June 2008: weaning with every flavour baby rice . . . . and loving it!

[spongebrainbigpants]

new home!

neenz ouch - the talons have come out on your thread! don't rile up the martyr mother! Sometimes it feels like a competition to see who puts us with the most for their kids!

thanks for the comments on my pictures folks!

I have got the house to myself (smile)- well apart from Ethan.Nigel has taken the boys skiing as our area opened today, Stefan appeared at 7.00am ready to go!Funny how he can get ready so quickly to ski but not to go to school. It feels strange not skiing now that I am physically able to but no babysitter for Ethan. Nigel is wondering how much it would cost for an au pair for the season - to help us out on changeover days an look after Ethan so we can ski!Anyone had any experience of an au pair? - sounds a bit weird that last question

Have to tell you this - Tristan(6) referred to Mumsnet yesterday as "that computer thing where you can find friends"

Hi Hedgehog - unfortunately inability to recruit additional staff is a valid reason to refuse a request for flexible working.

Have a look at this for info. If you're appealing against the decision, try and build a business case about why it would be better for you to work p-t (sorry, I might have said that already). Also, maybe be prepared to compromise - i.e. if you want to work 3 days a week, compromise on 4 etc? Or ask them for a trial period of say 3 months, which gives you time to prove that it can work without having a detrimental impact on business. I always think its easier to find a job when you're in one, so even if you return to work on a compromise, you can still be looking for something new.

Re: your employment thread - I do dabble around that topic occasionally on account of working in HR, so watch out for any advice for flowerybeanbag as she is very wise .

Off to get ready for boozy afternoon.

Oh no, that is bad news HH. I wouldn't have thought that was right!

Aberdeen, haven't seen my thread yet but I thought me saying I put my DH before my kids would get a reaction. It is all a bit dull really. Will go see now...

Neenz I think the DH thing is important. After all, long after your DT's are off making their own way in the world, it'll be you and DH sitting down together having cocoa watching the world go by. If you sacrifice your relationship for your kids you could have a lonely old age methinks...

Neenz, can I ask a question without making any judgement and certainly not wanting to start a ruck on here?!

Did you make the comment about putting your dh first to cause an argument or do you mean it? Genuinely interested. While taking BDQ's point about making time for your relationship, I can genuinely say that Alex comes first every time . I love my dh to bits, don't get me wrong, but that's just the way I feel. Just intrigued really!

Btw, tell me to mind my own if you'd rather not answer!!

OOh we're getting into tricky topics of conversation now!!

Sponge I feel the same way as you. I feel that DP and I have many years to put each other/ ourseleves first and the time the children will be at home will be very short so they come first now. Thankfully we both feel the same so it works for us but I do understand that other people feel differently.

spomge I always try to put the family first, not any one of us. Duncan and Fraser don't always get what each of them wants or needs because it would be detrimental to all of us. It's easiest to understand in the balance between the boys, when one needs to nap and the other to play - I have to prioritize to make sure the family as a whole is happiest (which means no one person is suffering). That same principle applies to my response to my DSs and DH when their needs collide. (Although most of the time the boys come first because their needs are more immediate and insistent, it's just on occasion that they have to play second fiddle to DH or myself for the good of all of us). Co-sleeping falls into that category for us. DH and I can't sleep together if Fraser's in the bed, there's no room, and it's a necessity for our family that we do - otherwise one of us ends up resenting the other who slept and we stop pulling together as a team. I think it benefits Fraser most to have two parents who are happy together so that we can parent him as a team....

I'm sorry , have I opened up a can of worms here!

AH, totally take your points. Suppose it depends what you mean by "putting someone first". Don't know. Forget I asked - can see someone getting offended!

sponge no worries - and I'm sure no one will be offended. I think I've a different perspective now that I've the two boys and have to find a way to be fair to both of them. It was easier when it was just Duncan and DH I was putting first and second. I do have feelings of helplessness when both boys are crying....

Interesting question Sponge, don't retract it!

Shane and I used to say things like "I love you more than anything", now we do so less. I don't feel comfortable sayiing it because I just don't know if it's true anymoe. I don't know who I put first, they're different types of love. With Ryder it's unconditional. I choose to be with Shane, which I think is different and in some ways more special.

When we had DS1 I realized that if I could only save one of them from a burning building, I'd save DS1 in an instant, not DH. I asked DH and he agreed that he'd take DS1 over me. That felt a bit strange. It's right that we put our kids first, but I didn't feel quite as appreciated and loved for a while...

Oh, and I am finding this conversation very interesting... hope no one is offended. PP - your point about unconditional vs. choice is really good...

Just told Shane about this. He says that I could run into the burning building to save Ryder and he'd come in and save us both on a white horse and a burning sword. I queried the burning sword and was told "fight fire with fire".

ooh what a topic!!! I try to give everyone in the family a special time every day its not always possible though. I have to say that when my DH is away my Dcs have my full attention, and then any free time I have when he is home I devote to him....I think I chose to love everyone that is in my house as I chose to marry my DH and I chose each time I got pregnant....on the burning building I have to say IF possible I would get my kids and DH out and sacrafice myself

AH had a great time today, seeing you your ds's are just utterly adorable

Well after weeks and weeks of hell at nights, 2 nights running Olivia has been in bed by 8.30 with the monitor on(which is very new as we have been worried re seizures) this morning she slept till 9.30 pleasure of tube feeding THEY can sleep through lol

I cant remember if I have said but Oli is having her op on the 18th December.

What op is that Josey?

I have laughed more than I can remember tonight watching my Sky + IT Crowd from last night and Harry Hill's TV Burp. Mark thinks I have gone mad I've had tears running down my face and am laughing just remembering them!

I wonder who will go out of X factor tonight? I can't stand that Diana. I also think Eoghan is rubbish but apparently they are first and second favourites. Alexandra for me has always been the outstanding singer and she was amazing tonight. I also cannot believe how good Ruth has got!

quick post (aberdeenhiker put it nicely about family pecking order) - amberc I agree re alexandra but eoghan/jls are fave of my 16 year old dsd who I reckon represents

Diana is just shite - who the hell is voting for her?

right back to I'm a celeb.. I love brian and don't wnat him to go. and who the hell is voting for david?

WOW!!!!!!!! Did anyone just see Britney Spears on X Factor - she was ace - loved the song too. Go Britters!!!!! I am such a saddo! How old am I???????

yep I'm sad too but felt sorry for her - was badly miming and falling out of her shorts.

She has had a hard time recently...she's just been let out of a nuthouse - not too bad considering!

Morning. Just started my first conversation on MN! No ruck here so far.

Morning

Well quick catch up Sorry bout job HH hope you can sort something out.

Interesting conversations re love etc. I dont really know i think Dp and I try to find a balance but have always said that when we have kids they come first before either of us.

Hello josey, think im the same as you re burning building

The worst night ever here last night think Fleur was recreating her delivery antics!! As 1/2 year today she was born!!!
For the first time ever she came downstairs after being put to bed, her coughing just kept waking her up and it continued long into the night! On a plus though we all got a lie in til 11am, however none of us had slept though!!!

Off to work tomorrow aaaarrggghhh, feel really bad leaving Fleur in nursery when she is full of cold and coughing but i have to go back.

Put up xmas tree yesterday to cheer me up

paro ams orry for your bad night - edie up at 3am but resettled to awake at 4 whcih is bad enough. Hope tree cheers you up (two weeks til we put up ours).

amberc I am still re ruth..sadly i think eoghan will win ...

Alipalli -surprsiingly helpful I thought on that thread (and echose what I've heard that sadly not necessarily a link between weaning/sleeping but most people seem to think crawling does seem to help sleep).

Just read alipalli thread and surprised that it was so friendly! On the subject of night time wakings I wish I did know how to resolve it...

S started waking up in the middle of the night about a week ago and DH and I are starting to feel very sleep deprived!! Prior to last week he would wake up, take his dummy and settle back to sleep. Now he's waking up properly and wont go back to sleep. Tried feeding him etc, but he wont take milk so its not hunger. Any suggestions anyone? Not sure how many weeks old he is now but he'll be 5 months next weekend.

Right, I'm going off to study! Yes, LauraT if you're reading this, I am in fact getting the books out. Wish me luck!