May 2008 - we just couldn't wait!

[thefortbuilder]

for everyone who's popped already and congratulations to us all!

Right - DS is now just 9 days old and is feeding well. Possibly too well - last night he had a mega feed and then vomited it all up over me and my bed (nice). This was the last feed before midnight (ie. the one I was counting on sending him to sleep for 4 hours). Then he fed again unsurprisingly since his tummy was empty. And about 15 mins later vomited that up too but this time over DH . The midwife didn't think it was anything to worry about when I spoke to her this morning but I wondered how anyone else who is BF on demand avoids a greedy baby taking in more than they can cope with?

Hi all just a quickie say a big thankyou to everyone on here for all the support through our feeding issues. Suddenly feeding is going ok, not great but i can feed and enjoy it now, and i truly believe if it wasnt for the support i'd had from mumsnet then i would have given up by now, so thanks to you all!

Will catch up proper later xx

p.s: i'm watchong a wilkinet on ebay, fed up with the ring sling, still loving my kari me though, but hey a mum can never have too many slings!!

magicfairy sooooo pleased to hear the feeding is going better . well done you!!!! gingerwench In my experience, when babies sick up their milk, they don't then need to feed again sooner, as you would expect them too, IYSWIM. DD1 used to sick up, actually no, projectile vomit, quite a bit. I never then fed her again until usual time she was due and all was fine. DD2 the same although sicks up less. I know it's hard for us to get our heads around, especially when you see how much milk comes out (!) but I wouldn't necessarily feed again straight away or soon after. Does that help? It is blardy annoying though, the whole projectile vomitting thing. DD2 did it in her car seat last week. I left her 20 mins after her feed before getting in the car, but had to go out somewhere. At first I thought the damage was minimal, until I took the covers off the car seat to wash them and the plastic base of the seat was like a milk swimming pool .

YCBS I think you are doing an amazing job on your own all week, keeping th house in order etc and getting out each day....well done you too!! Have a lovely weekend (and hopefully a bit of a break) with DH.
DD1 smiled at about 6-7 weeks but DD2 definitely smiled at about 4-5 weeks. You will be able to tell the difference. A 'wind' smile just looks different. With a proper smile, their eyes smile too, IYSWIM.
Re: mobiles, we have the Tiny Love Symphony in motion mobile. DD1 didn't really seem bothered by it but DD2 loves it, and it definitely shuts her up when she is crying in her crib, so worth every penny . John Lewis sell them, here is the link. Sorry, don't know how to do the whole 'here' thing on links!!!

www.johnlewis.com/230209625/Product.aspx

MIL left the building at 5:30pm. It wasn't too bad today, although I was a bit cheeky and escaped upstairs for a nap myself at 4pm !!! I literally couldn't keep my eyes open I was so tired.
DH is looking v tired tonight and feeling a bit exasperated with both girls who have been good all day, but they are hard work. I have just gently tried to tell him that how he feels now is how I feel most nights.....

I fed DD2 at 6pm then put her to bed, she fell asleep after about 10 mins of not too bad crying, thought we were the luckiest parents ever....then she just woke up screaming after about 15 mins . Oh well, back to the drawing board!!!

Have a nice Friday evening. Dare I ask but is anyone watching BB9?? I'm almost embarassed to admit it, but WTF, I sit and feed so much each day, it's just something on the sky plus that's easy to dip in and out of.

LM xxx

DOH! Here is the link to the mobile....

www.johnlewis.com/230209625/Product.aspx

Just a short post to say sorry for not being around: we?ve had an odd week with Leo; during a routine repeat blood test to check his jaundice levels (which were fine) they found that he was quite anaemic and had a heart murmur; the latter of which is obviously more worrying, though we?re not sure yet if they are linked. They think the murmur indicates that he has a hole in his heart; the good news is they think so far it is a small one, which likely means they won?t do anything except monitor him ? but we won?t know yet until next Tuesday when we go back to the hospital for an ECG (we already had one, try sticking 12 sensors on a wriggling baby!!) and an ultrasound of his heart.

So it has been a bit of a strange week really, and alarming with doctors telling us to look out for things like him struggling to breathe or turning blue etc ? hard to know whether they are telling us those things just routinely or because they think there is a real risk of it. We figure they would have kept him in if he was likely to have any sort of crisis. Luckily my Mum just happened to be with me when we had the blood tests done and the doctor casually said ?I assume someone?s already spoken to you about his breathing and his heart?? (WTF??) ? I hadn?t planned to have anyone there as the tests were routine but she was around so popped along with us, which I am really thankful for. I very calmly said ?No, why do you ask?? which I was quite proud of at the time- then an hour later we left the hospital and headed to the nearest place serving wine for a large nerve steadier (poor Leo with these drunken women in charge of him).

Hope you are all doing well. Special hugs to pregnabrain, hope you're feeling better soon.

LM74 - I can sympathise with the projectile vomiting thing, ds is constantly bringing milk back up but today he did a full on projectile vomit with milk showering over half the living room and me & him included, i've never seen anything like it - it was coming out of his nose too poor thing! I'm actually getting fed up of the being sick thing as dd only brought up milk about once ever and the washing machine is on constantly at the moment!

Pina - you are very organised with your word docs! hope your dd finds the next ballet class a bit better!

magicfairy - glad you are finding feeding easier than before.

YCBS - dd smiled at 6 weeks which i believe is about the average although i may be wrong, ds is 5 weeks on sun and no sign of a smile yet.

JDI - your dd looks cute on your profile pics!

Baiyu - glad you're feeling better, and that your dp is coming home soon, also great news about the flat.

Well i survived my first week on my own with dd and ds now dh has gone back to work, it was quite hard work but not too bad. ds seems to sleep too much during the day and then screams from 7-9.30pm which is annoying but don't know how i can keep a sleepy baby awake in the day?

hi, just a quickie again, ds2 has a stinker of a cold, is there anything anyone recommends for unblocking his nose, hes reallt having trouble breathing?

Hi all,

Casserole - that must have been very frightening and I would have headed for a glass of vino too. Thank goodness your mum was with you. Fingers crossed all is ok with Jamie.

Indigo - Thank you! Does Jamie sick everything up all the time? You might want to see if he has reflux, there are a few websites that will help you by giving you a list of symptoms you can compare too. DS's was cured with baby Gaviscon (he had silent reflux so wasn't sick though) and DD is on it too. If you google reflux, the websites should come up.

MF - glad the feeding is going better

Wow LM74 - am v [snvy] of your big sleep and I do hope it continues for you. DD usually goes to be at about 7 ish and I generally waker her at about 9 but am going to try and lleave her a bit longer then waker her for a feed when I go to bed too.

magicfairy DD2 has a cold/hayfever (??) and the nurse at her 6 week check said to squirt sterile saline water up her nose and gently remove any snot with a cotton bud. It worked for us. She gave us the saline but I think you might be able to get at the chemist??

casserole sorry to hear about Leo, fingers crossed for next Tuesday.

alert
Well sorry to say it girls but we put DD2 down at 9:30pm and she woke at 4:30am but didn't cry and seemed to find her thumb and go back to sleep, then woke for feed at 6am!! Do I officially have the first 'going thru the night' baby?? Let's hope it lasts!!

LM xxx

Afternoon ladies

Pregnabrain - it made me sad to hear how you've been feeling. I hope you are feeling brighter soon.

Casserole - really hope everything goes well at the hospital.

Having gone through a stage of thinking how easy this all is have been feeling a bit down this past week or so . Mainly DP has been irritating me & I've been feeling lonely and a bit trapped. DP hasn't actually done anything in particular but I am starting to find him a bit slobby since DD was born. The fact that he ate four biscuits when he came in the house on Wednesday evening made me so angry I had to leave the room (I think because looking good is important to me & he put on as much weight as me when I was pregnant which I have now lost....) The snoring at night when I am up to feed the baby is getting to me too - he still gets up a few times to change her nappy but then moans constantly about being tired, as if I get a chance to sleep during the day when he is at work. I have some family issues (they hate DP ) and don't really have anyone close near (we do have friends but they always use me as a counsellor so I am loath to spend that much time with them). DP knows this and we've discussed how that makes him very important to me right now. For example last night he got in and said "I started to get a headache as soon as I got on the tube to come home". When I suggested that was a tad offensive he didn't know what I meant! Then today he has gone out all day on a work thing leaving me alone again . I feel really sad because I enjoy his company a lot and really look forward to the weekends when we're all together.

I suppose the answer is to get out more. I go out everyday but am bored of shopping and though I enjoy our daily walk in the park it only takes 2 or 3 hours at most! We had an "incident" on the bus earlier in the week too which knocked my confidence again and made me feel even more vulnerable being out with dd.

Enough complaining! Think I just need more sleep, to learn to drive and to make a new friend or two.

Stela's finally awake so off to dance with her to some cheesy soft rock. Always cheers me up .

MM

Hi girls sorry Ive been absent...got the dreaded lurgy in our house. both kids are full of it! Ive got a UTI, tonsilitus, a stye, had AF ALREADY!! god you think im run down or what??

Little man is 4wks old and has smiled!! He's on my FB pics!!

Pina you dont know what a wizards sleeve is? LOL

makes a note to herself to do the word doc thing...as ive read every post and forgot what i was gonna say!!*

hope youre all well!!

Magicfairy - the hosp gaves us saline drops for Leo's nose as he was snuffly and they don't want him having any trouble breathing. I'm sure the chemist can do them over the counter, and you just give a drop in each nostril before each feed. Also lifting him up a bit when sleeping at the head end - put a couple of telephone books under the feet of his cot to raise his head a bit. And lastly, put a bowl of steam in the room - but obviously not anywhere near where he could get hurt by it. A warm bath would probably do the same trick.

Thanks all for good thoughts. Will keep you psoted. Don't ahve long on here tonight so sorry for not replying better. Special hug to YCBS

hi all

just a quick update... have read thread and will try to do individual replies later...

bit down here tbh. ds2 is sleeping v poorly,gave up on daytime naps for longer than 15mins last week and hv (who i trust) says it is prob reflux. we have been trying various things e.g. raising head of cot (no effect), daytime naps in car seat (quite a lot better), cutting out caffeine as he is bf, sleeping on side (variable - sometimes better) and groovy new hammock bed (!) etc etc. but we are still getting very short sleeps at night and feeling exhausted

went to bf cafe last thurs and they have referred ds2 to surgeon to have his tongue tie looked at and (i hope) snipped on tue. hoping if he is feeding a bit better he may be able to go longer between feeds (he snacks constantly atm). may also help with windiness as better latch we hope.

dp is being great and has been taking both boys out for a long walk in the morning so i can go back to bed. he is knackered too tho! and i just feel sad that we are spending our time trying to catch up sleep rather than doing nice things as a family. feels very hand to mouth existence.

the last straw is that i think my abscess is coming back over last few months i have had loads of antibiotics for it plus had it drained AND still comes back so this time it will mean an op i know it;s only little but it still means a general anaesthetic and i am stupidly worried about ds2, bf, etc.

i am so pathetic on no sleep! and was just in floods about it all this am. my mum is coming up next week for a few days so we will have some help when dp is at work.

sorry for extended moan but wanted to let you all know how we are. i feel pathetic because i know many of you are dealing with much more challenging situations. my heart goes out to you all.

Hi everyone
Just a quicky as I'm off to bed soon, but just wanted to respond to a couple of posts..

asicsgirl when I haemorraged a couple of weeks ago because of retained placenta I had to go under GA so they could remove it, but it was fine - if they know you're bf you can get an anaesthetic that doesn't affect your milk supply or baby. I was being operated on at 3am, woke at 3.30am and fed DS2 at 5am, no problems. I really hope you get it sorted and feel better soon

monkeysmama I can relate to you about the DP issue. My DH has always been big but has put on even more weight recently, and even though he talks about trying to get healthy he never does anything about it. It's made worse by the fact that he has high blood pressure which has got worse recently, and as he's middle aged and in a stressful job I'm really worrying that he's a prime candidate for a heart attack. He's very dismissive about this and just insists that he's ok and the weight doesn't affect the BP as it's hereditary, which is partly true but it must make it worse. Also on a more shallow level I just don't find him attractive at the moment, and I used to fancy him so much. It's so hot here he will sit around with no shirt on and it just looks really unattractive. Oh yes, and he snores too which means I can't sleep in the same room as him it's so loud.

Oh dear, I've rabbitted on about myself far too much when I was trying to be supportive; sorry about that! Hope everyone else is well, now I'm off to bed - 9pm is a late night for me these days! Have to get a bit of sleep before DS2 wakes for a feed..he's a bit of a night owl!

casserole - sorry to hear about Leo, good luck at the hosptal on tuesday

LM74

mm - sorry to hear things crappy with dp, hope they improve soon, maybe getting out to a few mum and baby groups may help you make freinds, i was soo unsure about going to those things with ds1 as i dont make freinds easily and hate group situtaions like that but have made some lovely mum freinds

asics - re tounge tie, ds1 had this and had it snipped at 6 weeks old, this made loads of difference and he did go longer between each feed and fed for less time, which was great. Ds2 also in the no daytime nap group, unless moving, i dont know how i would survive without my sling!
At nighttime have you tried him sleeping in your bed, not to everyones approval, but once we started doing this with ds1 the diffenece was amazing, he fed when he wanted to and i just dropped right back off to sleep! So with ds2 it was staright into our bed and although he feeds quite a lot at night, we arent suffering with sleep deprivation! and its lovely sleeping with your ickle bundle!

Thanks to everyone for the cold tips, got some saline water stuff and it seems to help and at night he ends up sleeping on my chest with me half sitting, half lying. he keeps being really sick now too as he is swallowing all his snot, mmmmmm!

The feding though is still contiuning to improve, we have even dropped the bedtime bottle as all it did was make him sick and get worse wind and he didnt sleep any longer than between brestfeeds, so he is back on boob only!

He has also started sleeping in his moses basket at night, which ds1 never did, so i am still in disbelief. he goes down about 8.30 and wakes around 11.30 - 12, then comes into our bed for the night.

Anyway its far too late for me to be up, so night night everyone, sorry for not addressing everyone but big hugs to all of you feeling pooey xx

asicsgirl sorry to hear you are down. It's all an emotional rollercoaster at the moment isn't it? These days will pass, trust me. It's such a difficult time for us all, just remember what one of DH's childless friends said to me...."every day you survive is a day closer to them being more settled" I was a bit when he said it as he is not v into kids at all, but it made sense. Each day, each week we survive is closer to things improving. Sorry to hear about your abcess too, no wonder you are feeling so poo-ey. Poor you. (((hugs))).

It sounds as if we are all suffering a bit at the moment, crying is very good, a good release. I always feel loads better after a cry. I seem to go from feeling really good and positive, usually in the mornings when DD2 now seems to be happy to go back to sleep in her crib for a bit while I get DD1 up and do any washing, washing up etc, to feeling like a wreck, like the afternoon when DD1 is tired/ratty/trying it on and DD2 is crying constantly and I need to BF her and try and get DD1 to eat her dinner at the same time etc.....Then I can just feel the tension rising....

Right, I'd better go and play with DD1, I am feeling guilty that we have some time alone and I am on MN!!!

just a quick one to say thanks so much for the support chicks. it means a lot to me.

wolverina thanks for the info re. the general - that's a huge relief.

ycbs glad to hear i'm not the only one in floods all the time! i'm quite a weepy person generally so i think being tired just exacerbates that. my PhD supervisor was from Peru and she said 'oh you are just peruvian - everyone there cries at the drop of a hat' all this stiff upper lip stuff is just cultural

can i jsut do a quick product placement? we have just bought a hammock bed for ds2 and it is great for babies who don't settle well (thinking of you here ycbs) as when they furfle around, it bounces & swings very gently and rocks them back off. you can also bounce them yourself without having to get them out and rock them again. ds2 seems to really like his so far. Got it from kiddicare.com for under £150 and they deliver next day. i should get commission...

magicfairy really good to hear the tongue tie snip made such a difference to your ds1(and not just because it gives me hope lol). glad the co-sleeping works for you - we haven't gone that route (yet!) but may do... who knows

lm74 but you always seem so bouncy and positive when you come on here your point about being 'one step closer' every day is so true - i found myself thinking this the other day, thank god it;s the second baby, as you can see the first one running around as living proof that all these things do eventually get sorted out.

i will try and catch up with everyone's state soon... sorry to be self-obsessed. love to you all a x x x

just a quick one as i am rubbiush typing one handed with my left hand - DS is asleep on the other.... thanks for comments on vomiting so far he's not had any other mega episodes just small ones. I think he is learning to judge his liquid limit. Our new problem is the extreme wind/colicky crying esp 8pm through to early hours. reading other people's posts it sounds as though that is quite normal....we found a warm evening bath seemed to help although not solve things.

what is everyione using on their baby's skin? DS had dry akin at birth and midwife advised olive oil but it's not improving much. we've been using just water to clean him and i'm trying to be careful as i have sensitive skin and allergies so think he may be the same. His bum is starting to look a bit red too but no nappy rash - should i be using a powder or a cream do yuu think?

gingerwench: I find sudocrem works well, but I don't know how it is for allergies? Also our HV suggested almond oil to rub on dry skin also good for dry skin on heads.

Magicfairy: glad things are improving, what is tonguetie and what do they do to fix it?

YCBS: Good to hear how well you are coping on your own, is ds enjoying his new mobile and he will get used to DH holding him

LM74 also embarressed to be watching BB9, but if i miss it not really bothered. Very jealous of your dd sleeping through!!
DS2 is only getting me up once sometimes twice, so can't complain too much.

Casserole hope Leo is ok, how scary for you. Hope tuesday gives you some answers

Kanga you are having a rough time at the moment, hope you get better soon

Pregnabrain hope you start feeling better and get lots of support and others who I have forgotten

MonkeysMamma and Wolverina hope things with DH/DP start improving and they stop eating all the biscuits.

Baiyu: Enjoy tomorrow with DP, so pleased he is coming home for you and enjoy your flat

I know I should know better but can you fall pregnant before your first period after having a baby. I am not BF and DS2 is six weeks.

I am sure I have missed people out, sorry typing one handed with DS2 on my chest.

mitchell81 Yes you can fall pregnant before your first period because your period is 2 weeks after ovulation, so you won't know that you've started ovulating again until you get your period, IYSWIM. Anything you want to tell us !!

asicsgirl I like being referred to as bouncy and positive!! Certainly feeling quite bouncy carrying these 34F's around at the moment!! TBH, I do feel very positive a lot of the time. My DH is truelly wonderful and I put it all down to him, he really is just so helpful and cos he works shifts he is around a lot aswell (he can survive on not much sleep so even when he is on nights he doesn't sleep too much in the day). I feel very lucky in life generally (hence, my chatname!) I know that compared to a lot of babies, DD1 and DD2 have been really good. Yes, she cries and it drives me potty, but when I read on here about babies crying all the time and not settling unless being held etc, I realise how lucky I am. Apart from now, I genuinelly try not to talk about it too much as I have this fear that people won't like me if I'm too smug about things, IYSWIM. DD2 slept thru the night again last night, 10pm til 7am, which in my opinion is amazing for an 8 week old breast fed baby.
The other thing is, I tend to come on MN when things are calm, i.e. DD1 not around (asleep or at CM's) so I am positive. If I could post when things are getting on top of me, it would be.....ARGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!
I agree with what you said about it being easier when you have another lo, cos you realise more readily that there is an end to all this shitty early phase.

LM xxx