April 2008 - the one where Scorpio and Millie show us all the 'through the night' trick

[Scampmum]

Sorry if someone else has already started one - couldn't find it!

Much better night last night, maybe due to gripe water?

ladybee I'm so sorry

vs, hope you are better soon. glad you are seeing your GP!

nora had her jabs yesterday too. I've never heard her crying this loud. poor baby. next one in 4 weeks...

vs, just read your MH-thread. I'd like to write more but it's hard to translate (german thoughts...)
let someone you trust watch your dcs and go see your GP. nothing will happen to them when you're away for just an hour. and please talk to your DP (DH? sorry), he will help you too, I'm sure!

VS, read your thread, I so wish I could say something meaningful, but don't really know how or what. Sorry, can't remember from all previoius posts, but where are you? I know your profile says Oxfordshire - are you easily reachable by train from London? I don't know if you've got loads of company anyway, but if not, please let me know - I could do a day trip with Roelof and we could have a coffee or something? I don't know if it would make it worse or not recommending this, but we could still watch your lo all the time?
Only other thing (more for stress - i panic sometimes), would a hypnotherapy session help you? It does for me - I get so stressed sometimes that I can't see the bigger picture and therefore doesn't function as well as I could otherwise... After hypnotherapy, I'm better at what I'm doing. So while it will help you breathe easier, you won't "take your eyes off the ball" - to the contrary. Not sure if this will help at all if pnd, but worth considering.
If I were you, I'd go to the gp anyway - you can still decide whether you want to follow his/her advice after, but while you've got the appointment etc now anyway, go and see how you feel.
Sorry for the long post btw.

Ladybee, I'm so sorry about your grandfather. I know what you mean about wanting to be there, but you've done the right thing. He is in your heart, do something special with your lo in his memory, something that reminds you of him.

VS - I have also read your MH thread, and I am so sorry you are going through this. It is very hard to find something meaningful to say, something to make you feel better about how you are feeling. I am not sure if you are religious, but I find comfort in God and know that he looks after all his flock - you and your DC's included. I am praying for you in the hope that you find your path - for it is there.

I second Sal's suggstion - will drive up to Oxford in a flash - you just need to say come!

Go to your GP - I am sure he/she will have dealt with something similar before - as a few posters have said - we have all been there one way or the other.

xx VS - we all want you to feel better.

This whole thread has made me cry today! Ladybee, you poor, poor thing. I think VS's idea of dedicating the day to him is lovely, maybe play Ben some music your grandfather liked and when he's in a happy mood, sit him down and tell him some stories about his great-grandpa! I don't think it would have been feasible to go, either with or without Ben, so please don't feel bad. Are you getting married here or in NZ?

VS - will read your other thread and in the meantime big hugs. I have horrible paranoia too but mine is more like that I will accidentally do something to the kids (esp DD2) - for a few nights now I have been tormented by a vision of my sitting her in the bath chair and starting to run the bath, then falling asleep or forgetting about her . Obviously this has a zero chance of happening, but doesn't stop it being really distressing. (Yes, I am a bit odd.)

Still having shite nights here and barely coping. DH having an absolute nightmare at work so can't really help. Going up to Yorkshire for a week with Dad on Tues so hoping I can handover at 7 when DD1 goes to bed and go to bed then, perhaps till 2 or 3 if I express in the morning.

M2BR, where was your cranial osteopath? Would you recommend him/her? Sorry to hear about your vertigo.

everybody.

VS - have already spoken to you, thoughts are with you x x

Ladybee - be strong, when i was v pg i lost my nan, i spent the day of her funeral thinking about her as i couldnt go to her funeral either. I had tremondous guilt over not being there - but they know you love them, they know you care.

Scamp - can you get some day help? anything? Sorry i wish i was nearer or something Guess this is not a great time to discuss cots then? Hopefully your dad will help you - can you get a maternity nurse again or will someone pay for one for you? Can dh get a few days off?

Scamp do you have an electric pump? if not get one, mine is great. May help?

What about homestart or something?

Scamp - I totally recommend my cranio guy - he is in Balcombe (off the M23 - near East Grinstead). Such a lovely man who really put me at ease straight away and really helped G. I'm seeing him again on Friday. He is free the 1st time your baby sees him, and thereafter it is £21. If you want his details let me know. I also know of another one in Warwick Avenue in London - a friend of mine sees him and swears by him (the guy I see trained him). I'm sorry you are having such a shite time of it - give the cranio a go - it can't harm. He (Richard) said to me that he gets 5/6 year olds that come to him and after a few sessions they suddenly announce that their head doesn't hurt anymore - turns out they have had a headache their whole lives and not known that it wasn't normal until it was gone!

My dad's on his way up, yippee. I cried when he said he wanted to come and help!

I have a medela mini-electric and gallons of frozen milk, it's just someone else to give it to her that I am was missing!

VS, I read your thread. I really feel for you. You're obviously very clever and it's easy to post-rationalise irrational fears/thoughts/decisions. I think you need to listen to the part of you that says this isn't right. The 'superstitious' element is blown out of all proportion by the sleep deprivation and whatever else is going on in your brain chemistry. The rest of us can testify that there is a marked difference in you. Rather than thinking that this feeling means something is going to happen to Alex, you could look at it the other way and think 'IF I am having a bit of PND/my neural pathways have gone a bit haywire, how would that be most likely to manifest itself? Oh yes, hideous fear about something happening to the newest and most vulnerable of the three most precious things in my life'. I hope that makes sense. I totally know where you are coming from but it hasn't got the better of me yet! I also think that the person who posted about self-esteem issues (though WHY you should have any is a complete mystery!) was probably quite close to the mark. It's very important to get to the GP sooner rather than later as these things can spiral very quickly thanks to the negative feedback loops. You won't be put into some kind of trance that means you're not looking after your children properly, you will simply get some help to restore yourself to the person you are best and happiest being.

Big hugs.

Oh, M2BR, cross post. Yes, could I have his details? If you don't want to put them on here, I'll post my email (have decided that random weirdos are quite unlikely to manage to get through this thread!)

Scamp - here we go:

Richard Davison,
1 Combers,
Balcombe,
West Sussex,
RH17 6NE
Tel: 01444 811017

Let me know how you get along!

Hope it works Scamp.

Sorry but can oyu email me re cot please? Just so i know whether to wait or to get something else

stephaniematthews943 at btinternet dot com

Emailed Scorpio and phoned Richard. That's the quickest I've ever done two things on my to do list!

Excellent! When do you go see him?

i havent got an email, maybe someone random has it lol!

will re-type

stephaniematthews943 @ btinternet dot com

Got it! replied

One of my kittens has gone today i cried

VS - I hope it goes ok at the GP tomorrow, am very pleased that you've managed to persuade yourself to go (despite your fears), and that your DP is going with you. So sorry you're going through this.

Sal, did you get to the Lewisham library baby bounce today? I went to the afternoon session - enjoyed it a lot so will try to make that a regular one. Let me know if you want to meet there.

Yay for scampmum's Dad!! Hope you got some rest.

Thanks everyone for your sympathy, I'm trying to write something that will be read at the funeral service and will spend some time in contemplation on Saturday.

Scorpio, I love that you cried about your kitten being adopted - I'm sure you've made someone very happy by letting him/her go

hi ladybee. no, didn't end up going, as went into town for an interview (or kind of, more chat about possible part-time position in a couple of months). Still trying to make up my mind about whether to put my career completely on hold for a couple of years and complete my family first, or to do part-time and wait a bit, hence the outing. Still no wiser though. Sorry, rambling, must go to bed but can't sleep for some really, really annoying reason (which I don't know). Anyway, what I meant to say - didn't end up going, but will def next week - do you want to do morning or afternoon?

Oh btw, I'm really thick (in case no-one noticed)... I kept wishing I knew what to say to poor Scorpio because her kitten had died. It was quite a relief to see the light with Ladybee's post.

I wish I knew why I can't sleep, as I quite clearly need it.

the other 3 are off today

i am in a very bad mood. they have messed dh wages up and im alot of money short.

Sorry to hear that Scorpio - when will they put it right?

I worked really hard yesterday at making sure A had the exactly right amount of food and sleep in the day, at the cost of my own sleep, and thought she might go 4 hours in the night without waking. Did she fuck. I was so looking forward to a 4-hour straight stretch of sleep - my first in 8 weeks. But it wasn't to be. She woke up after three hours, then two. Aaargghhh! I have moved her out of the moses basket, but now whenever I get back into bed, she wakes up as my bed is SO creaky.

On the plus side, I have got into a size 12 top and don't look pregnant!!

Thanks for the CHB address Suze.

M2BR - was going at 2pm today but just cancelled it as don't trust myself driving on the motorway and could see myself getting very stressed in Friday afternoon traffic on the A23 on the way back! A friend recommended one a 10 minute walk away so will go there instead. Jan was very nice about it!

Scorpio, bad luck, hope you get it sorted soon. Channel your alpha woman and give them a call!

I know exactly how you feel Sagitta, though not today as went to sleep at 8.30, woken up by Dad at 1 who had had DD2 sleeping on him (not really the idea but I can't complain!!) settled her in the moses basket and didn't feed until 3.45 - WAHOO! And she wasn't crying with hunger then, but she was stirring and I was covered in milk so thought I would feed her! Weirdly was so angry with DH for not telling Dad a) how to swaddle and b) not to let her sleep on him that I was wide awake from 1 till 2.15. Felt fine about it when I woke up - this sleep deprivation does make me a moody cow! Just googled it and apparently it is a real issue - one study attributed most road rage to sleep deprivation. I'm generally a relaxed person but in this state I really see red and it's hard to rationalise myself out of it!

i have spoken to them already but they are soooooooo slow....its not their money i guess. I need it today - have a dd for our car payment going out tomorrow morning...