June 2007 - What ingredients are mothers made of ? God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean!

[NattyThomasandEllen]

ah sparkly new thread.. i spotted this on my friends face book and had to share it:

WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers are given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of ?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your mom?

1. My Mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on. Ha ha ha ha!!!

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms & dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3. Dads are taller & stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's
4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did t and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

just thought it was funny!

I kill threads.

The gym itself have been fine and told me they will sort it, which is great (not that they have any idea how much was on there). I'm really angry because its the fucking policy makers who need to sort it and not make stupid rules which stitch their members up.

I am sick, sick, sick of organisations/people just not being fair. Of people not being nice or even considerate. Its a fucking shit world when someone rips you off around every fucking corner. Why the fuck can't people just be nice?

So, I am going to start a 'Generosity of spirit/random act of kindness/ polite and mannerly' campaign. You have to show at least one of the above on a daily basis. Letting another car pull out infront of you, letting the person behind you with one loo roll in the supermarket go ahead of you, that kind of thing. Just one thing a day. Who is with me?

I'm starting tomorrow, by the way. I feel far to aggrieved now.

I think its a good moto to live by Foxy.

I do try and think all the time treat others how you would want to be treated.......but i find it quite often doesn't work out like that there are far to many bastards in the world!

I'm always nice

But seriously - yes I do agree. But then it doesn't stop me wanting to punch someones head in when they cut me up.

Good point Fury, it doesn't stop me muttering "fecking wankers" or "miserable twats" at people when they cut me up Road rage? Moi?

Obviously, I do try not to do this in front of DCs, in particular DD!

I let myself off swearing in the car. It doesn't count.

"Why did you call that man a tosser, Mummy?"

lol Foxy

once my nephew went out with his grandad who forgot he was in the car and started yelling 'fucking volvo drivers'

When they got home, nan said to nephew 'so, how was your ride?'

'Well nan it was ok apart from the fucking volvo drivers'

ROFL Fury

doctor was shite. He didn't even examine me, or listen when I tried to explain the limited range of movement I have, just said Oh the muscle is spasming, I'll give you some paracetomol. When I told him that I had been taking co-codamol as the EPU said it was OK and that it hadn't even dented the pain, he dismissed it by saying "I don't believe in giving codeine to pregnant ladies". He did say I could use an ibuprofen gel though and that the diclofenac gel I have at home will be fine. I was in and out in less than two minutes! I should've waited and seen one of the other doctors; this one is typically shite and his appointments always fill up last as no-one likes him, least of all me (he's the one that prescribed me a vaginal pessary for breast thrish ).

Anyway, I double checked with the pharmacist that the diclofenac is OK, as I just don't trust him, but I'm not too happy about using it. I also bought some co-codamol over the counter (not as strong as the prescription stuff, but it'll be a little more effective than the paracetomol on its own) If it's still as bad tomorrow I'll go see someone else.

DH phoned work for me, and typically they were as nice as can be about it all, and sent their well wishes, than chatted amiably to DH about how he and the kids and his job were, so it looks like I'd just worried myself sick over nothing. DH even told tham i was pregnant again, but left it there for them to draw their own conclusions....but the barstools haven't paid me for the last foive weeks holiday, so I've had to send an e-mail asking whether I should have been paid and reminding our finance chappy that he told me before I went on ML that I would be paid for my accrued holidays.

foxy, i always let people in front of me as a way of deflecting my road rage. It works surprisingly well!

lol fury......my nephew used to hear lots of swearing from his uncle who used to look after him. I had him in the car with me one day and was about to get arsey at someone who drove out in front of me on a roundabout.....DN shouted "that man's a wanker" at the top of his voice, and my dear mum was in the car too! We didn't know whether to get cross with him or laugh!

Shitty shite Daisy, your GP is a true tosser.

Am pleased that the work situation is out in the open. I'm sure they are tutting and rolling their eyes, but who cares? Everyone knows the score now, and it must be a weight off your mind.

One less thing to worry about!

School run time

for you about the GP Daisy. Why do people think that paracetamol is a cure all? Having said that I did give birth on 2 paracetamol

oh dear. DS asleep in DD's cot - he was so naughty - after seemingly a billion trips to his naughty spot and deliberately winding me up by throwing things around the house, I put him there. And now he's asleep. And it's getting late - but am loathe to wake him up and endure more of his shenanigans today!!

why isn't it as easy as it sounds to remain patient, caring, full of distractions and fun? auuughhhhhh

sorry this is a thread for 11-mo olds - am always here complaining about my 2yr old! my little DD is just so easy in comparison, I don't ever want her to grow up into one of these utter nightmares!!!

ikwym lilkel; it's a thin line between letting them sleep if they need to and Oh dear, he's not going to want to go to bed now! DS used to always fall asleep at 3pm and if i woke him he would be un-bloody-bearable until bedtime.
How are you anyway? if you're still feeing ropey, then the line of least resistance is probably best!

ooooh, I'm getting a visitor. Off to put the kettle on!

looks like i failed the be nice rule already as I certainly wouldn't want to be tossed into my little sister's cot as punishment

Daisy am in full agreement your GP is shite. Can you request a different one next time? I have to do this at my surgery...after one of them took one look at my mastitis and asked "so what's the problem then? take 2 paracetemol and feed through it"...cue massive fever 8 hours later and fainting spells, rush to out-of-hours , where I was given antibiotics asap. grrr.

right. off to get DS out of the cot and try to be nice

Daisy, your GP is an idiot. Hope you feel better soon.

Lilkel hope the rest of your day with ds goes ok.

Foxy I'm with you on being nice. Sometimes I feel very negative and wish I was a nicer person.

well ignoring the tantrums seems to help. god though this can be such hard, thankless work...!

oooh, lilkel, you're not giving me much confidence for having my two under two!

have you tried baby signing with DS? It might help with his tantrums if they are due to his not being able to express himself? DD knows the sign for "all done". We have much less flying food now she knows it, so we're keen to get learning some more!

hey bumper, how's you?

Daisy, sorry the GP was poo. Is it worth trying to see anothe and telling them that you weren't happy that he didn't even examine you?

Foxy, that sounds like a good way to live.

Lilekl, sorry you are having such a hard time at the moment

Everybody, a big good eeeeevening

Daisy, this might sound daft, but have you tried rubbing some tiger balm on it? That stuff works miracles. Won't cure it but I would imagine it would bring you some relief.

not got any fury, but is that like an embrocation? I was wondering whether vicks might give the muscles some relief

i took my two paracetomol and rolled on some voltarol.....pain went from excruciating to just awful for an hour and is back to excruciating again. I JUST WANT IT TO GO AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY.

I can't even moan about it out loud, as I don't want to make DH feel any worse than he already does.

so...am off to feel miserable in silence in front of the telly....

fairy, I'm going to call again in the morning.

night all.

night Daisy, hope it gets sorted.

I'm off too. N'night.

Oh bollocks!

I've been popping in and catching up in the evenings this week - but by the time I've got home from work, played, fed, bathed, bottled and bedded little fella, ridden the horse, and been to the gym, and come home had some dinner and scratched my arse.............you've all fecked off to bed!
So
Hello!
Will catch up over the weekend
xx

I'm still here telly was shite ad I got caught up in an argument debate on another thread

bloody hell DKMA, I'm knackered just reading that!