July 2008 - Living in the Twilight Zone of never quite enough sleep to be compus mentus

[libralady]

Just thought I'd better set up another thread as the old one is just about to run out.

i do the same thing, isaid - Elodie was always waking after 45mins - I actually think its overtiredness - strangely enough. Anyway, she did that today at lunch because I got delayed in putting her down so she got overtired. She wouldn't resettle so I took her into bed with me and we both slept another hour and a half.

Thanks for the comments on Elodie - she will kill me for those pics when she's older! She's a cutie - sometimes I miss her when she's gone to bed - how insane is that? All day I look forward to time to myself but when she's asleep and I get to sleep in the spare room, I think about her loads . . .

HI all

Reassured by the posts about '3 month blues' sleep deprivation - I feel atrocious at the mo. At least 2 out of the 4 of us have been ill for 6 weeks now and still not shaking it off! and Florence is up at least twice a night.

Went to the drs today told her I can't cope with the nights anymore, that I feel like walking out of the house in my pyjamas and just keeping walking, that I am vile to dh, stressed and angry.....she was sympathetic but basically just said 'yeah that's normal it will pass...'

Thing is I'm getting panicky about going to bed so not going early like I should, and I feel like I need to get on top of things in the house (I do or rather don't do most of the housework and also both girls evening /bedtime routines - dh does dd1 a few nights). For various reasons I just can't sleep in the day.

The place is such a state - I'm not houseproud, but really!

Anyway, think I'm going to bed in a mo and dh is going to feed Florence in night - luckily have expressed quite a bit.

Sorry for me me me rant and enormous post!

But.....Going to Cornwall for week with my mum on Thurs - to child-friendly place with pool, animals etc - can't wait as she has even offered to do a couple of night shifts!So actually things may improve before too long.
So shall stop whinging now, sorry.

Welcome jadey and smudge, and disney hope things are ok with Sam - and all the best gilly, hope things get better for you really soon.

Oh Tjuice I love love love the bumbo pic!!

Tjuice you got a laugh out loud from me too with that pic... I think you built it up perfectly too as I was very interested to see how Elodie's hair growth was coming along!

Okay... I know Charlie is my PFB but, I did drop first on this thread and Charlie is now FIVE MONTHS OLD so I feel I can contribute something. I honestly feel as if things were DIRE... (i.e. I was beyond knackered, feeding three to four times a night, Charlie had colic and screamed all day long, DH and I were rowing constantly) and then, literally overnight, things changed after three months. Charlie started interacting, smiling loads, the colic stopped, he slept more, I slept more, etc.

Yes, I might just be lucky, BUT maybe it's something to do with the three month mark too? I've had friends tell me that the first three months are just a blur to them now.

What's the saying? It's always darkest just before the dawn, or something like that?

Jodie I feel for you hon and know exactly what you mean... I have felt the same way before too.

isaidno - agree 100% on the napping thing. Took me far to long to realise that that was the way to go, but try to nap almost every day now.

Actually with 2 DS as well as Poppy I often can't sleep with Poppy in the day, which is why the sling is a godsend.
Can't believe Charlie is 5 months old already! Wow!

Sweetkitty i get what you mean about grabbing at food, jack is 18 weeks and thinks that feet taste great!!! yuk!
But i think that jadey has a point if they are showing other signs aswell, ie; screeching for food when they smell you cooking but refusing a bottle (although most people scream in horror at the smell of my so called food!)or the one that made me finally give him solids was finishing 9oz and wanting more 6 times a day at 11 weeks old! I think she meant that you will know when they are ready as their behaviour changes in a way different from the normal exploration they do with their mouths!

I agree with the 3 month low, it was weird we had just got through the colic months and he started sleeping from 8pm till 8am, and then suddenly i felt really crap! Maybe its something to do with hormone levels or just exhaustion catching up!

I think both sweet and smudge both have a point..i agree some babies like to grab food or anything just to explore but i think some like to grab food cause they could poss want to try it as they are ready but i only say that from what other mums have said about their lo so im not in the best position to judge on it as of yet till Grace gets to that stage. She ent bothered about food on our plate in the slightest lol. I have spoke to a lot of mums who have decided when they felt their lo was ready for solids despite being early and felt it was the right choice based on their circumstances.

Smudge- Exhaustion deffo lol. I feel for me, looking after a baby is harder then having a full time job being on feet all day and then going out for an all nighter up town and dealing with a hangover the nxt day..i still had tons more energy then lol.
I just never thought in a million years how mentally, emotinally and physically exhasuting being a mom would be. Its amazing tho

purple ty and i can completly relate to ur post..i myself and super stressed to point i feel i will explode and vile and really obsessed that the house should be spotless at all times which bugs me coz sometimes i wish i couldnt give a crap and live in muck just for sake of my mind but i feel if house ent clean then im not coping and outsiders may think im not coping. How silly does that sound? If ur doc says it will past that gives me some hope

Hurrah!
Hurrah!
Hurrah!

Poppy slept from 7pm to 6am!!!!!!!!!!!
I got 8 HOURS SLEEP!!!
Long may it last - fingers crossed.

Re grabbing food; much as I don't want to get into the weaning debate I have to say babies don't grab at food because they are hungry - they swipe at it because it looks interesting. They have no concept of eating solids; as far as they are aware milk is the only option. Baby led weaning works because a baby will naturally shove new things in their mouth - if that happens to be food by 6 mths or so they have developed the reflexes needed to swallow it. A younger baby needs purees because they only have a sucking reflex designed for milk.

Right, that's my twopennorth!

whoops - too much sleep - forgot how to do the smileys - think I'm already on Christmas ones!

just lost a big post aaargh!

Mcchesers- pulling around on the boob can be them trying to stimulate another letdown, you could try twiddling the other nipple at the same time as feeding to produce more hormones. This worked for me with ds1.

Jodie- happy anniversary! It's hard when oh's still seem to be having the same life as they did before and yours has changed beyond all recognition. They find this really hard to understand and I know I found it really hard to articulate. Hang in there matey you'll get back to feeling semi normal again, it will take a while but you'll get there eventually. x

It was our 7th wedding anniv yesterday- and I'd had the worst afternoon of my life (no joking) with Louis. He does not kow how to get himself to sleep and even I couldn't help him yesterday. Feeding, rocking, pushing in buggy, riding in car, nothing worked . so He screamed for 2 hours non stop and eventually I joined him crying too. Gilly, Nate and Louis sound similar, no more than 45 mins sleep etc, v windy, hard to settle etc. sending sympathies to you!

when he finally went to sleep, i came out of our room to find the bathroom door open, a huge warm bath with lovely new posh smellies, candles, wine- the works. and then when i gotout dinner was waiting for me! dh does have flashes of brilliance sometimes!

Minkus - what a lovely dh you have

Hi everyone
Gilly - I have a terrible back and lasting issues with spd and have found using a sling quite helpful...I also use it when sitting down as it saves my neck and upper and lower back (and lets me use mn . I too find it hard to carry Rafferty. But then I do not need a foot op...sorry just saw that bit!

Disney - I never knew about the three month dip...but I have always said it is the hardest time as everyone expects you are now ok. I have definitely been feeling it...but then like Jadey I am a hormonal nightmare from conception until the end of bf.

Also I went to Florida last Feb (late) and the weather was perfect, mid 20's and not too hot or crowded.

TJuice - loved the pic! I hope you don't mind, I facebooked you to ask if you know of any plays or anything other than the usual tourist things that I can take Raff and DD to next week while in Copenhagen.

OK sorry everyone a poo question...my DD never used formular and I have been giving Rafferty an evening top every so often. On Sunday I bought some formular for reflux babies...he had 3 drink since then and he now has exploding fluro green poo. I am thinking it is just the formular and should not be concerned...has anyone else experienced this? The colour is amazing/shocking!!!!

Morning everyone,

Happy belated anniversary to you too Minkus. Glad DH came through for you!

I think we are just ordering a chinese and a bottle of wine when the boys have gone to bed! I'm drooling just thinking about it! I've been on a diet for about 8 weeks and tonight will be loverley!!! Might even have Pud!

Feeling abit better about myself now, i think what it was that, on Friday I wanted to go out and all of my friends were busy, I;ve only 3 childless friends now and they were otherwise engaged and none of my other friends could get babysitters, so DH went out instead and I just felt really shit, like no one liked me So I took matters into my own hands yesterday and planned 2 nights out, 1 with 'baby' friends and one with 'the girls'. My girly night is on Sat and I;m actually stopping out!!!! (cheaper and safer than getting a taxi by myself!) So I get a lie in too!!!! YEAH

Minkus - oh that sounds like a lovely evening by your DH. Hope you relaxed.

isaidboo -

Cilc - not sure about the floro green colour but As poo did get much more smelly and sludgy when we gave him a formula top-up. Yesterday when I got him up he had managed to soak thru a babygro, grobag and sheet and then as I was cleaning him up he started to pee on me! At that point I gave up and just dunked him fully in the bath!

PJR - I hope you managed to get a good nights sleep last night, cornwall sounds fun!

Alex always makes a fuss when I am cooking or eating food, but I put that down to the fact that my concentration is not solely directed at him and he objects to that fact

Today I am being a BAD mother, Alexander is going into the creche for TWO hours so I can go to a body pump class and then have a manicure. I am going straight to mummy hell obviously . A loves the creche they cuddle him, coo over him and don't make him go to sleep if he doesn't want to (I have just spent 15 minutes listening to him complain over the monitor about being put down for a nap, of course he is now fast asleep.)

yay jodie enjoy your diet free night!

libra1975 Enjoy Bodypump, I did that last night, not aching yet, but wait until this afternoon! I upped my weights yesterday

how i knew about the 3 mth low
is im on meds for pnd and went to the gp saying they dont work anymore im crying again and feeling so crap he just smiles and said is samuel 3 mths yet i said yep 13 weeks he said thats why and explained the 3 mth low to me
its my 7th baby and i never knew before i think its great we share info on here how would we ever survive without MN
my little man is in his cot in his room with his alarm on ( he has a breathing monitor)put it feels so weird him not being downstairs
sorry if havnt replied to anything i havnt fully read the posts yet
got a new pic of samuel on profile my dh wants me to cut his hair but i love it what do you guys think?

CilC, with regards to poo, when Jack had colic we looked at changing his milk to an easy digest formula, my hv advised me that his poo would change colour and texture! The leaflet in the milk also said not to worry if it changed colour, that it would last a few weeks while his digestive system got used to it.

isaidboo, maybe my son is just weird (likely with me as a mum!) but at 4 months i tried him on a small chunk of bread, he managed fine and seems to really like the different textures. I was worried about him only having the sucking reflex but he adapts so quick to food its scary! Congrats on the 8 hours sleep, J sleeps from 8pm-8am but i still wake up as i keep thinking surely he should be waking up soon!!! It seems i cant get out of the habit of night feeds even if he has!

Isaidboo- Very about your 8 hours!

Jodie-Happy Anniversary!

Minkus- Glad you had a fab evening yesterday. That bath sounds fab!

Libra- Just talking about the Gym is making me feel tired!

Disney- Loves Sams hair! Abiagil has alot of hair ( but not quite as much as Sam) and I love it too!

Well I must say that news of the 3mth slump couldnt have come at a better time for me. I was beginning to think I was going crazy.
Recently ive felt so fat, frumpy, grumpy and hating all my clothes.
Im also convinced that Abigail doesnt love me! She crys for me but when DH comes hope shes huge smiles for him and is as a good as gold. Makes me look stupid for saying shes been grumpy during the day.

Also the whole night time thing is getting me down. Last night AGAIN she woke after her 4am feed. Stayed away till 5.30! We left her to settle herself off again rather than get her up and thankfully she just shuffled around alot making funny noises, but im still wide awake waiting for her to go off. Very Very of you lot getting nice long sleeps. My friends 3mth old is doing 12 hours! Not fair!

Missing Baby club this morning as A) I cant be bothered to dress up like everyone else does- plus my clothes are all crap!
B) Too tired for conversation and listening how great everyones babies are C) Hoping a few days in will get Abigail back into her (sort of) routine again.

Suns out so washing day again! woo hoo!

keep the hair disney!!

Libra I did get a good night even tho I had to wake up dh so he could then get up and get Florence to give her the expressed milk - but I just rolled over and went back to sleep! Bliss!
Feeling a lot better today, know I've got it easy compared to so many!
Pigley - dd1 is such a daddy's girl! I used to get the same - as soon as he walked in she would go mad with excitement, she only wanted him in the night or when hurt. The only thing that has changed it is having Florence - since she was born dd1 is clingy to me and calls for me - which is now a pain sometimes when I'm feeding or whatever!!

iv'e been getting really jealous of my dh, i spend all day with jack and i get smiles out of him but i also get screamed at, food thrown at hair pulled etc. But when daddy comes home he gets jacks undivided attention! No kidding he studys every move that dh makes and he even made his first laugh for him! I on the otherhand just get raspberry's blown in my direction!

pigleychez- are baby groups really that bad?!! I haven't ventured out yet really, my hv says that i'd enjoy them, but when i went to a weigh in at clinic all the mums had straightened their hair done their make-up and looked fab all dressed up! I had baby sick down one shoulder and had delightfully thrown back my hair without brushing it! Plus all my clothes don't fit properly and i look a frump! But if i buy new clothes i know in two weeks my shape will change again!

At what point does your shape stop changing on it's own after having a baby?(ie without you doing loads of exercise to help it along)
I want to know what i've got to work with before i think about clothes shopping! (plus im scared of all the pretty skinny things that work in the shops!!! They will have babies one day too i giggle knowingly to myself!!

Hi all,

Just been and got Sam weighed, he is only 13lbs and 1/2oz!! he's only put on 1lb in 4 weeks Gone back down to the 9th centile (previously was on 25th, although at birth he was on 9th) HV doesn't seem too concerned though, he's 'eating/drinking' 6 bottles a day (about 7oz each feed) and is sleeping through, feeds every 2.5-3 hours during the day, not much more I can do really. Just a as he's growing out of his clothes so quickly, although I think he's getting longer rather than fatter!

Disney he's beautiful, keep the hair, it's not too long at all.

Disney - keep the hair! So gorgeous! I agree MN helped get me through a difficult pregnancy and at times the help and advice and just having a place to off load has been great.

Yep Disney I agree with Jodie and CilC, long hair on little boys is so cute (so of course ds1 has long hair )

smudge I don't think all baby groups are like pigleys (sounds awful though! don't blame you pigley for not wanting to go) the one i used to go to with ds1 was lovely, have made some wonderful long lasting friendships with normal mums there, just steered well clear of the ones who looked too wellgroomed! in fact i'm off out to meet them for a drink now, have a good night all.