the small mountain of washing up and the big mountain of laundry, including the nappies which sadly won't leap from the nappy pail into the machine all by themselves.

T had another brilliant morning and lunchtime nap (1 hr this morning, 2.5 hours at lunch, only stirred once at lunch), but just wasn't tired for his afternoon one. He catnapped for about 30 mins, then decided it was feeding time again (to be fair, it was). He's now having a super quick bath before having the rest of his BF, and then fingers crossed he'll zonk out fairly quickly. I might try taking him out in the pram tomorrow afternoon - he slept well in the bjorn yesterday, so I think he just needs to be 'forced' to sleep at that time so he's not overtired (as I suspect he might be tonight).

Elli had another bad night, his bed time is just getting later and later it was half 4 last night before he would drop off into his deep sleep, he just power napped until then. he had colic from around 8pm til midnight, but just wouldn't settle afterwards. in the end I got out of bed and dressed and went downstairs. only poor DH heard us and came down with us, poor chap I only got up so we wouldn't disrtub him, but he said he wanted to be with us make sure we're ok.
but did the most sinful thing, and slept on the sofa, but i didn't want to wake him when he was finally asleep. my ma went a bit mad and made me promise not to do it again.
but bless her she took him for a walk while i tried to catch up on some sleep.
but poor Dh is home now and looks jiggered

ipanemagirl - stressful here alone with MIL ( another 2 wks of this), who can be just horrible to my energetic 4yo (he wants to play with her and if he insist its "stop being naughty" he just wanted to play with you?!? or shouting at him as soon as he goes near baby she's his sister), and she's over dd like a hawk as soon as I turn my head - s/times I think she might even want to bf her... she's MY dd, not my fault she didn't have one of her own! Feeling not comfortable at all leaving DCs with her on sat night as we have to go out... don;t get me wrong, she's not a bad person, bu we have very different ways of doing pretty much everything (and sometimes her ways don't include common sense) at least finally having my hair done on sat

ninja sounds like serious well-rehearsed words need to be had with the P to make him a DP again!

hopefully I am still committed to structuring my dc's days (I think I prefer 'structure' to 'routine' coz we're not that rigid, its just that there's a predictable pattern we follow every day), no matter how young they are, and teaching them the art of self-settling. Remember this isn't something they know how to do, you guide and train them towards it. (and for the benefit of those who think that training them is a nice way of saying leaving them to scream, it absolutely isn't, not in our house anyway! There's a big difference between the wimperings of a baby falling asleep and the crying of a baby in distress). I don't want to teach ds to fall asleep by being rocked/fed now, and have to decide at some point in the future to teach him to settle himself. Much easier to teach him from the start IMHOFWIW.

In other news today, we had a great night's sleep (one very quick feed at 4ish) and a fab day, where ds actually had some awake time.
I've got friend visiting at the moment, and my chum (with whom you're all becoming well aquainted) babysat dd so friend and I could go to starbucks. Legend! And tonight dh uttered the immortal words 'curry or chinese?'
So things are looking good here

phew! DS is sleeping at last! today he only slept for 45 minutes and my friend called during that nap so I didn't even get a chance to catch up on any lost sleep from last night. Then when he woke, thought i'd attempt to make it to the last hour of mother and baby group because I know he likes it. Except it took me 20 minutes to stuff him into the Wilkinet and get out the door and then I managed to cripple myself with a blister on my new trainers. Got there with only 20 minutes left. Unravelled DS, rattled some toys in front of his face, watched him gurgle and coo at the other babies (didn't bother striking up a conversation with anyone else). Then when I went to scrape my blistered foot back into my new blood-soaked shoe I realised I'd stepped in dog poo .

I don't know if maybe I'm not making enough effort to try and get him to nap during the day...I know he's overtired, he used to fall asleep a lot more before. Now he just grizzles and cries and I end up pacing the house, going up and down the stairs. He eventually lunges for my boob so I feed him, but he stops within 5 minutes and falls asleep on my lap, only to wake up 5 minutes later and start the whole thing again. Maybe I need to do the darkened room thing. Maybe I just need to force myself out the house regardless of weather or lack of energy and walk him to sleep.

Another one here who needs to go to the hairdressers - the grey is starting to reappear

barnpot yr dh sounds adorable!
digitalgirl:empathy empathy empathy
carrieon - words of wisdom - you are right imo!
SunflowerNeedsSunshine I don't know how ur not strangl.ing her!

hair empathy 2 u ILikeToMoveItMoveIt

1 handed typing dd asleep on 1 arm..........................

digitalgirl you know what I'm going to say...but if you're not happy pacing up and down the house and not knowing when/how long your ds is going to sleep now that he's not a sleepy newborn who'll sleep anywhere anytime, you might find structure/routine/call it what you will, is quite useful. For me the main benefit is that I've got an idea of how often babies need to eat/sleep and I can adapt it to my children and situation. I would honestly have had no idea otherwise (but then I'm not really the earth mother type!). Obviously every baby is different, but at least having an idea of the amount of sleep you're aiming for in a day gives you somewhere to start and for me helps me to get ds to sleep before he's overtired. Sorry if that sounds patronising, really not meant to be! Just saying what came to mind when I read your post. Have a nice evening

Awww, you're very kind ipanemagirl!

And ditto the sentiments to sunflower and ILTMIMI.

carrieon you are so much better at articulating it than me, but that's exactly what I think too! Despite my setbacks, being 'structured' is paying absolute dividends during the day (never fails with morning nap, only occasionally difficult with lunch and afternoon naps) - and to be fair he only wakes once from 11:30 to 7:30am, and last night he did settle quickly after his one feed.

Poor little T is completely overtired tonight following his non-nap this afternoon. he's not screaming, just not sleeping either - constant quiet grizzling that turns into crying if we put him in the cot. He's currently in the Bjorn with DP wandering round the house with him, after I failed to settle him after an hour.
About 10 days ago we had a good 4 or 5 nights of him going down in the evening, but the last 4 nights (I think) he hasn't gone down at all, or has only gone to sleep in the bjorn or the cot after at least 2 hours of settling. It's so depressing. I'm hoping that a couple of days of getting a full night's sleep (that is, settling quickly after the 4am feed) and having decent naps will get him back on track. It's so frustrating, as he's so good during the day!

starlight lol at your DP. I have been doing a lot of that lately. I never thought my mother would be one of the 'well, you can give him solids when he's 12 weeks, that will solve all your problems' people, but she says it every single time I talk to her at the moment. I have taken to lying about how good T is so she doesn't keep saying it!

Debs75 Not sure if your query re sling has been answered but I have a wilkienet (as recommended by lollipopmother) and can highly recommend it! I am on the chubby side and DP has alot of him to cuddle!! You can order it online with extra length to fit the larger size. It's great as it is a sling but has a bit more structure and so DP is happy to wear it without feeling like a tofu eater