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May 2008 - we just couldn't wait!

922 replies

thefortbuilder · 24/04/2008 19:03

for everyone who's popped already and congratulations to us all!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Mitchell81 · 23/06/2008 16:36

Lm74: thanks for answering, not that it was what I wanted to hear. Getting the implant contraceptive next monday, but have alreaady had sex twice. If the worst has happened(sorry shouldn't think falling pregnant is the worst that could happen). But how bad would it be for me having had a c-section. I know that they said I could have more C-sections but obviously not so soon.
Fingers crossed I am not though.

luckymummy74 · 23/06/2008 16:39

tbh, i think you would have to be very 'unlucky' if you are pg after only twice and if your periods haven't started yet. fingers crossed.

youcannotbeserious · 23/06/2008 16:46

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youcannotbeserious · 23/06/2008 16:49

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youcannotbeserious · 23/06/2008 16:49

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Mitchell81 · 23/06/2008 17:05

YCBS: sorry about your stressful weekend, we have a swing and it is fine to leave them to sleep in it. I have just realised that the whole time with DS1 the seat was in the upright position.(I always thought it would be so nice if it could recline) well it now is lying right back for DS2. ooops

asicsgirl · 23/06/2008 19:52

casserole how scary, so glad your mum was there. i admire your restraint stopping at the one glass of vino! thinking of you and leo tomorrow x

ycbs also sorry to hear weekend stressful. dp and i saw each other only at weekends for a while (pre kids) and he also worked abroad for two stints so we saw each other even less frequently. i really recognise the 'mismatch' feeling, and i always found it really hard to adjust to being with him again, however much i missed him in between times - i almost resented him for messing up my routine . it must be so much harder with kids involved too so i feel for you (((hugs))) i'm sure harry will come round! kids can bond with people they see much less often, e.g. ds1 adores my parents and he only sees them about 4x a year. confidence is so key in getting babies to like you i think - ds1 wasn't very happy being 'passed around' but one of my colleagues grabbed him saying 'oh, babies love me', and sure enough he snuggled into her! so as your dh gets more confident - or learns to project confidence - i think it will get easier.

lm74 it's good to hear that things are generally good for you but i also think you do very well at keeping everything in perspective and 'counting your blessings' (i sound like my granny now)

mitchell81 fingers crossed for you re pg. how is the house sale going? and can't remember if you said you had found somewhere yet? also tongue tie is this - where the baby can't extend its tongue beyond the bottom lip - interferes with bf and can lead to problems with weaning and speech development.

gingerwench i found olive oil worked well for ds2 who came out with v dry skin, but you need to persist as it doesn't work immediately. and don't bath them too often i guess you could try bepanthen nappy cream, i think it is milder than sudocrem. you can use it as a preventative each nappy change.

wolverina hope you get dp back under control soon! i agree the snoring is a turn off esp when you are awake feeding the lo no doubt hormones and lack of sleep don't help the libido either... did you read this news story? maybe if you csn persuade him to do more around the house you'll fancy him more...

magicfairy so glad the feeding going better, and the saline's helping with the cold. rah for sleeping in basket too!

monkeysmama poor you. hope you feel better soon. good luck with getting to know some new people. i guess dps have problems adjusting to parenthood too... you say on your profile you are/were a 'career woman' so it's a big culture shock being away from work and everything that means, however much you love being a mum. i was completely unprepared for this with ds1 and felt isolated and rudderless. i envied dp going off to work and keeping up his 'old' life. i had few friends too and relied on him hugely for emotional and practical support. is this similar to your situation? dp felt very torn between work commitments and wanting to support me. we were very bad at asking for help then and we are trying to do better this time, taking up offers of help and shamelessly asking for it too! if your friends all use you as a counsellor, maybe you could try getting them to counsel you for a change? do hope things improve (((hugs)))

indigo well done for surviving the week!! ime there is nothing that will keep a baby awake if s/he really wants to sleep... pita but there you go. i have resorted to putting ds2 in his carrycot as that is the one thing that's guaranteed to wake him up!

right sorry for long post, and sorry for people i've forgotten. my mum up tomorrow [phew emoticon] have a good week everyone x x

Mitchell81 · 23/06/2008 21:00

acisgirl: Thanks for asking, its been on a week and no viewings. Agents say last week has been very quiet for this area. So hopefully things improve this week, we haven't got anywhere we are going to rent for awhile.
Glad your mom is coming tomorrow

luckymummy74 · 24/06/2008 07:48

Off to my brother's (remember him?? Super-Bro!) until Saturday. He lives at the seaside...yipee! DD1 is VERY excited. I will hopefully be able to check MN on his computer otherwise I'll never keep up!

Yay for Baiyu who gets to see her DP today

This is just a quickie as I have to go and pack....

LM

asicsgirl · 24/06/2008 09:23

lm74 off to the seaside eh? you truly are a lucky mummy we're going to the seaside for 2 weeks in july, can't wait... have a lovely time!

youcannotbeserious · 24/06/2008 14:26

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luckymummy74 · 24/06/2008 16:56

You see it's happening already....people will not like me cos my babies are good sleepers ......

monkeysmama · 24/06/2008 18:29

Wolverina & Asics - thanks for your messages. Made me feel better on a bit of a blue day. I suppose I just didn't expect to be reduced to tears every day once the baby we've been through so much for was born. But hey ho. I have been shouted at twice since we "talked" - once for talking to him on the phone when he'd called me but was too busy to talk?? and secondly for not helping to find the matches to light the bbq while I was bf-ing. I feel like I have 2 babies to look after. We have discussed how we feel again & we will see what happens I suppose.

I feel so happy with everything else & a bit of me feels stupid for being upset. But our dd is 6 weeks tomorrow and I'm back in my pre pregnancy jeans. Shouldn't matter of course but I have spent some money on new clothes, and some expensive new underwear, hoping to relight a fire that has been out since the 4th month of my pregnacy (very definitely him being too tired, too worried, too (fill in the blank)) and nothing. That isn't the most important thing but I am supposed to be me, not just the medium by which a baby arrived in our lives - and at the very least he is supposed to be my friend.

He is a very defensive character and I am very practical - I try my best to work problems through. It is like he sees it as him against the world (and me) and I see it as us against the world together. so he complains that he hasn't slept because of the baby, I complain we are tired and suggest doing something relaxing together.

Oh well, enough complaining. I am taking dd out now for our first practice run for the Race for Life next month!

MM

monkeysmama · 24/06/2008 18:33

Forgot to say - Casserole - hope it has gone well today. Do let us know.

And Magicfairy I am so pleased the feeding is going well. Well done!

justjules · 24/06/2008 19:32

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magicfairy · 24/06/2008 21:46

ycbs - ds1 slept in a swinging chair every evening for a couple of months for hours at a time and he is fine now, with no probs!

Casserole - hope it all went well today

LM74 - only joking !!!

We have had an awful evening of non stop crying for 2 hours, which is very out of character for ds2, he wouldnt feed either, finally got him to sleep by rocking side to side and humming, looked like a right plonker but he is sound asleep now, in his basket!!!

Ds1 has been to nannies and playgroup this week and had a great time at both, first time since ds2s arrival, yay, hes geeting back on track!

youcannotbeserious · 24/06/2008 22:08

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Wolverina · 25/06/2008 07:00

Hi everyone
First of all I'm so at those of you who are back in your pre pg clothes. I gained about 2 stone which I was really chuffed with and have lost more than half of it, but I still feel huge, and worse I look all wobbly as I haven't exercised for so long. I want to start taking DS2 for a long walk every day as soon as I get the all clear from my OB next week. I had visions of the weight falling off as DS is a very hungry baby and I must be using up hundreds of calories just breastfeeding, but it doesn't seem to work like that for me, plus my boobs are so huge they make me appear even bigger - I can't wait til we come back to the UK for our summer hols. I am going straight to Bravissimo to get measured for some proper supportive bras. I've had enough of these crappy Mothercare ones which are the only ones I can get here.

To those whose DPs are having a hard time adjusting to fatherhood, I wanted to offer a word of support. My Dh really didn't bond very well with DS1 who's now 5, even though he tried really hard. Obviously he loved him, but he just didn't get him in the same way that I did, and I'm afraid I made it worse by always correcting him and jumping in every time he did something I felt was wrong. I thought I was helping, but didn't realise I wasn't, until DH pointed out how dispiriting it was having someone watching your every move and telling you constantly what you're doing wrong. I had to force myself to back off and let him do things his own way even if I (or one of the countless parenting books I had read!) thought it was wrong. Now DS is 5 and they are really close. I think DH just had a hard time getting used to having a baby as he is very dynamic and results driven, and caring for a baby needs you to take a step back and approach things in a completely different way.

OK, not sure if what I've written is at all helpful or just a load of rambling nonsense, but I have to go as DS2 is yelling in a very annoyed manner ("Where is my milk? Why aren't I getting my milk right now?') so I must be off!

youcannotbeserious · 25/06/2008 10:30

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gingerwench · 25/06/2008 10:42

Thanks again for advice on the skincare. We are persisting with the olive oil but also I have used a little Weleda calendular cream (almond and other organic oil base) which is helping (and smells yummy).

asicsgirl · 25/06/2008 11:07

ycbs i can see what you mean about harry and dh having some 'time alone' but if it's at the expense of your time together...? could you all go for a walk with harry in the sling and get dh to carry him?

one thing that i think really helped dp here was knowing he could get ds1 (and now ds2 too) to go to sleep (rocking them, walking around, singing etc). it takes ages and lots of screeching often but ds2 now goes to sleep really soundly when dp does it, and i think this has really boosted his feeling of connection with the boy and capability as a father. it's another thing that means you really have to butt out - go and put your ipod on and ignore the howling - and just leave them to it for as long as it takes (unless it becomes really obvious that harry needs feeding). good luck!

monkeysmama so sorry. it can be so hard when you have been through a lot to have a child. we spent a while ttc with both our two and i felt (and now feel again) almost guilty for feeling down about things when i was so chuffed to have them. but babies are exhausting! even lm74's model daughters! and however much you love them you are tired out and emotional, and it is very wearing. harder too when you don't feel supported i'm afraid i see crying every day as a pretty normal part of early weeks of baby-rearing ... sad but true.
one other thought - is it possible that dh is depressed? men can get baby blues or PND too, see this article?

wolverina lol at ds2's milk demands figleaves do international delivery and they have some nice maternity bras...? i can sympathise with wanting to exercise - i was back running (only short distances mind you) at 6 weeks with ds1 but i think it's going to take a bit longer this time round... like you i'm planning some long walks and maybe a little jog in a week or two when i'm feeling a bit fitter...

well ds2 had his tongue tie snipped yesterday! all very quick and smoothly done. he is already feeding better and last night he slept for - wait for it - 6 and a half hours he did have a mahoosive screaming fit before dropping off - in fact he cried a lot for about 4 hours beforehand, poor love, so he may just have been exhausted, but we are optimistic...

my mum arrived yesterday too and has already made herself indispensable, singing to ds2 when he was screaming, making us dinner and doing loads of cleaning. what a star.

have a good day everyone... x

luckymummy74 · 25/06/2008 11:29

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside......

asicsgirl · 25/06/2008 11:31

stop that right now lm74!

JentlyDoesIt · 25/06/2008 11:35

Hi all,

YCBS - I agree with the others, let them have some alone time where possible. Use the sling if you can so DH can wear him whilst you are out. They will bond in their own good time I am sure

MM - sorry to hear you are having DH probs. They can be like extra children at times I think my DP felt left out when DS arrived as he was no longer the only person at the centre of my universe. Fingers crossed you work it out soon.

Casserole - good luck today. Thinking of you.

Hope everyone else is ok. We are now on Colief rather than Gaviscon and it does seem to be helping. Last night DD went to bed at about 7.30 then didn't wake til 2.30 then 7.15 long may this continue!

right, off to play in the garden with DS while DD naps again.

mumofkandj · 25/06/2008 14:55

Hi, sorry been up to our eyeballs here for a while. DH admits he is depressed, really struggling as he has to take DD1 to the loo in the night, he doen't get back to sleep and then is not very helpful for another day. I sent him out for a walk last night after i heard him 'shut the fuck up' at J- he doesn't normally swear, but i was upstairs and they were downstairs...He's learned to warm the bottle of expressed milk (DD1 had it cold, but I think it was a gradual thing we did with her, and this is J's 3rd bottle!). I've got a meal out I'd love to go to next week, but not sure if DH will be up to it.

Dry skin- DD1 has exczema and v dry skn when she was tiny. We got aveeno cream on prescription, but I've been using organic babies baby salve head to toe on Jas- we got it for K's bum! but it helped her dry skin too, and no nasty rashes, so Jas has used it from day 2. Also, with Jas she's only had about 4 baths as the water made K's skin worse, even with oilatum.Daily baths not essential!

j crying, got to go but hugs to everyone having a tough,(yet normal!) time and grr at LM!