Evening all!
Charley - I'm sorry you're feeling so sad. Grief doesn't make appointments and you're always going to miss B. It won't always be so hard, but you've been really strong throughout and you have to give yourself a break when you do feel down.
Everything going well in the TYG household.
The "gorreys" for the benefit of CAQL as follows...
Was assuming on Thursday whilst in Waitrose, that the contractions I was getting were just strong BH. More likely to have been pre-labour and all the cooking was a last minute nest building exercise.
About 11.30pm I gave in and lay on the sofa and told DH that I thought I was in early labour. Called midwife around 1.30am when contractions were every 3 mins, (although quite manageable) on the basis that A came within 5 hours of labour starting. Thought I was getting off lightly with an easier to manage labour, but after midwife checked me over around 2.30 it turned out that I was only "starting to dilate". I was gutted! She set everything up and went home and I went back to bed. Managed to catnap, somehow, between contractions til about 4.30 when I got out of bed and said, "OK, this is it now." Sat on the birth ball for an hour or so and made sure, before we called midwife again. Called B&SIL at 6ish (poor them) as I realised the baby wasn't coming before A woke up. BIL picked her up at 7 just as midwife arrived for the second time. Was 5cms (and thinking "I can't do this for another 5 hours, I want to transfer"), but of course getting in the pool was enough to calm me down and make things manageable. Plus the midwife called for her backup and I heard her saying, "I don't know if you'll make it, things are moving fast now". So just goes to show; it might have taken half the night to get me to 5cms, but less than 90 minutes from there to having a baby! They recorded first stage as starting from 4.30am, so it was "officially" 4 hours. Always seems a bit unfair when you've been contracting for 5 hours before the "official" start!
Midwives were fab. Ended up with three in the end, because my usual one was just coming on duty at 8.30 and they called her to see if she wanted to "join in". They were great in the active management of the 2nd stage. Helped to keep me calm during transition, which felt like forever I was saying "I can't do this, I can't do this", but in fact it's recorded as 7 minutes. I can't believe I forgot how shocking it is to suddenly feel a baby's head coming out. One minute you feel pressure and then there's a head! He was out in three contractions and they were great, reminding me to breathe him out and not push. I managed to push back from the side of the pool as his body was coming out so I could lift him up out of the water myself. It was great.
DH was fab, though REALLY tired, having worked the late shift in the office. At one point, he crawled under the bed to fix a slat that had moved and was making the mattress sag. A couple of minutes later, between contractions and leaning on birth ball on the bed, I said, "DH? Erm, are you ok?" He'd only managed to fall asleep on the floor under there...
Anyway, once things really started happening the adrenaline kicked in and he outdid himself. Went out to get them pastries from the corner shop and made tea before they left and they were very impressed. Asked me to put the word around to other pregnant mums... Said they often don't even get offered a glass of water!
Didn't feel as "in control" of what was going on this time round and I think it's because I actively practised my hypnobirthing (albeit half-heartedly) last time and this time I just thought that it was the breathing that really helped and I didn't bother. I certainly needed more help and encouragement this time. Last time I really went into myself, but I needed coaching this time. And I certainly made more noise!
The midwives were hugging each other and were all teary-eyed and saying what a lovely birth it was. He came out eyes open and relaxed and although he was quite blue, he wasn't squashed up looking or anything.
O is VERY chilled out. Poor A was very squished in utero and came out quite tense and grumpy. O is completely relaxed. Feeding well, sleeping loads and happy to lie in his carry cot and look at the little black and white "frieze" thingy I put round the inside of it when he's awake. Not keen on having his nappy off, but has managed to wee on me already (I was warned about this with boys!) so obviously has a sense of humour. He had a little feeding frenzy from 1 to 2.30 last night, but then slept til 6.30, had a feed and slept again til 8.30, so it's no wonder we all feel fine today.
SIL kept A all night last night, (we were amazed, thought A would fret, but she was fine) and we had a lovely relaxing day in bed. Got up in the evening and managed to get the place tidied up in no time. All the laundry is done, we've eaten properly (thanks to my nesting ). A came back this morning and is non-plussed by O and loves the little buggy and baby dolly I bought her. O has been chilling all day and DH and I are bored now because it's all been so ridiculously easy. Thinking of going to the Innocent village fete tomorrow in Regent's Park to get out of the house. I feel fine, not even bleeding much so would quite like to get out and about if the weather is nice. Have just said to DH that we might just have a walk around and go again if I feel at all tired. Am very aware that it would be easy to overdo it and make myself ill!
So, that's it. We feel like we have a pretend baby. It could be that in two day's time he decides to have a personality change and start crying all the time, but for now, he's no bother at all. It seems the "having my hands full" element of having babies so close together isn't going to come into effect for 6 months or so.
He's making some very cute noises... Awh. Will try to get around to posting some pics, but I'm a bit lazy about that sort of thing.
Have the Tudors recorded... Ahhh. Going to relax on the sofa and watch that.
Love to all! x