July 2008 - Living in the Twilight Zone of never quite enough sleep to be compus mentus

[libralady]

Just thought I'd better set up another thread as the old one is just about to run out.

Smudge-

Sorry didnt mean to scare you off baby groups!
It really isnt that bad! It was just me having a hormonal moan.- Ignore me.

Yeah there are some of those annoying imaculate mummies but also many of us "normal" ones!
Mean to make them sound terrible. I was really tired after a bad night with Abigail and knew id find it hard listening about how their LO's were sleeping 12hours!

Thankfully Abigails been a star today so i feel much better in myself.. Just hope for a good night now!

How was last night pigley? Did abigail sleep better?

Louis has been waking every hour for a feed since last Thursday. I am so tired that I'm dizzy! For the last two nights I have given him a bottle of Aptimil hungry baby formula and he slept from 10-3 (30z) and then last night 10-4 (4 oz). I really didn't want to do this, I wanted to exclusively bf like I did with ds1 but I really really really need some sleep. There may be other stuff going on that has affected his sleep I guess but I am so tired I cant think straight and so until I have caught up a bit he will be having a bottle at bedtime and I can express at the same time to keep my milk supply going.

I've been keeping a diary of his feed/wake/sleep times too and have realised that he is still only going 2.5 hours between feeds in the day, and still can't sleep more than 45 mins at a time so is always tired and cranky because he's not had enough sleep. (Gilly does this sound familliar? Maybe Nate and Louis have some Baby Pact going on to drive their mums MENTAL!)

Spoke to the hv about it yesterday when I went to get him weighed, she is a lovely lady and is coming to see me at home this afternoon to talk about it properly, she said she will sit with me whilst L has a bit of a scream up at nap time to see if she can suggest anything to help him setlle imslef. I don't expect him to go t sleep on his own necessarily, he's still so little, but do want to help him soothe himself so that when he's tired and I cuddle him he doesn't scream for 2 hours like on monday!

Well to top it all off I think I have picked up a bug, was feeling v sick in the night and I'm extra extra dizzy this morning (not just tired dizzy) so will be having a restful day methinks. Once ds1 is at nursery I will be getting back into bed with Louis!

Soz for long self pitying post! Have a good day all.

hehe
i shaved all of leah's hair off...

runs away

Minkus, I was like you getting totally exhausted, I was doing a dreamfeed at 10pm which would take about an hour and he wouldn't even take that much and then he would wake at 2amish and then every 2 hours after that. What I did was to take the suggestion on here to drop the dreamfeed and see what happened, I also started to top him up with formula at the 7pm feed and he has started to sleep 7pm-2am which means I can go to bed at 9:30/10pm and get some decent sleep before he wakes up. So 6:30pm 3oz of hungry baby and as much boob as he wants, you can mixfeed at the same feed!

DS - aww that's so much hair! Deffo keep it.

PJR - women don't need baby monitors really do we, we wake up for every little snort whilst the DH sleep thru it! (My DH wakes up at most of them but I think that's becuase I make so much noise!)

Jodie - I loveee BodyPump, could do a class everyday, unfort have to do nasty cardio as well so spinning today. Very lucky have an excellent creche at the gym which only charges £2.25 an hour! Hope you enjoyed your bottle of wine and chinese

Pigley/Smudge - don't feel too at mums who dress up. I always try and put make-up on and look presentable at the mothers and babies class/or HV clinic as I feel quite insecure going and therefore it's my 'armour' so to speak, so you never know how the mums are actually feeling underneath the exterior.

Totally agree that there is a 3 month dip - I am on meds and like disney went to docs to say they were not working - was referred to psychologist as it is the 6th PND I have had although not the worst - however, don't find it all that helpful...getting out and about is more helpful but it is a struggle some days so I understand where you are coming from pigley

Abbie is almost 20 weeks now and is 13lb 10oz ...more pics on profile xxx

ok I am trying to pack and have three suit cases full and have not even packed my stuff!It is only a week...but I think maybe I have gone too far... think also I probably do need 20 muslins but should pack 10 and do some washing why there...

Hi Ladies,

Well im pleased to say that Abigail went to bed at 8, had her dreamfeed at 11 then slept through till 6am!
No early morning playtimes!

Sorry for my rants yesterday, I was just sooooo overtired!

Im actually abit envious of the "made up" mummies to be honest. Ive never been one for wearing much make up...mainly as I always seem to make myself look like a clown!
I do try to look presentable when I go to the clubs ect but always feel that everyone looks better than me. Thats been a lifelong isssue so not just since baby- whole other story!
Anyway... sleep deprivation has a lot to answer for!
Lets hope Abigail continues this nice sleepyhead routine - Please please pretty please.

Just been out to the shops trying to find a nice snowsuit for Abigail as its suddenly turned arctic out there but couldnt find anything I liked
Did buy her a cute stripy knitted hat and mittens set so at least her head and hands will be warm.

Feeling much chirpier today.. think I might even make some halloween biscuits

pigley i am another one that doesnt wear make up
but a good point made on here as make up being an armour of sorts and not to be fooled by the exterior hmmmm never saw it that way before
me im such a tomboy much to me dh disgust he claims he has never seen me in a dress which isnt true as i relented and wore one on our wedding day
i own 1 pair of nike trainers 1 pair of boots and pair low hippy sandals no ladies type shoes whatsoever no skirts blouses
i have jeans boarder trousers
my adopted mom used to say honey you look so cute in make up and pretty
how comes i dont without why do i have to make myself up to please others an make myself pretty
my rule in life is if you dont like what yall see dont look
dont get me wrong i love pretty clothes and things i just feel dumb and stupid wearing them make up woudnt know how to
maybe i need some tips from you guys itl please my dh i dont even own no jewellry not even a necklace ive always said nah i dont like them but tbh i think ive had a secret yearning to actually look like a female well of course i do i have 44g bust no mistaking it
but it always attracts to much attention so i tend to dress tatty so no one notices me as i hate attention
what rambling ive just done
does anyone actually understand this

yeah i follow you disney - i like your ramblings!

Minkus - really feel for you - big hugs - don't worry about letting it out on here. You post made me realise how easy I've got it in comparison! Really really hope you get some decent nights soon and that your hv is helpful.

We're out for a nice autumn walk with some friends now as the sun is shining - should do us good.

Another freezing cold day here. My DH is starting to hound me about taking driving lessons so that I'll leave the flat. He's a good guy.

Pigley- That is what put me off the mums groups. I found one and ended up sitting at the table with the natural faced mums!

Yep..I'm also in the no make up club. I am starting to obsess over my skin though. I've become a jeans and t-shirts mummy and so what? I'm rolling around on the carpet all day with my little guy and I don't want to get smelly gunk on him when he goes to lick my face. (we're going through a licky phase)

My DH and I are in a sort of indie choir here in town and we have opportunities to "dress up" for performances and I can get all dolled up. My mom only ever wore makeup for church or special occassions and even then it was only powder, lipstick, and mascara.

Thanks for the feedback on the chomped nipple issue. I think you are right and he was trying to stimulate let down. Funny how our breasts tend to regulate themselves

hugs to all. off to NHS class !!

Hiya everyone how are all mother and babies?

Grace played her usuall tricks y.day after a day of what seemed like back to normal but nope.
She has basically dropped 5-6ozs a day now.
It took an hour for her to just drink 4 oz last night and she refused anymore try as i might.

Saw hv today..ent concerned coz her weight is still good...she is 13lb 9oz so put on 15oz in 2 weeks so i ent gonna worry now.
She said its just Grace being Grace and appears to be no explanation for it so just carry on as normal.
Relief.

I cant be arsed to bother with my make up and crap..my hair dont get brushed for days on end...full of spots and no amount of make up will sort it so dont bother and my teeth are lucky if they get brushed by 3pm and i am basically just dressed in sick and other crap so what is the point in bothering.
Its nice to make an effort to go out but i dont have time to spend that on me..as long as Grace looks ok then i feel good.

I am hoping to go primark after xmas an treat me self to some yummy mummy clothes. She says. Prob wont happen.
I said i was gonna be a yummy mummy when i was pregnant and not be like all these other mums that make no effort..yeh little did i know. haha.

Have just returned from shops to pick a few itmes and I was an absolute walking disaster. Had a bad night last night and little Rafferty was in pain with crampy stomach last night. Poor little mite - I think I gave him too much formular and he has reacted. We had been doing so well...so to those who are sleep deprived if I could cause as much trouble as today from one bad night I feel for you who have had them for a few weeks/months.
I managed to walk in dog poo, leave my keys in the front door (thankfully they were there when I got back), leave my shoping on the bench in the chemist, steal three kinder surprises (Ok DD put them in bottom of pram but I should have looked)and drop a tub of yoghurt in the kitchen which was going to be my lunch....
Some days you should stay in bed...

I do try and keep house tidy and wear make up and nice clothes, only because in the past when I have not bothered I have found it makes me feel a bit low. I have friends who accuse me of doing everything and yes I do try but only to keep my sanity. I honestly wish I could be more relaxed but perhaps like Libra I use it as an armour...not sure?

OK off to play doctor with my daughter - I lay in bed and sleep while she wraps me in bandages. My cheating way of resting while also playing. She loves in and I get to close my eyes for 30 mins...

I wrote a message last night and forgot to post it

Sleep: night before last she woke at 2am and was awake until gone 3, "chatting" DP asked if she was reciting the alphabet. Last night much better, went down at 8pm in own cot that was her until 2am when she had a feed came in with me until 8am this morning. Up once a night is absolutely fine I can cope with that.

Yummy mummies - some days I wear make up some days I don't it all depends, I try and put on some basic foundation, eyeshadow and mascara each day, my hair is always tied back as B is at the pulling stage but I try and make sure it's clean and my roots aren't too bad. I'm a jogging bottoms and t-shirt mum indoors, usually covered in sick and other gunk. I know I am lucky getting back to a size 8 3 weeks after she was born but I am so unfit and flabby I all you doing Bodypump.

CliC - oh poor you what a day sometimes on days like that you just have to sit down and laugh. About 2 weeks ago I went out dropped the two older ones at nursery, went to another town shopping with B, came back so was gone about nearly 2 hours and our side door to our kitchen wasn't just unlocked it was wide open, how bad was that might as well had a sign saying burgle us now please outside, luckily all was well but haven't told DP yet he would go mad. It was probably the rush to get all 3 in the car I though I will get the door in a minute and forgot. Love doctors here too and hairdressers, me sitting watching telly getting my hair yanked about.

Jadey - as long as Grace is putting on weight steadily and is well in herself than I wouldn't worry. Some babies catch down this means they were born too heavy IYSWIM so they are finding there own natural weight so if they were born on the 99th centile they might drop to the 50th which is where they should be. If the 50th centile is the "norm" then theres going to be 50 perfectly healthy babies below that. I was looking at pictures of DD1 as a baby and in Novemeber 2004 (she was a July 04 babe) she is still in 0-3 months clothes that B has been out of for about 4 weeks now.

Mccheshers - freezing here too sometimes I think if it weren't for nursery I would hardly go out either. I have to force myself in this weather.

disney - you ramble ahead this is the palce to do it

pigley - you always look lovely in your pics, really fresh faced and always smiling you get those super made up mummies no matter where you go, either they get up too early to get done up (sod it I like sleep more) or their babies are left whilst they get all done up.

Definite 3 month dip her too was in tears yesterday the house is getting to me it's just never tidy, I'm alwasy shouting at the DDs and everything was just getting to me, other times I think SK get a grip you have 3 children under 5 including a baby, no family that help and a partner who doesn't get home until 6.30-7pm. Felling very isolated and alone right now

Hello to everyone else I haven't mentioned I ahte not saying a little word to everyone but my posts would be even longer than normal I do think about you all. Better go have promised the older 2 that I will draw with them whilst B is sleeping.

I think all you mums who are coping with more than one child deserve a medal! It's just Jack and I at home when dh is out all day at work and my house is still a tip! How do you manage with more than one baby about?!

sweetkitty- i totally get where you're coming from, im always moaning about the mess and moaning at dh when he gets in from work about it too!
I also feel very isolated in fact i feel more sorry for Jack! He is the only conversation i get apart from dh in the evenings! Needless to say at 19 weeks it's a little one sided! You guys are my only contact with the outside world. Every 2 weeks i get to travel the 400 miles back to visit my friends and family, but when i get there i too put up my armour as it feels like they are all waiting for me to say it's all too much! So i just smile and don't end up talking about much really!

Recently dh and i went out for dinner together on our own (one of my trips home my mum offered to babysit)It was the first time we had been out without baby. But when we got to the restaurant everyone around us was chatting and we both had nothing to say to each other!! We made the odd comment about introducing different foods to Jack, and debated about which wine to have, but that was it! It was sooo hard to have a conversation that wasn't about jack! Does this happen to everyone when they first get time apart from baby or should i worry!!!?

Mess - I have about 30 dollies on my upstairs hall apparently it's the nursery class that are playing outside today I daren't move them!

smudge - we were the exact same the first time out without DD1 all we did was talk about her whether she would be OK etc now I do make an effort to watch a bit of the news each day and try and keep a bit up to date with current affairs so DP and I have something other than teh Dds to talk about.

I would echo what everyone else has said about Toddler groups, we moved here when DD1 was 15 months and I was pregnant with DD2 I didn't know a soul. I went to about 4 groups at first it's one of these things where you actually have to force yourself to keep going. I was lucky in that a few others started the same time as me so we were all newbies together and not part of the clique although I think we formed our owm clique. I now only go to 2 a week and my first friends there have all but moved on and it's kind of back to square on but a few newbies have started. I think it's perseverance really. Does get hard when eveyone is saying "oh we off round my Mums/Grans/Aunts/friends today and you don't have that option.

Hi all
Not been on over the last few days, had a family wedding.. My god it does take alot out of one! Drink never want to see it again,...

L is doing great was off form yesterday.. Not like her at all! DP was up half the night with all 3 while i slept !! LOL didnt hear a thing. He even said i was snoring just show how tired i was..

Hope you all are well and babies...

Hiya. Just added a pic on to my profile of my lovely boy taken after his bath today.

I let him lick a banana today. He was very keen! Slobbered all over it. Bless.

Here's lots of 12 hour sleep vibes to all those not going through yet.

Hi All,

DONUT he is a wee chubby cutie
How are you settling in to expat life now? Have you had a taste of DELICIOUS backlava yet? YUMMY [ slaver emoticon]

DISNEY - I would let it grow too - he is lovely - I don't see how he has a strange shaped face - not in those pics anyway. beautiful big eyes.

SK - Amber is just starting to wnat to brush/comb/yank and pull my hair she has not got the gentle touch at all! How is your friend getting on with her house move?

RE HOUSEWORK - I used to be a total control freak about it but you just gotta reduce your standards when you have kids - let's face it housework is a neverending, thankless soul destroyingly repetative task that no one appreciates except for you! I am a tad more relaxed now but I cannot relax in a dirty house either - messy is one thing minging is another but sometimes you need a day of rest in order to recharge your batteries to get thing sdone. If you are exhausted you just flaff about feeling crappy and not doing too much and getting grumpier - 1 day of doing hee haw is enough to recharge and let you focus again. oh to be rich enough to be able to afford a maid/cleaner/ironer/night nurse

Still no sleeping thourhg here either. Up at 2am last night, then 4.45 with DD then 5.30 with Calvin. he has huge rosy cheeks just now - his teeth are really sore and he has discovered his hands and is giggling madly! So funny.

Just put a load of stuff on ebay maternity things etc quite as no more babies for us but realistically DH couldn't cope and I detest being preggers and I want to get soem life back for me, get fit again and feel well again.

RE BABY GROUPS - wer have been going to 1 on a Monday afternoon - they are all nice but not made any proper friends yet - they are mostly about my age though (30s) and some are done up- most of us just in jeans - although I do like to a put a face on if I am socialising at all. Always wear mascara as I have fair lashes and try to wear foundation if going out as fair skin and skin cancer in our family and it protects you to a certain extent.

I am rambling too must go spend some time with DH. We have resumed relations now more than we have in the last 3 years!! My DH likes me to dress up for him - especially shoes. I am participating so eagerly as I need to burn off more calories for weight loss

have a story about the continence HV I must tell you all at some point.

take care all and hope Louis behaves himself soon MINKUS.

CILC - the homepathic remedy not working then? Enjoy your hol.

GILLY - sorry to hear about your PND and sending healing vibes your way. You have had a bit to cope with though what with losing your job and moving and being pregnant so it isn't too surprising that your hormones are playing havoc with your brain. i too am on meds - Citalopram and have been for about 1.5 years now due to anxiety attacks and PTSD - am up to 30mg now and starting to feel human and well and 'normal' now.

HUBARB - are you out there? How is your DW and Skylar gettin on?

Calvin was 15lb6ozs a week apst Monday and 65cm long - he is in 6-9 months clothes and 6 -12 months shoes!!!Must put some new photos on facebook when I get a spare mo'.
Night allxxx

I'm a make-up mum, it's a standing joke in our house that if I'm ill and looking a bit ropey because of that, dh will ask if all my make up has fallen off because he's quite unused to seeing me without it. Or at least he was! I do at least try and put mascara on every day though, like you Weeble I have ginger fair eyelashes and if I didn't coat them well they would be virtually invisible! Also do my boots protect n perfect anti wrinkle eye cream and face serum every day too, I am shocked at how many wrinkles have appeared since Louis came along! Grey hairs too, bloody things they look just like white pubes growing out of my scalp!

Mama2leah- am I imagining it or did you shave leah's hair before? Maybe you just talked about it, can't remember. Does she look really different now? Louis has none anyway, just like his daddy (and ds1 until he was 2! He's only ever had 2 haircuts in his life. Slow growing blondies)

weeble - my friend is having a bit of a nightmare with her house TBH she's got 5 weeks to go until her due date and she said when she got the keys the house was truly minging like it hadn't been cleaned in 5 years minging, it also needs and new roof and completely refurbed everywhere. I've told her not to worry she will get there eventually, all her new DS will need is a moses basket and his mummy. She's desperate to BF as well so I compiled a list of things they don't ever tell you about BFing and sent it to her today like colostrum is bright orange and when you have a letdown you can have 5-6 jets of milk none of which spray in the same direction, I hope it helps her I certainly could have done with it when DD1 was born. I do believe you will know my friends face as well, she one of those girls everyone knows and likes and she frequented the same pubs.

Am very of all these relations and dressing up, where do you get the energy?

minkus - I agree the blonder a baby is the less hair they will have as a baby, I used to envy those babies with the loads of dark, thick hair when I had a wee baldie. B has the most of all my babies and even she doesn't have that much.

I feel the same about the housework, yesterday I got really stressed about it, it is so thankless, if I tidy a room the DDs wreck it again well they just bring toys out and play really just being children. We have a big clear up at the end of every day though. My anxiety is quite bad right now I probably should speak to someone about it, I haven't been on meds since before DD1 was born.

Evening, I'm afraid I;m a scummy mummy, no make up and jeans all the way (I do straighten my hair though) I used to be an air hostess for BA and as you can imagine, our make up had to be perfect all the time, so when I went on Mat leave with DS1 it was quite a novelty not to wear any, and it kinda stuck but I do feel extra special when I go out with it on!

I've been going to the same toddler group since DS1 was about 6 months, and there are a certain clique there, I just ignore them, and TBH, their children are the naughty ones as they lounge about drinking coffee having a chat and the kids run riot. I;ve made some really nice 'mummy' friends from there, and as it's on the village all our children will go to school together too!

donut Cute photo! He's lovely. I must admit I let Sam 'suck' on my apple the other day, I think he liked it, but wasn't sure what to do really!

Also, I've 'come on' today which explains all the hormones over the weekend!

Oh, funny you should mention realtions WW it's like we've first met here too! funny that!

have to join you in the quality "relations" discussion. we have been getting cheeky once or twice a week which is better than is was pre-baby too.

Cilc - sorry I didn't get back to you yet! I actually don't know that much about what to do with kids here, Elodie being my first but I will ask my upstairs neighbour who has a 3 year old.

Have you been to Louisiana art museum? There is also a nice Zoo, aquarium and all that sort of thing. Will get back to you. Good luck packing!

I'm a make-up mummy too. If I don't make a bit of an effort, I tend to feel a bit crap. I wash my hair when she's down for the night and sometimes try and do some grooming like sort my nails out etc. Must admit to hairy legs at the moment - and amazonian eyebrows. And some days are just better in trackie bottoms, sans slap.

Then at her morning nap, I always shower, put make-up on, pick out clothes and do a tidy up before she gets up. I am too lazy to clean and have been using a cleaner up to now. but now my work maternity salary is over so I am on danish child support for a few months so probably won't be able to afford it.

The make-up is purely for myself, not to impress other mums or anyone. I don't distinguish between "au natural" mums or make-up mums really. We all go through the same ups and downs - its your choice if you choose to put slap on or not.

donut - what a sweetie! I let elodie suck on a piece of melon the other day - she loved it and whinged when i took it away.

noo nooo... i shaved it off again, i was jus lookin at her..and 4t hmm i want her to have nice thick hair, so we shaved it...she looks soooo different..i now knw wat my son wud looklike...loli tik she finds it funny too...she keps touchin her bald head!

oh gals, i need sum help..i wana find a nice long dress to wear for an occasion, im still a fatty size 14 ( i use to be 8-10) reali depressed about that...ne ideas where to look?

Hi all!

Just a quicky, I'm waiting for some cookies to finish baking that DS1 and myself have just made

Just wondered if any of you were interested in any of these