Oct 2007; This Little Piggy Rolled & Crawled to Market, This Little Piggy Walked Home

[FloriaTosca]

I hope I manage to do this right...I'll kick everything off with a roll call if it does.

by standing up to her, you're not just doing it for you, but also for dh, Ollie and Henry because no doubt she'll pass on this behaviour/be-littling feeling to the children at some point too. I know as my nan has done it/doing it.

Just doing Muppet, what is there to lose by being polite but firm so you can;t be accussed of stirring up trouble. Maybe if you tell her about your mum's emotional blackmail calls she'll understand where you're coming from.

if not, you will feell soooo much better for at least trying.
If that fails... just ignore them where and when possible forever. Your dh might be pee'd off for a bit, but if he's not going to stand up for his wife and family then you should. He'll get over it soon enough.
Its not as though you're accusing her of stealing so you've SHAMED him!!!

((Hugs))) Muppet...I have no really helpful advice, never having been in that situation..Good luck to you in trying to stop her emotional manipulations without harming your family dynamic.

Floria sorry about the awful night honey - hope last night was better.

Mine and Inzi hello lovely ladies! It's been a while - hope all is going well for you both...

Muppet have to say I would hate the emotional blackmailing calls too and also feel really let down by the fact that your dh didn't stand up for you. I think doing as Mine says and just calmly and politely telling her how you find the emotional blackmail upsetting (and telling her about your own experience with your mum as a reason why is a good move I think too as long as you want to go into this with her). I think you unfortunately have to back off about how she treats your dh. I would be angry about this too but this is his battle and if I were you I would stick to the other as if you go off about several things to her it minimises the impact. If your dh is happy to put up with her treatment of him then I guess that's his lookout.

Hope you can get it sorted - it's no fun when you're at logerheads with family like this. Dh's mum can behave in a similar way and like your fil sounds (also 70 this year) all she can go on about is how old she is, how she's almost 70 (has been for a least a couple of years!) rather than making the most of the fact that actually she is pretty fit and well for her age and could do a hell of a lot more if only she tried. But like my dad said when we discussed this with him - you have to allow people to grow old if that is what they wish in the same way as you have to let your children grow up.

Good luck!

Well, we have Sam's picnic this pm. He went down for his sleep at 12.30 and has been chattering off and on since then! He was really excited when he went to bed so I bet he's just too excited to sleep! Going to leave him up there though unless he sounds upset - if he doesn't have a sleep I bet he'll just get overtired and not enjoy it which would be a real shame!

Hello to everyone else - hope you're all well x

Well Sam has not got chicken pox, he has just been bitten alot by something. I thought as much this morning when no new spots had arrived and those he had didn't blister Am I bad in saying I wish he did have it? it would just have been so convenient during the school holidays

He has got antibiotics for his cough, not asthma as we were fearing, apparently doc reckons he has just got an infection and the amount of mucus is making him cough. He has been running a temperature all day again today, as soon as the medised wears off the temp comes back hope the abs work quickly. I was up 4 times with him last night for a total of about 3 hours. Early night for me tonight

Ben on the other hand has cut his 2nd tooth with barely a whimper just as well, don't think I could cope with both of them being awake during the night

muppet - sorry about your in law problems, I hope something gets resolved on that front sometime on the near future.

alicet- jeans in post today, 2nd class though so hopefully you will get them by wednesday. Hope Sam enjoyed his party

Inzi - well done on the weight loss, I lost 3lb last week too. Think I may have stayed the same this week though, will find out on wednesday.

Floria - I hope you manage to catch up on some sleep soon and that your back is better

Sorry if I have missed anyone.

J20 - hope you are ok.
Choc - hope you are settling in ok and getting things straight and unpacked

I went to see my friend today and her new little boy so cute, they have called him Freddie it does mean I can finally pass on all my boys clothes to someone, I thought I was going to have to charity shop it all

Alice - how did the picnic go? Hope Adam is over his chicken pox - doesn't sound like he's suffering much.

Crochet - at dh and 'lumpy' comment. I hope he's paying dearly for that.

FT - yay at Alex's tooth but oh crumbs at the lack of sleep and the grumpiness! Hope last night was better.

Inzi - well done with weight loss.

LLL - hope Sam is better.

Muppet - sympathise about the mil. Agree with Mine's and Alice's advice - firm but polite. And avoid as much as possible. Not sure that telling her about your mum will make much difference though - she doesn't seem the empathatic type of person. FIL's party is a hard one though - torn between supporting dh and not wanting to bother with mil. Would it only be for a few hours? Or would you have to stay at their house? As for being the baddie, do you really care what she thinks of you?

Well, first day of new job today and it was a very gentle introduction! All the bosses were out and a seminar had been organised for all the advisers, so I went to that - but it finished at 2:00 so I came home! Job starts properly tomorrow with induction sessions (there's another adviser started with me so I'm not alone)- although we don't have to be in until 10am. I could get used to this job!!

WWaJC: So glad the first day went well... hope Anya didnt miss you too much...and hope it continues as well as it has started.

LLL;sorry Sam is still so poorly... understand the almost disappointment at it not being chickenpox, I felt the same when Alex didnt catch it a few months ago. I hope the abs kick in quickly and you get a decent night tonight. Bens easy 2nd tooth. Congratulations to your friend on Freddie. My back is still a little tender but ok now thanks for asking.

Inzi;Well done on the weight loss!!!

Alice; hope Sam wasnt over tired, the picnic went well and the weather stayed good.

Well last night wasnt wonderful either... poor mite was trying to sleep but whimpering in his sleep and waking screaming in pain, cheeks and ears burning red..I was watching the clock for when I could give him another dose of paracetamol or ibuprofen..he even bf for comfort from 11.45pm till 1am! I had to take him to the spare room so dh could get some zzzs before he had to get up at 4 am for his flight. And his nappies today defy description [yuk emoticon]but he has napped and eaten better and fell asleep a whole hour earlier thasn usual...so I'm off for an early night to try to catch up. Hi to everyone I havent mentioned.

WWAJC hope today is going well for you! about your hours!

LLL thanks loads for the trousers. I understand you being sorry Sam doesn't have chicken pox. If you head on up here he can cuddle Adam if you like!!!

Floria I would be relieved Alex didn't get it - it's only this week I have found out if they get it under the age of 1 they may well get it again as they don't necessarily get sufficient immunity! Fingers crossed not though...

Hello everyone else! Just a quickie as Adam slept for 2 hours this am while dh had him and I was at work (wrong but - could have done with a couple of hours kip!) so he is running around in his baby walker crashing into my ankles as I type! He was a bit sorry for himself this weekend but seems a lot happier now - woke at bloody 5.20 this am though and NOTHING was keeping him asleep although I did try!

Sam had a great time yesterday afternoon thanks - didn't seem too tired but then after his mates had gone you could relaly tell he was shattered! Went down really easily last night...

Anyway off to try save my ankles and enjoy the 1 to 1 time with my smallest little boy...

Alice; Glad Sam enjoyed his picnic. Glad Adam isnt feeling so much under the weather now..no wonder he had a 2 hr nap after getting up at 5.30! I hope he gives you a siesta this afternoon to make up for it. Enjoy your 1 to 1 time

We had wakings at 11.30, 2.30, 5.30 and up at 7am but no screaming and straight back down to sleep, thank heavens...it is all so much harder when Dh is away (sorry J20, I think you are wonderwoman managing on your own)...He still having nasty nappies though [yuk]..It's a shame really because our potty usage was getting so good that last month we only had 2 dirty nappies all month, and were even getting to the point that most of the time he was dry too, we only needed 2 fresh (cloth)nappies all day on 3 separate days ..but this last week I havent been able to reuse a nappy even once! Ho hum, we'll get there eventually.
I'm off now to wake him as he has been napping since 2.30 and I want him to sleep tonight.

Floria -am hoping you had a better night last night and hoping that the nasty nappies have lessened!

Alice -glad the picnic went well and I agree it's lovely to have 1:1 time with either of the boys. Ollie is enjoying 'mummy ollie time' on thurs and fris which means we can go to museums and other big boy stuff (Hen doesn't sleep well in his pushcair so we're a bit limited when he's at home)

Well, I have calmed about the MIL situation and are just going to leave it. I suppose I have to accept she is never going to change, and neither is DH. The thing that really annoyed me was that I have already told her how I feel about the answerphone messages and the phonecalls but she hasn't taken it on board and still does it. I think that really shows what sort of person she is.

I had my hospital app to get the results of the tests I had done earlier in the year. She told me I had a hole in between my bottom and vagina that I needed a repair and that she would refer me to another surgeon. I then got home to a phonecall from the hospital saying that she'd made a mistake and she had read the reason for the tests and not the actual findings and that actually nothing was wrong but they would like to do further investigations under anastetic (so sorry for sp?) I am thinking I am going to leave it as I seem to have to explain and keep explaining to different people each time and if I miss something I feel I haven't stated my case in full as it were. I told the Dr yesterday I was having pain and I thought maybe my endometriosis was coming back and she said 'oh I didn't know you had endometriosis...maybe I'll get a gynaecologist to take a look at what's going on while we're looking'
I'm fed up with seeing different people, going through everything from start to finish each time and then worrying about missing things out. I have an embarrasing but not urgent problem so I think I'm going to leave it. I asked in the app as to a possible 3rd child and she said that with the damage that they would recommend a c-section and I was very happy with that. (she even asked what delivery I'd had with Hen -had she really read my notes at all????) When she phoned at home I asked again what that would mean for a 3rd child and she said that there would be no medical grounds for having a c-section but if I felt I just 'couldn't do it again then you could chose a c-section' I felt that she was intimating I was too posh to push though I do see I could have taken this a little to personally!

Lost my trust again, won't be having a third child amd don't want to go back.

...god I'm such a winger this week!

Floria really feel for you on the unsettled nights - I was up at 1 amd 5.30 (Sam then Adam) the other night and I was shattered - can't imagine how crap you feel after a run of them!

Muppet I'm not sure you're pissed off with what has happened - it sounds as though the hospital have really messed you about. Mistakes DO happen and at least she called to correct the situation but neverthe less you are getting a lot of conflicting info which is not acceptable. I can understand why you feel as though you have had enough but why don't you call the consultants sec and ask to be seen again - by them rather than a more junior doc - so they can explain EXACTLY what the crack is about the implications of not getting investigated now and what having another child will mean. I think this is the least they can do in the circumstances. I think the mil decision is the right one too. Didn't realised you had already told her about the calls - what a bitch. If you hear a similar one on the answerphone I would press delete and if she then asks why you haven't returned her call I would say something along the lines of 'well I have told you how upsetting I find those calls and given that you haven't stopped leaving them despite me telling you this I am exercising my right not to have to listen to them' Good luck with both!

Muppet a big typo in my message to you - no idea what happened there! Didn't mean to say 'I'm not sure you're pissed off with what has happened' but 'I can see why you're pissed off with what has happened'!!!

thanks Alice, I think a good half of the problem is is that I just freeze when it comes to anything like this. Ever since Ollie's birth and the hell that came after I am very nervous of Drs/hospitals. I actually shake I get so uptight so I know I can a) not hear things properly b)not ask enough questions and c) take things they say the wrong way but I was so chuffed I asked questions during the app but when she phoned I didn't really ask anything I'm glad she phoned as you're right, people do make mistakes but it was an honest mistake with no repucutions.

I am sat here waiting for Ollie's Drs app that I had to make as we left the gym, got to Hobbycraft -less than 10 mins away- and I got Ollie out of the car to see he had a swollen eye! Not sure what's gon on there but it's now spread to the other eye, it's itchy and it's on his body too. This poor boy always seems to have something wrong! He's upstairs on the sofa saying it's itchy. He hasn't had anything he's never had before so I have no idea what's that matter. The thing is I have detailed all that has been wrong with him (we're still waiting for the results of his blood test) and saved it on the computer and have now added what has happened today so I can just print it out and hand it over. I seem to be able to manage the boy's apps but not mine!

It is easier to look after others rather than yourself though isn't it? No rush but I would ask for an appointment to see the consultant. No need to be bolshy about it. Write / email if you find that easier than calling. Just explain that you understand the mistake that was made but the result is that you now don't really understand what is happening. Write down all the questions you have before you go and make sure you make a note of the answers - take dh / a good friend with you if this helps. DOn't worry about being a 'pain' - trust me there are loads worse and actually it's only what you should expect! I DO sympathise though - when I was trying to sort out my elective section I was such a wimp at asking stuff I wanted to know and I certainly should know better!!!! Good luck xxx

If I wasn't at the opposite end of the country I would offer to come with you x

sorry dont have time to read, just making sure i know where you all are, hope you're all ok x

Oh Alice you are fab xxx

You're right, I will phone and ask for another app.

We were seen by the DR for Ollie's reaction yesterday and she says it was a reaction but it'll be very hard to find out what so we have some medicine to give him and if it gets any worse or effects (affects? which one?) his breathing then we have to go to hospital. We have to carry this medicine around for a few days in case it happens again but she thinks this is all due to his reduced immune system as he's got a viral infection anyway at the mo. He's itched so much he's red raw on his back. He's just got up and his face is all puffy again, I forgot to ask the dr when it should go so if it's not gone by tomorrow I'll phone and have a chat with the Dr. I just feel so sorry for him at the moment as he's not at all an ill child and at the moment he's getting everything that's going around.

Dh phoned the IL's lst night to say that Ollie wouldn't be coming up to stay at all in the holidays as as he's not right we'd like him to stay at home with us and she changed the subject and then made excuses to get off the phone. We won't hear from them for a while so what do they say about every cloud having a silver lining? (Shouldn't say that I know x)

I went out last night for a drink with friends and we were supposed to be going to see Mama Mia but it was fully booked (again, we tried Tues, must learn to actually book!) so we just walked to the pub. Great to get out but are now very tired. Off to soft play today and then letting Ollie sleep the afternoon away as he's tired then anyway and his medicine makes him drowsy.

J20 -good to see you how's your love life?

Take care all
xxxxxxxx

muppetgirl - I really feel for you with this - after I had the 2nd mc, they found something hinky in my blood - and I was followed up by the oncology dept - when I went for the app, I took my mum with me, just to make sure that we got all the pertinent details ... but if they'd then phoned me at home I would have been in bits!

If you can't get anybody to come with you, I'll come - I'm probably the closest to you in terms of geography.

glad to hear about your silver lining - but sorry to hear that Ollie is not at all well ... thinking of you!

hi alice!

My first official day at work is tomorrow - where did the time go? Mind you, it's the last before the holidays - and there's been no kids in school today or yesterday because of the unison strike, so I'm not expecting lots of kids around tomorrow!
I've been very organised (with help from other MNers, I must add!) and have formally informed them that I'm still bf, and that I need facilities to express: dephead phoned me on Tuesday, and we had a nice conversation, where she basically said that they had sorted it all out for me!

Just about to "do" my vip slot on the next sale!

See you all soon. Looking forward to earing the latest instalment of your love life J20! (have nothing going on in mine at the mo' - mastitis and lumpy comments have put the stoppers on that!

Ooh - have lost another lb - now 26lbs in total - 2lbs to target!!

Well done on the weight loss crochet. I have lost 26lb so far too I am now back at my pre-pregnancy weight but I want to go lower as I was overweight before I got pregnant Good luck at work next week. I have my vip slot at 2.30pm, hope I can get what I want

Muppet -I hope you get yourself sorted and I would take crochet up on her offer if you have no-one else to go with you
Hope Ollie gets better soon, I feel your worry as Sam has been poorly for what seems like months now too, I am hoping he will be better soon now he is on abs

when is the Next sale on Crotchetdiva?

What is this vip slot thing?

Muppet I would take crochet up on that too - remember how she kicked ass to get the birth she wanted? Just what you need! Glad to hear Ollie OK too but agree to take him back if getting no better...

Hello crochet LLL and J2O!!

Just a quickie from me - bys about to go to bed so off now and will be back later

hello everyone/anyone who remembers me!!!! havent posted on here forever cos i am on another thread from my TTc days and i just found it too hard to keep up with two threads! BUT!!!!................i had a spare few minutes and thought i would have a check up on all you ladies on here. havent had a chance to really read much but i have looked at pictures on profiles and can i just say that i think you all need to update them a bit!!

hope everyone is doing well and babies are all growing well! my little marcy is a gorgeous superstar still...........by far my cutest baby........although obviously i would never say that in front of my other 2!!!

hope all the first time mums are enjoying being mummies and loving each new stage as it comes along! i am horribly broody at the moment, but i am hoping it will go away cos i dont think having another baby is really the right thing for us to do.

love to all and your oct '07 babes

Hello greedy! Of course I remember you!! Great to hear that you and Marcy are doing so well. I will try to get round to updating the pics as you're right - it has been a while! Just don't seem to have enough hours in the day at the moment but then isn't that life with 2 small children?

We are off away for a few days tomorrow - down to see some friends in Essex on Sat, then off to dump the boys on pil's for a couple of nights and dh and I are off to Cambridge to sleep and eat lots! Back to pils on Tues and then back up to sunny Newcastle on Wed so will be back sometime after that... May well get on here later but we'll have packing and stuff to do so I'll say bye now before I forget!

Greedy just checked out your pics and I agree Marcy is supercute!