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May 2008 - we just couldn't wait!

922 replies

thefortbuilder · 24/04/2008 19:03

for everyone who's popped already and congratulations to us all!

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Youcannotbeserious · 10/06/2008 18:10

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pinacolada82 · 10/06/2008 19:38

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KangaAndRoo · 10/06/2008 21:18

OMG Wolverina...how scary for you...my jaw dropped when I was reading that!! hope you are feeling much better!

Bayiu ... I got my feeding cushion from Argos...really soft and hugs right round your waist. hth

((hugs)) to all those feeling blue. I can tell i'm being 'watched' for pnd .. prime suspect for it apparently

....tell me....those with a new bub and a toddler....how the hell does your toddler cope with the crying at night? My hungry man is waking for his bottle and squawking...but waking dd up...I try to change his nappy and keep his dummy in at the same time...could just do with an extra hand LOL

Well it was our first day 'alone' today....me and the kiddies LOL....and tbh I think I coped really well!! needless to say I got more than enough phonecalls off dh to see 'how things were' lol

Well I got a breast pump and its soooo much easier but still cant get my supply up still only getting 2oz the whole day!!! still i'm happy im even getting that!

hope you're all well xx

thefortbuilder · 11/06/2008 08:17

kanga just kep going - if you're getting 2oz that's something at least - says she who dropped milk very quickly....

wolverina - so sorry meant to say how scary for you and thinking of you!

i'm touch on sam with crying - quite often if he's wailing in his basket it'll be on and off so he may have to keep going for 30 or 40 mins (especially if it's bath and bed for jacob). if he's really screaming of course i pick him up as there's no way he'll get himself to sleep if he's hysterical like that. i do sometimes look and see if his eyes are open - sounds silly but he does wail right before dropping off so often he's wailing but his eyes are closed and he's on his way to sleep already.

xxx

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asicsgirl · 11/06/2008 09:10

hallo all

wolverina that must have been terrifying. sounds like you held it all together really well, well done!!! so glad you're ok and yes, these things really do make us count our blessings don't they.

magicfairy so sorry it's so hard for you. i was surprised to have latching probs with ds2 too as i got on so well bf ds1. you've prob explored these ideas but sevearl people have mentioned tongue-tie - could your ds2 have this? i am also finding feeding hard at times as i have a fast let-down, but this site has some good advice. hope it gets better soon x x

baiyu hope you are finding some support. i've got a widgey bf cushion which is very good - quite pricey new but i got it off ebay. it's very firm which i why i like it, some of the beanbag style ones are too soft for me, don't give enough support. it will also be good for when ds2 is not-quite-sitting-up as he can sit in it and be supported - ds1's nursery had one and it was brilliant.

zammummy congratulations!!

all those whose babies won't be put down - ds1 was like this too. my sympathies!! some things that i tried that might have helped (who knows!) were:

  • spend ages making sure s/he has burped loads
  • put a thin fleecy blanket between the sheet and the mattress - i think ds1 found the bed too cold
  • try rocking them off in bouncy chair instead
  • try putting them in car seat instead (i know you're not supposed to let them sleep too long in car seat but ds1 seemed to prefer the more 'crunched up' position, and so i figured it would be ok occasionally if it meant we all got some sleep)
  • put them in the sling and carry them around - hard on your back but at least you then have 2 hands free!
  • of course the answer is probably one of these if you can afford it!! i think i would have been tempted if i'd known about them then...

sorry if those are all really obvious suggestions! don't be offended if so i'm sure you've all tried everything!

kanga well done with the expressing!! do persevere, it really does take some getting used to ime. are you using an electric pump? if so i always found i couldn't get a let down - i had to pump with the hand pump until i felt the let down then quickly swap to the electric pump.

the other thing to try (i think someone already said this) is expressing from one boob while feeding from the other. it's a bit awkward but i always found i got much more when doing it this way. good luck!!

pina poor you, sounds like very hard work. i know this sounds obvious but could evie be having a growth spurt? my hv said (and i do trust her opinion, not like most hvs!!) that babies can have 'mini' spurts in addition to the 3, 6 and whatever week spurts they are 'supposed' to have. i just wonder because you said she settled after an extra bottle...?

mitchell good luck selling the house! are you moving far?

well dp and i made up and we've had a couple of better nights' sleep since, so feeling more human. so hard to be reasonable on no sleep!! i had a nice afternoon yest, had a nurse appointment then in town spotted 2 mums i know from nursery with their new-ish babies and they invited me for a coffee v nice to chat about second children and get to know them a little. managed to do some shopping, feed ds2, pick ds1 up from nursery and get us all to the bus stop in time... felt very good!

sorry for mahoosive post! have a good day everyone x x

Fleurie76 · 11/06/2008 10:44

Hello ladies,
I haven't been on since posting our birth announcement and can't believe that Holly is now over a week old. I must say it's very reassuring to read this thread to know that there are so many of us going through the same thing.
Like YCBS and pina we're having issues with DD not wanting to sleep apart from being held. Desparate not to make a rod for our backs but most of the time just happy she is asleep!
Thanks ascisgirl for the tips on trying to setle them - will need to give some of them a try!

Wolverina how horrid for you love, glad you are OK now

JBR and Baiyu sorry to hear you are feeling so down, hope that you are able to get some help from the HV or support from elsewhere - sounds like you both need it - big hugs to you.

Kanga thanks for the welcome to the third degree club still carrying a pillow with me everywhere I go!

Question for mums who know about these things- how soon can I expres and try and give a feed from the bottle? DD is feeding and latching well but DH is desparate to be able to help with feeding - at what point is breastfeeding considrerd 'established'? Or am I trying to run before I can walk at 10 days in?? - any advice appreciated!

thefortbuilder · 11/06/2008 10:52

fleurie - i know i will probably be pounced on for this, and i'm not giving this as advice, just my own experience - ds1 was born at 32 weeks and tube fed for 2 weeks. at 3 weeks old (only 1 week of bf'ing) he was given a bottle of ebm with fortifying powder (essentially formula so not suggesting this!) as he was so tiny. he had no problems with nipple confusion and bf'd successfully until 6.5months when i wanted to stop.

ds2 was bottle fed as well as bf'd until i stopped bf'ing at 7 weeks - he too didn't appear to have any confusion.

normal proper advice is i think around 6 weeks.

xxx

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KangaAndRoo · 11/06/2008 11:13

Thanks Flick and asicsgirl....but asics...im not bf'ing....would guess it'd be hard to bottle feed and express at the same time though lol ty anyway xx

podglet · 11/06/2008 11:13

Hi all and welcome to the new mummy's!

Asics - sounds like a lovely day and very organised - well done! I took DD to a baby club yesterday and DS went to the creche they provide, then we had lunch in the cafe in the same building, then went into town and did some shopping and got home in one piece so I was pleased too!

JBR and Baiyu - I too feel a bit rubbish at the moment. I only scored 12/30 on the test my HV gave me but to be honest, I don't think it summed up the way I feel very well. I have my 8 week check at the Dr's tomorrow and the HV suggested I ask for Cognitive Behaviour Therapy to see if it helps. She has also put me down for a 10 week course the HV's run for PND. Lots of hugs for all those not feeling great at the moment.

Wolverina - sounds mighty frightening for you - hope you feel better soon.

Have put DD back on the Gaviscon and it seems to be staying down and helping her settle in the evenings. Last night she went to bed at 6.45pm and woke at 11.30 (but didn't go down for an hour and a half) then 5.00 am so not too bad. Long may it continue...

thefortbuilder · 11/06/2008 11:16

kanga - have you tried drinking fennel tea - suposed to help with productino, as does chamomile - there is a yogi tea for nursing moms (yes it's american) - email me at lysetteparbhu at yahoo dot co dot uk with your address if you want and i'll send you a pack i have left (I think!)

xxx

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asicsgirl · 11/06/2008 11:27

kanga sorry my brain is fried! lol at thought of you bottle feeding and expressing at same time - i'm sure it would work in theory but you'd need at least 6 hands

podglet well done for your organised day ! so sorry you are feeling rubbish. the hvs course sounds promising? and good luck with cbt x glad dd is sleeping a bit better again

asicsgirl · 11/06/2008 11:35

and ps fleurie imho you are not making a rod for your own back letting dd sleep on you. it's an issue if it stops you getting enough sleep (of course) but i do think tiny babies need what they need, and they are not forming habits yet - everything changes on a weekly basis anyway!

fwiw we always rocked ds1 to sleep (something all the books tell you not to do, but he wouldn't go off on his own!) and he would sleep on us too. until he was 2 yrs plus he would still fall asleep on us after his stories at night. but he just suddenly decided for himself that he wanted to get into bed instead, and now he is brilliant at getting himself off to sleep, sleeps really well, will go back to sleep if he wakes in the night, etc. so i don't think it did him any harm being mollycoddled as a baby/ small child!!

thefortbuilder · 11/06/2008 11:46

asicsgirl - your ds1 and mine could be twinnies with sleeping! although dh has started (a while ago) letting ds1 come in with us if he wakes up and it's now formed a habit that is a Rod For My Own Back as if ds2 wakes up (in our room) and makes a lot of noise he wakes ds1 up so i have to go down on the sofa with ds2 (our guest room is out of action at the moment with builders etc!)....

but fleurie i agree with asicsgirl - if your baby needs to fall asleep on you then let them!

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Youcannotbeserious · 11/06/2008 11:52

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KangaAndRoo · 11/06/2008 12:14

Oooh I meant to put that we had a fab night last night and the night before....fed at 10.30pm and awake at 4.30am and then this morning it was 5.30am!!! not bad for a 2.5wk old!...and an overtired mummy!! LOL

monkeysmama · 11/06/2008 12:38

Hello ladies

I should have proudly claimed my place among you on this thread weeks ago as Stella is 4 weeks old today. I have been reading the thread but my one finger typing while breast feeding a crying baby skills needed some work!

It is wonderful to see everyone here and all the news about lots of lovely little babies.

Things are going well for us. Stella wakes up at midnight, half two, half five and eight for food (am bf-ing) and feeds for about 20 minutes before going back to sleep. I can even feed her at 8 and get her back to sleep until 10ish on a good morning.

I am over the moon and happy in general with two minor gripes. The first is dp's snoring! I think I have only noticed it since we're both up a few times each night (he gets up to change the nappies - I do the feeding) but everytime he goes back to sleep he starts this low snoring and random thrashing about. It is like being in bed with a slob. That is an awful thing to say but at 3am it is all I can think. I have mentioned it to him and we've agreed to try and find a solution but aren't quite sure what just yet. It sounds stupid but I have let him sleep through a few nights (he doesn't always wake up with the baby) which he has been upset about (he is in love with her) but has saved me from the sleeping-slob thoughts!

I have a dummy issue! I hadn't really thought about the issue of dummies but the midwife suggested I might want to give Stella one as she sucks constantly and sometimes I need two hands to do things (rather than having a finger in her mouth) So we gave her one 2 weeks ago (she is fine bf-ing) which she didn't like so we took it away the same day. Last week she stopped settling as well and seems to have a bad belly a lot of the time. She doesn't cry much (apart from 2 random days of non stop screaming??) but last week she'd start falling asleep then wake up again and kept sucking her clothes etc. So we reintroduced the dummy. She now wants is all the time and is kind of whining/whimpering and sucking it very loudly even when she has just been fed. Does anyone else's baby do this? I am now not sure whether to take the dummy away or not?

I was glad to see the GF and Baby Whisperer comments earlier in this thread. I am not following any of the books (though I have read GF and Baby W and am avidly reading my Dr Spock every day!) and am worried I should be creating more of a routine.

DD feeds at more or less the same time every night but on demand in the day which seems to depend on what we do. If we're out all day she sleeps more. Does everyone else follow a "routine"?

Good to be back.

MM

newbishad · 11/06/2008 12:59

Monkeysmamma,

We have the same issue. Emily's feeding pattern is similar to Stella so we are all tired here and I have a DP who snores. I just ask him to lie on his side.

The dummy has been a god send. The health visitor recomended it because she is doing well breast feeding. I think we might have problems in the future getting her off them but for now we are all glad of the break (even her). I just see it as her television. She is sucking away on it now as I type.

Lots of love,

NS XXXX

monkeysmama · 11/06/2008 13:06

Thanks NS.

Sounds like a silly question but does Emily make a noise with her dummy? Stella souds like she hasn't eaten for years and is trying to get milk from it though I have had no problems with her bf-ing since she's had it and she seems to know it isn't a boob with milk in.

I read something about reflux and sucking and am wondering if that is what it could be. I am not unduly worried but she does seem to be in a bit of pain and like most of us I am learning as I go along - not sure what I should / shouldn't be worried about!

MM x

asicsgirl · 11/06/2008 13:36

mm welcome and belated congrats!! don't know anything abt dummies, but as far as routines are concerned i wouldn't worry this early. i know people whose dcs thrived on gf-style routines but ds1 just did what he wanted! i can't imagine i'd have had any success trying to impose a routine on him, lol! and i think i would have been happier/ less stressed if i'd stopped worrying about it

fwiw ds1 was pretty random during the day for ages, but sorted out his night feeding pretty early - by about 10 weeks he was sleeping for really long stretches regularly. but this wasn't because of anything we were doing - he just sorted himself out.

no idea what ds2 is going to be like, but i'm trying to relax and go with the flow! (easier said than done!)

walkingwomb · 11/06/2008 14:12

Hello all,

I had a bit of a shock reading through this at the problems people are having and how low they feel. Big hugs for everyone. We have been really really lucky as DD is a very placid baby and sleeps pretty well at night, very similar to Monkeymamma's wee one. I am not taking anything for granted and enjoying this while I can.

On the feeding front I am feeding all the time, espeically in the evening. Yesterday she started at about 7pm and was on an off until 11.10pm. i have basically just had to accept it and just sit there and read or watch TV. It is a pisser sometimes, but I am hoping that as she grows it will settle down. Anyone with a kid already shed any light on this?

In terms of the crying - I am scared to leave DD crying for longer than 5 mins. It seems I am a bit soft. She has phases were she grissles and cries a bit then conks out. But after trying lots of winding, cuddling, walking around it seems that she mainly does it when she wants more boob - so have just gone with that.

My sister has been staying and the company is lovely. She has gone home today and it is me and DD againl. i need to get out more to mother and baby groups but have a bit of social angst about them as i am a bit shy. I have been to one and they were friendly, but DD was so much younger than all the other babies and not really doing anything ot talk about. I will persevere as I am sure it will get better.

WW xx

KangaAndRoo · 11/06/2008 14:28

flick are you sure? you don't need the tea stuff then? I guess it's worth a try

LOL Asics @ 6 hands....i'd be happy with just an extra hand to hold the pump

Welcome to this side MM congrats!!!

Ooooh just remembered HV is coming to weigh big lad today....will do an update later x

asicsgirl · 11/06/2008 14:34

hi ww

yes the feeding all eve is called 'cluster feeding'. ds1 did it. pita! but imo it was one of the reasons he slept at night so well - tanking up for the long hours ahead!! so, it's swings and roundabouts iyswim

the crying for more boob sounds v familiar as well. i could never believe ds1 could possibly be hungry again but he was - nothing else would do!

imo you sound like you are doing brilliantly! don't feel you have to leave dd to cry - i know it works for some people, but imo you have to do what feels right for you and dd. i never used to let ds1 cry either and he turned out fine

thefortbuilder · 11/06/2008 15:35

ww don't get me wrong about crying - we never left jacob and he is fine and sam pretty much gets left to cry sometimes because we have to - bath and bed for jacob for instance. also for me, i learnt that babies do just cry as well - it took getting on to our 2nd child to accept that though

kanga def don't need it as am not bf'ing any more so contact me for it if you like.

xxx

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Casserole · 11/06/2008 19:11

Hi all, just checking in

Well, we're doing okay here... Leo had his tongue tie snipped a week ago and feeding has been better since, though still not perfect. Have given myself a day off today and fed him expressed milk in a bottle for all his feeds bar the 7am one. I've had a rotten cold all week and feel knackered and just couldn't face BFing him directly today.

For those asking re bottles, we introduced EBM in a bottle at about 4 weeks. Before we had the tongue tie snipped it was just so painful and I needed a break. Initially we used an Avent electric pump someone lent us but it broke and so we bought a £25 manual avent one from Tesco and for some reason I seem to get more out with the manual, which isn't the way I think it's meant to work but hey! I also find it easier to move around with the manual one - just shifting positions etc and not having to constantly search for where I last had the power cable. Leo hasn't displayed any confusion between the two that I can discern, and he put on 14oz this week so he seems to be doing okay with it My volume expressing has definitely gone up so keep going, and pump for at least 5-10 minutes after you think your boob is empty and you often find a shedload more! Also try massaging your boob whilst expressing, that's helped me sometimes...

Re leaving them to cry: we leave him initially for 5 minutes and then reassess. WE can generally tell now if he's winding himself up or down with the crying; if he's winding down we leave him to settle himself but if he's just getting in more and more of a state there's really no point.

For those of you whose babies need to be held: have you tried swaddling? We swaddled Leo because he kept whacking himself in the eye and scratching himself and he definitely sleeps better swaddled, though I'm trying to get him used to a grobag now too, esp on the hot days. The other day I had him swaddled in a turqoise sarong with hot pink flowers on as it was the coolest thing I could think of - very masculine!! i took a photo to embarrass him with when he's older

Lastly, routines. We're still doing GF and it's still working well for us. He only needs one feed in the night and that's getting later and later so I don't think it'll be ages before he drops it. Our basic schedule, which is somewhere between her 4-6 week and 6-8 week schedule is:
7am feed then social time
9am sleep
10am wash, dress, feed, social time
12noon sleep
2:30 feed then social time
4pm sleep
5pm feed, social time, bath, feed
7pm sleep
10:30pm feed
Night feed generally around 4-4:30am now
It's not going to suit everyone, clearly, because nothing does. And there are definitely days when he sticks to it better than others. On the days he doesn't, I just try to work out if he's short on feeds, sleep or wakey time and adjust a bit later in the day to compensate. And right now I have him asleep on me in a sling, which DEFINITELY isn't part of it but DH (who isn't so dear to me right now) nearly drowned him in the bath an hour ago and both Leo and I needed a bit of calming. He's fine now but I'm still a bit shaky, so the sleeping in sling thing is definitely for my comfort, not his... but right now I couldn't give a crap!!! So yeah, the bare bones of it definitely help us but we mix it up a bit as we need to. It's definitely helped psychologically for me to be able to see the progression to him going longer between feeds and slowly move towards sleeping less in the day and more at night.

But your mileage may, and will, vary!

What else? Oh, I bought one of these on ebay: www.closebabycarrier.com/ and it arrived today. So far am loving it. Leo's still colicky a fair bit of the time and so prefers to be upright - now thanks to this I have arms again!!

OK, longest post ever, sorry

Youcannotbeserious · 11/06/2008 20:04

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